WHY COULDNT THEY HAVE JUST SAID KEEP HIM WHOLE??! IN ONE PIECE 😭😭😭

I’m grieving so I blame “Gege take his top off” Gojo stans. This is YOUR fault

It’s been a while, but now it’s SnK fic time!

Shared Sorrow

Nikolo walked mechanically ahead, knowing the route to his destination from the heart by now. The grave yard wasn’t devoid of other people, but this time, none of them paid him any mind, fortunately. No wonder there; with most of the older military police officers gone due to the poisoned wine, hardly anyone knew his face. As much as he regretted his past actions, he was grateful for the safety they brought him now. If it wasn’t for his sorrowful destination, this peaceful and beautiful day would certainly be a good one.

“Who’s that?” he wondered as he saw someone sitting at the grave he was heading to, not that he had to wonder for long. That particular deep shade of black combined with that other shade of red would give the person away to anyone who knew her “Mikasa?”

The woman turned her head, and Nikolo could see the bags under her tired eyes. Not that he could blame her; he was sure lots of people had had sleepless nights recently due to-

He stopped in his tracks. The rumbling… if Mikasa was here, then that meant it must be over, regardless of the outcome.

Nikolo looked around quickly, but while there were other people around, he knew none of them. He saw no Levi Squad, no Commander Hanji, no Onyankopon or Yelena, nor the warriors or…

…Or Eren Yeager.

What did all that mean? Why only Mikasa? If they managed to stop the rumbling, surely there’d be at least some other survivors alongside her. And if not, even if Eren had won, surely at least one or two people along with the younger Ackerman would’ve escaped, right? Where was everyone else?!

“Hello, Nikolo” the woman said, and then, like she didn’t have anything more to say, turned back to face the grave. Nikolo stood there in silence for quite a while, his grip hard on the flowers he’d brought, not sure what to ask, where to start. In the end, he went straight to the point: “Where are Jean and the others?”

He wanted to ask how was the rest of the world, but that felt too insensitive. Friends first.

“Most likely still in Marley; they’re trying to clear the air there, I think”

That answered both what he had asked and what he hadn’t asked. If air needed to be cleared, that meant there were still people left out there who to clear with it. They’d managed to stop the rumbling before it destroyed the whole world. It was happy news and, briefly, Nikolo wondered if any of his family or friends outside the island had survived. He knew he shouldn’t get his hopes up, but surely, there was a chance-

“We lost Commander Hanji, though” Mikasa spoke “She fought to buy us time to chase after Eren and fell in battle.”

“Oh” unlike Onyankopon, Nikolo had not been close with the woman, in fact she kind of creeped him out, but her passing did hit him “I’m sorry to hear that…”

He had to ask, just in case.

“What about everyone else? Are they alright?”

“Eren is dead”

The words came immediately, just a stone-cold fact. Nikolo’s first reaction was the feeling of relief, but remembering who the information came from, it was followed by the feeling of guilt. He didn’t know Mikasa and Eren well, hadn’t known Eren well, and wasn’t close with them, but he wasn’t blind. It had quicky become clear to him just how close to each other the two were.

“I’m sorry to hear that” and he was, though he felt far sorrier for Mikasa than Eren himself. He felt sorry for Armin, too, wherever he was, knowing he’d been close with the guy, too. And he felt sorry for Jean; as much as the man complained about Eren, Nikolo would’ve have to have been a fool to not notice how fond his friend had been of the man.

Mikasa didn’t say anything to that, didn’t even show any sign that she heard him. Nikolo fiddled with the flowers in his hands, not sure if it’d be proper of him to approach Sasha’s grave now with Mikasa there. Should he come back later?

“Does it get easier?”

The question is sudden, and it takes a while for Nikolo to realize that it’s directed at him. He’s about to ask Mikasa what she means, but as his gaze meets hers, she’s looking at him over her shoulder again, he realizes that, somehow, he understands.

“…I don’t know” he replies honestly. Now, it feels natural to approach to lay down the flowers, so he does just that, crouching down in front of the grave “Maybe it will, eventually. Life keeps going, as will we along with it.”

Or at least, so Nikolo hoped. Mikasa had not lost her will to live along with Eren, had she?

…If she had, she probably wouldn’t have come all the way here.

“When Trost fell, Armin saw Eren get eaten. We thought he was dead” Mikasa broke the silence that threatened to fall. Nikolo recalled hearing about this from Sasha before, but he didn’t comment on it. He waited to hear what Mikasa had to say “For a moment, I lost myself for it. I couldn’t think straight during battle and gave others trouble. I ran out of gas, fell off the roofs and hit the ground. A titan was approaching, and I was ready to give up. And yet…”

Mikasa quieted down. Patiently, not in a hurry to go anywhere, Nikolo waited for her to continue.

“Had I died there, I wouldn’t have been able to relive through the memories of him” she finally says “He lives on in my memories. As long as he’s not forgotten, he’s not really gone.”

It was a comforting thought.

“I see” Nikolo said “Perhaps that is why people mark graves and visit them.”

“Maybe”

They stay there for a long time, ignoring the world around them, neither speaking a word. At one point, Nikolo sits down instead of crouching, but aside from that, they don’t move. The sun is already setting by the time Nikolo decides to speak up again.

“I should head back; I told the others I’d visit Sasha’s grave, but it’s getting late”

“Are you staying with her family?”

“Yeah”

It’s not like he had anywhere else to go.

Nor did he have anywhere else where he’d want to be, either.

“Where will you go now?”

“…I hadn’t thought about it” Mikasa confesses “Perhaps I’ll search for Historia and inform her of what has happened.”

That was probably wise; the queen should know the situation. But-

“Do you know where to look?”

Silence. Nikolo takes that as a no.

“It’s getting late” he says, standing up “You must be tired as well. Let’s head to Dauper, and after some rest, we can figure out how you’ll find the queen.”

Nikolo held out his hand for Mikasa to take, wondering if he was overstepping a line in telling her what to do, but she seemed just so… lost. And he knew a lot about that, about not having any direction in life.

He was surprised when the woman actually did take his hand.

“Right” Mikasa agreed. Nikolo pulled her up and, wordlessly, they were on their way.

Nikolo couldn’t help but wonder what Sasha would have done, what she would have said, to comfort Mikasa. Perhaps it’d take years before he stopped wondering what Sasha would’ve done in any situation, or perhaps he’d never stop. But then again, maybe that was a part of keeping her memory alive. That, at least, was something he could do.

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