✟ ˚ ｡⋆ ๋࣭ And I Swear . . . ( +📜 )

☆ ･ ˖ but if you're too drunk to drive . . .

like the moodboard? it's a teaser for an upcoming fanfic! make sure u follow me and stay tuned! thank you, bye!! <33

lv. in the shadows

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CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE ─ in the shadows.

❛ oh this place is the same as it ever was but you don't like it ❜

Narrator's Perspective

The members of Eclipse sat around a small coffee table on mismatched couches and chairs in Inhyuk's humble abode. The walls stained with water leakages and chipping paint were filled with posters and random picture frames. A white electric fan was plugged in in one corner of the room filled the place with a constant whirring sound that cut through their silence. All of them knew what there was to discuss. They were just waiting for someone to bring it up.

Their equipment- drums, guitars, a piano and mics, crowded the tiny room that seemed too small with the four of them there. When they had the Jagam School Music Club to practice, things were different. But now that they used their own practice space, their dream of being a famous band seemed unrealistic and childish. Everyone was this close to calling it quits, yet none of them had the heart to voice their concerns. So Sunjae, Inhyuk, Taesung and Jay sat in silence, staring at the instruments longingly.

"I don't think I'll be able to stay till the university festival," Inhyuk spoke at last, "I'm not able to pay rent here, and my parents are calling me back to my village. I'm also going to have to drop out of college. I'm really sorry guys."

"I've also been thinking of calling it quits," Taesung said, placing a hand on his guitar, "It all seems a little pointless now."

His joy for playing the guitar had diminished after everything that went down with Yumi. While teaching Yumi, he had hit a high point in his life. It felt amazing to pass on his skill to someone he cared so much about. After the accident, the guitar seemed almost heavy in his arms, like a burden he had to carry along with the guilt of hurting Yumi. The scar on his face was a constant reminder of his mistake.

"If you all are leaving..." Jay couldn't get himself to finish his sentence.

Sunjae stood up in disbelief, "So, that's it?" he asked, frowning, "You're all just going to sulk and give up because a few things didn't go your way? Is that all this meant to you? Come on, we're better than this!"

"You don't get it, Sunjae," Inhyuk said wearily, "It's not going to work. In fact it's not been working for a while now. We just need to accept it now"

💿

"What was so important that we had to meet like this?" Taesung asked, staring down at the cracked pavement beneath his sneakers. His voice carried a mix of irritation and curiosity. "It feels like I'm doing a drug deal."

The sun hung mercilessly in the afternoon sky, its rays sharp and unrelenting. The heat wrapped around him like an unwelcome second skin, and sweat clung to his brow before trickling down the side of his face. The neighborhood was eerily quiet—no kids playing, no distant hum of lawnmowers—just the oppressive weight of midsummer silence. Most people had wisely chosen to stay indoors, leaving the two of them alone on the deserted street.

"Oh, and you'd know how a drug deal works?" Eunyoung quipped, folding her arms across her chest. Her voice had the usual teasing edge, but it was undercut by an unusual tension. She had something important to say—something that had been eating at her—but now that she was here, face-to-face with Taesung, she found herself second-guessing her decision. Could she really trust him with this?

"What did you want to ask me?" Taesung pressed, letting her taunt roll off him like water off a duck's back. He was used to her jabs by now; they were as routine as the rising sun. He sighed, his gaze flickering up to meet hers. "You didn't drag me out here just to be annoying, right?"

"Well..." Eunyoung hesitated, her eyes darting away. Her fingers fidgeted with the hem of her shirt as she tried to gather her thoughts. "Your dad is a cop, right?"

"Yeah," Taesung replied, his brow furrowing slightly. His voice carried a note of suspicion now. "Why?"

"How do I know?" Eunyoung echoed his unspoken question, as though anticipating it. "Yumi told me," she said simply, as if that explained everything.

"Of course she did," he muttered under his breath, shaking his head.

"When are you going to man up and tell her how you feel?" Eunyoung asked abruptly, her tone sharp and cutting through the heavy air. She leaned closer, her expression equal parts exasperation and challenge. It was a question she'd been holding back for too long, but her patience had finally worn thin. Ever since the accident, Taesung's feelings for Yumi had been impossible to ignore. They hovered around him like a shadow, obvious to everyone but him. "How long am I supposed to act like I don't see what's going on?"

Taesung froze, caught off guard. His ears turned a vivid shade of red, and he stammered, "Is that what you wanted to ask me?"

"This discussion isn't over," Eunyoung warned, narrowing her eyes. "But no, that's not why I asked you here." She straightened, her playful tone replaced by something heavier.

"You mentioned my dad," Taesung reminded her, seizing the opportunity to steer the conversation away from the uncomfortable subject of Yumi. "What about him?"

"Right," Eunyoung said, exhaling a shaky breath. She rubbed the back of her neck, avoiding his gaze. "I... know someone who's been involved in some crimes, and I need someone trustworthy to help catch them."

"There's no one better than my dad for that," Taesung said, his tone even. It was clear he wasn't saying it out of admiration, just cold fact. "What kind of crimes?"

"Oh, you know..." Eunyoung mumbled, glancing at the ground as though it might provide her an escape. "Money laundering, gambling... that sort of thing."

"What?!" Taesung's eyes widened in shock. His voice pitched up, the incredulity plain on his face. "What's any of that got to do with you?"

Eunyoung hesitated again, her fingers twisting together. The truth hovered on the tip of her tongue, but she swallowed it down. "I'm not sure I should say," she murmured, doubt flickering across her face.

"It's fine," Taesung said gently. His voice softened, as though sensing her unease. "I'm not going to tell anyone."

Eunyoung took a deep breath, bracing herself. "It's my dad," she confessed quietly, the words heavy in the summer air. "My dad's the criminal."

Taesung froze, his expression shifting from surprise to something deeper—shock mixed with disbelief. His mouth opened as if to respond, but no words came out. What was there to say to a revelation like that?

"He came to see me the other day," Eunyoung continued, her voice steady despite the knot tightening in her chest. She couldn't tell him the truth—that she knew about her father because she was from the future. Instead, she stuck to the story she'd prepared. "He told me everything. He wanted me to convince my mom to lend him some money, but I refused and walked away."

For a long moment, Taesung said nothing. Then he nodded slowly, his expression unreadable. "I can get you in touch with my father," he said quietly. "He'll know what to do."

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: someone send help-

delphi's notes: shit's bout to go down

xxii. you and me and awkward silence

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CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO ─ you and me and awkward silence.

❛ don't you notice how i get quiet when there's no one else around? ❜

Narrator's Perspective

"Why are you all standing like that?" Taesung asked his friends who stood on the other side of the safety door of his house.

Taesung's birthday had arrived at last, and his friends' plan of throwing him a surprise party had fallen into place. Yumi stood at the front- against her will, for Inhyuk had pushed her ahead while everyone fumbled. The Eclipse members and Sunjae held balloons in their hands, and Yumi held the box containing the cake and a small paper bag.

All she could do was stare at his face as he repeated his question impatiently. Realising Yumi wasn't responding, Inhyuk jumped in and exclaimed, "Happy birthday! Did you think we'd forget?!"

A slow smile appeared on Taesung's face as he chuckled in disbelief. His hand reached for the doorknob, which he pushed open. The party was not a large one- the members of Eclipse, Sunjae and Yumi, but it was a meaningful one. They entered his house one by one, as Taesung stepped aside to make way. While everyone else dispersed, putting up the balloons, Yumi stood frozen before him, staring blankly, "Happy birthday," she uttered quietly.

Taesung stood motionless for a brief moment, admiring the girl in front of him. Her voice sounded like music in his ears. His eyes remained fixed on her, unable to pull away. She was dressed in a baby blue dress that hovered above her knees. The dress was sleeveless, drawing attention to her graceful arms, and it boasted a sweetheart neckline that framed her collarbone beautifully.

"Thanks," he smiled, "I'm glad you're here, piano girl."

There it was again. That nickname. Yumi thought to herself, clearing her throat. It took all the willpower in her not to misinterpret his words. What did he really mean? Plus it was really hard to focus with him standing right in front of her. She couldn't bring herself to look away from him. He was dressed in a simple monochromatic outfit- black jeans and a plain white t-shirt, and it was evident that he wasn't expecting company. Yet, there she was, staring. She moved past him, placing the cake on the coffee table in front of the couch.

"Is that for me?" he snapped her out of her thoughts, gesturing to the bag dangling from her wrist. 

"Huh?" she blurted out, "Oh, right! I got you a little something."

"What is it?" he asked as he peeked into the bag after she handed it to him. 

"Look at it later!" she spoke more urgently than she intended to. Taesung's face twisted into a confused frown, setting the bag aside for time being. His suspicion was evident through his expression, and Yumi realized that she had pretty much shot herself in the foot. A blush surfaced on her face from embarassment as she moved to where everyone else was standing.

Why am I even here? She wondered. She barely knew these people. Yet a part of her wanted to be there for him. How heartbreaking was it that his parents couldn't be there for their only son's birthday? Yumi wondered if what she felt for him was pity or something more? Yumi pushed the thought away, refusing to explore it further. It was too terrifying, too soon. She prayed she'd never have to confront those feelings.

Choi Yumi's Perspective

It was as if  I had zoned out for the entire duration of the party. I think this was my fatal flaw. I spent to much time thinking. I never took action. I just sat and thought. And thought. And thought some more until even I was afraid of my thoughts. Before I knew it, everyone had left, leaving me alone with Taesung. The thought made me want to dig a hole in the ground and bury my head in it. I told myself that since I was the only one there, I should help clean up the mess. Yet, in the back of my mind, I knew that every moment spent with him was special.

"You don't have to stay," he remarked, breaking the awkward silence that previously filled the room, "It's getting late."

"Are you kicking me out?" I asked with a hint of hostility in my voice, "I want to help."

"Who am I to argue with you?" asked to no one in particular.

We worked in silence, neither of us knowing how to start another conversation. I realised what a horrifying thing it was to be alone with my thoughts- especially with him around. Why was I behaving like this? It's not like I'm a teenage girl- I mean, I am, but I'm not at the same time. Half of me wished I could go back to my time and everything would be normal. I would be working at a miserable law firm, just like I studied for; But there was another part of me that kept stealing glances at Taesung as we picked up the trash from the wooden floors. 

What the hell is wrong with me?!

After we finished picking up the confetti and remains of the balloons (that had been popped by our small yet lively party), we stood in the living room, which had now become devoid of any evidence that it was full of liveliness a while ago.  My gaze wandered around the room and I stood completely still as if my feet were rooted to the ground. My eyes finally fixed on the green guitar placed against the wall. It was as if I was hypnotized by it as I took an unconscious step towards it.

"Do you like it?" he asked, as I tore my eyes away.

"What?"

"Do you like the guitar?" he repeated himself, the corners of his lips tugging at a smile. 

"Ummm," I stuttered, "I... I guess so? It's a nice guitar."

"Do you play?"

"No."

"Do you want to?"

I suddenly found myself unable to answer his seemingly simple question. I froze there, my stubborn voice refusing to speak. The truth is, that I felt drawn to the guitar. It was something new and exciting. I took another look at it; It was as if it had been calling my name this whole time.

"I can teach you if you like," he offered, and I thought he might have observed the manner in which I was staring at his guitar.

"Right now?" I said with too much enthusiasm. I bit my lip- was it too much?

"I mean, if you really want to," he stammered out, taken aback by my sudden display of eagerness.

I glanced at the clock, "It's already 9 o' clock," I observed.

"You're right. I should let you go home," he realized, "We can meet after music club practice tomorrow. If that's okay with you?"

"But it closes at 5," I frowned, "Where will we go?"

He thought about it for a brief moment, "How 'bout you come here?" I felt heat rise up my cheeks, "Here?" I asked, trying to figure out if I misheard him.

"My dad is usually not at home, so we won't have any disturbance," he explained.

"Sure," I agreed, trying my best to sound nonchalant.

It was almost as if I was breathless. What do I call this feeling?

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: the tension between yumi and the guitar-

delphi's notes: something is brewing...

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

𝐢. 𝗇𝖺𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗀'𝗌 𝗌𝗄𝗂𝗇𝖼𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗀𝗎𝗂𝖽𝖾!

disclamer! these tips are all from experience, they've been tried and tested by yours truly. please note that i am not a skin specialist, and if you have any major skin concerns, visit a dermatologist! always remember that you are beautiful just the way you are, and these tips are aiming to help you achieve a healthier overall lifestyle.

i. skin types: everyone's skin is different! so, the first and most important step is to find out what kind of skin you have. is it oily? is it often dry? is it sensitive to certain products? determining your skin type will aid you in finding products that work for you, making it a crucial step.

ii. drink more water: i know, you've heard it a million times! but i cannot emphasise how important it is to drink water! not just for your skin, but it benefits your overall health and well-being. dehydration can cause dryness, and oiliness- which can lead to heat boils and breakouts. drinking 2-3 litres of water every day can clear up your skin significantly!

iii. avoid oily and fried foods: health begins on the inside, so we must nourish our skin the same way! oily foods can clog your pores, and make your skin greasy. in general, processed and fried food is bad for your health as it is full of preservatives and artificial flavouring. although it is important to treat yourself from time to time, avoid eating these on a daily basis.

iv. stop touching your face: i understand how hard this might be for some of you because we end up subconsciously touching our face from time to time, but not touching your face is a crucial habit and you must train yourself to reduce the number of times you touch your face. touching your face with unwashed hands makes your skin oily and dirty. song jia revealed she only touches her face while applying basic skincare or washing her face. it seems impossible, but you can do it!

v. apply sunscreen daily: no matter what, you must include sunscreen in your skincare routine. regardless of the weather, it's important since the uv rays from the sun harm your skin, and pollutants in the air (especially in the city) can damage your skin significantly. i use neutrogena and it's super lightweight and gives your skin a glowy and clean look.

vi. weather matters: weather conditions play a big role in determining which skincare products you should be using. for example- if you live near the sea coast, you might not need to moisturise due to severe humidity, but if you live in a cold and dry country, a heavy moisturiser might be advisable! if you are interested in skincare tips for people living in tropical countries- comment!

vii. facewash usage: again, it depends on where you live. i personally live near the coast, so i end up washing my face thrice a day due to constant sweating. during winter, take a call on whether you need to use a facewash in the mornings. over-cleansing can strip your skin of natural oils, which does more harm than good. if the climate where you live is not too severe, i would recommend washing your face twice a day.

nayoung's note: hope these tips helped you! feel free to let me know how they worked in the comments.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE ─ expect the unexpected.

❛ and it feels like the start of a movie i've seen before, but you're not here ❜

Ryu Sunjae's Perspective

I practically ran down the stairs, my heartbeat drumming on inside my chest as I felt a new kind of giddy excitement to meet Eunyoung. I had always felt incredibly happy at the thought of her, but this was different. With all that had happened yesterday, it felt like all the puzzle pieces fit perfectly and we were together at last. Everything in my life seemed to lead me here, to Eunyoung.

To my disappointment, on descending the last stair, instead of seeing Eunyoung's smiling face greet me, I saw her sister, Yumi waiting impatiently. Before I could speak, she turned around suddenly, making me jump a little. She was glaring at me with a kind of resentment and disgust that made me feel sick. I took a step back, cowering before her.

"You know, I wanted to be happy about you and Eunyoung," she said menacingly, "But now I'm thinking that you're all kinds of trouble."

"What did I do?" I asked, furrowing my brows in confusion.

"Last night, you guys must have had your rom-com moment in the rain," she started, "But now Eunyoung is lying in bed with a 100 degree fever."

"What?!" I yelled way too loudly, my eyes widening and my heartbeat quickening, "Eunyoung is sick?!" It made me mad. Guilt seemed to be gnawing at my heart as I realized it was my fault. Before I could get a response from Yumi, whose rage had been replaced by surprise at my exaggerated reaction, I began running to Eunyoung's front door.

"I wouldn't go in if I were you," Yumi said. I stopped in my tracks. She continued, "Mom's been up all night taking care of her and her opinion of you is not exactly favorable."

Narrator's Perspective

By the time Sunjae and Yumi had reached school, there was a strange awkwardness between them since Eunyoung wasn't there to play the mutual friend. But when Yumi considered the situation in her mind and concluded that it would be a lot worse if Eunyoung had been with them, because then it would have been Yumi third wheeling with a couple who was so obnoxiously sweet she would have vomited. So, she sat there with Sunjae, feeling grateful for the awkward air that had settled between them.

"So, are you in the school play?" Sunjae asked her out of politeness. He had begun to get a little restless because of the silence. He had imagined his bus ride to college a lot differently. He thought it would be romantic with Eunyoung next to him. But instead he was forced to deal with Yumi; He knew by instinct that she was just tolerating him because of Eunyoung, and honestly he felt the same way.

"No, I'm not," she said without looking at him, "I don't even want to get into all this festival nonsense. I'm the last person to do a thing like a school play. And they chose a Shakespeare play? Forget it."

You ask a simple question... Sunjae sighed internally, "I just thought you would audition- you know, since your boyfriend is in the play."

I guess Eunyoung hasn't told him... This made Yumi feel a little at peace; The fact that Eunyoung was guarding her secret well was a comforting thought.

"Do I seem like the kind of person to humiliate myself on stage because my boyfriend i decided to do it?" she asked formidably.

"I guess not," Sunjae said, giving up on making pleasantries, "I gotta go anyways." He practically ran away from her.

💿

The auditorium was filled with playful banter and friendly conversations. The cast of the Shakespearean play As You Like It that had been casted so far were gathered there for the very first practice. The actors crowded the stage, discussing their roles and reading their scripts. The director and writers responsible for translating the play into Korean occupied a table with various sheets of paper stacked and a microphone to maintain some order.

"Excuse me ! Everybody! May I have your attention please?" asked the girl who was given the role of director. The chaos settled down, slowly but surely, "Thank you. Is everybody here? Or is someone missing?"

"Eunyoung isn't here," Sunjae answered promptly. His comment was followed with some girls eyeing him and whispering among themselves.

"Oh my gosh!"

"Do they like each other or what?"

"I swear there's something going on since the field trip!"

Sunjae wondered if he was being too obvious but chose to ignore the gossip.

"What's her character?" asked the director, looking down at her list of participants.

"Rosalind," he answered. He could hear more whispers.

"Rosalind?!" she repeated, taken aback, "Our Rosalind is absent? Why on earth would she miss the first rehearsal?"

"Uh, she's down with fever!" Sunjae told her, "Pretty bad, actually- hundred degrees. Her sister told me." He ignored the giggling that followed his rather enthusiastic answer.

"Oh, dear," said the director a little calmer than before, "Well, tell her to take care, then. And tell her that absenteeism will not be tolerated except for health related reasons. I'll let her off the hook this one time."

Sunjae heaved a sigh of relief. The writer sitting next to the director whispered something in her ear. Her eyes went wide, "She's one of the writers too? That is... unfortunate."

"Could you be any more obvious?" Taesung sneered.

"Shut up," he snapped, "At least she's in the play."

"Ouch," Taesung said defensively, "Damn, Sunjae didn't think you were stingy like that."

"By the way," began the director, addressing Sunjae, "What's your character?"

"Orlando," he answered plainly.

"Good," the director smiled. The students began hooting and screaming with excitement.

"Okay, settle down," said the writer. He took the microphone from the director, "We don't have an actress for the role of Celia. Does anyone have any suggestions? Anybody wishing to audition?"

A lightbulb suddenly lit up in Taesung's head, "I know someone who could play the role."

"Do they have a name?"

"Uh, yes," he answered, the palms of his hands feeling sweaty, "Choi Yumi from the Practical Music Department." Once again, people began ooh-ing and ahh-ing. 

"Bring her to rehearsal tomorrow to audition," said the writer in a matter-of-fact tone. Taesung smiled ever so slightly. Now he would get to spend some time with her...

"Okay, so since we don't have Rosalind or Celia, we can start with act one, scene one..."

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: yumi is literally ready to fight sunjae

delphi's notes: don't mess with yumi

xxxvii. home is where the heart is

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN ─ home is where the heart is.

❛ i know it's always about me, i love you, i'm sorry ❜

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

Every cell in my body seemed to be screaming at me to run. To go back home. But, somehow I felt like my feet were rooted to the ground as I stood in the deserted playground. A tall streetlight peered over the area, which was the only source of illumination on that moonless night. The stars had disappeared from the sky, as if to express their disapproval at my irrational decision. I wasn't able to control myself. I had let my curiosity get the better of me, and I had showed up at the spot my father decided would be our meeting spot.

I wanted to believe so badly that he had changed. That he was trying to set things right. There was a part of me that wanted to meet him and tell him that I missed him. And that if he wanted to come back, I would let him. I wanted to believe that I was worthy, and maybe I could finally have a proper family in the stereotypical way. I had spent my entire life watching kids get treated with love and care by their fathers, and not once had I experienced such a bond.

Then, I spotted him. His face had weathered and become worn due to time, but it was undoubtedly him. Chiseled, sharp features with curly, messy hair that hung around his eyes. His previously clean shaven face had now grown a beard. He flashed a smile, approaching me and siting down on the bench next where I was standing.

"You've grown up so well," he whispered.

The pride in his voice made my heart swell with a strange kind of warmth. "Mom did a good job, huh?"

"That, she did," he agreed, the weary smile on his face never ceasing. It was then that I noticed the bags under his eyes.

"You seem tired," I observed, worried.

"It's nothing," he said rather abruptly. The smile suddenly fell from his face and his blinking gaze wandered, pretending to scan their surroundings. I found his sudden shift in behavior quite strange, and a confused frown formed on my face. He turned to me again, but didn't look in my eyes.

"Eunyoung, actually," He began, rubbing his hands against each other, thinking of what to say.

"What is it?"

"I have a favor to ask you," he mumbled out, but Eunyoung heard his voice sound loud and clear, ringing in her ears, "I'm actually in a lot of debt right now. I can barely afford my rent, and everything is falling apart. If you could just talk to your mother and convince her-"

"Stop!" I cried out, my voice shaking with rage and disappointment. My eyes burned with tears and I had to gather all my strength to speak, "Just- just, shut up. I should have known. Why else would you come back? Have you ever stopped to think how much damage you caused? You can't just waltz back into our life and expect that we'll welcome you with open arms. I was the idiot to believe anything you said. Just, get lost, I swear!"

"But Eunyoung, we're family?"

"Family?" I repeated, my voice trembling, as tears began spilling out of my eyes, "You don't get to call me or mom your family. You lost that privilege the moment you packed your bags and left home."

He opened his mouth to spit out another pathetic excuse, but I had finally had enough. I bolted out of there, mustering all the willingness inside me to get away from him. The tears spilled out uncontrollably, blurring my vision as my legs propelled me forward in the direction of home.

 💿

Even as I reached Sunjae's dad's restaurant, I couldn't stop crying. All my hopes had been shattered by my father's careless words and demeanor. I heaved another heavy sob, that choked up my throat and made my heart ache with uncontrollable sorrow. 

Instead of going home, I went the opposite way, stopping near a wall where I was sure no one I know could find me. My knees feeling suddenly weak and wobbly, I sat down right on the pavement and buried my head in my knees. I felt my tears soak my pants but none of that mattered then. My weeping sounded too loud in the deserted alleyway as I started to feel physical pain too. I couldn't believe I had been naive enough to fall into such a trap. Even after my mother warned me...

"Eunyoung?" the oh-so-familiar voice sent a jolt through my body as I raised my head slowly, trying to make sure I heard correctly. I was right. There I was, face to face with a concerned Sunjae looking at me with furrowed brows and glassy eyes full of worry and confusion. I suddenly felt embarrassed; Ashamed that he had to see me like this- falling apart. I stood up hastily, trying to hide my face and blink away my tears.

"Sunjae..." Another sob choked me as the words refused to roll off my tongue. He seemed to understand in that moment. Slowly, he moved towards me and reached out his hand to pull me by the waist into his warm embrace. My tears nearly evaporated as heat crept up my face. My head rested gently on his shoulder as I soaked up all the comfort he gave me. His grip around my waist tightened as I felt his hand caress my head.

Sunjae seemed to have this superpower whenever he was around. All my worries would warp and dissolve into nothingness and my heart would instantly lighten. Every little touch sent sparks flying across my skin, making me feel giddy but at the same time compelling me to give in. Around him, I wasn't afraid to be vulnerable. My trust for him was like an instinct I couldn't fight no matter how much I tried. That was probably why, before I could comprehend what was happening, the moment his caring voice asked, "What's wrong?" I poured my heart out, never letting go of him.

The whole time I spilled my greatest worries out to him, he never let go of my heart. His firm yet gentle grip offered solace I didn't believe anyone could give. 

"Seeing someone as optimistic and cheerful as you cry is heartbreaking, Eunyoung. He doesn't deserve your tears. Focus your energy on those you love. And on those who love you."

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: the way sunjae basically said i love you-

delphi's notes: everyone deserves a sunjae in their lives

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!

˚. ♩ i'm the wind in our free-flowing sails ⁺ . and the liquor in our cocktails ⭒ ֗

here's a hot take: how about you actually study instead of watching gilmore girls?

just know that this is completely self-directed thank you very much

xliv. truths unspoken

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR ─ truths unspoken.

❛ cause i'm not gonna be the one to get hurt ❜

Choi Yumi's Perspective

"Your name's Yumi, right?"

I nearly jumped out of my skin upon hearing an unfamiliar voice call out to me. There was a sense of busyness in the air as all the students got off the train in as little chaos as possible (of course, that didn't mean no chaos). Concerned students who lost their luggage and belongings yelling for help, people taking pictures the moment they exited the train, and I also heard someone say they swallowed mouthwash. 

In this sea of havoc, I look around restlessly, searching for a tall tower surfing through the crowd that was Eunyoung. I didn't want to make any awkward conversation with people from university who I barely remembered. Unlike me, Eunyoung's college experience was quite pleasant from what I remember, so I thought she would be a great help in conversing with these insufferable people.

Even with all this going on, a scruffy-looking guy had managed to approach me with a rather unpleasant grin on his face, as if he was going to make pork chops out of me.

"How do you know me?" I asked, taking a step back, dragging my suitcase along in case he happened to be a theif.

"I know a lot of things," he said smugly, "The name's Minjun. I'm your sunbae."

"What do you want, sunbaenim?" I took another step back, praying for Eunyoung to appear soon.

(note- sunbae or sunbaenim means senior in korean!)

"What do I want?" he repeated slowly, the creepy smirk never leaving his face. I gave him my best scowl, which seemed to throw him off.

"Yes, that's what I asked you," I said, daring to take a menacing step towards him, "Did you understand it or do you want me to spell it out?"

"Let's go-"

"Sunbaenim!" snapped a comforting, familiar voice from behind. I heaved a sigh of relief on seeing Eunyoung's face. She shot him a sarcastic smile, "The rest of your cocky friends are over there, arranging the chairs. So, why don't you do something useful and help them out, hmm? And stay away from my sister before she files a restraining order."

Minjun frowned and turned to leave muttering something offensive under his breath. Eunyoung stood at Yumi's side, rolling her eyes at the boy. "He's got some nerve."

"Never been happier to see you," I said, clinging to her arm.

"That's nice of you."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"I know you didn't, I'm just messing with you."

"I'm just worked up," I groaned quietly, "How do you know the guy anyways?"

"Oh I remember him very well. He was the guy who got kicked out because of a drug scandal, remember?" the moment Eunyoung said that, all the movement around us ceased as time stopped for a brief second before springing into action again.

"I keep forgetting that happens," Eunyoung chuckled.

"Yeah," I returned a smile, feeling lighter than before, "Now that you say that, I do remember Minjun sunbae. He was trying to hit on me before we got onto the train too, but I basically ran away. He was always insufferable, huh? "

"Yup."

While my eyes wandered the landscape mindlessly, I spotted the Eclipse members approaching. For a split second, I found myself locking eyes with Taesung before jerkily looking away, turning to look at the tall pine trees, that had never looked more interesting.

"Hey!" Eunyoung greeted them enthusiastically. I watched as her and Sunjae's eyes locked ever so naturally, as if it was planned out beforehand; and then he shot her a smile, which she returned. Looking at them, it made me wonder whether something like that could ever happen between me and-

"Hi!" said Inhyuk, breaking my train of thoughts, "How was your journey?"

"It was pretty okay," I answered, trying my best to sound nonchalant, avoiding Taesung's gaze entirely.

"I was sleeping for most of it," Eunyoung chimed in.

"Me too," Sunjae beamed. Inhyuk smirked at him knowingly, as if to say "And you spent the rest of your time admiring Eunyoung from afar." Which was probably true.

I found myself giving in to temptation and stealing a glance at Taesung, only to find him already looking, which made my face erupt with heat. I watched his eyes move down my face, looking at my scar- the stubborn thing that refused to go away, then, he quickly shifted his gaze to my eyes. He stared at me silently for a moment before saying, "My journey was okay as well."

"Good to know," I said, stretching my lips into a straight line and nodding awkwardly. I probably looked like an idiot.

💿

After some chitchat with the group, we moved to the tents to unpack. I was glad that the girls majoring in Journalism and Practical Music were in the same tent because I remembered how painfully awkward and weird it was to sleep next to a stranger I barely knew last time.

When I decided to venture out to check out the scenery, I ran into Inhyuk.

"Yumi, hey," he said.

"Oh, hi," I replied, feeling pleasantly surprised, "Thank god, it's you."

"Who'd you think I was?" he asked with an amused chuckle.

"Minjun sunbae," I rolled my eyes, "The field trip hasn't even properly started, but he's already tried to hit on me twice. It's exhausting."

"Damn, that's terrible," he sympathized, "He's such a weirdo. Every time I look at him, the voices inside my head start screaming- FRAT BOY."

I let out a laugh at his attempt to cheer me up, "You're so right!"

"How's your injury?" he asked gently after a few moments.

"It doesn't hurt anymore," I told him, smiling through the pain of remembering the accident, "Just the scar is too prominent for my taste."

"I think it looks cool," he decided.

"You can have it," I chuckled, which he reciprocated.

"Jokes apart," he said, looking serious, "How have you been doing?"

"As okay as I can be," I sighed, looking at the forests surrounding the tents, "It's not exactly a pleasant memory, you know."

"It gets better with time."

We stayed quiet for quite some time. But it was a comfortable silence. One that represented mutual understanding and agreement.

"By the way," he said after a while, "Have you seen Sunjae anywhere?"

"No," I began, "But Eunyoung stepped out before me, so that should answer your question."

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: yumi and taesung have no idea what's coming 👀

delphi's notes: stay tuned ;)

next chapter: friday list of chapters here!

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!

. . . ( 🦴 ) 月が綺麗ですね ⋆ ࣪. ᓚ

soukoku post for pride month!