Ben In E1: All Creepy And Serious With His Hood On, Just Nods And Says Nothing

Ben in e1: all creepy and serious with his hood on, just nods and says nothing

Ben in e2: did you ever think about having some orange juice for breakfast instead of drugs

Writers as Marvel Characters

Steve Rogers: Diligent. Politically, scientifically, anatomically, emotionally correct. Posts on time. Sticks to the schedule and their own well-mapped-out-and-classic-plot. Actually enjoys constructive criticism because it will help them improve but has been known to reply with, “Well, actually...” Always trying to help. Annoying but has good intentions.

Bucky Barnes: A writing machine in Winter Mission Mode when a plot idea takes over their minds. In between missions they are lost and shopping for plums in a Romanian farmer’s market. Has moments where they can’t remember how to write themselves out of writostasis. Easily triggered by words. Eternal Internal Screaming. Made a grave mistake letting Steve Rogers beta their stories. Might be a mess. Might need rehab.

Tony Stark: Intelligent and knows it. Clearly educated, knows synonyms and metaphors without needing to look them up. Writes elaborate, scientifically correct stories. Reads up on thermonuclear physics just for fun research. Has an explanation for literally everything. Has a literary device for every plot hole. Obnoxious but when you need to read something reliably good, they deliver. Exhausted by constantly trying to prove and improve themselves. Sometimes forgets how to human. Wants to give advice that nobody asked for. Hard to like until you get to know them. Is a little lonely maybe.

Peter Parker: New kid on the scene. Wants to be liked. Writes A LOT. Posts A LOT. Wants A LOT of comments. Uses a lot of =))))))))) in the writer notes. Latches onto senior writers and wants to be in a clique. Often shoot their loads prematurely. Frequently gets some very good plot ideas but currently lacking the perfect execution. Gets stuck in their own web of plot holes.

Loki: Professional shit-stirrer of the fandom. You’re never sure if they’re your friend or not. Spends more time being contrary than actually writing. Sometimes leaves stories with cliffhangers that never reach a conclusion. Deliberately writes NOTPs just for fun. Needs constant validation from an audience. Is actually quite talented if they bothered to focus their energy on writing and not bickering. Just wants to be liked (on the down low.)

Wanda Maximoff: Might be a hack. Might be a genius. Has tapped into The Power of Knowledge but doesn’t actually know how to harness it into a coherent story. Flashes of brilliance followed swiftly but flashes of despair and self-loathing. Powerful but poor discipline. Likely to destroy and delete their stories on a whim because some words don’t look right or their aim was slightly off that day. Notorious for abandoning ideas and leaving a trail of incomplete stories in their wake.

Thanos: Trigger Warning-Character Death. A total sadist. The writers you get a little worried about.

Peter Quill: Hilarious. Jokes every two sentences. Pop culture references and always puts soundtrack links in their author notes. A gift for natural dialogue and conversations. Doesn’t get taken seriously because of the lack of drama in their stories but secretly writing humour in order to deal with underlying traumas of their past. One day will write a heartbreaking story and play it off as a joke.

Wade Wilson: PWP Crack writers. R-rated. Anatomically graphic. Sometimes the realism is a touch too real. 50% hilarious. 50% makes-you-uncomfortable. Might have emotional range and depth but often chooses not to show it. Probably mentions pizza, beer and mexican food in their stories. A Good Bro but needs a Mute-Button and thesaurus sometimes.

Natasha Romanoff: Better than you and you both know it. Gives off an air of superiority. Super clique-y but they also keep themselves at a distance. Good at literally every genre and writing style. Leaves no plot holes behind, ever. All stories are clean headshots with neat conclusions. Their plot twists have plot twists. Either they’ve done extensive research or they’ve actually been an assassin. The type of author you’re intimidated by and too scared to talk to.

Thor: Never Say Die Writers. Hammers out story after story. Will write themselves to God Status, no matter what it takes. Will shed blood, sweat, tears, an eye, a sibling…to achieve their goals. Honourable and respects other writers. They’ve got hustle and you can’t help but like them.

T’Challa: Feels heavily burdened by the Fandom Crown after writing one of the most badass Iconic stories of the century. Fucks off to Wakanda so you never hear from them again. It would take a Fandom Apocalypse to get them to come back. Constructs sentences so advanced that it makes you want to retire from your own writing. Infuriatingly cool. Is benevolent but doesn’t need hits and comments for validation. Gets them anyway, without even trying.

Stephen Strange: A literal wizard at world building. Known for their elaborate plots and multi-tiered-multi-character-multi-chapter stories. Cradle-To-The-Grave-type writers. Doesn’t believe in One-Shots. One-Shots are for the weak. Way too indulgent with language and minute details. Probably knows Latin. Often competes with Tony Stark writers for title of “Most Obnoxiously Complex Story Ever”. Frequently exhausting. Takes writing a little too seriously. Annoying but worth it.

Bruce Banner: Dramatic. The definition of “well that escalated quickly”. Will start off writing an endearingly small and clever story but all hell breaks loose by chapter three. Suddenly there is a lot of shouting and misunderstandings and chapters that read like glorified keyboard smashes. Everyone suffers. You don’t know what happened. Nobody knows what happened. Not even the writer. PTSD.

Clint Barton: 90% Sarcasm. 10% Plot. The master of the One-Shot because that’s all they need. Doesn’t believe in time wasting, indulgent flowery language and poetic confessions. Writes to get it out of their system so they can go back to their actual real lives. Secretly eye-rolls at Stephen Strange writers but also awed by them. Doesn’t know what a beta is.

Groot: The Holy Grail Of All Writers. Straight up literature. Can condense an entire paragraph into three words. Will write devastation and break your heart within the first five lines. Understands language in a way that most mere mortals can’t hope to achieve in one lifetime. The writer you bookmark and remember. Fandom famous. Universally loved.

Part II

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