You Will Be Okay.

4000!

A huge thank you to my 4,022 subscribers. That number really snuck up on me. If you’re an artist please hit me up! I’m sitting on a episode of Castles in the Air until I have some cool art to go alongside it, and I’ll start uploading them to Youtube as well. 

I, a lesbian, find you very attractive

This is a strangely consistent demographic for a skeleton to have. 

Annihilation

0.0001 multiplied by the speed of light squared is 9 trillion.

Or, 100mg worth of matter and antimatter multiplied by 3x10^8 squared gives you 9000000000000 joules of energy. Specifically, this is referred to as Annihilation energy.

0.0001 kg would provide the equivalent of 14.28 % of the energy in the Hiroshima atomic bomb. 

The average weight of two human bodies is 124kg.

Scepticism is the luxury afforded to those free from the pain of desperation

Castles in the Air, Episode Five (A Work in Progress)

Happy Halloween y'all. This is my low budget Gravelord Nito costume. Or, I’m “skeletons”.

Callisto

Sleek, silver. No shadow. Silver.

You acquaint yourself with what you’re looking at. The fog around the corners of your eyes dissolves. Slowly, the ceiling above you begins to materialise. “I am alive,” you think, “but too soon.”

This was wrong. Surely, this is wrong. You had heard that time doesn’t seem to pass when you’re under, but this seems distinctly different. Something was looming over you - the sleek silver ceiling that bore no shadow seemed like a distant, yet familiar threat. That was it - there should be a shadow there! If you in orbit of Callisto by now there would be a shadow. You turn your head -

No. You can’t. Something is wrong. You can’t move - you can’t even feel. Not like a numbness, no, like an absence. Your eyes dart down - the position of your body makes hardly anything visible. You just want to check - is it still there? Are you all still even there? Then you remember;

The Cells Alive.

The Cells Alive System was revolutionary. Loosely based on a process used in a Japanese Fridge of all things, the process involved freezing living tissue without the risk of damage or liquid crystallisation. For longhaul journeys like this, it was a Godsend.

By why were you awake? Why had your brain awoken without the rest of you? You wondered if something similar had happened to the rest of the crew - if you could just turn your head, you could check on them. A hot wave passes over you - or more accurately, your brain. Your mind. That’s the part of you you can feel. What was happening?

Sleek, shadowless ceiling. Just look at something else.

Memory ekes back in, slowly. You remember now - something had gone wrong. The ship lost power. You had no idea why - you were in a pod, for God’s sake. Either way, the hum of the ship was gone.

Well, “hum” is an embellishment. You have no sense of hearing presently, but when the ship is moving, you can feel the vibrations in your skull. If you can move your eyes, it’s a safe bet you’d be able to feel the ship’s engine, rocking them ever so slightly.

Or maybe your ears did work. Maybe there was just nothing to hear.

The ship was at a standstill - yet here you were. You remember, in your earlier days, before the mission, asking about the safety of the pods. In the dim blue light of a distant memory, nestled deep in the canopy of your faraway world, you remember, and are overcome with horror.

Early in the morning, the engineer reassures you. The pods run on a separate power source. They’ll keep you frozen, and keep you fed, even if the main ships power dies. Your body needs so little food in this state, and the machine will even exercise your muscles a little while you sleep.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Why are you awake? How long will you be awake? Does Earth know you are?

It is frustrating that the overwhelming panic that grips you has no outlet - no sweat, no swearing, no screaming - nothing. Even your eye control is limited - you can’t even blink. The pod is keeping your eye moist. Were the settings jumbled? Why was your brain awake? Why were your eyes?

“Send me to sleep,” you pray. “Send me to sleep, send me to sleep until we’re rescued, please.” Like a child, you wish you could tighten your eyes, to amplify the strength of the wish.

Then another terrifying thought overcomes you; what if they aren’t coming for you? What if, back home, all they see is that the power is out? What if they assume you dead? What if they never come? How long will you be this way?

Silver, sleek, featureless. This image would burn into your eyes until, even if you escaped, it would have long since shrivelled up your retinas. Please, you ask, give me a shadow. Give me a detail to latch on to - give me something.

“The CAS system will keep you going,” I remembered, “pretty much indefinitely.”

Send me to sleep and kill me. Please. Send me to sleep and kill me. Cut the feeding tube off. Let your muscles atrophy. Please. God. Please.

Deja Vu. You remember thinking this before. What time was this? Has this happened before to me? How long have I… You remember… Yes, this did happen before, you woke up. But something was different.

Christ, God, no. The ceiling, you remember now. It wasn’t featureless. There was a mural on it. Where was it? Where had it gone? It was a schematic of the ship, where had it gone?! Was this the same ship? had you been taken, somehow? Was I home?! Wait, no, have I -

had you just been here long enough for your eyesight to fade?

How long have you been here?

No, I can’t have… This is all… Ah yes. Now you remember. Silver. Sleek. Featureless. You hadn’t woken up just now. It was… something else. A moment of clarity… You think. Alzheimer’s? Dementia? Not a physical thing, though. It was time, gnawing at me… Something… Else.

They say that time passes quicker the older you are. I wonder how long I have been here… Time doesn’t seem to be passing quicker, though maybe i would only notice if I had a point of reference… Something besides this ceiling… Maybe if I tried to have a conversation, everything would be moving too fast for me to follow. How long does it take a human brain to rot from the inside out, on its own accord?

I wonder if they mourned me, on the news… I wonder what a human face looks like. What do shapes look like?

The moments of clarity are the worst. I want it to take me over completely. I wonder how scared I was, the first time. The first time I realised this was everything… I wonder how different I really have it from people back home. This is ageing, this is just… Time… That’s all it is. The time we’re all afflicted by… condensed… into a…

How old are you? I remember now… Laying here… you remember the schematic fading… You could even notice it happening. Almost in real time, I saw it fade. Let me close my eyes.

Callisto, you think, must be beautiful. A beautiful silver. Sleek. Featureless.

My first video essay. I talk about the film “A Ghost Story” and how it uses things like aspect ratio and literal temporal editing to get across tone. 

Would really appreciate any likes/comments/subscriptions at this point. Let me know what you all think!

Hello everyone! In this video (which is probably the single one I’m most proud of to date), I examine one of the most famous shots in all of cinema and try to figure out what makes it so special.

Soy Cuba is a strange movie; a Cuban film funded by the USSR, meant as a piece of Propoganda but abandoned for not being radical enough. Check out my video and let me know what you think, and if you have any other suggestions for films I should take a look at, speak up!

I have to disagree here. The only thing punching a nazi does is make a martyr out of them. Cultural wars are only won by hindering and lessening sign-up rates for the opposition. Sure, it’s possible to get people to leave the side they’re on or have a change of heart, but you’re never going to “win” that way. You’re only going to win if you can stop people from joining.

And punching these people doesn’t work. Young, dumb and disenfranchised people who have the potential of siding with this ideology are absolutely not going to see an asshole getting their just desserts. They are going to see someone they view as similarly disenfranchised getting hurt for their beliefs. That’s what they’re going to see. They’re going to see evidence that the opposition are “PC thugs” as they’ve been told. They’re going to see the masses cheering as someone whose ideology they agree with (or have the potential to agree with) gets hurt - and that doesn’t dissuade evangelism.

No matter how much you dislike it, and how wrong you feel it is on a moral level, engagement with the young and vulnerable to adopting this ideology is the only way to make progress, because if we all write someone off who is on the verge of adopting these beliefs they will only have one place to go. Treat people on the verge with sympathy, speak to them reasonably and with respect, and try to change their mind. The old vanguard, and those who will never change - the public figures of hate, though, need to be fought with mockery. These are people who should be not be shouted down as they speak, but be viciously made the fool afterwards. Tear down the idols and heroes of hatespeech, but engage the young and vulnerable. 

I know I am coming from a fairly privileged position here, and admit it may be easier to accept this form of rhetoric having never been the victim of right-wing extremism. I hold no ill will to those too tired or flummoxed to expend any energy on these people.

The point I wanted to make, simply, is that if you want to feel good, punch a nazi. If you want to win, engage the young. 

Hey everybody. Here’s a video I made about animation, what it means to me and the psychological idea of “Flow” - or when a task becomes meditative. 

If you enjoy this video, please feel free to let me know if there’s another topic you’d like me to talk about. Similarly, any advice/general comments are much obliged. 

Oh! And I went and did a twitter now because people on my videos kept asking. Feel free to follow me @The_Infranaut

Thanks everybody!