Being Around Other Young Women (certain Ones At Least), I’ve Noticed That They Always Want Me To Dissect

Being around other young women (certain ones at least), I’ve noticed that they always want me to dissect myself alongside themselves. We can be in the public restroom, washing our hands, and all of a sudden she’s looking at herself intently. She touches her eyes, her nose, her lips…Then she proceeds to ask me, “What do you think is your best feature?”

I always thought this was a weird question, and insulting if closely examined. To them, I can’t like my physical self as a unified state. I can’t exactly be a “whole” being if I’m picking myself apart that way. Most of what I look like can’t be changed outside of diet and exercise. No, a lot of the women that do this want me to wallow in the self-defeatist mindset of not being attractive enough, specifically heterosexual women with an obsession with men. I don’t exactly have what are considered petite features by western standards either, so being forced to put myself under a mental knife is distracting for my personal growth. I spent too much time worrying about being ugly to people who perceive themselves to be better than me in looks either way, but are severely diminished in personality. Even worse, I wasted time feeling ugly to men I wasn’t even remotely attracted to. I was taught that they’d treat you better if you appealed to them visually. How sinister is that?

I think it’s weird how adamant they are about me changing my appearance. What happened to being beautiful in my own way? Beauty isn’t all about the conventional. I find spiritually beauty far more enlightening then what they’re trying to get me to follow. When I stopped slicing myself into the “best pieces”, my mental fog started to clear and I realized I was around distracting people. They want me to focus on what I think about myself when they already think I’m not worth a damn in the looks department anyway. They ask to confirm if you have too much confidence. Heck, even when I said I thought I was beautiful all around, she came back at me with a very condescending, “So much confidence…” lol almost like it offended her for me to like myself. That’s the dark side of people like that. They reflect their insecurities onto you and desire for you to feel bad. When you feel “ugly” you stop taking care of yourself. You don’t bathe, you don’t eat right, and you may even become a doormat since they’ve made you believe that you’re appearance is worth more than mental growth. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror for a long time because of this damaged mindset. Not even the brush my teeth. When you’re naturally aligned with yourself and are not overly attached to the physical, as I’ve started to learn, you start to naturally de-age yourself and live longer, and I emphasize the live part. I stopped poisoning myself with certain skin-care and dietary habits (which were largely meant for self-destruction) and what do you know, my body matched what was going on internally. I look and feel more alive than ever. When I stopped being a zombie, I stopped looking like one with the sunken eyes and disheveled clothes. No, males don’t talk to me on a large-scale, and some may see that as a measure of “low-worth” for a woman. I see it as a plus if some males fear talking to a woman. It’s about your energy. Plenty of women talk to me just fine and enjoy my company, so I don’t think it’s my personality lol. When you’re a woman who stops caring about what the moids and fem-bots think, you become almost monstrous and “ugly” in their eyes, regardless of your beauty. You’re inconceivable.