EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO REBLOGS THIS WILL GET THE FOLLOWING IN THEIR INBOX.

reblog if ur mom is smart and beautiful

Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.

I love my mom.

I am risking nothing

I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY

Will not risk.

sorry followers :(

what if it seems like batman has safehouses all over the country because he’s a paranoid maniac always ready to go into hiding in iowa, but actually he just goes on a lot of business trips for his day job and when he sees a cute house he buys it and stays there. he grew up in a big mansion with a butler, a house with only three rooms is like camping for him. he thinks it’s fun. he gets to play house and eat cereal for dinner. the flash accidentally committed some light treason and needs to lay low for a while so batman sets him up at this little place in maine. flash is like “wow he really does plan for everything” but no, he just saw an old queen anne with green shingle siding and white accents and he couldn’t help himself. it had a wraparound porch and a spire. a spire. technically it wasn’t in his carefully alloted ‘whims’ budget but he sold an extra yacht to make room. “geeze bats i get that it’s a safehouse but couldn’t you have stocked the pantry with something besides kix and peanut butter?” flash asks. “they’re shelf stable,” batman says, as if that is why he bought those things, as if this is not just What He Does when alfred leaves him unsupervised.

hi hello i would do ANYTHING for fics where there's a reveal to their relationship and people are actually surprised or at least not like "psh we knew all along" (it's fine also if they're surprised to find out keith or lance likes the other before they get together, but not where then the rest of the team is super involved or scheming). doesn't have to be incredibly dramatic surprise. i prefer canon and getting together but... anyway! thanks for reading even if you can't think of anything!

no SERIOUSLY i absolutely agree >:( here you go beb :33

i wanna love you (but i don't know if i can) by beautifulbane

(chapters: 1/1 | 16376 words | T)

So, of course, that was when Hunk had said, "You know, it's really good that we're all friends here. I feel like it always gets awkward when two people in a group start dating, you know?"

"Well, I don't think we have to worry about that with this group," Pidge had piped up, "I love you all, but there's no way in hell I'd date any of you."

Everyone else had murmured their agreement, except for Lance and Keith, who had shared a look before trying to discreetly scoot away from the other.

(Or, Lance and Keith decide to date in secret so their relationship doesn't make their teammates uncomfortable. It goes about as well as is to be expected.)

boys, Falling by icanexplain

(chapters: 6/6 | 27168 words | T)

“I’m good, it’s good,” he rushed to comfort them. He quickly glanced at the dagger and swallowed thickly at the dark patch oozing from his side.

It was not good. It hurt like a bitch.

Or five times the comms were off, and one time they were on, in that order, and five times Lance and Keith carried each other and one time they didn’t, not in that order.

(ft. a secret relationship, too many damn emotions, and an actual arc for Hunk)

The One Where Everybody Finds Out by bad_at_everything

(chapters: 1/1 | 17753 words | T)

Keith and Lance are dating, secretly. Nobody on the team knows, until suddenly everybody does. Shenanigans ensue.

Based on a Friends episode of the same title.

Secrets and Lavender by VertigoReader101

(chapters: 1/1 | 11913 words | G)

Lance rolled his eyes. “Not like you know anything about love, Pidge podge.”

“And you do?” Pidge questioned.

Lance’s eyes subconsciously glanced over to Keith who was stubbornly looking straight ahead, but you could tell he was listening closely.

“I’d like to think so.”

`````````````````````

Or five times Lance was jealous but couldn't say anything and the one time that he punches someone in the face.

Glitter & Gold - Spellbound

Hands down, the best Umbrella Academy video edit I’ve seen.

Better than the trailers even.

How I started reading Chinese novels

I think we all know just how hard it is to get started reading native content in our target languages. For the longest time, I thought reading Chinese novels was an unachievable goal. Every time I opened one up I was just overwhelmed with unknown vocab. So what changed? 

Well, I kinda put myself in a situation where I had to read a novel or else. That’s to say, I took a Chinese lit class at college where we read two novels and three short stories. At the same time I was also taking a half-credit class where we read small parts of the 三体 trilogy. So, my only options were to read or fail. 

The two novels I had to read were 《在细雨中呼喊》 by 余华 and 《家变》 by 王文兴. 《在细雨中呼喊》 was up first, and I decided to do something that I actually wouldn’t really recommend y’all do: I made a spreadsheet of every new word I encountered. Every. Single. One. You might remember I made a post about that last year once I’d finished the book. If you’re curious about the exact details of what I did, I suggest you check that post out. Here’s a screenshot of the spreadsheet:

So lemme just reiterate: I absolutely do not recommend doing this^^^ unless you a) are only planning on reading like a page or two a day, or b) love suffering and pain and misery and crying. I know I definitely stress-cried a few times while reading this novel.

Anyways. I did this for two reasons: 1. I wanted an accessible list of the new words I encountered, and 2. I wanted to track how many pages I read and new words I encountered each day. It was super time consuming, but also really satisfying because I was able to see the number of new words decrease as the days went on. The first day, I read 8 pages and had ~200 new words. By the end, I was averaging 7 new words per page. It was cool to see the progress, but it was a pain in the ass to document so. Decide for yourself if you wanna put yourself through this.

However, not everyone has access to a college-level literature class in their target language. So here’s some methods that have worked for me when reading outside of class: 

Keep reading

pls consider reading

i’ve been beating myself up over this and stuff a lot but i just,,,, im having a bad situation in my life rn. there’s a buttload of issues going on for me, all progressively getting worse, but my number one problem rn is: my laptop.

my laptop is quite literally falling apart. i cant close it all the way and if i try to, i’ll break it - i turn it off every night and just have it sloppily closed so that my battery doesnt overheat. it’s literally falling apart and this morning, it shifted around like it was going to break off - like, seriously, it’s falling apart.

[*not pictured - the snapping / cracking noise it keeps making as i adjust it even slightly]

i have no money and i cannot work due to both mental and health reasons - i had to quit my last job due to the fact that it stressed me out so much, i had panic attacks and was overstimulated every day, and my health has been progressively getting worse and working would be a risk for me.

my mother is widowed and we lost our health coverage when my father passed away two years ago suddenly; i can’t afford to go to the doctor for my health problems w/ out spending an arm and a leg, and my mom already has to pay for my older sisters health concerns and my younger sisters medication - she genuinely cannot afford for me to go to the doctor to get tested for my own health problems [i need to be tested for diabetes bc i genuinely, most likely have it and my fatigue has slowly gotten worse over time]

all i need right now is just,,,, something extra for a laptop. i have no money, until my health gets checked out / i get treated i cant work, and i’m sacrificing college and wont go until i get help w/ all of this

even if u cant donate i totally get it, but a reblog would also be nice dklfds

thank u again and im sorry for the inconvenience of this all, heres my cash.me:

cash.me: https://cash.me/$darkstripe 

[this is my preferred payment method; once i figure out paypal i’ll put a link to it]

thank u in advance!!!

Fanfic Rec List Pt. 3 (And still not done... )

Oh take me back to the start by @mimosaeyes

Each chapter is a stand alone one shot “Meet cute” AU and they are all just delightful! That initial moment of spark is such a huge part of what I love about stories so to have them all right at my fingertips like this is great when I want a nice pick me up! Many of the stories are Love Square but there are a few other pairings as well which I was also really excited about!

War of Attrition by AceGreyManx (don’t know tumblr url)

So this is a little one shot that I discovered… honestly I don’t know how, I think I was doing the thing where I just pick a random number between 1 and however many pages of fic there are for my fandom on AO3, go to that page and pick whichever story catches my attention on that page.

Anyways It’s very straightforward Ladynoir but we actually get to see Chat come out and step up to the plate when it comes to declaring his feelings for Ladybug and it is wonderful. You start off with this nice fluffy thing and end with a St. Crispin’s Day speech of Romantic confessions. Clocking in at less than 3k words there is no excuse not to read this one ^_~

Black Cats and Curtain Calls by @bullysquadess

This is probably the most self-indulgent of my fic recs and by an author who certainly doesn’t need my help being recognized. However as a musical theater nerd myself and someone who lived for both Highschool and Community theater productions when I was young I can’t NOT give a shout out to this beautiful universe. It really does a great job of capturing what the world of amature theater is like and the romance is cute and engaging, earning it a spot among my favorite fics.

Look at Me / Seeing Me by @raeryn  (or @adriennagreste on tumblr as well)

Two one shots telling the same story from each person’s POV.

;I just love this story- I must have read it a dozen times- because it isn’t focused on the reveal, it is focused on how the characters deal with it. It isn’t an instant change over to a happy couple, these are two kids who are trying to figure each other out and actually build a deeper relationship/friendship with the person they like and care for and it is such a refreshing thing to see.

Fermeture by Karmahope (not sure what tumblr url)

Ugh… this story just takes my heart and squeezes it like grapes only to put it back together again. It’s a delightful sort of melancholy angst focused on the idea that you don’t realize how much something is a part of your life until it is gone. A wonderful “post victory” oneshot

Consolation Prize by @mesozoic (I think the tumblr is the same as the AO3)

Oh my goodness I laughed SO hard while reading this. Between the fantastically hysterical awkwardness and the extremely unique styling (the author starts you in the middle of a conversation and it slowly gets revealed over the course of each chapter what happened, which makes the reveal of how they GOT there just delightful) this story is just such a fun change from what I expect in fanfiction. Its also nice to see these crazy messed up teenagers being just that.

Something in the Night by @konekat https://konekat.tumblr.com/

Another one that falls a little heavier on the angsty scale than I usually go for my favorites, this manages to keep my interest and handle a troupe I am usually personally not very big on- Chat and Ladybug being separated for years and Chat being bitter because of it- and make me engaged and excited for. They do a good job of skirting the line between putting the characters in a darker place without feeling like they are more OC than character (which is always my biggest concern with stories of this type) The writing itself is lovely which helps a lot, and they aren’t afraid to explore the characters flaws in a way that is very real and relatable. (Also for my NSFW fans the “missing scene” chapter (Burning in the Night) is definitely worth your time as well… hot… ::fans self::)

Back to Us by Darkreyna16  @insanitysscribblings on tumblr

As long as we are talking about the friends to strangers to enemies back to friends to lovers sagas I might as well round it out with the last one on my list (the first two being Something in the Night and Sealed Away)

Gonna warn you- this fic is a BEAST. There is a lot of content and a lot going on. However the story don’t get overly bogged down even with it’s complexity, and there are some wonderfully unique ideas and questions that get addressed in this story. This also has some of my favorite utilization of some of the minor/background characters. (Ivan! OMG BLESS!!!)  It’s nice to see a world where the classmates have also grown and developed alongside our core heroes.

For the COMPLETE Fic Rec List I have put a link on my main page! Just look at the top and click the button that says FIC REC LIST. 

All the works I have listed in parts 1-3 are up there and all subsequent fic rec updates will be going there as well! 

All the tenses

Original sentence: She + to close + the door

Tenses:

Past:

Pluperfect (plus-que-parfait): Elle avait fermé la porte - She had closed the door [conj. Être/Avoir auxiliary in the imperfect + past participle]

Imperfect (imparfait): Elle fermait la porte - She closed the door [description, historical detail, habit in the past]

Perfect (passé composé): Elle a fermé la porte - She has closed the door [conj. Être/Avoir in the present + past participle]

Simple past (passé simple): Elle ferma la porte - She closed the door [literary]

Past conditional (conditionnel passé): Elle aurait fermé la porte - She would have closed the door [conj. Être/Avoir in the present conditional + past participle; expresses a regret or theory/fantasy]

Perfect past (passé antérieur): Elle eut fermé la porte - She had closed the door [conj. Être/Avoir in the simple past + past participle; rare, literary, expresses the anteriority of an action compared to the one that follows]

Recent past (passé récent): Elle vient de fermer la porte - She just closed the door [conj. venir de in the present + infinitive; about what just happened]*

Past imperative (impératif passé): Aie fermé la porte - Have the door closed (before...) [conj. Être/Avoir in the imperative present without the pronoun + past participle; only exists in 2nd person singular and 1st/2nd person plural, expresses the anteriority of an action (order, prohibition, recommendation, plea) compared to the one that follows]

Past infinitive (infinitif passé): Avoir fermé la porte est important - Having closed the door is important [present infinitive Être/Avoir + past participle; expresses the anteriority of an action accomplished before the one that follows]

(Past participle (participe passé) [used after an auxiliary in multiple compound tenses, usually to express a past action - see the posts for rules below])

*

Present:

Indicative present (présent de l'indicatif): Elle ferme la porte - She closes the door

Progressive present (présent progressif): Elle est en train de fermer la porte - She is closing the door [conj. Être in the present + en train de + infinitive; about what is in the process of happening]

Present conditional (conditionnel présent): Elle fermerait la porte - She would close the door [expresses politeness, a desire, suggestion, theory]*

Present imperative (impératif présent): Ferme la porte - Close the door [indicative present without the pronoun; only exists in 2nd person singular and 1st/2nd person plural, expresses an order, prohibition, recommendation, plea]

Present infinitive (infinitif présent): Fermer la porte - Close the door [non-conj. verb; used in lists, on signs, after certain prepositions/conjugated verbs, expresses a number of feelings - see the post below]

(Present participle: Elle ferme la porte menant aux chambres - She closes the door leading to the bedrooms [verb + -ant; used to add precisions and usually replaces qui + conj. verb in the present])

*

Future:

Near future (futur proche): Elle va fermer la porte - She is going to close the door [conj. Aller in the present + infinitive; about what is about to happen]

Simple future (futur simple): Elle fermera la porte - She will close the door

Perfect future (futur antérieur): Elle aura fermé la porte - She will have closed the door [conj. Aller in the future + infinitive; about what will have happened]

*NB: To use "If... (then)..." constructions, use imperfect for V.1 and present conditional for V.2 in the present (Si elle mangeait, elle n'aurait pas faim), or pluperfect for V1. and past conditional for V.2 in the past (Si elle avait mangé, elle n'aurait pas eu faim).

*

+ Moods:

Present gerund (gérondif présent): Elle ferme la porte en criant - She closes the door shouting [(conj. verb 1 +) en + verb 2 + -ant; used to describe two simultaneous actions - not to be used with a stative verb such as Être, Sembler, etc.]

Past gerund (gérondif passé): Ayant fermé la porte, elle fut enfermée dehors - Having closed the door, she was locked out [Être/Avoir + -ant + past participle; used to describe the anteriority of an action]

Present subjunctive (subjonctif présent): Il faut qu'elle ferme la porte - She has to close the door [triggered by certain constructions + que; about an uncertain action that hasn't happened atm, that only exists in someone's head.]

Past subjunctive (subjonctif passé): Il fallait qu'elle ait fermé la porte - She had to have closed the door [certain constructions + que + pronoun/noun + conj. Être/Avoir in the present subjunctive + past participle; about an uncertain situation that might have happened]

Imperfect subjunctive (subjonctif imparfait): Il fallait qu'elle fermât la porte - She had to close the door [certain constructions + que + pronoun/noun + conj. verb; RARE literary pres. sub., about an uncertain situation that hadn't happened atm]

Pluperfect subjunctive (subjonctif plus-que-parfait): Il fallait qu'elle eusse fermé la porte - She had to have closed the door [certain constructions + que + pronoun/noun + conj. Être/Avoir in the imperfect subjunctive + past participle; RARE literary past sub., about an uncertain situation that might have happened]

*

More tenses posts: the past participle, past tenses guide, simple VS compound tenses, irregular past participles, infinitive; the simple past, imperfect + perfect, indicative present, simple future, conditionals, imperative, gerund, subjunctives.

Language Practice for Upper-Intermediate and Advanced Learners

One of the most abso-fucking-lutely frustrating and terrible useful and effective methods of studying I’ve found is to practice simultaneous interpretation. What’s awesome is you can do this anytime your target OR native language is being spoken, as interpretation works both ways.

For instance, when watching the news at night, if I’m not multitasking in some other way, I’ll just start doing my best (no matter how terrible it sounds/how much I don’t know) to interpret it out loud into Russian (or sometimes Spanish or French). You can also do this in your head if there are other people in your house – that’s what I normally do.

Because you’re not interpreting for anyone, it doesn’t matter how badly you do. What’s important is simply practicing the rapid recall of words as they appear at native speed.

Interpreting into your target language is obviously much harder than interpreting from it, so for upper-intermediate learners it can be extremely helpful to find a news source in your target language. For instance, in Spanish and Russian I am advanced enough to try interpreting into it (again, albeit with MANY mistakes – but I’m not doing it for anyone but myself so it doesn’t matter). However, my French sucks. It used to be okay, and it is getting better, but I would not (and have never) called myself “advanced” at it [hopefully within a couple years]. Thus, it is easier to interpret French into English.

Here are some of the resources I use to do so:

French:

France24

EuroNews en Français

France Info

TV5Monde

France.TV

Streema France

rfi - Les Voix du Monde

There were all found via google and the same can easily be done for any language. Streema is a great resource for any country – for instance Streema Spain and Streema Mexico and Streema Russia – definitely an amazing resource that probably deserves its own post.

I hope this helps!