If Heaven Isn't An Endless Amount Of Fics Catered To My Various Ships And Fandoms, Specifically Curated

Beautiful Wedding is Batshit Insane!

Okay why is nobody talking about the coked out fever dream that is Beautiful Wedding!?

I've seen commentaries on Beautiful Disaster, which is how I discovered these gloriously terrible movies in the first place, but for some unknown reason, I've found nothing on the (imo far superior) sequel. This is a horrible missed opportunity for the commentary genre and the general public at large who may never get to experience this... experience without the proper publicity. I am in no way the best person for this job, but unfortunately, no one else seems willing, so here we go.

Beautiful Disaster was an objectively bad movie, but I thought it was fun in a very wattpad-esque way. With Dylan Sprouse as a bad boy underground boxer whose most frequent line is "pigeon", you know you're in for a cringey good time.

However, that movie does not hold a candle to the ridiculously awful Beautiful Wedding.

While I wouldn't say Beautiful Disaster was serious in any way, it really felt like everyone involved just gave up all pretense of making, like, an actual movie with the sequel. From what little I know about the book, this movie is completely new material, and oddly enough, I think that worked in its favor. Almost immediately, you just feel a different vibe that lets you know no one making this has any misconceptions about what they're creating. They all know they're making garbage, and they're having fun doing it, which makes it all the more hilarious. The plot is all over the place, the characters make no sense, everything is over the top and beyond nonsensical, and it's great because they lean into it.

There's this one scene near the end where, I shit you not, Dylan Sprouse is on a roof, he sees Abby absolutely caked in mud, he jumps off the roof in slow motion, and lands in a superhero pose. Then they make out while the camera circles them.

Truly it is a shining example of cinema.

Genuinely, I loved watching this movie and will definitely be watching it again. Would recommend to anyone looking for a fun time.

This is canon what are you talking about???

This is now my new favorite best friend duo

Suck it, you one-eared sad boy.

ALL HAIL TAMA! LONG MAY HER LINE OF SUCCESSION REIGN!

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