Here Have A Meme From The First Book Bc I Haven’t Read Any More In Agos Shhhhh

I can no longer go a day without getting hello Jon’d

Trying to picture Jon fucking around in America half crazy and paranoid with approximately .63 hours of sleep has me wheezing

How to start a discussion within the TMA fandom: ask everyone to remember exactly where they were when they heard Michael Distortion’s loud ass death scream for the first time

He really said you have something I want

Another Kell vs Alucard feud post for your consideration ✨

Kelsier invented parkour he told me so himself

Girls don’t want boys, girls want white-haired Sankta Alina and book accurate Korol Rezni

NAUR WARREN YOU DIDN’T

Condolences to Jon for having to read this aloud 💀

I'm re-listening to TMA and I CANNOT get over the 180 Jon does in "Page Turner." We're four episodes in and the last three have been spent building up Jon as the cliched skeptic who takes a Rational™ approach to his supernatural job, thank you very much. Oh, you encountered a meat puppet trying to lure you into an alleyway? Sure you did, Mr. Drunk As a Skunk. My hometown is housing moaning coffins that dislike being used as coffee tables? Uh huh, says the self-identified drug addict. Oh, the woman who saw the Not!Them didn't have injuries severe enough to induce hallucinations? Alright, fine, but I'm sure there's some explanation for all this. I am Jonathan Stuffy Sims and I will NOT be cowed by a bunch of unverifiable superstitions.

So by now the listener is pretty used to this format. Creepy statement, skeptical Jon, just enough ambiguity to set up the eventual reveal that all this is true. We know how these stories go. Jon will get blindsided by the revelation in like... a season? Maybe two? Poor guy is gonna be so shocked, being a skeptic and all smh 😔

BUT THEN MAG4 slams in with the post-statement to end all post-statements. Jon comes out swinging and just fucking decks the listener with "If I never hear the name Jurgen Leitner again it will be too soon." Oh, you thought the ominous book collector would be news to him, something else to dismiss? SIKE. He already hates Leitner, all his homies hate Leitner, Leitner is an established Supernatural Threat and god dammit, I thought we'd already dealt with this back in 1994. What was Gertrude thinking? We need to stop the spread of evil ozone books immediately. I'm taking this up with Elias, I'm taking it to the TOP, because if we don't keep the clearly undead woman and her heat-averse son from spreading more fucked-up novels around we are all DOOMED. What's that? There was Sanskrit written on her flayed corpse? Oh, of course there was because organizing this archive wasn't ENOUGH of a challenge!!

And then in future statements Jon goes right back to, "The supernatural? I do not see it 😌"

All of which is WAY more fucked up and compelling than the traditional skeptic. Jon is a mess. Truly the most character of all time.