Happy Shmoo Hunting, Tumblr!

It's hard to study contemporary American cryptids, because they don't have unique names. Instead of fanciful names like "Jersey Devil" or "Sasquatch," most new cryptids don't have distinct names, people just use common words like "woman" or "criminal," even when they're referring to imaginary, non-human beings with supernatural powers.

Pro tip:

Never confuse the Fifth International with the Third Lateran.

Opinions are like assholes: everyone has one.

So, it's kind of gross and disturbing that you're using someone else's.

Gravity Falls doodles!!

@thatonepointbraincell you alone are responsible for fishposts showing up in my feed on their own, every day. I hope you're happy.

If you already know that the game is rigged, then you have ragequit before you ever started playing.

Not telling your kid they have a learning disability, chronic illness, mental illness etc. so they can “feel normal” actually does the opposite. They will not feel normal if they do not have the context to understand that their normal will be different from that of their peers.

rocket man is a better song than space oddity and i will fight you over this

My Dad: "The Melrose [apple tree] also has some massive pups."

Me: " . . . . . "

Me: "Just so you know, you should expect some... weird reactions... if you use the phrase 'has some massive pups' in public."