Batman:

She is beauty, she is grace, and she will slam a brick into your face.

Robin (1993) #69

“A hot shower and breakfast is all I need.”

“In addition to sixteen hours’ sleep, a three-month vacation, a blood transfusion, and a full psychiatric examination.”

Detective Comics #661

the holy grail types of fanfic

Bernard having dinner with the Bats:

Bernard *in the middle of dessert*: Y'know, Batman is such a liar

Bruce *setting down his glass*: Excuse me?

Bernard: Well he has this whole 'I am the Night, I work Alone' speech but I have literally never seen him alone?

Dick and Tim *silently dying*

Damian: Explain, Dowd

Bernard: Well he's always had his emotional support orphans-

Jason and Cass: *cackling*

Bernard: -and he works with the Justice League. Plus he clearly has a thing for Superman-

Bruce: Batman...is in love....with Superman?

Bernard: *nodding sagely* Oh yeah, my gaydar is always on point and Batman is 100% bi

Bruce: *Staring straight ahead* Batman is bi?

Bernard: Yeah I know, but it's kinda obvious. Like my thing for Red Robin-

*Tim dying loudly, Jason howling*

Bernard: -Or Nightwing. Nightwing's hot.

Dick: *chokes on his ice cream*

Leaving the Suit Behind? You Are Invited to Fill Out the Robin Exit Interview

OPEN

Jason, calling Bruce Dad to get things he probably doesn’t need:

Damian:

the fact that you can press b to cancel a pokemons evolution is so funny to me. like imagine a butterfly about to emerge from a chrysalis and you just put your hand on it like ‘shhh. buddy. not yet’ and its like ‘aww ok’ n climbs back in and zips itself up like a sleeping bag 

You ever think about how Cassandra Cain was homeless for 10 years, wasn’t able to speak or read the entire time, and somehow made it from Macau all the way to Gotham? DC hello??? There’s a story there

Such a dog

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