Explode Your Dick,

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

💎 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗺! Volcanic Ocarina
Wondrous item, rare ___

This stone ocarina is always hot to the touch. When playing it, harmless molten rock spews upward from any uncovered finger hole.

There are three magical melodies that can be played on the ocarina, which each create a different volcanic effect. Once a melody has been played, the ocarina shouldn’t be used to play one of these melodies again until the next dawn. Each time it is used to play such a melody again before then, the ocarina has a cumulative 20 percent chance of not working and dissolving into molten rock in your hands, destroying itself and dealing 5d10 fire damage to you when this occurs.

𝙀𝙧𝙪𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙈𝙚𝙡𝙤𝙙𝙮. When you play this melody, choose four different points on the ground that you can see within 60 feet of you. A pillar of flame bursts upward from each point, provided that the ocarina’s sound can reach it. A creature within 5 feet of each point must make a DC 15 Dexterity saving throw. A creature takes 6d6 fire damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. A creature in the area of more than one of these eruptions is affected only once.

𝙈𝙤𝙡𝙩𝙚𝙣 𝙈𝙚𝙡𝙤𝙙𝙮. When you play this melody, choose a stone or earthen structure that you can see within 60 feet of you. If the sound of the ocarina can reach the structure, it harmlessly dissolves into a pile of molten earth, which immediately cools at the end of the effect. The dissolved area of the structure can be no larger than 10 feet in any dimension.

𝙎𝙚𝙞𝙨𝙢𝙞𝙘 𝙈𝙚𝙡𝙤𝙙𝙮. When you play this melody, choose a point on the ground that you can see within 60 feet of you. The ground then shakes, like an earthquake, in a 20-foot-radius circle that’s centered on that point….

… Continued in the comment below! ___

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Senshi Rose Quartz para el que lo quiera

[/87 In case anyone wasn't aware, this is

googling shit like "why do i feel bad after hanging out with my friends" and all of the answers are either "you need better friends" (i don't; my friends are wonderful) or "your social battery is drained, you need to rest and regain your energy levels" (i don't; i've got tons of energy, it's just manifesting as over-the-top neurotic mania). why is this even happening. it's like some stupid toll i have to pay as a punishment for enjoying myself too much

Rb for a broader net

the funniest character headcanons are feral, homophobic and tax evader i dont accept constructive criticism and you cant change my mind

This is it, i have archieved greatness! I HAVE SENT THE EVIL BOOP!

Because people apparently don't know how here an explanation:

You click and hold on the button (or hover over it) on desktop until the animation with it rotating back and forth has passed three times then you let go and (hopefully, if i explained it well) then you can send a EVIL BOOP

It deals extra damage to human politicians and large or bigger warforged.

Pantheon of Small Gods: The Care Bears (and Care Cousins).

Cleric domain/Paladin oath: depends entirely on which particular Care Bear/Care Cousin the Cleric has devoted themselves to.

Warlock pact: Celestial.  Edritch Blast looks like a Care Bear Stare.