Eh, Fuck It, Gimme That Bagel News

Don't have the energy for X requirement of my current task so let me just 5 times as hard doing my task without it while also believing I'm doing less work

*looks at sherlock* it’s very smoll

Ah fuck I spilled my

My brain is playing the King Zora sliding noise and won't stop

The song that plays over the supermarket PA system in Rabbids Go Home just started playing at work why do I remember this

Please, spread this for those who might need it right now

U.S. suicide hotline: call or text 988 (available 24 hours)

U.S. trans lifeline: (877) 565-8860 (when you call, you’ll speak to a trans/nonbinary peer operator. full anonymity and confidentiality)

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) – provides 24/7 confidential support and referrals for individuals and families facing mental health and substance use disorders, including panic attacks and anxiety.

LGBT National Help Center: (888) 843-4564

Trevor Project: Call (866) 488-7386, text START to 678-678, or chat online.

Take care of yourself and each other. Please stay safe ♡

Mew deciding to have a ‘no float’ day

Brain is full of little people

Oh no, you crit failed summon monster! Instead of a monster you summon (roll a d20):

A single goblin who is unable to fight your enemies but is very enthusiastic to try

An unimpressed horse

The monster you wanted to summon, but high off its tits on acid

Ben Shapiro

An extremely confused Grey Knight Space Marine

Just a fuck ton of fancy soaps

Your own spleen

A mimic who's very embarrassed at being seen non-shapeshifted

The monster you want to summon but at 200mph

Every monster ever published in any D&D book ever all at once

The IRL game group

A heartwarming narrative about identity and personal growth in the american west

An asteroid the size of Scotland

The Discourse

An exact mental and physical copy of yourself who insists that they just summoned you

Your dad who went to the store to "get milk" 20 years ago

D&D First Edition

Late Stage Capitalism

The monster you wanted to summon but deconstructed into inch-square parts

My fist into your face. Fuck you.

As you get older, you unlock more and more of the supermarket