Believe? It's A Fact.

i hate that elain most likely thinks that lucien is some desperate male that she needs to avoid at all costs, as if it isn't glaringly obvious to most readers that lucien doesn't want the mating bond any more than she does. he's still trying to make it work because that's his gender role in regards to the bond and that's just who he is, but he's more than aware that elain doesn't want him and he doesn't want her beyond the force of the bond either. he feels like he's being forced into a romance that doesn't exist as much as she does. and no, i don't think elain owes anyone her kindness and time, but it's super inconvenient and hurtful to lucien when they're both dealing with the same issue, only lucien is under a stronger effect of the bond. he's having a harder time ignoring the bond than she is, and i bet he envies her for being able to get over it so easily. i bet all he wants is to be able to move on but he literally can't. i feel like a lot of criticisms of elain are rooted in outright misogyny, but if i have to be upset at her for anything, it's for not having a little compassion/understanding for someone going through the same problem as her (i fully expect her to have a thorough conversation to lucien about this in her book, though).

Hopefully this will lift the heavy weight off someone's chest today.

reading vincent van goghs letters and he keeps repeating the same thing.. that i may be of use in the world. he repeats it over and over, in questions, in musings, in desperation. how can i be of use in the world? (the most precious question!) how can i be of use in the world? (how can anyone?) reminds me of that mary oliver quote: to pay attention, this is our endless and proper work. if i were any more insightful i could say something profound here, but i think if we keep focused attention on the question, we may find a way to be of some good. like rilke meant. by loving the questions themselves, we may one day stumble upon the answer.

It is what it is.

Yall really see the words pirates, cowboys, and homoerotic subtext and just smash that reblog huh

south asian fitzwilliam darcy moodboard

"I cannot forget the follies and vices of others so soon as I ought, nor their offences against myself. My good opinion, once lost, is lost forever."

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You will forever own a piece of me that I can never take back

Lesbians in Dark Academia

“It is only in the body of a person whom we have loved deeply for a long time that we don’t perceive the passing of time, and that growing old with that person is a way of never growing old. Seeing someone from day to day has a slow, compassionate rhythm. The people who live at our side always exist in the most immediate time: yesterday, today, tomorrow; and we can’t see this shrunken distances; we don’t see the effects of the passing years. I realize that my wife has aged only when I see old photographs. And not even then, because they were taken in surroundings so different from the present ones and in such ancient clothing that I look at them as if they weren’t of her, as if the portrait represented not my wife but a character similar to her […] Her aging hands, her eyes surrounded wrinkles, and her grey hair don’t surprise or displease me or make me remember the smoothness of her skin and her black hair of a former time. The changes have occurred so slowly and are so intimately tied to my own that neither she nor I has been able to notice them. I think the great miracle of sharing your life is not perceiving the brutal destruction, the annihilation of the body that you love.”

— Josefina Vicens, The Empty Book (trans. David Lauer)

With academic writing... you never know. Did I just wrote the greatest essay of the century? is it a complete bag of poop? did I answer the questions or was I writing about my uncle's toenails for three days straight? You will never know... and so won't I. Because I am caffeinated, I ate too much chocolate and the screen is burned into my brain now. I can see the Time. Magical.

Two years ago I was swimming in the sea in Croatia and I had this thought. It was a very weird feeling, my head was completely clear, I wanted it and I knew that what I see in my head now, is my future. I saw it so clearly and I remember the moment like it was yesterday. Nowadays I'm working to that exact goal, the first part is already in motion, I see it happening, I believe it's happening. It is truly mind-blowing, how we can manipulate the world around us just by focusing our energy, having faith, praying (whatever it means to you) and by reaching a certain level of... vibration, if you wish.

Why do you like pirates so much? WHY DO I LIKE PIRATES SO MUCH?! I'm genuinely curious and also a little scared of my new enthusiasm that came out of nowhere. I thought my pirate phase was finished ten years ago... well, apperently not and I'm a fool. And also, does it link to me uncovering my sexuality or do straight people fantasize about pirates all the fffff- time too? Is it a universal thing that we are all into piratee-stuff?