Wisdom If I’ve Ever Seen It

Me and my friend's take on this

Minecraft Mobs don't have genders, even though it takes two mobs to breed. Charlie Slimecicle is a slime who gained sentience and does not understand friendship, spying, basic human interactions, or drugs. Therefore he does not comprehend or understand human genders and probably doesn't want one. In this essay I will

i don't wanna have the capacity to feel lonely.

No more gender no more star signs only what song off Your City Gave Me Asthma hits hardest for you.

i was gonna fully render this piece but i dont have the energy to do it so just have it as is

ponk picked the wrong type of prosthetics for the day bc he didnt think theyd be going up a mountain. bf gotta carry him up the rocks

bad in his long silky robe with a fur trim holding a glass of wine and swirling it around: no, officers, i have no clue what happened to my husband 

Why I loved jschlatts villain character

/dsmp /rp

He was introduced as Tommy’s hero. The whole stream was him following them around and causing confusion and chaos

Never lets anyone one up him, will dominate anyone with words. Seriously this guy is such an ENTP

That being said, was all bark no bite. Managed to convince/ manipulate people to do what he wants. In one stream he was armorless and surrounded by mobs and nearly died but was like “omg u gotta help me” and Tommy did lol

HIS VILLAIN SPEECHES?? FUCKING ICONIC Had some of the most memorable lines

“My first decree as the president, the EMPORER, of this great country!!! Is to revoke the citizenship of Wilbur soot and tommyinnit!!!”

Fucking chills

The story needed more conflict and everyone kinda wanted to be on team good guy so Schlatt was like: fine I’ll do it myself

Originally ran as president because.,,,, he probably just wanted to cause problems

99% sure he was drunk that day

HIS SCREAM LAUGH???? Superb villainy

The cc doesn’t stream and therefore no one to entertain. He did this all for himself

Literally had no reason to be evil, was just like “I am going to make a character that is so evil and sexy” and we were all like good for him

The suit??? The tie?? The horns??? This villains got style. C!dream take notes teletubby

He didn’t have much depth but my god he did perfect in his role as evil dictator dude

Also the chill streams were so funny, him and quackity’s date felt like the villain couples just chilling after a day of wreaking havoc

Never dropped character even for a second

He always seemed one step ahead,,, he knew tubbo was a spy and planned the festival,,, he knew of the tnt under lmanburg,,, he had a revival book somehow and got dream on his side,,,

Took the L out of lmanburg which was ingenious because it meant they didn’t lose, and also Americanized it cuz they added the L to sound more European

Flatty Patty

Whenever he called Wilbur “lover boy” ohgoshoshithhhh

Immediately tried flirting with technoblade to get him on his side

Was able to tear pogtopia against each other by making techno kill tubbo

I don’t even have to explain why making tubbo decorate his own execution was brilliant storytelling

He was intimidating, personally affected the “protagonists,” had an air of mystery and charisma, but .... he was also weird. He’s a weirdo. He doesn’t fit in, and he doesn’t want to. You ever see him without his stupid suit? That’s weird

Hot high off protein powder 24/7

While high on said protein powder would randomly start lifting weights. Can’t miss leg day ig

“WÒÖØØØŌÔÒÕÕ”

This guy should be a voice actor

Didnt know how to swim but kept forgetting he didn’t know how to swim and had to be repeatedly punched out of water

I honestly thought his death was done really well- he pushed everyone away from him and spiraled into an addiction to alcohol and protein powder, and at the end of his time he was surrounded by everyone he pushed away. No one helped him when he was in pain. All just stared with pitiful and cold eyes. A pathetic way to go for a pathetic man.

TLDR: c!schlatt will always have a special place in my heart because I love me some Funny bastard villains.

Also a fusion of dream and Schlatt would be Bill Cipher I am not wrong ever

Feel free to add on !!

Edit: offered alcohol to tubbo at one point- “here tubbo u gotta try some of this” tubbo being the responsible one “no thank you schlatt I don’t think that’s a good idea”

Fell off cliffs a lot

Never would run. God his character looks so dumb I fucking love it

dies

4 bit bfs

the eggpire experience