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Why "doing something relaxing” does not help your anxiety

A lot of the time when people give advice intended to relieve anxiety, they suggest doing “relaxing” things like drawing, painting, knitting, taking a bubble bath, coloring in one of those zen coloring books, or watching glitter settle to the bottom of a jar.

This advice is always well-intentioned, and I’m not here to diss people who either give it or who benefit from it. But it has never, ever done shit for me, and this is because it goes about resolving anxiety in the completely wrong way.  

THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO when suffering from anxiety is to do a “relaxing” thing that just enables your mind to dwell and obsess more on the thing that’s bothering you. You need to ESCAPE from the dwelling and the obsession in order to experience relief.

You can drive to a quiet farm, drive to the beach, drive to a park, or anywhere else, but as someone who has tried it all many, many times, trust me–it’s a waste of gas. You will just end up still sad and stressed, only with sand on your butt. You can’t physically escape your sadness. Your sadness is inside of you. To escape, you need to give your brain something to play with for a while until you can approach the issue with a healthier frame of mind. 

People who have anxiety do not need more time to contemplate, because we will use it to contemplate how much we suck.

In fact, you could say that’s what anxiety is–hyper-contemplating. When we let our minds run free, they run straight into the thorn bushes. Our minds are already running, and they need to be controlled. They need to be given something to do, or they’ll destroy everything, just like an overactive husky dog ripping up all the furniture. 

Therefore, I present to you: 

THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO WHEN ANXIOUS

–Go on a walk

–Watch a sunset, watch fish in an aquarium, watch glitter, etc.

–Go anywhere where the main activity is sitting and watching

–Draw, color, do anything that occupies the hands and not the mind

–Do yoga, jog, go fishing, or anything that lets you mentally drift 

–Do literally ANYTHING that gives you great amounts of mental space to obsess and dwell on things.

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO WHEN ANXIOUS:

–Do a crossword puzzle, Sudoku, or any other mind teaser game. Crosswords are the best.

–Write something. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece. Write the Top 10 Best Restaurants in My City. Rank celebrities according to Best Smile. Write some dumb Legolas fanfiction and rip it up when you’re done. It’s not for publication, it’s a relief exercise that only you will see. 

–Read something, watch TV, or watch a movie–as long as it’s engrossing. Don’t watch anything which you can run as background noise (like, off the top of my head, Say Yes to The Dress.) As weird as it seems, American Horror Story actually helps me a lot, because it sucks me in. 

–Masturbate. Yes, I’m serious. Your mind has to concentrate on the mini-movie it’s running. It can’t run Sexy Titillating Things and All The Things That are Bothering Me at the same time. (…I hope. If it can, then…ignore this one.) 

–Do math problems—literally, google “algebra problems worksheet” and solve them. If you haven’t done math since 7th grade this will really help you. I don’t mean with math, I mean with the anxiety. 

–Play a game or a sport with someone that requires great mental concentration. Working with 5 people to get a ball over a net is a challenge which will require your brain to turn off the Sadness Channel. 

–Play a video game, as long as it’s not something like candy crush or Tetris that’s mindless. 

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO DURING PANIC ATTACKS ESPECIALLY:

–List the capitals of all the U.S. states

–List the capitals of all the European countries

–List all the shapes you can see. Or all the colors. 

–List all the blonde celebrities you can think of.

–Pull up a random block of text and count all the As in it, or Es or whatever.  

Now obviously, I am not a doctor. I am just an anxious person who has tried almost everything to help myself.  I’ve finally realized that the stuff people recommend never works because this is a disorder that thrives on free time and free mental space. When I do the stuff I listed above, I can breathe again. And I hope it helps someone here too. 

(Now this shouldn’t have to be said but if the “do nots” work for you then by all means do them. They’ve just never worked for me.)

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jin’s poster drops: love yourself

me: BITCH 🗣 DID 🗣 YOU 🗣 HEAR 🗣 WHAT 🗣 HE 🗣 SAID 🗣 LOVE YOURSELF!!!! DRINK LOTS OF WATER 💦💦EAT 3 MEALS A DAY 🍽🤤 GET 8 HOURS OF SLEEP 😴 OPEN THE CURTAINS, LET DI WIND IN, ISSA NICE DAY TO L 🌈💚💝💜💞😭💙💖💘☀️✨ O 😭💚💜💝✨💓🕊💞💌🌈 V 💖💘💖🌈💝💓💞☀️ E 💖💚💞☀️💜💓💝💘💌🌈 YOURSELF!!!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Haikyuu!! Fic Recs #1

Hola! 

I have wanted to make this post for ages (and the reason this blog was created) and am really excited to share some of my favourite Haikyuu fics with everyone!

I will be putting a ‘★’ next to the ones that i highly recommend and love with my heart and soul.

Lets get started!

KageHina

In Transit - by Mysecretfanmoments

Hinata finds that he likes standing close to Kageyama on buses and trains. It doesn’t mean anything–probably. Maybe. 

(complete)

baby, i can give you wings - by Metis_Ink

In which there are superpowers, cats, rainstorms, realizations, split-second jealousy, embarrassing volleyparents, killer whales, electric Kuroos, unstable emotions, bad romance movie mentions, some angst, some fluff, but mostly a lot of awkward high schoolers.

The minute Kageyama walks into the gym and sees Hinata hovering eight feet over the nets he knows he’s screwed.

(complete)

★ fake it, make it - by zadderlee

“Because Kageyama is already dating someone!”

“Really? Who?”

“Me!” Hinata shouts suddenly, grabbing Kageyama’s hand as an afterthought and grinning triumphantly, like he’s somehow missed the implications of what he’s just done. Kageyama is going to kill him.

(ongoing)

Oblivious To Love - by Karumasa

Yellow filled Hinata’s vision. The inside of his bag was stuffed full with bananas.

Hinata was terrified.

(complete)

DaiSuga

★ Fake Wedding March - by tsukkkiii (becauseitisbitter)

Minutes before Daichi is going to introduce his fiance to his parents, he gets dumped via text. So while he sits in front of his parents, trying to figure out what to say, an angel appears next to him.

or: Suga pretends to be Daichi’s fiance to save his ass.

(complete)

forever is a long time but i wouldn’t mind spending it with you - by  Interconnected_3 

“What else?” Daichi blinks. “What else is there? Do you want me to tell you how you like your coffee?” He grins teasingly. “I don’t know, how do I like my coffee? By the way, you’re missing something.” “Cream and two and a half sugars- wait, I’m missing something?” “Yup,” Suga says. “You forgot to mention that we’re dating.” “Well, god, Suga, judging from how we’ve been kissing and holding hands for three years and in this bed for the past nine hours since last night, I couldn’t possibly tell.”

in which daichi finally gets the day off and teaches a romantically-frustrated suga how to be honest with himself. extreme fluff

(complete)

★ Black and Blue - by MTrash (Makaria)

Daichi’s new (temporary) neighbor is not only stunningly beautiful but also funny, friendly, with just a touch of mysterious.

Naturally, Daichi freaks the fuck out.

(AU where everyone lives in the same building and everyone is gay)

(complete)

i do (cherish you) - by gabstar

The first time Daichi suggests it, it’s a joke.

“Sugawara Koushi,” he says solemnly. He’s bent on one knee, the floor is still sticky with sweat post-practice. He offers up the lost ring, found while mopping off gym floors. “Will you marry me?”

((Five times Daichi asks Suga to marry him, plus once where he finally, finally says yes.))

(complete)

TsukkiYama

The Great Yamaguchi-Tsukishima Split (Capitalization Necessary) - by WyYeuw

“But no, the current situation isn’t normal. This situation requires the full attention of the team. No, what’s really concerning this time around, is that Yamaguchi is the one ignoring Tsukishima.” Yamaguchi confesses. Tsukishima fucks up—like, really fucks up. The volleyball club notices and loses a week’s worth of practice.

(complete)

★ Do you see what I see? - by superpapershark   

Three times Tsukishima wonders what colour Yamaguchi’s eyes are, and the one time he finds out.

(complete)

★ Try This On For Size - by CloudMonsta 

A lot changed for Yamaguchi Tadashi over the course of high school. He started trying on dresses, for one.

(complete)

Blood - by darkbluebox 

Words like "Muggle-born” and “Pure-blood” don’t mean a lot when you’re still a child, but everyone has to grow up sooner or later.

(complete)

AsaNoya

Setting Aside Your Pride and Your Prejudice - by sugamama_crowshi

“Oh, Pride and Prejudice?” an unfamiliar voice asked. Noya was pulled from his search as the man before him spoke. He blinked up at him a few times. Then he stared. Nishinoya’s mouth was probably hanging open slightly. He couldn’t help it. Before him stood the single most gorgeous man Nishinoya Yuu had every laid eyes on.

Nishinoya Yuu experiences love at first sight at the library. Azumane Asahi is excited to think that another Japanese person has heard of Jane Austen. Through a series of lies and café meetups the two begin to learn more about each other. And fall for each other too.

(complete)

★ I’d Like You Anyway - by KuriKuri 

Yū believes in soulmates, but that doesn’t mean he believes in them.

(Or: An AU in which any permanent marking you get on your body - like a tattoo - also appears on your soulmate. And Yū gets a lot of tattoos.)

(complete)

★ come and take a walk on the wild side - by Authoress 

There’s a bloodcurdling scream of terror, and then Noya remembers that, right, there’s a new person moving into the apartment next to him. Oops.

(in which Noya is accidentally the Worst Neighbor Ever, Asahi loses twenty years of his life to stress, and Rolling Thunder is the star of the show.)

(complete)

Under the Radar - by lilien passe (lilienpasse)  

Two weeks after Asahi rejoins the team, Noya finds himself starting to slip during practice. Missed receives, floor burns, the whole nine yards. But when Tanaka points out the possible cause, Noya’s hard-pressed to believe him. There’s no way someone as dopey yet implausibly-competent as Asahi could be the cause of all his distress. After all, Noya doesn’t worry about much beyond the court, and he certainly doesn’t hold grudges. Right? (Semi-AU)

(complete)

KuroKen

★ Saltwater Room - by hipster-yams (madamedicelia)

Kenma had been perfectly happy just attending class half-asleep, secretly practicing cello, and occasionally getting his hand stuck in the vending machine but certain people refuse to let his quiet bliss go on and force him to think about everything he’s been trying to hide away in the depths of his mind for years.

(complete)

★ Water and Brimstone - by  aetherdrive 

Kuroo and Kenma are assigned to go undercover as a result of Bokuto’s awkward attempt at playing matchmaker… but their simple case turns out to be a lot more dangerous than they expected.

(complete)

[A/N: this one is a sequel to another fic Crisis Converted (which is also amazing), i will also link the whole series which features BokuAka, KuroKen and IwaOi here]

Show A Little Faith - by minijhi

“Why are you sending me a singing Valentine telegram?“ Kenma asks, mouth flattened. "It’s six months until Valentine’s Day.”

“I bought a dwarf over the summer to use as cupid.” Kuroo says. “I figured he could use some practice.”

-

Presenting Kenma as the Boy-Who-Lived, whose living becomes a lot more interesting when Ravenclaw Prince Kuroo Tetsurou starts sending him singing telegrams about defeating the Dark Lord.

(complete)

In The Dark Of The Night - by dgalerab  

The Tokyo training camp has to use an older sports center while their usual one is renovated. Kenma is used to paying attention to the minor details, and the minor details in this place don’t seem very friendly.

(Or: Kenma notices an angry ghost before anyone else does, and it’s not a very good thing for Kenma.)

(complete)

IwaOi

the truth is out there - by shizuoh  

"I work at NASA,” Hajime said, setting down his coffee.

Oikawa immediately jumped up and slammed his palms against the table. “I’ll suck your dick if you tell me about the aliens.”

(complete)

★ love me like you do - by crossbelladonna  

Iwaizumi’s family line is cursed to die a year after they fall in love. Admittedly, he knows falling for his childhood friend may be a mistake. But he did and he passed and Death got what he wants that is until Oikawa makes a trade—his memories for Iwaizumi’s life.

(complete)

The PDA jar - by Poteto

“What is that thing for?”

“I’m glad you asked, captain. This… is the Public Display of Affection jar. Or PDA jar for short.”

“Now whenever you do something that may hurt our children’s innocence, you’ll have to put money in the jar as a punishment.“

(complete)

★ equilibrium - by laconicGhost \

Hajime sighs, leaning against the stove as he turns to face Tooru, who’s still peeking up at him from under his arm. He purses his lips and ignores the heat in his cheeks as he rolls a stiff shoulder.

“What?”

Tooru hides his face when he realizes he’s been caught, laughing a little bit to cover up his embarrassment. “I’m happy, Iwa-chan,” he says cheerfully.

(complete)

Multi/Misc.

★ Sincerely Yours - by quinnlocke [Multi.]

Saturday detention isn’t normally a place you go in order to find the answers to your problems

It’s where you go when you’ve fucked up bad enough you have to lose an entire Saturday to make up for what you’ve done.

The Prince and The Criminal were caught cutting class. The Outsider cursed out his Shakespeare professor. The Jock and The Brain got into a fist fight.

And the Birthday Boy, he’s not even supposed to be here…

(complete)

★ call me maybe - by totooru [MatsuMaki]

Hanamaki texts the wrong number when trying to extort tips out of Oikawa in order to defeat Iwaizumi in arm wrestling, and then continues to text the witty stranger who had answered.

(complete)

[A/N: this fic is freakin’ hilarious] 

Love It If We Made It - by mangetsu_san [KyouHaba]

Yahaba locks himself up in his room after their loss to Karasuno, so Kyoutani decides to take him on a little adventure.

(complete)

Mixed Signals - by snoqualmie [KyouHaba]

Feelings are definitely a thing he’s having. Kyoutani is really sweet. He’s family oriented and he prefers novels with female leads and he’s in all honors classes. He kind of has a big head, totally has a big smile, definitely has a big heart. His eyes are nice, he’s got that dimple. Yahaba groans and rubs his fists into his eyes.

(complete)

The Lost & the Found - by AJ (anna_panda) [Multi]

"Being lost is worth the being found.”

Hinata thinks he finally knows his way around the castle, Kenma knows he definitely doesn’t and it’s a miracle Iwaizumi hasn’t thrown Oikawa off the Astronomy Tower yet. Just another year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry.

(ongoing)

it’s easier for you to let me go - by burritosong [YakuLev]

the one with the proposal

(complete)

1800-GET-REKT - by doggoneit [KuroTsukki]

“I see you like it Between the Sheets.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Your drink. It’s good stuff but I’m more of a Blowjob kinda guy.”

(complete)

★ Crumbling Foundations - by Captain_Hughes_ZU, ToshiChan [Gen]

Things like this didn’t happen in Karasuno. It was just a school. Learning, making friends, taking exams and playing volleyball. Lots of volleyball. So it was really nothing out of the ordinary for the team to be in the gym on a simple Monday morning, training away. But two men walking into the gym with guns, one demanding to take his son? That wasn’t ordinary, not at all…

(complete)

And that’s a wrap, i really enjoyed putting this together! Got a bit of nostalgia from when i first started getting into Haikyuu.

I hope you enjoy reading the fics i recommended, i still have heaps more so look out for a second part!

Anyways,

Au revoir!

Because we all need this 

Bangtan City ✧ || Happy 4th Anniversary ♡

Y’all so I made this based on that one vine. But you mean to tell me this didn’t happen?

@sweet-potatoq i went back through the scene and your text post was spot on

OMG I LOVE THIS HEIJFNDJINVSDFNJKVNSDFV am i this memorable CHAROT thank you i love this

good omens 2 is genuinely so funny. it's like a good omens/crossover fandom fic got turned into a whole 6 hours of television. crowley and aziraphale kissed and then immediately broke up. the main plot of the show revolves around trying to get two lesbians together jane austen style. half the runtime is dedicated to random historical flashbacks of crowley and aziraphale homosexually interacting. they got rid of every single one of the straight couples. it's canon compliant to the bible