YEAH WE NEED SOME FEMALE FOOTBALL PLAYERS!!

I should learn to read urls

Life Before The Internet

Many people born after 1990 don’t remember a world before Internet. Here are a few things you may not realize about life in those days:

Phone numbers had to be looked up in a giant book.

Clowns weren’t considered scary. This is just the result of an early meme.

There were no llamas. The llama is a result of special global internet-coordinated breeding programs.

If you wanted to move something from one computer to another, you had to put it on a disk, which only held 0.2 MB maximum.

There were no unique television stations, all TV came through as a single broadcast, and there was no choice of what to watch at any time.

Most movies did not have sound. The few that did had to sync up the audio from a record player, and it often went out of sync very quickly, leading to sometimes hilarious results.

There were no phone poles, these are exclusive to the internet. The invention of the internet and the subsequent installation of these poles and wires gave birds a new place to rest, allowing them to migrate farther than ever before. Prior to 1990, birds could only migrate a few blocks.

Lightning wasn’t deadly, nor did it produce thunder. Only with the air electrified from so much internet did lightning gain deadly strength and become audible from afar. Back in the 80s, playwright Samuel Beckett spoke of lightning as causing a gentle tingling sensation. Many people would stand out in the rain just to feel it.

Cars didn’t have wheels. The wheel is a fairly recent invention, which could only come into being with science advanced by the worldwide web. Cars before wheels were odd contraptions which did not move, yet people still spent hours and hours sitting in them, expecting to get somewhere in the hope that one day, the wheel would be invented. Many people still practice sitting motionless in their car for hours and hours, mostly in Los Angeles.

We didn’t have snot. Nobody knows if the internet caused us to secrete mucus, but there are no records of it prior to the invention of internet.

The story of my life

in school/at work: can’t cope because it’s all too much, too many things craving attention, longing for some sweet alone time without school/work: can’t cope because no schedule, also Boredom™, if i spend one more minute alone doing nothing i’ll lose it

I don't have enough underwear sooooo...

I own way more underwear than I actually wear, so basically, I under wear my underwear.

YEAH LETS GO WRITERS

WHY YOU SHOULD WRITE HORRIBLY:

1. You’ll never write anything if you don’t

otp

A couple of possible reasons why we havent succeeded in finding other forms of life in space.

tumblr user, drinking a bottle of uncontaminated water in post apocalyptic america: i love this?? this is so pure omg

same

What the hell is this!

THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

Watch this happen

Thousands of years from now when humans are extinct and dolphins are the dominant species they discover a mosquito in amber with perfectly preserved human DNA. Dolphin scientists are able to recreate humans and decide to make a giant theme park where dolphins come to see real live humans.