Humans Are Weird

Humans are weird

Periods. I mean from a guys perspective they are hella weird. Why do people have to bleed for a week straight WHILE in so much pain that they barf? I mean are we the only species that do that???

Alien: Human Quinn, where has all our blankets and chocolate gone?

Human: I took them. Oh and the chocolate is gone, I ate it.

Alien: but why have you eaten all of it? That was our chocolate for the week

Human: cause I got my period and I was craving chocolate, oh and the strawberrys

Alien: is that what a period is? Craving food?

Human: no its our bodies way of telling us we're not pregnant, we also bleed for a whole week and usually get quite hungry. Oh yeah, it happens once a month.

Alien: and how would I help you through this?

Human: I don't know just be nice and understanding I guess?

The alien nods and proceeds to buy cake and fuzzy blankets the next day.

More Posts from Ick-aruss and Others

7 months ago
All Our Times Have Come, Here But Now They're Gone
All Our Times Have Come, Here But Now They're Gone

All our times have come, here but now they're gone

2 years ago

Prompt #1

The little kid finally bought a camera to figure out why his closet was always making noises in his sleep

His breath hitched when he saw a figure far from human leave his closet and stand over his bed for hours

but never went back into the closet

2 years ago

what is a glasgow kiss even anyway ?

2 years ago

Please I love these so much

Short Prompt #1096

“Human? Aren’t you coming?” One of the monsters asked, questioning the human they had rescued and invited to their nest. “It will be a cold night.”

“O-Oh, I’ll be fine. No uhm- No need to worry…” Human trailed off, sitting down in the corner of the nest and wrapping a blanket around themself.

A different monster chirped at them, raising their arm and therefore the covers they were lying under. “Come along, Human. You’re more than welcome to join.”

The human was hesitant, but slowly crawled over and settled beside the others. They let out a surprised squeak when one of the monsters pulled them into the middle of the cuddle pile. “Uh… Thank you…”

The monsters purred in unison, the closest one whispering in their ear. “You’re welcome, Human.”


Tags
1 year ago
A Fleeing Situation
A Fleeing Situation
A Fleeing Situation
A Fleeing Situation
A Fleeing Situation
A Fleeing Situation
A Fleeing Situation

A Fleeing Situation

Heheh what a good pun

Pervious

1 year ago
The Silliest

the silliest

2 years ago

I am INVESTED in this story

tw: kidnapping, non-con drugging

The boy skidded to a halt, almost crashing into a tall body lurking in the middle of the street. He fumbled to steady his footing from the brick wall of a man that blocked his way, brows furrowed instantly in annoyance.

The sun was setting beyond the horizon and the sky had gone a dark red, with ashy grey clouds filling the expanse. The mask sitting on the man’s face made the boy initially think this was Mercenary. But when his head tilted down, finally drawing his attention to the smaller boy, he realised it wasn’t.

The child instantly went sheepish and blushed in embarrassment, having made a fool out of himself in front of an odd stranger.

“Sorry, mister,” he grumbled out, staring up at him with unblinking eyes. He was dressed in a similar get up to Mercenary, with the mask and all. Skulking in the shadows until he found what he was looking for...

The child felt uneasy as the man chuckled under his breath, folding his arms across his chest.

“It’s real creepy lurking on the streets,” the boy sniffed as he imitated his stance, puffing out his chest. “Especially with a Halloween costume.”

The masked man cocked his head. “And don’t you think its a little irresponsible to be talking to strangers?”

The child pouted. “I can look after myself! I’m not a kid.”

“That so?” came the dryly amused response. The boy nodded his head firmly; he hated people thinking he was some weak brat. Mercenary did it all the time and it grated profusely on his nerves. Giving the man one final sweep, the child hummed and blinked up at him.

“Are you one of those contract killers?”

The masked man didn’t move. “Yes, I am.”

Oh. The boy wasn’t expecting such a blunt answer. Was he telling him because he thought he was harmless? He scrunched up his nose and narrowed his eyes at him.

“Then can you kill somebody for me?”

The killer shrugged his shoulders, as if in playful exasperation, and reached for his belt. “Sure. After I’ve done this job.”

Pinched between his two fingers was a rectangular card, flashing it towards the boy smoothly. He took it from him, all while giving him a perplexed, yet judgmental stare.

“Contract killers don’t have business cards.”

“This one does,” he responded with a light chuckle. “How else are people meant to find me?”

“But Merce–” The boy caught himself and stumbled to cover his tracks. “–the people on the television shows say it’s just through the right connections.”

The masked man hummed. “You’re old enough to tell fiction apart from reality, aren’t you?”

The child’s expression wrinkled in anger and he sent him a deadly glare. He flipped over the card and glanced at the front, making a note to ask Mercenary about this guy. He seemed illegitimate and wondered if he was any good at his job at all.

“Of course I am, I’m not...” His heart sank to his boots and his words fizzled out on his tongue. His eyes were wide as he stared at the name on the front of the card, a name Mercenary had warned him about, a name he was meant to stay away from.

Stupid.

It was Mercenary’s rival. The rival that was out to kill them both. Along the ground came a bright stream of light, and the sound of a car slowly rolling up the pavement. The boy swallowed the parched lump in his throat and subtly glanced behind him, watching the black car come to a stop.

He bit the inside of his cheek and turned his focus back on the killer, who was already staring at him. The child could almost feel the smirk.

“I have to go...” He whispered shakily. He couldn’t hide the fear in his voice or his body. “I have to go.”

He turned to run, but a strong force yanked him back by the collar of his shirt, sending him crashing onto the hard floor. He scraped his hands and hissed in pain.

“Stay a bit,” the masked man cooed, his haunting steps coming closer by the second. “After all, I did say I had a job to do.”

The child scrambled onto his feet, ready to break off in a run. But he felt huge arms grab him and yank him back into the hard body, pinning him there. He instantly began thrashing frantically, swinging his legs in the air as he was carried back.

“Help!” He screamed, shredding his vocal chords as tears welled in his eyes. “Mercenary, help! He–”

A gloved hand closed around his mouth and nose, cutting him off. His fingers dug into the man’s wrist as he squirmed uselessly, gasping in pain when he felt the smack of hard leather seats beneath his body.

He lashed out with his legs and kicked viciously as the killer climbed in afterwards, shutting the car door behind him. There was something in his hand and the child cried out in fear, hands scrambling at the locked door opposite.

“No–” He wailed, terror flashing in his eyes as a hand wound through his hair and tugged him back. Something sharp pricked at his neck, and the boy tried reaching lazily for the door handle. His vision started swirling and his arm slumped against the seats.

Voices became too hazy to hear, and in a daze, the small child fell deeply unconscious.

9 months ago

just watched i saw the tv glow

[ID: a reaction image of a simply drawn person in a dim room sitting lazily in a chair next to a lamp with a book on the floor by them, they have an exhausted, devastated expression on their face. the trans flag is overlayed over the image.]
6 months ago
Absolutely Lost It Over This Fic By @neuro-psyche So. Have This Comic O(- (
Absolutely Lost It Over This Fic By @neuro-psyche So. Have This Comic O(- (
Absolutely Lost It Over This Fic By @neuro-psyche So. Have This Comic O(- (

absolutely lost it over this fic by @neuro-psyche so. have this comic o(- (

go read it rn if u also love some Good identity reveal fic!!!!

Loading...
End of content
No more pages to load
  • scp4000vs682
    scp4000vs682 liked this · 4 months ago
  • theaceofclubs
    theaceofclubs liked this · 6 months ago
  • noisycollectiveinternet
    noisycollectiveinternet liked this · 6 months ago
  • ramshackle-knight
    ramshackle-knight liked this · 1 year ago
  • hoarder-of-gender
    hoarder-of-gender liked this · 2 years ago
  • milk-andcoofee
    milk-andcoofee liked this · 2 years ago
  • crystaza
    crystaza liked this · 2 years ago
  • lluuaann
    lluuaann liked this · 2 years ago
  • hadesdipheolisk
    hadesdipheolisk liked this · 2 years ago
  • notverysubtleaqi
    notverysubtleaqi liked this · 2 years ago
  • ninjabunny16
    ninjabunny16 liked this · 2 years ago
  • laggyshadow532
    laggyshadow532 liked this · 2 years ago
  • viktornikolaj
    viktornikolaj liked this · 2 years ago
  • shinyyanon
    shinyyanon liked this · 2 years ago
  • ann-grace
    ann-grace liked this · 2 years ago
  • chaoswarfare
    chaoswarfare liked this · 2 years ago
  • inconsistent-person
    inconsistent-person liked this · 2 years ago
  • jennamsinz
    jennamsinz liked this · 2 years ago
  • bimonami
    bimonami liked this · 2 years ago
  • berseid
    berseid liked this · 2 years ago
  • nesstheravenclaw
    nesstheravenclaw liked this · 2 years ago
  • holycolordreamertree
    holycolordreamertree liked this · 2 years ago
  • tuonelanjoutsen
    tuonelanjoutsen liked this · 2 years ago
  • mitsuho
    mitsuho liked this · 2 years ago
  • sumiko808
    sumiko808 liked this · 2 years ago
  • azrael08
    azrael08 liked this · 2 years ago
  • p214ven
    p214ven liked this · 2 years ago
  • mtrixxi
    mtrixxi liked this · 2 years ago
  • justanothermultifandomarmygirl
    justanothermultifandomarmygirl liked this · 2 years ago
  • kaseiry
    kaseiry liked this · 2 years ago
  • rhythmicmirage11
    rhythmicmirage11 liked this · 2 years ago
  • blackbloodeddemon
    blackbloodeddemon liked this · 2 years ago
  • lovelylilbadone
    lovelylilbadone liked this · 2 years ago
  • aleciambored
    aleciambored liked this · 2 years ago
  • donutpenny
    donutpenny liked this · 2 years ago
  • random-human-or-am-i
    random-human-or-am-i liked this · 2 years ago
  • tinywolf309
    tinywolf309 liked this · 2 years ago
  • moon-of-agrotera
    moon-of-agrotera reblogged this · 2 years ago
  • tricky-soul13
    tricky-soul13 liked this · 2 years ago
  • monkeydsady
    monkeydsady reblogged this · 2 years ago
  • monkeydsady
    monkeydsady liked this · 2 years ago
  • lady-death-mood
    lady-death-mood liked this · 2 years ago
  • timberpen
    timberpen liked this · 2 years ago
  • salty-beetle
    salty-beetle liked this · 2 years ago
  • seb-cheneb
    seb-cheneb reblogged this · 2 years ago
  • seb-cheneb
    seb-cheneb liked this · 2 years ago
  • arcan-noxx
    arcan-noxx liked this · 2 years ago
  • 19hazelnuts
    19hazelnuts liked this · 2 years ago
ick-aruss - My username isn't a pun-
My username isn't a pun-

Icarus he/him

299 posts

Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags