So Fucked Up, But Please Be Aware..

YEEET

You know what I don’t get?  When fanfic authors apologize for long chapters.  It’s like?  You gave me bonus content, for free, and you’re sorry about it?  Bruh.  I have already named my firstborn after you.  Dude.

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Hope you don't mind another prompt. The Team finds out Stephen can talk to animals.

this one’s short too but lmaooooo the possibilities

The first time it happens, no one really notices.

It’s a run-of-the-mill bad guy chase - some idiot stole a pretty suped-up vehicle from some government agency or another, and was careening down the mean streets of NYC with Iron Man, Iron Patriot, Doctor Strange, and Spider-Man on his tail. Stephen had been sort of a last-minute add in. Tony had called him up, begged him to come out, promised him a blowjob later if he said yes, and then cheered obnoxiously when the doctor portaled to their primary location, dressed for battle.

They’re just about to catch the perp when he veers sharply down a side alley and disappears from view. Tony doesn’t have time to get a bird’s eye - there’s civilians everywhere, and they’re trying to keep it low-key.

Well, as low-key as possible for them. And the suped-up government vehicle.

They’re speaking frantically over comms, trying to figure out what to do, when Stephen jogs out of a nearby pet store and takes to the sky again, coming to their little huddle.

“He turned left just after the alley - one way street. Let’s go!”

They catch the guy six minutes later. Tony laughs, blames it on Stephen’s magic third eye powers.

No one even thinks about the corgi puppy that had been sitting in the front window.

—————————

The second time it happens, Tony notices, but brushes it off.

He and Stephen are on a date in Central Park. They’re walking hand in hand, enjoying the nice weather, although Tony can feel a headache building behind his eyes. He hasn’t had caffeine in a few hours, and he’s starting to feel it already.

“Tony? You okay?” Stephen asks, ever the doctor, ever observant.

“Yeah, hon. Just - haven’t seen a Starbucks in a minute. Let me look - “

Tony falls silent, watching Stephen stare very intently at a squirrel perched on the railing nearby. The squirrel is unmoving, and it’s staring back at Stephen. The two stare for another long moment before Stephen turns to Tony, flashing him a smile.

“There’s a cart just a few more minutes’ walk from here. They’ve got candied nuts, too.”

Tony smiles gratefully, taking Stephen’s hand and starting the walk again. He glances back at the squirrel, who watches them walk away.

“Nuts, huh?”

————————————

The third time it happens, everyone picks up on it.

There’s a debate about where to go for pizza after a hard day’s work of saving New York. Peter votes Little Italy Number 2 on 6th Ave, Tony’s pulling hard for John’s, and Rhodey’s arguing for Two Boots in the West Village. Stephen, who was on Team Two Boots for a bit (“It’s closer to my place!”), steps away and picks up a nearby pigeon, staring intently into its face.

Tony clears his throat. “Uh… Whatcha doin’ over there, pumpkin?”

Stephen breaks his focus, turning back to Tony. “I’m asking the bird where the best crust is. It should know.” Right back to pigeon interrogation mode.

Tony looks at Rhodey, who’s gaping at Stephen, and Peter looks ready to die from the expression of sheer ecstasy on his face.

“Doctor Strange… You can talk to animals?!” He asks, overjoyed.

Stephen releases the ruffled bird, approaching the team again. “Of course.”

Peter immediately begins bouncing off the walls, asking about the bears in Central Park, and the NYPD horses, and the Central Park horses, and -

“Alright, hey, it’s pizza time. We can talk over pizza, and we’re going to John’s,” Tony decides, taking to the air again. RHodey follows, shaking his head.

“Tony, man, I love you? But your boyfriend’s a freak.”

Tony looks back at Peter and Stephen, smiling as the doctor patiently answers the spider kid’s endless questions.

“Nah. Not a freak. He’s special.”

👆👌

I stan the person who looked at RK900 for the ten seconds he was on screen and said “you see that bitch? That’s Gavin Reed’s partner” and the fandom just collectively nodded their heads and accepted the fact that it’s a canon thing for us

Wtf most women don’r even know they are pregnant at 6 weeks. This is violence.

Keep reading

Kill me.

A LITTLE THING I NOTICED WHILE WATCHING IRON MAN 3 TODAY

BTS as things my college peers have said.

Kim Seokjin (Jin): I might have failed my exam, but at least I looked good while doing it.

Min Yoongi (Suga): *Shivers* Oh sorry I just thought about capitalism 

Jung Hoseok (J-hope): Do you think if I scream we can get out of class early?

Kim Namjoon (RM): I’m going to fail this test *ends up getting a 106 somehow*

Park Jimin: *Laughs at everything the teacher says*

Kim Taehyung (V): This schoolwork is hurting my brain so I’m just going to take a nap. *falls asleep in library*

Jeon Jungkook: I may be able to lift these weights but I sure as hell can’t lift this grade.

I can’t Namjoon looks so done with them

this will never not be funny

fucking kill me already

It’s getting dark…