This App Is Literally My Public Private Place To Talk To Myself

Great

Ass

You have

the word gay is actually an acronym

god

actually doesn’t mind if

you’re gay

Breaking News!

The CDC has reason to believe a deadly spike in the love epidemic will occur February 14th.

If you are fortunate enough to have not caught the debilitating disease we urge you, lock your doors and windows, turn off all electronic devices, and read absolutely NOTHING categorized as "romance."

If you have not been exposed and you do not follow the advice listed above, you will surely catch a severe case of the Lovebug.

There is a chance a new strain of the virus will make its appearance on this day. Scientists have dubbed it "Heartsickness."

In clinical trials, the unfortunate people to catch this strain were only cured by catching the Lovebug, which doctors agree, is no cure at all.

There is still no known cure for the Lovebug or any of its various strains and scientists urge that extreme social distancing is the best method of avoidance.

Stay safe out there and we wish you all an uneventful 14th.

“getting the lovebug” but in an aromantic horror way

nothing in the world makes me more evil than just being kind of annoyed

Kalijah Sneak Peek!

These are some excerpts from an upcoming chapter in my Kalijah fic Redamacy! I'm posting this for my greatest source of Kalijah inspiration @umaficwriter since without their edits, I never would've been able to write a halfway decent story for these two.

Link to the fic(pls ignore how bad chapter 3 is😭) https://archiveofourown.org/works/53393533

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katerina crossed her arms with a scowl. “Well I'm so glad that they've finally deemed me worthy of tolerance, but that doesn't mean I'm eager to play house. Honestly, Elijah, did you expect us all to become one big happy family?”

Realistically, no, but as always, he had foolishly, idiotically, hoped that somehow it would all come together in the end and he could have it all. Truly, he was a selfish creature.

Reading the truth in his eyes, Katerina's face softened, and she stepped closer to him again, smoothing the creases in his brow and soothing him with her touch.

Her tone was gentler, but no less honest when she spoke again. “I could deal with Rebekah, but Klaus took everything from me. I won't plot against him, but I'll always hate him. It's not fair of you to ask otherwise.”

Elijah sighed. Of course, she was right, and he knew that. He would never expect so much from her. It was just that he wished so much for better, perfect circumstances, but theirs was a world far from perfect.

He leant his forehead against hers, lightly brushing their noses until she smiled. “I understand, Любов моя. It was never my intention to suggest such a thing. I just don't want to be apart from you.”

“So don't be,” she whispered against his lips, the move so enticing he had to kiss her.

After a moment, he pulled away enough that he could see her. She was still smiling slightly, and it brightened his mood.

“Go with your siblings to New Orleans, take care of your family, and once everything is settled, give me a call. We'll go back to Willoughby, or we can pick somewhere new. Doesn't matter.”

He stared into her eyes, searching them desperately for signs of deceit. “You would wait? While I was gone, you would wait for my return?”

Katerina placed a hand on his face, tenderly stroking his cheekbone. “I love you, Elijah. I'll love you while you're gone, and I'll love you even more if you come back.”

Elijah pulled her into a deep kiss, wrapping an arm around her waist to press her as close as possible and attempting to pour his devotion into her through touch alone. He only separated from a breathless Katerina just enough to speak a promise against her lips.

“I will always come back to you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I made them a promise that I would stand by their side and protect her and the child. Niklaus is playing a dangerous game. One misstep and everything will be lost. I cannot let that happen. They need me.”

Katerina pulled her hand from his grip. “And what about your promise to me? What about us? What about you? What do you want, Elijah?”

His own eyes were tearing up as he looked at her helplessly. “You know I want nothing more than to be with you. I love you.”

She squeezed her eyes closed like she couldn't bear to look at him, her lips, normally so full of color, were pressed so tightly together they were white. He knew she was struggling to maintain her composure, and he could do nothing but watch.

When she opened her eyes, they were resigned. The look on her face was similar to when Kol had said he could no longer help her. It was disappointed acceptance, the heartbreaking stare of someone failed far too often. He was sure nothing alive had ever felt as wretched inside as he did while meeting that stare.

“I know. That's what's so sad, Elijah. You love me, just not enough.”

“I-”

“You are devoted to a fault. You've given yourself entirely to your family, and there's no room for anything else. That's not how I want to be loved. I won't spend forever coming second to Klaus.”

Like always, she unapologetically forced him to stare his greatest flaws in the face, made him study them in great detail until he had a new understanding of some fundamental truth of himself. However, this time, knowing wasn't enough to make a difference. He wanted to say he would change, that he would leave Niklaus to live his life however he chose and put his love for Katerina first the way she deserved, but he couldn't make that promise. He couldn't fully let her go either.

“Forever is a long time, my Katerina. I may not be able to give you what you deserve now, but I still intend to keep my vows. I will come back to you. It may take time, but even though I'm not by your side, I will never leave you.”

Katerina took a deep breath, blinking away gathering tears stubbornly. She linked her hand with his again.

“You do that, and I'll stand by what I said too.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His gaze swept over her body, drinking in every detail of her beloved form before settling on her fathomless eyes.

“I don't think I can say goodbye,” he choked out around the swell of despair in his throat.

Her face crumpled, and she breathed a watery sigh before stepping closer to him. She stroked over his brow with soft fingertips, looking at him with so much adoration and heartbreak.

“Close your eyes,” she whispered.

He did what she said without thought and felt the heavenly sensation of her plush lips against his. The kiss was soft, tender, a loving caress, and a promise of more. It lingered like a last kiss but held the hope of a first.

Elijah reached to touch her, wind an arm around her waist, and never let her go, but his hand cut through thin air. He opened his eyes, and she was gone, the press of her against his skin imprinting itself into the familiar places it once called home.

He blinked a tear from his eye, feeling it trail down his cheek as he stared at the empty space she just occupied and reacquainted himself with her ghost.

Dramione The Great AU

I need someone to write a Dramione fic inspired by The Great!

Hermione would be Catherine, and Draco would be Peter. The plot would have to change a bit to fit the characters. I was thinking the power struggle between Dramione could result in a shared leadership with Hermione and Draco both coming together to reform Russia after the coup. Hermione would still take power herself for a time, struggling like Catherine did, and during that time, she and Draco would start to understand each other more and grow to respect the others' strengths. They would, of course, fall in love in the process but would also come to realize the benefit of ruling together and how they help fill the gaps in each other's worldview.

In my opinion, Narcissa should definitely be aunt Lizzy, but Andromeda would be a good choice if you wanted to stay more in line with the show. Plus, she and Hermione would be more likely to grow close quickly so I could see the merit in going that route. If Narcissa was chosen, I suggest replacing Peter's mother with Bellatrix in the sense that Draco's trauma would come from his aunt instead of his mother.

Grigor and Georgina would obviously be Theo and Pansy. Arkady would be Blaise, and I have the tentative thought that Luna could be Tatyana. Ginny should be Marial, and Orlo should be Harry. Ron would be Leo. I have the idea of Snape as Archie and possibly Remus for Velementov.

The side ships have the potential to be very interesting. You could keep Harry and Ginny together and have the plot shift with that, or you could follow TG canon and have Ginny and Theo be a thing eventually with Harry being demisexual and possibly with someone else.

Point is, I have IDEAS and THOUGHTS, and someone needs to do something with them ASAP because I lack the energy both mentally and physically to take on another project.

Sometimes that's how you teach fuckers to have empathy.

We tell kids, "treat others how you want to be treated" but at a certain point in a person's life they just grow so apathetic and desensitized to the greater world outside themselves that the simple philosophy we teach literal children is forgotten, or at least, no longer actively practiced.

That's when you show them how they've been treating others, make them feel the things they inflict onto people thoughtlessly, because people tend to learn best the hard way, and we've got a tendency towards selfishness, so forcing someone to "walk a mile in another's shoes" is usually the best way to ensure any type of lasting impact.

Pukicho whats your opinion on the passage of time

Hoping it'll eventually stop doing that

Etsy people are the salt of the earth. Not only do you get a unique product but they always send those little notes and drawstring bags. Sometimes you'll get stickers or candy. Someone once sent me two free masks with order! Point is Etsy sellers are too good for this world and are truly out here doing the lords work. Hats off to you guys *flips top hat in the air dramatically*

I think it's typically a case of desperate times call for desperate measures.

i love how there's the genre of fix-it fic where the author goes into great granular detail of how our heroes manage to avoid or undo whatever character death or other unpopular choice occurred, in a way that abides by the laws of the fictional universe and definitely required a substantial plot outline, and then there are fix-it fics where the author just went "that's bullshit and didn't happen," and we as readers all go "agreed. carry on."