hello wary travelers! 🫧🧙🏻♀️
໋•̩̩͙ ִ 𓈒ּ ° 𓂂 i am indigo, your friendly neighborhood jjk writer! i am SO glad you stumbled upon my humble abode ^o^
໋•̩̩͙ ִ 𓈒ּ ° 𓂂⠀HALT, before you enter my dwelling, i must ask you to review the house rules!!!
(∩`-´)⊃━☆゚.*・。゚ huzzah! you are permitted to enter! please enjoy my masterlist🫶🏻 continue below to learn more about this friendly witch🧙🏻♀️🌊
* ੈ✩‧₊˚ this is a jjk-centric page where i’ll be posting smaus, hcs, short fics, and interacting with other accounts (not JUST jjk, also: hq, aot, wndbrkr, etc.)
* ੈ✩‧₊˚ check out some my favorite writing wizards 🧙🏻♀️🪄🔮
* ੈ✩‧₊˚ requests welcomed and appreciated!!!
hello ^^ ( thank you sososo much for the love on the other posts! send me requests if you want :P )
hiya!! <3333
honestly don't want to pressure you by requesting xxx
buttttt i love, love, love the way you write suguru xxx
so i'd be happy with anything with him <33333
whether it be a continuation of a similar dynamic with the curses aftertaste fic or something else entirely...
Roommate!Suguru would be so possessive and yummy.
Initially, when you first moved in the apartment, he didn't really care much about you. He knew you had a pretty face and were kinda shy, but that's all.
But as time went on and you opened yourself up to him, he began to get quite obsessed with you. He would be all over you as soon as he stepped foot in your apartment; and you would let him, after all he was just being friendly! right?
It didn't matter that anytime he would hug you from behind you would feel something hard pressing against the small of your back. It was probably just his phone in his pocket!
And you're sure that it's your mind doing tricks on you whenever you hear the bathroom door open while you take a shower. He would never ever spy on you, you were sure.
So when you come home from a terrible date, the first thing you do is rush over to him, your pretty eyes filled with tears, and throw yourself in his arms.
He was quite pissed off from the moment you told him you were going on a date. I mean, you have a perfectly good man at home! Why would you even consider seeing someone else?
Suguru always took good care of you. He always pampered and spoiled you, and every time you would think that he was just being generous.
I mean, he had a big reputation as a respectful and kind guy, especially among girls; his giving personality was what attracted them, his deep, soothing voice and his looks were a plus.
So obviously you thought he was just being his kind self when he took your teary eyed face in his hands and wrapped you up in his arms, engulfing your entire body as if protecting you.
But you couldn't deny the warmth in your belly as he whispered in your ear and rubbed your back, listening intently while you vented about how horrible your date was.
And the whole time he was just subtly smiling to himself, knowing that you would always come back to him; that even if you convinced yourself that you were just friends, deep down you knew that you were meant for him.
"It's not your fault, darling. He wouldn't be able to take care of you properly anyway, not like I do. But you know that, don't you baby? You know no one can compare to me, right?" he mumbled condescendingly, taking your puffy cheeks in his hands and tilting your head upwards to look at him in the eye.
God, you were so fucking precious. Especially like this, all pouty and teary-eyed, soft and pliant in his hands.
"Told you that you should've stayed home with your Sugu, but you just had to be a little brat and not listen to me, mh?"
And you know that if you had listened to him you wouldn't be in this position, you know that he's right.
So when his hands start to wander all over your body while he says that he "just wants to make ya feel better", you just nod and let him.
You don't know what you did to deserve him!
He's too kind, you think as his hands rub your waist and wander lower.
You think he's such a good friend when he pulls your panties down, his fingers rubbing your little clit to "make the sad go away".
And when your legs are over his shoulders, his cock nestled deep inside you and your tummy bulging, you think he's the best friend ever!
He smirks down at you, and he knows he's got you hooked when he sees your eyes crossing and your legs shaking.
"Look at you, already dumb on my cock. You love it, don't you baby? Yeah you do, f-fuck.." he plunges so hard in your little hole, biting his lip to stifle the moans coming out of his mouth.
He knows this is where you belong: your body pressed into the mattress, your pretty pussy stretching around his fat shaft, your wetness creating a pretty ring of cream coating the base of his cock, your pink nails (that he paid for) drawing red stripes across his back;
and maybe then he realizes that he's the one wrapped around your finger, when he fills your little cunt up to the brim with his hot cum, and a small part of him wishes that it takes. maybe then you would only think about him, you'll realize that he's all you truly need, and you for him <3
hiiii! thank u so much for the request (sorry for answering late) i don’t really love this but wtv! hope u do😚
Gojo with no social skills is so dear to me
i am so horribly insufferably irrecoverably in love with megumi fushiguro and yuta okkotsu. they’re so babygirl
♡ THE ONE AND ONLY CUPID
PAIRING: fushiguro megumi x f!reader
SYNOPSIS: itadori yuji is behind the account “the one and only cupid” where others in tokyo can anonymously ship two people they think should get together. what happens when you’re suddenly shipped with fushiguro megumi whom you’ve never talked to before and why do you all of a sudden have to see him in the school hallway every single day?
GENRE: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, social media au
TAG LIST: closed
STATUS: completed
NOTES: hopefully i won’t delete this like i do with all my other smaus but i’m excited for this one so we’ll see…also, geto in this smau will not kill non sorcerers because i need him and gojo to have a happy life somewhere
THE CHILDREN | THE ELDERLY
ONE - a stalker?
TWO - the golden retriever to my black cat
THREE - i hate teenagers
FOUR - the cafe meeting
FIVE - uncomfortable
SIX - movie night
SEVEN - realizations
EIGHT - wtf panda
NINE - a selfie???
TEN - more than a crush
ELEVEN - nervous for friday
TWELVE - maki’s plan
THIRTEEN - cuddles
FOURTEEN - hanging out alone
FIFTEEN - maybe lose a leg…or an arm
SIXTEEN - kisses?
SEVENTEEN - a step forward
EIGHTEEN - thank you for yesterday
NINETEEN - revelations
TWENTY - sudden worries
TWENTY ONE - cancelled dates
TWENTY TWO - revelations pt 2
TWENTY THREE - forgiveness
TWENTY FOUR - a shoulder to cry on
TWENTY FIVE - where is he?
TWENTY SIX - say sorry
TWENTY SEVEN - friends again
TWENTY EIGHT - goodbye cupid
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ 10k follower event special! ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
word count: 11k warnings: none really. reader likes lemon oreos bcuz i projected onto this <3 summary: (y/n) and yuuta get to know each other better over the phone while he's on assignment in africa. feelings ensue. more info: long distance friends to lovers, yuuta got that romance dawg in him
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
[ and you know everyone adores you // you can’t feel it and you’re tired // baby, wish that you would hold me or just say that you were mine // but it’s killing me slowly ]
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
The first time he gets a call from her, Yuuta is a little perplexed before he answers the phone. Of the few people he might’ve expected a phone call from, (y/n’s) was the last name he expected to see on his screen. Nonetheless, he answered it right away.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Okkotsu,” Her voice was so cheerful, he could’ve easily believed that she meant to call someone else. But she’d said his name, so it couldn’t have been a mistake. “How’s Morocco?”
“Morocco, is….” He trails off, fingers tapping a poor rhythm on the table in front of him. Doing paperwork in a hotel room wasn’t ideal. The desk provided was always small, and the chair always uncomfortable. But it wasn’t like he had a lot to report anyways. “It’s alright, I guess”
“Alright, you guess?” She repeats curiously. “Sounds like you’re bored already”
“Bored-? N-no, no I’m not bored,” He stammered over his words, and (y/n) could be heard laughing through the line. “I’m just, um, I’m trying to do a report right now” He said sheepishly.
Trying being the key word. He’d practically given up ten minutes before he got her call anyways.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” (y/n) apologized right away. “Am I keeping you? Should I go?”
“N-no!” Yuuta squeaked, cringing at himself as he slumped back into his hair, covering his face with his hand as if there was anyone else around to hide his embarrassment from. “No, you’re not keeping me, I… I have nothing for this report anyways” He explained.
“Really? Not goin’ so well?” She asked.
“Uh- it’s just- I don’t want to bore you with it,” He sighed. “Anyways, what’s the call for? Isn’t it like…” He glances behind him at the analog clock on his bedside table, wincing when he sees how late it was. “Three in the morning, your time?”
“Actually, it’s only two forty-five,” She corrects with a clear smile in her tone. “And aren’t I allowed to check in? You’ve been gone, for like, weeks”
“Y-yeah, you’re allowed,” He mumbles back, face feeling hot. “I just figured, y’know, you’re… busy”
“Never too busy,” She half-jokes. “So tell me all about it, boring parts and all”
Yuuta’s brows pinch together, a small scoff leaving his throat.
“Really?” He’s unsure as to why she’d want to hear about the ins and outs of a trip that so far had proven to be pointless. “You sure you want to hear about it?”
“Course,” She hums back. “Beats studying”
So he complies. There’s not much to tell, but he finds a way to walk her through what his day-to-day with Miguel was like. Looking for more of the Black Rope. She seemed to have some interest in the cursed tool, asking excitedly if it could stop the cursed techniques of even the strongest special grade sorcerers.
“Yeah, that’s kinda the point,” He chuckles. “But it’s been slow. I’m starting to think this is going to take longer than we thought…”
(y/n’s) a good listener. She lets him ramble on even when he’s not making sense, and continues to prod and ask more questions when she comes up with them. He thinks maybe she’s just stalling to keep her from studying, but he figures there were countless other things she could’ve done to keep her occupied… right?
It’s not until Yuuta notices the clock and remembers the time difference between them that he finally stops his rambling and suggests they end their call soon.
“Ah- it’s late, and I’m probably boring you now, too” He lets out a light hearted chuckle that she can’t help but reciprocate.
“I guess I should try to study just a little” She huffs.
Yuuta scoffs, a small smile on his face as he picks up his pen and stares at the half-finished report in front of him. Maybe he’d been stalling, too.
“Or you could just go to bed, cram last minute tomorrow” He suggests.
She seems amused by that, and when she lets out a little laugh he thinks it’s the right choice, too. The noise comes out lazily, full of sleepiness. It’s obvious even through the phone. Yuuta wonders if she’s hunched over her desk, ignoring the textbook and notes right in front of her.
“You’re pr’lly right,” She murmurs, her tiredness even more evident in her voice. “I guess I’ll go to bed then”
“Okay,” Yuuta drums the pen against his thigh in an erratic beat. Something about saying goodnight makes him feel a little disappointed.
Until now, he hadn’t realized that it had been weeks since he’d casually talked to a friend. Toge texted plenty, and sometimes he heard from Panda and Maki, too. But this felt… different.
“Well, goodnight-”
“And Okkotsu?” She interrupts him without realizing, quickly apologizing before she continues her thought. “You didn’t bore me, just for the record. I think it’s neat that you get to be on such a special assignment. I hope that it gets more exciting for you”
He’s thankful that she didn’t opt to facetime him, because his face grows so warm he just knows he’s turned into a tomato. And something about sitting in his lonely little hotel room and blushing over such a simple comment is downright embarrassing.
He laughs nervously, tugging at the collar of his shirt to relieve the heat on his neck.
“Uh, yeah, me too,” He stammered quietly. “Thanks. Good luck with studying”
She hums.
“Goodnight, Okkotsu. Thanks for keeping me company”
The call ends there, and Yuuta smiles to himself as he sets his phone down and finds the energy to finish up his pointless report.
Talking with her had been nice. Maybe they hadn’t become the closest of friends between him enrolling at Jujutsu Tech and being shipped off to Africa, but he thinks that could- and should- change.
He’d have to make more of an effort to get closer to her while he was away.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
When (y/n) calls again, it’s not so late this time.
Yuuta had just settled in the hotel lobby with his burrito for lunch, his only plan for the time being was to scroll aimlessly on his phone while he ate. To his luck, just as he sat down on the stiff cushioned chair in the lobby, his phone rang.
“Okkotsu!”
It had been a little over a week since their last call, and Yuuta had done his best to keep in touch with her since then. A few photos of the wildlife native to the area that she seemed to enjoy, or a pretty sunrise here or there. There were a lot of messages sent to her first thing in the morning, beautiful photos tagged with his complaints of being up so early. It was the easiest time to use his phone, and he’d tried to make a habit of at least messaging her once a day.
To his delight, she always sent him a response. It wasn’t always right away, with an eight hour time difference that was a steep ask, but she never failed to let him know that she saw his message and appreciated it somehow. Whether it was an emoji reaction or a full text, she never left a text from him unanswered. Strangely, Yuuta found this to be thoughtful of her.
“I’m cooking, can you believe it!?” She sounds excited, but the kind of excited that seems like something very wrong is about to happen.
“O-oh?” He stutters, chucking as he tucks his phone between his ear and shoulder so he could unwrap his burrito. “What, are you not allowed, or something?”
“Hush, I don’t let anyone tell me what to do,” She laughs at his comment, not realizing he wasn’t joking. “I just haven’t cooked for myself properly since moving away from home. The kitchen here is puny, though,” She mutters the last part.
The muffled sounds coming through the speaker sound as though she’s rummaging around the cabinets. Yuuta tilts his phone away from his ear a little, the dishware clanking together more unpleasant than usual coming through a phone.
“But I thought it’d be nice to make a home cooked dinner. I was going to make some for everyone, but I guess they already ate. So it’s dinner for one tonight,” She explains. Yuuta’s chest sinks with disappointment at the thought of missing quality time with his friends. “Anyways, what’re you up to?”
“Eating a burrito,” He replies dryly. “What are you making? I’d much rather have that”
“Don’t speak too soon, it’s been a while since I’ve been in a kitchen,”
(y/n) laughs, and Yuuta does too.
“Just ramen,” She answers. “Figured it’s best to start out simple. Also figured I couldn’t set anything on fire”
“Depends on how you look at it. Setting something on fire while only cooking ramen might be an accomplishment, with how difficult it must be”
He doesn’t mean to be funny, but (y/n’s) laughing again, and Yuuta smiles through a mouthful of burrito for saying something clever enough. Pride swells in his chest the longer he hears her laughter turn to muted giggles while she’s pittering about the kitchen.
“You’re eating, should I let you go?” She asks once her laughter has calmed down.
“No, it’s alright,” Yuuta shakes his head even though he knows she can’t see. “I’m bored anyways. I was just going to sit here by myself and eat this burrito”
She laughs again, lightly this time.
“Alright, then, want me to tell you about how hard Maki kicked my ass in training yesterday?” She offers.
He’d already had an inkling, recalling a harshly worded text from her followed by a photo of her left leg covered in blue and purple marks that were bound to grow dark soon. He’d cringed when he’d seen it, giving the image a frowning emoji reaction before responding with, ‘Maki?’. But he happily agrees to have her tell him the rest of the story behind the bruises.
He deems (y/n) and Maki to hold a far closer friendship than he did himself, so he knew that the next five minutes of ranting on her part is in good nature and she was only annoyed with losing, not necessarily with Maki herself. That said, as someone who had dealt with the torture of training with her, Yuuta understood the feeling quite well. He laughs when she talks about being thrown to the ground like a ragdoll, and he winces when she tells him about the absolute beatdown she’d taken.
It’s a gruesome retelling, even though at times she talks as if it was as casual a part of her day as brushing her teeth had been. The life of a jujutsu sorcerer was always an unorthodox one.
“She didn’t even try to go easy on me, Okkotsu. But, she did get me an ice cream sandwich with my ice pack, so she’s still my best friend, I guess” She’s only teasing, evident in the way she giggles.
“Yuuta” He says without thinking, having happened to swallow the last of his food and finally getting a chance to speak.
“Hm- what?”
“You can just call me Yuuta” He clarifies, eyes darting around the lobby to be sure no one could see him blushing.
His voice grows quieter as he suddenly feels bashful in the public setting. None of the people passing in and out of the space pay him a second glance, and it doesn’t dawn on him that they might not even understand his language, but his body language says enough. He’s tucked into the corner chair, hunched over and holding the phone as close to his face as possible so he wouldn’t have to raise his voice too much. Not to mention, his face was turning a rosy shade of pink.
“Alright, Yuuta,” (y/n) muses, testing the waters to see how his name sounded. It felt foreign, and it had the color in Yuuta’s face darkening even faster, but she seemed amused by the change. “Ramen’s coming along pretty well, I think it’ll actually be edible!”
She’s quick to move on from the semi-serious topic. He’s relieved for this, and does his best to come across as casual as possible. He asks her about the recipe, and she talks to him for a while about her process until the conversation somehow turns back on him and he’s updating her about Morocco.
Time passes so easily, Yuuta barely realizes that he’s been sitting in the lobby for an hour, not thinking about how she had finished her dinner and eaten it too. (y/n) never mentions the time either, unknown to him, sitting on the counter in the common room’s kitchenette as she talks aimlessly about anything and everything she can think of. Yuuta enjoys hearing about it all, the shenanigans that she’s been up to with Toge, the odd style of teaching that Gojo has, even just the simple things, like how yesterday it had rained.
There’s something magical about being on the phone with her, he realizes halfway into hearing about how she’d gone outside to help the worms back into the grass after the rainfall. Not only does he lose time, but there’s not a dull moment. Most of his days had become so bland and boring they’d started to blend together. Besides the occasional sword training, he’d spent the majority of his time wandering about with Miguel. It was starting to feel aimless, with every passing day that they came up empty handed.
Talking with her was everything but boring, never boring. It finally felt like he had some company to get him through this assignment. He hoped that this second call meant they could make more of a habit out of it.
“I should probably go so I can clean up the kitchen,” She sighs when she finally suggests getting off the phone. It’s then, and only then, that Yuuta checks the time, quickly pulling his phone away to tap the screen before putting it up to his ear again. “I think it’d be obnoxious for me to stay on the phone while I do the dishes” She adds with a chuckle.
His heart spikes at the idea of her wanting to keep talking, though.
“Y-yeah, that might be too loud,” He replies. “But that’s okay, I should probably get some training in, or something, anyways”
“Gotta keep up that Special Grade status,” (y/n) teases. He’s grateful she can’t see him fluster every time she teases him, no matter how lighthearted it is. He’s not sure why it sends him into a mini panic every time, but he hopes he gets a hang of himself soon, if they’re going to keep talking like this. “Talk soon, though?”
He’d really have to learn to get a hold of himself. The short question has him beaming and nodding his head wildly, although the only people to see it are the hotel staff at the check-in desk who’d been peeking glances at the weird talkative boy on his phone for the last two hours.
Yuuta clears his throat before speaking, hoping to sound as normal as possible.
“Yeah, yeah we can talk again soon”
He’s not sure how well he does.
“Okay, cool,” The smile is evident in her tone, and in turn has Yuuta smiling too. “Talk to you later then, Yuuta”
Maybe he was just hopeless, but hearing his name again has him blushing and fidgeting in his seat.
“Bye, (y/n)”
Even once the call has ended and his phone is sitting lifeless in his lap, with the rush of adrenaline Yuuta gets, one might think he’d just received the best news of his life. Funnily enough, he hadn’t received much news at all- besides the fact that the worms on Jujutsu Tech Tokyo’s property were safe and accounted for after a life threatening sprinkle- so his giddiness was solely brought on by talking with her.
Slowly but surely, she was becoming his favorite person to talk to.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
[y/n]: need ur help, it’s urgent [y/n]: ok woah i should not have said it like that
[yuuta]: ??? are you ok???
[y/n]: need u to help me win a bet
[yuuta]: ._. [yuuta]: ok.
[y/n]: vanilla oreos suck, right?
[yuuta]: this was urgent?
[y/n]: panda said they’re his favorite flavor.
[yuuta]: oh god. [yuuta]: he needs a wellness check for sure.
[y/n]: THANK YOU [y/n]: toge said his fav were the birthday cake ones but the vanilla weren’t bad. he’s still got the taste of a toddler, but at least they’re not his FAVORITE i mean cmon. vanilla is just bad. [y/n]: i knew you’d understand me.
[yuuta]: ur right this was urgent. i thought i knew them. [yuuta]: what are your favorite?
[y/n]: obviously i told them original.
[yuuta]: … implying they’re not actually your favorite?
[y/n]: you’re asking very personal questions, yuuta
[yuuta]: lmfao [yuuta]: i’ll tell u mine if u tell me urs :)
[y/n]: u first i’m shy :)
[yuuta]: original are good. but i like the toffee ones best
[y/n]: interesting.
[yuuta]: so am i getting judged for my oreo preference, too?
[y/n]: lol no. ur safe. for now ;)
[yuuta]: well we had a deal. what’s ur fav?
[y/n]: … i like the lemon ones
[yuuta]: :o [yuuta]: don’t those come with a VANILLA cookie???
[y/n]: … [y/n]: maybe.
[yuuta]: ur ridiculous
[y/n]: but the lemon flavor makes it different. it’s not PLAIN vanilla.
[yuuta]: can’t argue with u there
[y/n]: ya bcuz u wouldn’t dare :)
[yuuta]: no i wouldn’t :)
[y/n]: mwahaha i have the big scary special grade afraid of me :)
[yuuta]: idk about big. and the scary is all rika
[y/n]: does she have a take on the great oreo flavor debate? <3
[yuuta]: … [yuuta]: she always preferred animal crackers.
[y/n]: <;/3
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
When Yuuta finally works up the courage to call her first, it’s been a couple weeks.
Which in hindsight, it feels like too much time has passed. Even though they’ve been texting every single day nearly nonstop. Yuuta had grown so attached to his phone it was almost becoming a problem.
Not that he’d admit it.
“Okkotsu Yuuta!” She picks up the phone with the same eagerness she’d held the last time she’d called him. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“I was bored, and was hoping you had something interesting going on,” He sighed, falling backwards on the perfectly made bed in his room. Too perfect. It was always annoying to tug the covers out of their tightly tucked corners to comfortably sleep at night. “All I’ve been doing is train and I’m exhausted” He grumbles.
(y/n) hums through the speaker.
“Well if you’re that bored, I suppose I could tell you about a boy conflict of mine,” She suggests.
Just as Yuuta was starting to relax into the mattress, he felt his spine go stiff as a chill shot from his tailbone all the way up to his neck. It feels like his entire body has been drenched in icy water, freezing him solid.
“It’s okay if that’s too… weird, though” He’s drawn back to reality by (y/n’s) nervous laugh, something he doesn’t hear all that often. It’s strained and awkward, displaying every bit of anxious emotion that she felt.
“It’s not weird,” Yuuta’s not usually very good at lying, people always have a way of seeing right through him. He wonders if he’s only decent at telling this one because she’s not physically here. She can’t see the way his face contorts as it tries to stay neutral, or how his fingers start to tap against the comforter beneath him. “Boy conflict is… normal” He adds.
He’d meant that one, but she laughs anyway.
“I guess so,” She sighs through the speaker. “But I’ve never really had any before. Not like you get to meet a lot of people. But… I guess I met someone..?”
Yuuta’s gut twists, and he wonders if he ate something bad with his lunch. Maybe the chicken was undercooked? No, it seemed fine. He probably just ate too fast.
“That feels less like conflict and more like interest” His jaw feels tight when he talks. With his free hand, he rubs at it and tries to keep his teeth from clenching.
“Well, I am interested,”
Distantly, Yuuta thinks he should swallow some tums before he goes to bed so this stomach ache won’t keep him up all night.
“At least, I think I am,” (y/n) sighs again. “He’s not a sorcerer, I met him at a corner store I went to with Maki,” She explains. “He was cute and all, I guess we had a moment over the energy drinks? It’s kind of a blur, I didn’t really pay attention until he was handing me his number and now I have this number and- I don’t know. Is that weird?”
Yuuta’s not really sure what to tell her. He’s not really sure how he feels about it. His gut tells him that yes, it is weird, and she shouldn’t be going out with some guy she met at a convenience store. Anyone can walk into one of those, he thinks bitterly, his brow furrowed as he thought over her dilemma.
“Well, um, did he seem… nice?”
The question comes out pathetic. Yuuta’s smacking his hand over his face from how stupid he sounds, and feels.
“Yeah, I guess” (y/n) answers anyways.
“Then I guess ball’s in your court?” The suggestion comes out more as a question than he means it to. Yuuta thinks he wasn’t equipped for this, and maybe he should have told her it was a weird thing for them to talk about.
But he wouldn’t have meant that. He would talk to her about anything, and he wanted her to feel the same. He wanted her to talk about anything and everything she wanted. Lord knows he’d take an interest in it.
However the interest he has in this conversation isn’t quite like normal. His curiosity is less genuine. It feels like it’s lurching around in his mind, something disappointed yet irritable growing in it’s place. He hates the feeling. He hates feeling that way towards her. Even if it wasn’t directed at her specifically.
“You’re right,” There’s more determination in her voice now. “I should just text him, right?”
No, Yuuta’s jaw is clenched again, teeth grinding loudly. He hopes she can’t hear it through the phone. No, don’t let some stranger have your number. He doesn’t deserve it like I do.
“Right!” His voice is louder than he means to, as if trying to overpower the jealous train of thought that runs through his mind.
He’s sitting upright on the bed in a second, still rigid and uncomfortable, but his anxiety makes him want to pace. He needs to work off the awkward feeling in his chest somehow.
“Then I can see what he’s like,” (y/n) speaks as though she’s really telling herself what made the most sense. Yuuta’s nodding wordlessly, his eyes fixated on a spot on the floor that’s growing more blurry by the second. “And then if I like him… maybe we can go out or something” She mumbles the last part, clearly distracted.
He wonders if she’s texting him now. The idea of her reaching out to this random guy while she’s on the phone with him sends his heart plummeting to his already upset stomach.
Where were all of these nasty feelings coming from?
“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea” Yuuta’s speaking, but it feels distant, he’s not exactly sure of what he’s saying.
“Alright. I’ll text him later, then,”
He’s relieved that she wasn’t doing it this very moment, but there was still an unsettling pit in his stomach knowing she was bound to reach out at some point.
“Thanks, Yuuta. So, what’s been going on with you?”
It takes a while of chatting and pacing the room before Yuuta feels like himself again. He’s lucky there wasn’t a circle burned in the shape of his track in the tightly coiled carpeting of his room, certainly he would’ve had to call Gojo for a favor if he was billed for such damage.
Eventually the nasty feeling in his chest settles and he’s sitting in the bed again, the notebook he was drafting up today’s report on propped on his legs and his phone at his side, (y/n’s) voice on speaker as she tells him about the rest of her and Maki’s outing in the shopping district.
As it always does, time goes by too quickly, and soon enough she’s yawning through the speaker and telling him it was getting too late for her.
“But thanks for calling, Yuuta. I was starting to think you didn’t know phones worked both ways” She teases softly.
Had she been waiting for him to call?
“Yeah, anytime. I just… you know the time difference… I don’t ever want to bother you”
“You? Bother me?” She giggles. “After you let me talk your ear off about a boy, I don’t think that’s what’s happening here,” She tells him.
The nasty feeling swells again.
“Besides, you could never bother me,” She adds, her tone much softer. Almost sweet. Yuuta can’t tell if his stomach is convulsing or doing flips. “But call again sometime, m’kay?”
“Okay,” He says, hopeful, and just as eager as he felt. “G’night, (y/n)”
“Bye Yuuta, goodnight!”
His phone lights up with the low battery icon once the call is over. He’s slow to plug the charger into it and leave it on his nightstand for the evening, his mind still mulling over everything she’d told him. Or more so, how he’d felt taking in all that information.
He couldn’t have possibly been jealous, right? Not over some random guy. Not because of her. They were friends, after all. Friends that didn’t even get that close until after he left. In his time at Jujutsu Tech he’d only spoken to her a handful of times, and mostly in passing. It wouldn’t feel right to have something like jealousy spark up now. No, he was probably just worried for her, seeing as he couldn’t look out for her when he’s thousands of miles away. Yeah, that was it.
It couldn’t have anything to do with the way he felt his world light up when she laughed. Or that getting a text message from her in the sound effect that he’d picked out just for her contact had serotonin spiking in his brain.
None of those things were connected at all.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
The fourth time they talk on the phone, unfortunately, he has to hear about this guy again.
Yuuta’s not even sure he knows his name. He thinks (y/n) must’ve mentioned it once or twice in their texts, but it’s never quite stuck, and honestly, Yuuta doesn’t want to ask.
Not that he cares- it wasn’t like that at all. It had simply been too long for it to feel appropriate to ask. He didn’t want her to think he didn’t listen, is all.
He’d called one evening when yet again he felt like putting off writing up his report. It had almost become a habit to reach out to her as soon as he was stalling, or bored. He didn’t have much to talk about, he never really did, but he had been eager to tell her about some new cuisine he’d tried that he’d thought she might like.
There was a pesky thought in the back of his mind about her visiting him for a few days. Only pesky due to how often it presented itself, even when he should’ve been focused on more pressing matters. He knew it was bad when Miguel had taken notice and smacked him upside the head to get him to pay attention- on this earth, preferably, he’d said.
But he couldn’t help it. The idea of having her here, for a few days or a few weeks, had become his go-to daydream. He already knew everything he’d want to show her, the busy, colorful markets and the good food Yuuta hadn’t known existed until coming here. To how pretty the beaches were at sunset, especially when the little hermit crabs would wake up and wander around the shore, he thinks she’d like that a lot.
Even just the idea of having her around to hang out with and chat about anything and nothing, just like how they do through their phones, had his chest buzzing with warmth and excitement. Even though it was all in his head and logic told him she probably couldn’t make such a trip. She had her own assignments and lessons after all, and technically he was supposed to be working.
Nonetheless, when he found himself getting bored, his mind drifted off to pretending she was there with him to keep him company. Sometimes it even did the trick.
Tonight when he calls her, he’s kicking around the idea of bringing it up. Maybe if she took it well enough he could reach out to Gojo about it, surely he had the social standing and the funds to let her visit. His heart is thrumming in his chest just thinking about it, every ring of the dial tone putting him further on the edge of his seat.
It rings a total of five times before she finally answers. It’s not all that late in Tokyo, just half past nine, but suddenly Yuuta worries that this wasn’t a good time to call.
“Hey,” He’s the first to speak, grinning from ear to ear when the line finally clicks and she’s answered the call. “Is this a bad time?”
“Uh, n-no,” She stutters back, voice quiet and a little raspier than usual. Had she been sleeping? She speaks before he can double check if it was an okay time to talk. “I’m not doing anything. What’s up?”
Yuuta can’t quite put his finger on it, but it certainly sounds like it’s a bad time. Her voice is lacking it’s usual mirth, and she sounds like she’s purposefully trying not to raise her voice. His smile begins to fall as his brain starts to stir with worry.
“Nothing, really. Just… wanted to talk, I guess,” It feels a little embarrassing to admit, but for once, she’s not teasing him. It’s strange, not hearing her softly poke fun at him when he’d clearly given her an opening to do so. “What’re you doing?”
“It’s almost ten here, I’m in bed”
The words almost come out cold, a bitterness to them that Yuuta wasn’t used to. If it weren’t for the crack in her voice, he might’ve thought she was upset with him. But there’s a noticeable little hitch in the middle of her words that tells him it’s not annoyance he’s picking up on.
“Hey,” His voice is quiet as he sits on his bed, brows furrowing as he feels the mood shift even in a room thousands of miles away from hers. “Is something wrong?”
“No” Comes her instant answer, but it’s not remotely believable. Her voice is so quiet and muffled it barely comes through the speaker, and shortly after he hears a shuffling that sounds like a heap of blankets being tossed around.
“C’mon, wanna talk about it?” He pressed again, dragging his finger over the crisp comforter on the bed to create misshapen invisible designs. “What happened, (y/n)?” He asks again, voice softer than before.
The tiniest of sniffles could be heard, and his heart sinks at the idea of her sitting alone in bed and crying. Whatever caused it he was sure he could find a way to solve it. It wasn’t often that Yuuta felt cocky with his Special Grade status, but in this moment he was sure he was the most powerful person in the world, and if something had bothered her this much, he’d certainly be able to take care of it.
“It’s- it’s stupid,” The high pitch in the cracking of her voice was more evident the louder she spoke. He’s worried she was going to leave it at that, maybe tell him to leave her alone or hang up altogether. Then he hears a wobbly inhale before she’s whimpering through her words again. “I’m so stupid, Yuuta, what was I thinking?”
His heart cracks with every word she speaks. He’s not sure what put her in such pain, but he swears, he’s experiencing it too just knowing she was hurting. He places his free hand over his chest to ease the hollow feeling that carves itself there.
“What d’ya mean? You’re not stupid, not remotely. C’mon, y’know that,” He tries to keep his voice light and gentle, even though the growing put in his stomach had his throat closing up. “What happened? Talk to me” He pleads softly.
(y/n) sniffles, before trying to even out her breathing again so she didn’t sound so pathetic when she talked.
“I don’t even want to tell you, it’s so stupid,” She admits. “B-but everyone else is busy, o-or gone and I- I don’t want to cry about it anymore,”
Had she been crying for a while? His heart seizes at the thought.
“Promise you won’t laugh at me?” She mumbles. Yuuta nodded his head rapidly in response.
“Yeah, yeah of course I promise. I won’t laugh at you” He tells her with grave sincerity.
She sighs, breath still shaky, but she does her best to talk through it.
In a wobbly, quiet voice, she tells him everything. About how she had plans to meet up with convenience-store-guy that Yuuta still hadn’t caught the name of. How she’d taken plenty of time to plan out her outfit and put herself together, how in the meantime he’d been nothing short of flirtatious and sweet, leading her to believe he’d been eager to go out with her. She tells him how an hour before they were set to meet up a block away from campus, she’d stopped hearing from him altogether. She laughs humorlessly as she explains she’d sent nearly ten messages asking where he was or if he needed to reschedule before she’d dropped it completely and walked herself back home.
“No text, no call. Absolutely n-nothing,” She mutters bitterly. “But I don’t g-get it, did I do something wr-wrong?”
“Of course not,” Yuuta sighed, trying to release the tension of his building irritation so he could keep his focus on comforting her. “He’s just… he’s stupid, okay? I don’t know what his deal is, but you dodged a bullet, for sure. If that’s how he acts before a first date, imagine how terrible he would’ve been by the twentieth”
Surprisingly, he’s not terrible when it comes to consoling her. (y/n) hums tiredly in agreement. It doesn’t necessarily take the pain away, but there is some relief in knowing it never would have worked out.
“Yeah,” She breathes out. “But… I was excited, you know?” She mumbles. “I’ve never been on a real date before, at least I don’t think I have, but I think I’d know,” She explains. “I just… I thought I’d feel normal for a night. I- I thought he liked me. I kinda liked him, too. But mostly I…” She trails off, and they both remain silent for a few beats, each processing their own mess of thoughts. “I liked the idea of being liked, I guess. Is that selfish?”
“Of course not,” Yuuta chuckles warmly. “Everyone wants that. It’s completely normal,” He says. “Besides, it’s not like you were imagining things. He did have an interest. Who wouldn’t?”
The last part comes out before he can realize what he’s actually saying, and his face grows hot with the insinuation of his words. He’s stammering to fix it, which doesn’t help him much, but he tries.
“W-what I mean is that there will be plenty of other people who will meet you and fall for you completely and y-you’ll be swarmed with phone numbers and people who like you!”
He doesn’t mean to raise his voice, but his nerves are starting to take over as the word vomit continues. (y/n’s) quiet as she listens intently, and the longer she doesn’t speak up to stop him, the worse his rambling becomes.
“You’ll have to fight ‘em all off, you know? There’s so many people out there who haven’t been lucky enough to meet you yet, and when they do you’ll get to experience everything you want. You know what?”
There’s a soft ‘what?’ from her end before he continues on his rant.
“It’s a good thing your first date wasn’t with that prick anyways. It wouldn’t have been fair. It wouldn’t have been right at all if your first date was boring or shitty or- or anything short of special and electric, okay?”
(y/n) still doesn’t say anything, but she’s hanging onto every word he says, even when they’re rushed and he’s stumbling over them, all of her focus is on what he’s saying.
“Because you deserve it. And anyone who is remotely worth your time will know that. And they’ll- they’ll text you too much before you finally go out, because they’ll be nervous because you make them nervous because you’ll be so out of their league, you know?” He doesn’t even pause before continuing. “And they’ll pick you up on time if not early because they’ll respect your time, and they’ll have flowers- the prettiest, most expensive bouquet they could find- right? A bouquet even Gojo couldn’t afford,”
She lets out a watery laugh that has Yuuta easing up in his rambling, a warm feeling planting in his chest in the hopes she’d smiled, even just a little bit, even if it was through her tears, he’d provoked just a little bit of joy from her.
“And… and if you’re anything short of completely swept away, then you’ll call Maki and she’ll come get you so you don’t have to spend another second wasting your time with a loser that doesn’t deserve you”
His chest is heaving a bit when he finally stops, not realizing he was losing his breath the longer he rambled on. His face feels hot as he processes everything he’d just dumped on her, and he prays that it wasn’t as pathetic as he’s worrying it was.
There’s a few small sniffles before (y/n) speaks up.
“Well, if you were back home, I’d just call you,” She says softly. Her voice doesn’t sound as strained as before, and Yuuta hopes it means she’d stopped crying. “You really think I’ll be able to find all that?”
“Yeah, ‘course I do,” He mumbles back, although his words hold absolute certainty. “Not a doubt in my mind”
She giggles, a real little laugh that he can almost see. It’s short and sweet and it has him elated that he’d lightened her mood. He’s not sure what exactly he did, but he’s grateful that the word vomit was beneficial for once.
“Thank you, Yuuta,” She murmurs. “You’re right, and, I actually feel a little better,”
His heart soars, and he’s smiling to himself again with pride and relief.
“I’m still going to watch Pride and Prejudice before bed, though. I’d already committed to it and I can’t just go to sleep now” She tells him seriously. Yuuta laughs, falling back on his bed as comfortably as he could with his feet still planted on the ground.
“I’ve never seen it,” He tells her. “But don’t stay up too-”
“Never?” She interrupts with a gasp of shock. “Yuuta, that’s criminal”
He chuckles again. “Is it really?”
“Yes, very much so,” She tells him. “When you’re back we have to watch it, okay?”
“Yeah, sure-”
“No, promise” She demanded for the second time that night.
“I promise,” He repeats, smiling to himself as his gaze wanders the ceiling.
He couldn’t help but think that if she were to visit him, they could spend a whole afternoon here in this room watching her movie, probably eating snacks and making a mess of the place as they got cozy for it. This room had always remained perfectly tidy, so much so it was almost boring. Having her in it would surely brighten it up and give it some life, he thinks.
“We’ll watch it as soon as I’m back” He tells her.
“Okay. Good. You were on thin ice for a second, you know” She murmurs sleepily. He can hear her yawning.
“Was I?” He muses. “Is that what it takes to get you to hang up on me?”
“Are you suggesting I wouldn’t?” She quips back, and he’s glad that her teasing nature has come around again.
“I’m suggesting you never have before” Yuuta shrugs. His fingers are pressed firmly against the back of his phone, keeping it close to his ear so he couldn’t miss the way she laughed at him.
“Yeah, well, maybe you’re just good company,” She hums. “But it is late and I want to watch this movie, so I guess there’s a first for everything”
His face is warm and he feels full, like he’d just eaten a good meal, despite him having skipped lunch in order to call her. Yuuta smiles lazily at the blank ceiling as he hums back to her.
“Alright, enjoy your movie,” He says. “But, uh, you can call me again. Y’know, if you… need to. Or want to”
There’s a pause before she responds.
“Okay,” It comes out in a hushed whisper. “Have a good rest of your day, Yuuta”
The time difference has his lips pinching into a frown, but he quickly tries to hold onto the last few seconds of joy he has while talking to her.
“Goodnight, (y/n)”
The call ends, and he drops his phone to the mattress, letting it sit forgotten beside his head. He stays put in his semi-comfortable position, still staring at the ceiling as his hands fall to his sides. His chest felt tight, and his mind a little dazed as he replayed the call over and over in his mind. The hurt he’d felt when she was hurting, the relief he’d felt when she was happy. It was overwhelming, the way his own emotions were thrown through the wringer depending on hers.
His heart was hammering in his chest so hard, Yuuta knew he couldn’t deny his feelings any longer.
He was falling for her. Fast, and hard.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
[yuuta]: [attachment]: one image [yuuta]: i think you’d like these little guys
[y/n]: :D a hermit crab!!! [y/n]: so cute! can’t believe ur holding it, i’d be scared of getting pinched
[yuuta]: i’m special grade, i’m not scared of anything :)
[y/n]: getting real comfy with throwing that title around, huh? you must think so low of me, a mere second grade. i could never amount to the *mighty* okkotsu yuuta.
[yuuta]: lol shut up it’s just a crab
[y/n]: he is super cute. his name is yuu now :)
[yuuta]: bcuz u miss me so much? :)
[y/n]: bcuz he’s small and feisty. that little claw looks ready to attack :>
[yuuta]: ok i’ll admit he did pinch me once. [yuuta]: but in his defense i did pick him up and i am a big scary human
[y/n]: lmfao [y/n]: i thought we just established ur small and feisty
[yuuta]: i don’t think i like being called small
[y/n]: tiny [y/n]: smol [y/n]: just a baby
[yuuta]: are we still talking abt the crab??
[y/n]: and maybe a little cute [y/n]: if we’re still talking about similarities :)
[yuuta]: cute???????
[y/n]: when u first came to jujutsu tech u were kinda like a hermit crab LMFAO [y/n]: i think if u had a shell u would’ve lived in it for WEEKS XD
[yuuta]: ._.
[y/n]: :)
[yuuta]: ur being a menace today [yuuta]: more than usual
[y/n]: it’s bcuz gojo’s lesson plan so far has been fighting the air :/ idk how he’s a teacher. i’m definitely not learning anything [y/n]: except that i might be able to take him in a fight without cursed energy
[yuuta]: my money is on u :) [yuuta]: but also i’ll be there with ice cream when u get ur ass kicked
[y/n]: <;/3[y/n]: that’s my broken heart[y/n]: you’ve broken my heart.
[yuuta]: lol [yuuta]: but there will be ice cream [yuuta]: <3
[y/n]: … [y/n]: ok i might forgive u
[yuuta]: is it bcuz i’m cute [yuuta]: :)) [yuuta]: ?? (y/n) ?? [yuuta]: :(( [yuuta]: don’t ghost me ik ur not paying attention in class
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
The tenth phone call they have, (y/n’s) the one calling him.
It’s one in the morning his time, so he’s sound asleep on the mattress that still feels stiff after about three months of him sleeping on it. Every day he longs more and more to go back home to his cozy room and his friends and her.
When his ringtone blares, a pretty tune that’s suddenly the most obnoxious sound on the planet, he’s awake right away. Jolting from his slumber and reaching around blindly in search of the device. He nearly shoves everything on his bedside table right off, his arm swinging with too much force in his desperate attempt to pick up the phone.
Even once it’s in his hand, it takes him a second to steadily press the accept button, his vision blurry and sleep still threatening to take back over. It takes him a few tries before he’s answering the call and laying the phone on his pillow next to his head.
“Hello?” He rasps out.
“Yuuta!” (y/n’s) all too cheery for one in the morning, but he distantly remembers it’s the early evening in Tokyo. His eyes squeeze shut as he rubs at them tiredly. “Yuuta! How could you not tell me the good news!?”
She’s yelling, and even without his phone on speaker he hears her perfectly fine just having the device laying next to his head. It’s a shock to his ears, his mind buzzing as it tries to wake him up to deal with the noise. But he snuggles deeper into his pillow, rolling onto his side to press his face into the feathery plushness.
“-was gonna wait,” He mumbles sleepily. “Y’know, ‘til I was awake, ‘nd it was a normal time” His words are followed by a low chuckle. The pillow suddenly becomes the comfiest thing he’s ever touched, and even the stiff mattress becomes a little more inviting.
“Wait?” She repeats the word before gasping dramatically. “Okkotsu Yuuta, I had to hear you were coming back from Toge!”
He chuckles again at her antics. He’s still exhausted, but his chest feels warm hearing the excitement in her voice.
“Do you know how long it took him to tell me? Hm? He did charades, Yuuta. Charades!” The image has him laughing a little more, shoulders shaking just a little bit as he listens to her go on. “I’m terrible at charades by the way. The whole thing took, like, fifteen minutes. I was pissed he couldn’t just write it down”
“Toge’s jus’ like that” He mumbles.
“But you told him before me?”
Yuuta’s not sure if the offense in her tone is fake or not. To play it safe, he covers his tracks.
“No,” He sighs. “Gojo pr’lly told him. He only just told me before I went to bed”
“And you didn’t even text,” (y/n) huffs, but he can hear the laugh she’s trying to hold back. He smiles in relief knowing she was just sticking to her bit. “Well you better actually text me as soon as you’re back!” She says threateningly. “We have plans. You promised”
“How could I forget?” He hums, voice low and growing quieter as his body beckons him to fall back to sleep.
“Okay. Good,” She says definitively. “I guess I’ll let you go back to sleep. Sorry for waking you up”
He hums in amusement.
“Don’t be sorry for being so excited to see me you couldn’t contain it,” He teases quietly. (y/n’s) silent on the other end of the line. “And don’t be embarrassed, either” He adds.
“I’m not embarrassed!” She squeaks, making him chuckle some more. Maybe he was just deprived of his sleep, but she was extra cute when he was the one doing the teasing. “But I… I am excited to see you”
He smiles into his pillow, sighing contentedly into it.
“I know sweetheart,” He mumbles. “And ‘m excited to see you too”
She’s failing to stifle a giggle through the speaker.
“Okay okay, you’re clearly wiped. I’ll let you go,” She says. “Goodnight, Yuuta”
“Night, (y/n)”
He’s asleep before she even ends the call, drawn back into rest by the suddenly comfortable bedding and the sweet echo of her laughter playing in his mind.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
(y/n) had been adamant about having their movie night the same night he gets back to Tokyo. With the jet lag and the time difference keeping him awake against his wishes, she was sure that having a relaxed evening inside would be the best way to ease him back into being at home.
Yuuta, on the other hand, tried to make it clear that they didn’t have to rush into it. His flight would land at eleven in the evening, and he was sure he wouldn’t even be back to campus before midnight. While it might have felt like early afternoon to him, (y/n) would have already had a full day of lessons and training, and likely be exhausted by that time.
However she was stubborn. It didn’t matter how much he tried to persuade her otherwise, she remained certain that she would stay awake long enough to greet him and have a simple, fun night set up for them.
And who was he to fight too hard against it anyways? The idea of her going through the trouble and wanting to stay up so late just to see him gave him energy for the whole day. He was smiling through customs, bouncing his leg waiting to board, texting her as much as possible before he’d have to put his phone on airplane mode, and greeting every employee and flight attendant with so much delight it was infectious. He’d even gotten an extra package of goldfish for his delightful friendliness.
He’s as quick as can be picking up his checked luggage and rushing out of the airport. Anyone who saw might have thought he was late, but in actuality he was trying to be as early as possible. He’d practically crashed into Ijichi, almost racing past him, but just as quickly recognition flashed in his eyes and he gave the manager a bone crushing hug, forgetting his strength.
The man was alarmed by the affection, awkwardly patting the boy’s back before stepping out of the embrace and nervously laughing. He leads Yuuta out of the building and towards the sleek black car that’s waiting to take him home. Yuuta’s positively buzzing the whole ride. It’s obvious that Ijichi is tired, it’s almost the middle of the night after all, but he does find some amusement in Yuuta’s pure and unfiltered excitement.
However when the boy shouts for a pit stop at a local twenty-four hour grocery shop, the man almost drives the car right off the road, slamming on the brakes and pulling over roughly enough to wake him up completely. If Yuuta notices the harsh driving maneuvers, he doesn’t say anything. Simply grabbing his wallet and rushing inside the building. Ijichi swears all these kids pumped full of muscles and adrenaline would be the death of him.
Yuuta comes back with a full paper bag and a grin, thanking the manager as they continue the drive home without a hitch.
He shouldn’t have the energy he does when they arrive, but Ijichi watches in shock as Yuuta easily carries all of his bags and the delicate groceries and breaks into a full sprint for the dorms, hollering one last thank you as he does.
He’s unceremonious as he drops his things in his room. There is a certain comfort in being back in a space he can contently call his own, but the welcome home nap he was so eager to take in his own bed could wait. He leaves his things and is swept away by his own two feet as he hurries down the hall.
There’s the faintest of light peeking out under only one door, all the others tightly shut and seemingly dark inside. It was past midnight, and there were lessons first thing tomorrow morning. He’s hesitant for only a second as he reaches the door, but adrenaline takes over again and he’s knocking as quietly as he can.
He can barely hear someone inside, although he doesn’t make out any real words. Just to be safe, he knocks again.
“H’llo?” A tired voice calls back a little louder this time.
Yuuta’s hand is shaking when he reaches for the latch and slides the door open, just barely peeking inside.
He’d seen (y/n’s) room maybe once in passing, but he hadn’t taken a real glance, and definitely never stepped inside. Now, he takes it all in with his face lit up in pure astonishment.
It’s decorated with string lights, soft and twinkling slowly here and there. Just enough to give some ambience without it being overpowering. Her small television is flickering with the title screen of her adored movie. She’s curled up in a heap of blankets on the bed, and for a few seconds he thinks she’s asleep. But her head tiredly lifts to see who her visitor was, and like a switch, she’s full of energy.
“Yuuta!”
His name falls from her lips in soft awe, and she’s throwing her blankets back and sitting upright, shifting to get out of bed. Yuuta’s beaming back at her, stepping into the room and turning to slide the door shut behind him. The others would be quite annoyed if they were to be woken up at this hour.
She’s stumbling a bit towards him, her arms outstretched and her face in a lazy grin. It takes no time at all for her to cross the room and throw her arms around him to hug him tightly. Yuuta’s careful to hold his bag of goodies to the side so they don’t get crushed when he reciprocates the tight hug.
He hadn’t hugged her before he left for Africa. He hadn’t hugged anyone, actually. Just waved as he bid them goodbye. Hugging her now feels like something he’d waited for for ages, and finally getting to hold her against him has his heart soaring.
“You’re finally home,” She’s smiling into his chest, and pulls away only so she can grin up at him, properly taking in his pretty eyes and longer hair. She’s just about to comment on the change in style before she notices the bag in his hand, and focuses on it instead. “Did you bring gifts?” She asks with a playful smirk.
“Uh- yeah, I mean, sorta,” He stammers, his face getting warmer than he would’ve liked as he opens the bag and glances inside, suddenly apprehensive about handing them to her. “It’s not from Africa, but they are necessities,” He tells her.
(y/n) raises a brow curiously, before prompting him to show her what he brought.
Yuuta’s sheepish as he reaches in the bag and produces a family size package of lemon flavored oreos. It seemed like a great idea when he’d picked them up, but now he feels anxiety twisting in stomach as he presents them to her.
“Lemon oreos!” (y/n’s) nothing short of delighted as she takes the package from his hands, already peeling back the plastic to snatch one and take a bite right away. She hums as she finishes the cookie, her eyes twinkling with happiness as she seals the package again. “You remembered, thank you. We’ll definitely finish those tonight” She says with a laugh.
“Don’t worry, I brought my own snack, they’re all yours” He says softly. She brightens even further at the prospect.
“You really know the way to a woman’s heart, Okkotsu” She teases.
After months of getting teased over the phone, he finally gets to witness it first hand. Her cheeks are pink and her eyes shift between his and other spots around the room bashfully. He wonders if she was always so shy when she’d teased him before.
His smile softens as he reaches into the bag again, carefully holding the other gift as he pulls it from the bag. (y/n’s) eyes widen and her lips part as she takes in the sight of the beautiful arrangement of flowers he was holding. It was simple, a pretty bouquet of lilies, lily of the valley, to be specific, she recognized them as the same white flowers scattered around the courtyard. Her eyes were locked on the bouquet as Yuuta picked around it a bit, making sure every flower was perfect and presentable.
“It’s not, uh, the most expensive bouquet in the world,” He mumbles anxiously once he deems the flowers pretty enough to hand to her.
She looks up at him as though silently asking if they were really for her, her surprise evident in the way she stared at him in soft surprise before she finally took the flowers. Her movements are slow and so, so careful, not wanting to bend a single stem out of place.
“But, still, um,” With his hands free Yuuta begins to fiddle, scratching at the nape of his neck as he struggles to meet her gaze. “Y’know, I just wanted to… give you flowers”
A smile breaks out across her face as she leans close to them to take in a whiff, soothed by the gentle, clean scent that fills her nose.
“I love them,” She murmurs, still staring in awe at the pretty arrangement. “Can I take a picture?” She asks, and he nods wordlessly. He finally takes in a breath of air when she turns around to grab her phone from the bed, not having realized he’d been holding it since handing her the intimate gift.
What he doesn’t realize is she’s bounding back over to him with her phone in hand, the camera flipped around so she can take a selfie of her flowers with him very much in it.
“C’mon, smile!” She giggles as she turns her phone sideways, eyeing the image of him with his blushing face and wide eyes, obviously caught off guard.
She snaps the photo when he throws up a peace sign and gives the most relaxed smile he can, his eyes closed and his cheeks undeniably pink. (y/n) admires it before tucking her phone back into her pocket and clutching the flowers close to her chest lovingly.
“Thank you so much,” She gives them one last affectionate glance before tucking them carefully into a jar on her desk- after she dumped all the pens in it onto her workspace without a second thought. Yuuta almost laughed at how quickly she made the mess and left it in order for the bouquet to have a safe home. Once she’s sure they’re safe and sound, she turns back to him again.
It’s funny how out of place he looks standing in her doorway. Long legs and broad shoulders taking up more space in her room than she would’ve thought. She’d almost forgotten how large Yuuta was. Somehow, it made it funnier that he looked so lost. Like he didn’t want to take a step, and didn’t know what to do with his hands. She could tell he was trying his best to come across as comfortable as he could, but she could see the wince behind his smile, and his slowly shifting feet.
He looks out of place now, but she likes having him here. She likes that he smells like sandalwood, and something sweet like vanilla. She likes that he’s still holding the paper bag that he’d brought her gift in, not wanting to drop it somewhere in her room like a piece of litter. She likes that when their eyes meet he smiles, and crinkles form on his eyes that compliment his blushing face.
She likes everything about Yuuta, but right now, she likes that he was the first boy to ever bring her flowers most of all.
So despite her racing heart, she decides to tell him so.
“I’m glad you were the first guy to ever give me flowers”
Yuuta’s smile drops slightly as his face softens with surprise, eyebrows raising higher when she steps even closer to him.
He’s holding his breath again when she leans onto the tips of her toes and pressing a quick kiss to his warm cheek. The feeling of her lips brushing over his skin only makes it heat up more, and against his will he lets out a little gasp for air. (y/n) giggles when she stands flat on her feet again, her nose slightly wrinkled at her amusement at how easily Yuuta flusters.
She’s starting to think to herself that she should test just how much she can fluster him while he’s here, when he’s suddenly the one taking her breath away.
He steps forward to close the distance between them again, dropping the paper bag so he can slide his hands under her jaw, tilting it upwards so he can lean down and kiss her with ease. A gasp dies in the back of her throat just as his lips touch hers, the hesitation from her surprise only momentary.
For a soft kiss, Yuuta radiates so much passion her knees feel weak, and her hands are firm as they press into his shoulders, desperate to keep herself upright. Even his hands are gentle, their touch warm and featherlight against her face.
She longs to press impossibly closer and explore his every last dip and crevice, but for right now, everything is perfect. His gentleness, his sweetness, him, she couldn’t have hoped for a more lovely first kiss.
Just as the kiss was, he pulls away slowly, forehead still touching hers. A short sigh escapes him before his lips turn into a smile. (y/n) watches as his mouth stretches and curls, her own face mirroring the expression, before her eyes flicker up to his to see he’s staring down at her.
“Sorry, I-” He shakes his head, trying to find just the right words to tell her how long he’d been thinking about doing that. His mind is too foggy so he runs his mouth with abandon. “I’ve just really wanted to do that” He murmurs.
(y/n) giggles, her face blooming with color at the blatant confession. It had her heart going haywire even more after the kiss, and any hopes of being the one to fluster him goes out the window. She’s putty in his hands and he must know it.
“Don’t be sorry,” She whispers back, shyly averting her gaze, not that it does her any favors, he’s still cradling her face and keeping her so close that it felt there was no shying away from him. “I… I was hoping to talk to you, um, when you got back,” She says, the grin on her face betraying her as she tried to casually mention her feelings for him. “About, y’know, hanging out more, ‘n stuff”
Yuuta chuckles at her bashful nonchalance, nodding his head back at her with an excited gleam in his eyes.
“I’d like to hang out more and stuff,” He hums, dropping his hands from her face and nodding to where she’d set up the movie hours earlier. “Should we start with watching your movie?”
Excitement flashes in her eyes as she nods her head back at him, before taking his hand and tugging him over to the comfort of her bed.
“Settle in, your mind is about to be blown by literary perfection and cinematic masterpiece. This is their love child”
He chuckles, falling into the mattress with her and getting settled against the mountain of pillows at her headboard while she searches her blankets for the remote. His chest is still vibrating with adrenaline, but as he sinks into a comfortable bed for the first time in months, he finds himself relaxing.
Despite his body feeling like it was the late afternoon, he feels as though he could go right to sleep.
It helps when (y/n) passes out first. Her body slumps against his and she snores softly against his chest. It’s such an amusing sight he can’t help but take a photo for her to wake up to in her messages. He pauses the movie so that they can pick it up from where they left off tomorrow, and then settles deeper into the cozy bed.
The comfort he felt with every text received from her, every phone call to keep him company in the last few months of being away and being alone, it seems almost personified now. Resting here beside her, simply sharing the same space, Yuuta feels the same wave of relief now. He can’t help but smile to himself as he settles under the covers, being careful to not disturb her peaceful slumber.
He’s asleep in a matter of minutes. The warmth of her body so close and the plush mattress working together to put his mind at such ease he didn’t even notice he was tired until he was closing his eyes and drifting off.
It was good to be home.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
[ fuck it, i love you // fuck it, i love you // fuck it, i love you // i really do ]
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
xoxo ~ jordie
a/n: gojo pays the international phone bills obviously so don't be commenting on it
indi is such a cute name to say omg indi indi indi indi indi indi indi indi I LOVE IT
IM YELLIMG?!?! i love u sm. hehe
JUJUTSU KAISEN - TWITTER LINKS
GOJO
Open up for daddy (blindfold core)
He loves watching his angel ride him wild
Slapping your cute cunt until you whine
He has you doing all the work
Watching you grind back on his dick
Think you can handle this, baby?
GETO
He’s got you on all fours
Creampied your sweet little butt
Suck on his fingers like a good girl
Having you take his fingers instead
He was supposed to just check on you
CHOSO
Sucking your cute boyfriend off
Fucking you on your bed
Eating his favorite girl out
Hopefully his roomate won’t walk in
Titty job
SUKUNA
hes got you tied up
mirror sex
he likes you best in red
You've been a bad girl
You like it rough?
SHOKO
Kissing your pretty little lips
Taking care of your boobies
Rubbing your pussy
Watching you squirm underneath her
Eating your sweet ass out
NANAMIN
Fucking his girl good morning
Cumming on your chest
Spooning you
You look so pretty sprawled out for him
Making sure you feel good
for those of you who have been asking for other characters also, yes I’m aware there’s no toji but I rlly just hate that guy, sorry! ;(
house rules (roommate au)
gojo satoru x fem!reader
summary:
"satoru keeps an infinite amount of space between him and everyone else."
warnings: mentions of alcohol and drinking, slight angst, mentions of tampons (terrifying), suggestive comments, absurdly long, alternate universe characters
a/n: to all of my frequent readers--i have never claimed to be sane :)
*
in the broad spectrum of things, opening the door in nothing but your bathrobe and a ridiculously bright orange clay mask is not the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you.
oh no, puking on your first ever date at seventeen definitely takes the cake. finding your seventh-grade friends bent over a table reading your diary--in which you wrote many explicit things about them, not to mention, yourself--might be even worse. riding your bike into the pond by your house in front of all of your--much older, much cooler--neighbors, even. picking up your coffee in your favorite cafe and spilling it, which was not only devastating but humiliating because you managed to spill your mocha on every other drink waiting there (effectively banning you from returning) still haunts your dreams. even walking down the street and trying to pretend like you didn't just trip over air in front of every single one of your peers still lingers in your mind, waiting for a moment of peace before it attacks.
you're used to the feeling of dread in your stomach and the nights spent thinking about all of these moments, like a scrapbook in your mind--just there to make your skin itch.
but, it does get a little bit worse when you realize the man you've opened the door to is none other than a potential roommate; and when you remember that you forgot he was coming.
or when you have to pull your robe tighter around your abdomen just to make sure that you don't give this man a show before you even shake his hand.
"is this apartment 214?" he asks, looking right at you--and your legs, naturally--with a confused grin on his face, but grin nonetheless.
so immediately you slam the door.
you turn around, with wide eyes, face crackling from the movement, and check your phone frantically. yes, it is the 18th, and yes it is 11:32, which means he was supposed to be here over a half-an-hour ago.
and also you've just slammed the door in his--satoru gojo, the only person who's even bothered to respond to your ad about an available room--face.
oh, fuck.
so you groan, refraining from knocking your head against the door just in case he can still hear, and open it again. a little bit less this time.
"gojo?" you ask, voice rough and slightly irritated.
"the one and only. i'm pretty sure this is the right apartment," he says, and you don't fail to notice his tone of voice as he continues, "but if it's not, then fate must've brought us together."
you narrow your eyes, hoping that he doesn't notice the specks of dust that ebb from your skin. "you're late."
"and you're less than dressed."
"i thought you stood me up."
he snorts. "so you started an impromptu spa day? or was this supposed to be another perk of the apartment?"
you glower, opening the door a bit more just so he can see the fury in your eyes. "i don't think someone who doesn't even text to cancel has any right to judge my self-care practices."
"i didn't cancel. i'm here."
"you're late."
"so i've heard..." he drawls.
you blink at him, and he blinks back--or at least, you're assuming. because he's wearing sunglasses even though it's cloudy outside.
and he's aggressively taller than you. he might not even fit through the door.
you don't look away, waiting for him to break. which he does because you're well-practiced in men of his standard. "so, are you going to let me in?" he asks.
"are you going to apologize for being late?"
"i'm sorry that i'm late," he says, immediately, with an air of fake sincerity. "i got stuck in traffic. i would've called, but my phone died."
"really?"
the smile reappears, as if from magic. "no, but did it make you want to let me in?"
you glare even harder--which is tough, honestly--and begin to shut the door. until your plan is interrupted by a foot. "excuse you," you say, to this man, who you already hate. and his stupid chelsea boots.
"look, i'm sorry. i'm trying to ease the tension--because honestly i wasn't expecting to get an eyeful this early in the morning, and you seem uncomfortable--"
you slam the door against his foot again.
gojo doesn't even wince. "and also, you're, like, the only person with a room in the middle of october. and i... could really use a place to put my bed. so, can i look around, at least? i'll keep my eyes closed every time i'm facing your direction. i can even give you my rent money today if it works out."
something in his voice already implies that it will.
and, well. despite your very short robe and your very dry face mask, he is the only person who's even inquired about the room. and you desperately need a roommate; someone to clean up with, someone to make coffee for, someone to argue about toilet paper direction with, and, most importantly, someone who has money and can keep you from getting evicted from the only place you've lived since high school.
so you sigh. think about moving back home and suffering at the will of your parents.
it takes about three seconds to say, "will you wait out here while i get dressed?"
an eyebrow peeks out from behind the sunglasses, as white as his hair. "how long?"
"ten minutes. maybe twenty."
"do you have a chair?" he asks and moves his foot from the door.
and so you close it without answering and rush to your room to find something that's still clean.
there's nothing that you'll actually wear, but satoru gojo doesn't deserve your fresh appearance anyway. he can have day-old wrinkled jeans and a t-shirt you got when you were twelve.
as slow as humanly possible, you remove the face mask, trying to keep your hair out of the way, and think about putting on makeup--which you probably would have done, had you remembered he was even coming--but decide not to.
in reality, it only takes about seven minutes for you to look mostly presentable and get rid of the mugs you left cluttered around the dining room table.
but you wait an extra four, just to mess with him.
and then, eleven minutes later, you open the door again to the man leaning against the wall, playing what looks like candy crush on his phone.
you attempt a fake smile.
"hey," he says, with that same grin, "you have clothes."
you drop your face. "i will close this."
he isn't phased, just pockets his phone and leans in to look behind you at the entryway.
you roll your eyes, but open the door anyway, and usher him in. he rubs his feet against your welcome mat and toys with a keychain you have hanging from a coat rack, then looks to you, like he's waiting for a tour. which, you guess, he is.
"there's only two rooms, one bath. it's not very big, so if you need a lot of space..."
"i can manage," he says, and follows you as you walk into the kitchen. "did you decorate?"
"um... sort of."
"sort of?"
"i, uh, had a roommate before and he bought most of the decorations before i moved in. but i've added a few things. i'm not picky about aesthetics."
gojo hums. "why'd he move out?"
"we were together and he cheated on me," you say, flatly, as you have been for the past month and a half. "and then told me i couldn't use his netflix account anymore after i broke up with him."
gojo merely blinks and gestures toward the wall behind you. "so you didn't buy that dancing frog thing?"
you turn around, rolling your eyes. "no. i forgot that was there."
"okay, good, 'cause that's hideous."
you snort, but nod your head and walk down the hallway. gojo's footsteps follow you as you open the door to his potential bedroom. "it's the bigger of the two," you tell him, "but the bathroom is next to mine."
"did you change rooms?"
"what?"
"when your ex moved out. why take the smaller one?"
"oh," you rub a finger against the wall, rubbing dust off of it. "it was his room before we got together. and then we shared my current room. this was his man... den?" you try, shaking your head. "gaming room? slaughterhouse?"
gojo snorts.
"what?"
"oh, nothing," he says, airy like he's teasing you. "just curious."
you step back so he can walk around, check the carpets for stains, or look for drywall you could've hidden a body behind. but he doesn't, only watches you as you furrow your brows.
"you're not going to look around?"
"it looks like the pictures."
"yeah, but what if there are, like, bugs in the carpet? blood on the walls?"
"are there bugs in the carpet?" he asks. "blood on the walls?"
"not that i know of..."
"great, then it's perfect," he says, and steps out of the room again, whistling as he goes.
this time, you follow him, like he's the one giving the tour.
he pauses at the door a couple of feet down. "this your room?"
"yes."
"can i see?"
you scowl. "no. what do you mean 'it's perfect?'"
"i mean, i'd like to live here. it's nice. besides the frog."
you lean against the wall, trying to inspect him for any mechanical parts. is this a ploy? some joke? "you've barely been here five minutes."
"twenty with all the time i waited outside..."
"you can't just take one look and say 'yup, this is good.'"
"can't you?" he asks, challenging.
"no."
gojo's grin seems to widen, impossibly. "well, i'm not picky."
and somehow you doubt that.
but you don't get the chance to tell him that, or anything else, because he leans against the wall, still smiling at you, and asks, "so, are we roommates now?"
"you haven't even seen the lease. or heard about the house rules."
"house rules?" he repeats, dubiously. like you're making this up (which you are).
"yes."
"such as?"
"no..." you pause, 'cause this is a fickle argument. something about his stupid smile makes you want to argue with him. or maybe it's the hair. or the sunglasses. "murdering anyone in the apartment."
he laughs, unexpectedly, and sighs. "well, i guess i'll take my murdering someplace else."
"and... you can't leave any utensils in the sink."
"okay."
"and i'm not cleaning up any beard shavings, or sharing my tampons with you, or any people you have over."
"these are very extensive," he says, unserious. "anything else?"
"i..." your brows furrow. "no hogging the bathroom. hot water is fickle. and you have to recycle."
"it might be challenging, but we'll figure it out."
"these are not negotiable."
he only continues to smile at you.
eventually, after staring back with a frown that feels slightly permanent for more than a minute, you sigh again. at least you won't have to worry about moving out.
"fine. you still want to live here?"
"mmhmm."
"okay," and you stick your hand out for him to shake like this is a business transaction.
and it seems that you'll be seeing a lot more of that grin in the future.
*
living with satoru gojo is not... well, it's not hard. he's a normal enough roommate.
he pays his rent on time and doesn't touch the coffee you make in the morning most days--coughing when he does. he man spreads on the couch and watches movies way too loud and doesn't hang his bag up at the door, preferring to, instead, set it on the counter like a maniac. he whistles when he walks, and wears his stupid sunglasses 80% of the time, and grins at you when you're irritated, and, honestly, he's not really half bad.
he doesn't leave any huge messes for you to clean up (mostly because he doesn't use the kitchen or the dining table ever). he doesn't invite people over that keep you up all night (because he's gone most nights). and, actually, he keeps the bathroom quite clean (even if he takes up well more than half of the shower space with his weird face creams and deep conditioning treatments).
but satoru gojo is hard.
it's not what he does, but rather who he is. with his infuriating good looks--taking up most of the fair share for the rest of the population--and his subtle charm, which, if you didn't know who he was, might actually work on you, and his morning voice and his messy hair and just the way he lives.
like breathing is just what he's supposed to be doing. like he doesn't need to worry about a thing because nothing should matter if he decides he doesn't want it to.
so easygoing and naturally intuitive and far too exhausting for you.
because, as a fatal flaw of your own, you love to mess with him. somedays you'll hope he shows up just so you have someone to fight with. just so you'll be irritated instead of stressed, frustrated instead of exhausted.
it's kind of addicting, in a way. and masochistic, but you've never claimed to be completely sane.
and honestly, gojo's just asking for it.
after a mere month of living with his aura around, you come to expect his cockiness. you live to take him down a notch.
so when he's up this early in the morning, whistling like it's his god-given right, you scowl at him just as he enters the room.
"woah," he says, sliding on a bar stool in front of you. "starting early this morning?"
"you're banned from talking to me until noon."
"is this about the ice cream i ate? cause there was only a little left..."
"no it's--" you pause, frowning at him. "you ate my ice cream?"
he lays his entire torso on the counter, pathetically. "i was dying, okay? low blood sugar was going to kill me, and i couldn't see anything else but that ice cream and it wasn't even very good anyway, so, really, i was saving you from having to endure the rest of it."
"you ate my ice cream?" you repeat.
"i'll buy you more. a better kind. and then you'll understand that i was doing you a favor."
"i might kill you."
"i thought we banned homicide from the apartment."
"i was going to eat that," you whine, shoving his hands away from trying to grab your mug.
he smiles, too bright for so early in the morning. "yesterday you told me sweets weren't an appropriate breakfast."
you scoff. "yeah, cause that's all you eat. you need a green smoothie or something in the morning just to keep your heart beating for the rest of the day."
"my heart beats very well, thank you. wanna feel?"
you roll your eyes and sigh into your mug. "i'll be expecting three pints of ice cream as an apology later tonight."
gojo has already moved on, typing away on his phone, probably to some groupies he manipulated into loving him. "i can't. it's flip night at laurent's tonight, and suguru has already threatened me into coming."
"why did you say laurent's like i'm supposed to know what you mean?"
"laurent's," he repeats, looking at you.
you blink.
"the bar?" he questions, like you're crazy.
"okay, sorry, i don't exclusively hang out at bars filled with frat boys."
"it's very sophisticated,” he corrects, his frat boy nature very obvious. “i mean, i frequent there."
you laugh.
"clearly you've never been."
"i'm still expecting ice cream."
he sits back in his chair. "i have class all day."
"like you've never skipped a class."
"encouraging ditching?" he asks, mock appalled. "what kind of roommate are you?"
"the kind that doesn't steal her roommate's food. just get one of your servants to pick it up.”
gojo waves a hand at you, and that statement, apparently. and then he types another thing into his phone—to said servants you assume—and grins again. his face must’ve missed the feeling. "how about i buy you a drink instead? you can come with me tonight. meet my friends. maybe make some of your own."
"haha," you cross your arms. "if they're as bad as you, then i'm good."
"you'd probably love them. they also like to torment me, even though i'm pretty and perfectly nice to them."
"i seriously doubt that."
his eyes--oh, yes, this early in the morning he skips the sunglasses--sparkle like gems. "i have to play wingman for suguru, but it probably won't take long. you can mingle. meet someone. i think you could use a way to relieve some of that stress."
"oh, you mean the stress that you cause?"
gojo grins and you realize that you've fallen into his trap. "i'm willing to help out whenever you like," he says, deviously, "you just haven't asked yet, sweetheart."
"nor ever will," you grind out.
gojo hums and taps his fingers against the countertop. the two of you stare at each other, grin matching scowl, and eventually, he loses the contest. "so, can i plan to steal you away from eternal solitude at six?" he asks.
and just because he's right--in his weird, satoru gojo way--you nod. it might be nice to get out of the house; and meet people other than the lost freshman at work. and because you know that gojo will continue to bother you about it otherwise. he’s a very difficult person.
as if proving it, he grins all pleased with himself, so you add, "but you're buying all of my drinks." before he can get too ahead of himself.
*
it's not nearly loud enough in this bar. as soon as you walk in, you're sure of it.
because even with a band up on the stage, singing about loving someone or money or drugs, you can still hear gojo as he flirts with every single living thing in his twenty-foot vicinity.
he's got his grin on, styled his hair all fancy, and his clothes are signature in the way that you've probably seen him wear the same thing fifty times. maybe in a row.
but the people in this bar don't care. no, they flirt back like they already know who satoru gojo is. and maybe they do.
you don't really care, but you do have to drag him along so he can show you where you're supposed to sit and tell you the names of his friends before you get drunk enough to forget.
it takes three minutes of trailing after gojo like a lost puppy to remember that you hate going out. that you hate everything about your so-called roommate and you should've shoved his invitation down the drain along with him.
as if gojo can hear this thought, he peeks over his shoulder, smirking at you. "enjoying the view?" he asks, and you try to trip him by stepping on his heel.
unfortunately, he only swings around, walking backward through the crowd like it's going to part for him.
oh, wait. it does.
you frown at him.
"what? you don't like the music?" he pouts because that would personally offend him, of course.
"where are we going? i think we've passed that table four times already."
"i have to say hi," he says like this is obvious. "it's rude to just walk into some place without greeting everyone."
"do you own this bar?"
"what? no."
"then find your friends so we can sit down," you grumble, trying not to lose him in the sea of people. it's unlikely that you've ever seen a bar this packed. more like a club, honestly, but you wouldn't put it past gojo to lie.
eventually, he does lead you to a table, announcing, with a flourish. "don't worry, everyone, i'm here," while he bows--because of course he does. "and," he adds, "i brought a stowaway."
you peek around his shoulder to meet three people, all staring at him with the same unamused expression. one, suguru--from the many photo albums and 'trips down memory lane' gojo has bombarded you with--gives you a little wave. the other two just continue to stare at gojo.
"everyone, this is y/n, my favorite roommate. y/n, that one is suguru," he says, pointing towards him, "which you already know. the short one is shoko, and the blonde one is--"
"nanami," you cut in, "hey."
gojo frowns, looking between the two of you. "you know each other?"
"we have analytics together," you answer, sliding in to sit across them, next to gojo, naturally. "i usually cheat off of his notes."
"she gets me coffee," nanami adds, like this information is imperative.
gojo grins again. "why didn't you say anything nanamin?"
"because i didn't realize."
"who else could i have been talking about? do you know several pretty girls named y/n? you a player?"
nanami has a very familiar frown on his face, and is about to say something when suguru seems to kick gojo under the table. "satoru, i told you to stop referring to other people as 'players.'"
gojo merely rolls his eyes. "can't fight the truth," he says.
you almost smile. almost. but your eyes drift over to shoko, who sighs. "how'd you get stuck with this one?" she asks, not harsh, but not quite soft.
"he promised me alcohol."
she nods knowingly.
speaking of, you turn towards him. "you and i both know there's only one reason i'm here."
gojo flicks your forehead, but stands up. "i'll be right back," he says, "don't miss me too much."
and you all watch as he walks away, conveniently stopping at least four times to talk to several different people.
you groan. "he's not coming back is he?"
"he will," suguru says, not quite reassuringly. "probably. in an hour or so."
you cover your eyes with your hands and listen as the three of them laugh at you.
*
it probably is an hour or two later that you see gojo again.
you'd fallen into smooth conversation with his friends, talking about classes, and dancing, and the fact that you all shared a common enemy. it was easy enough, talking to them, like ripples in a pond. but surely if gojo had stuck around, it would've been more of a tsunami. you could see the appeal--at least for someone like your roommate. they all seemed responsible enough.
but shoko, after a twenty-second lull in conversation, decided she was better off drinking at home, and nanami quickly agreed. watching them, compared to gojo, disappear into the crowd was a different experience.
you bite your cheek unnervingly, wondering if it made you a bad roommate to want to let gojo suffer here alone and walk home by himself.
suguru pats you on the shoulder when he stands up a moment later, brushing his pants. "i'll go find satoru," he says, softly. you feel that same irritation when you realize that gojo had probably lied to you about coming here for suguru. it was almost infinitely more times likely that suguru had come here for him. "do you want me to tell him you went home?"
"how likely is it that he'll go home with someone else and it won't matter if i wait for him anyway?"
the dark-haired man considers this with a sly grin on his face. "if i tell him you left, he'll find someone to cling to. but if you're here he'll go home with you. probably drunk, though."
you run a hand through your hair, waving him off. "it's fine. i'll wait, then. but tell him that the homicide clause doesn't apply to outside the apartment."
suguru laughs, not questioning this, and walks away.
you sit there, toying with a glass someone had left behind, watching the people around you dance like it really was a club. with absolutely no one watching. not even god, evidently.
as usual, gojo lied--even though you hadn't really believed him when he said this place was sophisticated. the clear air of stale beer and vomit is enough to prove that.
you almost laugh bitterly, but then a mop of white hair appears in the chair next to you, and his grin is wider, larger than you'd remembered.
how long had that taken?
"hello hello, roomie," he sings, leaning close to you. he moves his chair, shuffling across the floor so that he's near enough to touch. "i heard you were threatening me again."
"you could hear that over the sighs of your fan club?"
gojo giggles, like he's in on the joke. his breath falls on your face. "i like it when you tell me you're going to murder me, you know."
"of course you do. how much did you drink?"
"it's not the quantity," he whispers, "it's the quality."
"your friends told me you could get drunk off of hand sanitizer."
gojo leans back, his long legs knocking against yours. "are they spreading those rumors again?"
you kick his foot away from yours but don't say anything. his eyes seem somehow wider right now, even behind his dark shades. almost like you could see them.
you blink, and gojo does it back. his lashes fluttering just enough to tell.
it almost makes you smile. laugh a little bit at his innocence--especially right now, when he's clearly not himself--some more unperturbed version of who he normally is (if that's even possible). he probably wouldn't even remember if you did laugh at him. but you refrain anyway.
gojo gasps suddenly. "oh! let's go to the store. you want ice cream, right?" his elbow slides onto the table as he rests his chin on a hand.
you kick his foot again. "i wanted a drink," you correct, "but apparently you got distracted."
"'s not my fault," he almost slurs, sadly.
"are you ready to go home?"
"i'm ready to leave. so we can get your ice cream. want to share a spoon?" his grin is unabashed. you could tell him that he is a vile, disgusting creature right now and he would probably agree.
you don't, for whatever reason.
"i don't think anywhere's open, and i don't want to drag you around while you're this drunk."
he taps your thigh with a finger. "hey. i'll have you know that i am a very proficient walker."
"oh, really?"
"learned when i was a kid and everything."
"wow, gojo, i'm very impressed," you deadpan, and look around. "do you need to say goodbye to suguru?"
he frowns. then points to himself. "gojo," he repeats, and into the crowd, "suguru."
like he's an actual toddler.
you shake your head and stand up, still looking. "can you text him?"
"i guess," he mumbles, getting out his phone and almost dropping it. he frowns like this is deeply upsetting.
so you grab it from him. "what's your passcode?"
"one one one one." you look at him with a brow raised. "cause i'm number one," he answers, pridefully.
you scoff, but look through his texts anyway, and tell suguru that you're taking him home--and never ever coming out with him again--and then hand it back to gojo.
he smiles at you. you roll your eyes.
then he grabs your hand, and begins to pull. "c'mon before they find us," he says, and it doesn't make any sense.
but were you really expecting it to?
*
perhaps the aftermath of drunk gojo is even more entertaining than the actual thing.
shoko hadn't been kidding when she said he was the worst drunk--and even worse when hungover.
how do you know this? oh, because you woke up at one in the afternoon--perfectly respectable for a saturday--and as soon as you dared to even open your door gojo was already groaning about the noise. so you slam it a little as you leave.
there's a grunt, like a dying cat, and two minutes later he is walking into the kitchen with slits for eyes and cotton for hair. you're not sure what he's wearing--some video game shirt--but it's wrinkled enough to match your roommate's appearance. disheveled and slightly peeved, he's almost glaring at you--like he's capable of such a thing.
you try not to laugh.
"where's the bacon?" he asks, almost slipping off of the counter as he leans on it. his hands rubbing at his eyes.
"sorry?"
"wheres the bacon?" he repeats, his voice a different register this morning. "i need emergency bacon."
"so make some. there's a pan and probably a package in the fridge."
he whines, falling against the counter again. his natural habitat. "i can't make it, i'm dying. you really want your terminally ill roommate to cook for himself?"
"i want my overdramatic roommate to act like an adult for a change."
he blows a raspberry, and his face is hidden beneath the tile of your table. you can only see his hair, which looks surprisingly soft for his state.
"did you lose some pigment in your hair?"
gojo snaps up, immediately, gasping. he pulls a strand so he can look at it, blinking rapidly. his panic quickly fades, and he blows the strand out of his eyes. "it's just dirty."
"from what?"
"i forgot to buy new bedsheets," he grumbles, once again hiding his face.
"your bedsheets are dying your hair?" you ask, with a raised brow.
"they're dirty," he repeats, rolling his eyes as he sits up. "i need to go to the store."
"um..." you look at him as he slumps against his own body, feeling greatly concerned for his survival abilities. "you buy new bedsheets?" you confirm, "instead of washing them?"
he waves a hand, blowing you, and your clearly audaious sentence away. "bacon," he says, flatly.
you roll your eyes. "pan," you point, "stove."
gojo looks like he might start crying.
and it might be his state or the fact that you don't think you've ever seen him like this--in the month you've known him--all lost and confused and a little bit ruffled at the edges. gojo's snark is usually in its top form when you see him in the morning.
so, just this once, you grab a pan, and turn on the burner.
"i'll be expecting payment for my time," you say, as you grab the bacon from the fridge.
and maybe you get your first real smile from your roommate.
*
you're lying on the couch reading a book when he appears, swarming like a fly.
"hello, roommate," he says, uncharacteristically pleasant, and then he sits on your legs. you try to kick him, but it proves futile because apparently he's a giant, so you wiggle your way out from under him and sit up, frowning.
"don't you have a room?" you ask.
"i could ask you the same thing," gojo tries to tickle your feet, but you move them away before he can. your frown turns into more of a glare. "what?" he asks, "we can't hang out?"
"no."
gojo pouts. "but we're roommates," he says as if it's an explanation. like being roommates binds your souls and forever intertwines the two of you.
"we are roommates because i had an extra room and you had money. that doesn't seem like thrilling grounds for friendship."
"well, how about the fact that i let you use my hair dryer the other day?" he lays down on the other side of the couch, smirking at you. "that's a friendly thing to do."
"that's the polite thing to do. i'm trying to train you. speaking of which..." you point towards the floor, "down boy."
he takes off his sunglasses, throwing them on the coffee table--which probably explains the broken mug pieces you found in the trash the other day--and lays back with his arms behind his head. his eyes are closed. "i can't be trained."
"clearly."
you sigh and relax in your corner of the couch, picking up your book again. his presence lurks like a nightmare, but, you figure, eventually, he'll get bored.
you just can't entertain him. it's like the advice you'd give to a kid being bullied: they only care about your reaction...
as if proving your point, after twenty-seven seconds of silence, he opens one eye, peeking at you. "whatcha reading?"
"a book."
he plucks it right out of your hands, inspecting the cover. how he got across the couch in 0.2 seconds, you don't know.
"what is this?" he asks, snickering a little. "word porn?"
you take it back. "it's called romance, gojo. not that i'd expect you to be familiar with anything of the sort."
he smirks, laying back down. "i have references if you need proof."
you shake your head, flipping him off, and continue to scan the words on your page without retaining any information.
seriously, his presence is impending doom itself.
"it's okay," he whispers, "you don't need to be embarrassed. everyone craves intimacy."
"i crave my fist on your face."
he snorts. "that's not very friendly."
you sigh, dropping the book again so you can look at him and his obnoxious eyes. "look, i'm tired, it's been a long week, and if you don't leave me alone i'll probably lock you outside."
"probably?"
"it's that or throwing you out the window."
gojo laughs once again, but mimes zipping his mouth shut. you roll your eyes and open your book again. your feet are entwined, but you don't mock this--if only because you're sure that gojo will start an argument about it.
the quiet lasts for two minutes and then he turns on the tv.
you groan and he laughs at you.
*
you're getting used to having him around, at least. and in turn, his friends. because they seem to be a package deal.
after that night at the bar, gojo--apparently--feels much more comfortable having them over. trying to bake cookies with shoko or interrupting what's supposed to be a study session between the four of them.
at least, you think, watching this happen, that you're not the only person forced to endure him.
but it's kind of... nice to see him act like a normal person, for once. to get teased by someone other than you and pout like a begrudged younger brother. the person who invites his friends over for game night (getting aggressively angry every time he loses) isn't satoru gojo, the man whom everyone is drawn to. he isn't some drunk guy charming everyone around him or a roommate that you just happened upon.
he's just another college student, laughing along with people who aren't nearly as bad as him.
and, naturally, you find yourself intertwined with these 'hang-outs' because the apartment is small, and you don't want to be left out--no, you choose not to think about how pathetic it is that satoru gojo has more friends than you do, so please don't bring it up.
and it's on this night when you're not playing uno with the four of them, but rather, watching behind all of their backs and trying to mess with gojo as much as possible.
you pretend to be idly cleaning in the kitchen, when really you're standing behind him, mouthing to suguru what color he has whenever he's about to win.
"hmm," the sly-mouthed man says this time, "green."
shoko puts down a seven, and gojo groans again. "seriously?" he asks, but begins drawing cards.
you try--and fail--not to giggle behind him. to which, of course, he turns around with an obvious glare in his eyes. "what are you doing?"
the sink isn't on, and there are no dishes to be seen in the kitchen. nonetheless, you point uselessly to the roll of paper towels on the counter. "cleaning."
"you're cleaning air?"
"sorry, i didn't realize i was banned from loitering in my own home."
he turns back around, looking at suguru for a moment, then back at you. it's very hard to keep the smile off of your face, especially when nanami looks like he's about to break and shoko is pretending to rifle through her cards again.
how many times have you done this to him? oh, just a mere eight.
to be fair, it would've ended a long time ago if gojo wasn't such a sore loser.
he looks back and forth once more. then he frowns. "what are you doing?"
"do you want me to go hide in my room, gojo?" you ask, trying to scowl. "because i will. i was just trying to be hospitable--"
"nanamin," he interrupts. "go."
so another round of cards is placed, and this time suguru plays normally, keeping his face straight to not draw any suspicion. you lean against the wall, enjoying yourself.
(don't tell anyone, but this is the most fun you've had in a while).
and then, after a couple of rounds go by, you finally clear your throat. gojo turns to glare at you through his sunglasses and says "go stand behind suguru if you're going to watch. i don't trust you."
you raise your brows but do as he says.
and when shoko has to draw the next time, you smile and tap a couple of times on your thigh.
suguru does his best impression of gojo's grin, and says, "draw four," to shoko.
she smiles back. turns to gojo. "draw four," she repeats.
and he stares at the two of them, then the cards stacked on top of each other, and then to you, right across him. "what are you doing? i know you're doing something."
"satoru, she's just watching--"
"no, she's smiling." he looks back to you, "you're smiling. you don't do that unless i'm in pain."
"so you just assume that you're losing cause i'm... what? drawing your cards for you? shuffling the stack so only you get the bad hands?" you cock a brow at him, willing yourself not to look at anyone else at the table. it would only end in disaster.
"i--" gojo runs a hand through his hair. then he sighs and begins drawing his eight cards.
and several rounds later--with gojo losing once again--you've begun moving around the table like you're inspecting each player. gojo doesn't let you look at his cards though.
and it takes a while before he notices anything. particularly after suguru wins for the third time in a row.
he looks at everyone--brows pulled together, irritated eyes hiding behind his sunglasses, and his cheeks are flushed from how frustrated he is--and as soon as you start laughing at his face, everyone else does too. suguru throws his cards down and shakes his head. nanami shuffles the deck while trying to keep his laugh muffled--but it's there. and shoko is outwardly laughing at him, pointing at gojo and then at you.
"are you guys stealing the cards?" he asks, almost disbelieving, his voice so childlike that you start laughing even harder. "look at the deck! it's half the size that it was."
and then he's standing up and inspecting you, sticking his hands up your sleeves and finding dozens of cards hiding there, falling onto the floor.
gojo gasps in outrage, but it doesn't even matter to you.
everyone else is clutching their stomachs and gojo begins to pout. "you're all traitors," he's saying, and "how long have you been doing that?" and you almost can't breathe--
so yeah. you don't really mind these kinds of nights. and you don't complain about the messes gojo and his friends leave behind.
*
you shouldn't have given suguru your number. this much is obvious.
but, to be fair, you weren't exactly thinking when you were talking to him about a self-help book you'd picked up, and he was mentioning a podcast, and then he was taking your phone and putting himself in it--which, in itself, should not be dangerous--telling you that he'd send you a link and that you should let him know if you liked it, and that was that.
and really, there shouldn't be any repercussions to this. suguru is your sort of friend, and sort of friends can text on occasion.
except for the fact that he's also satoru gojo's friend. so when you wake up at ten--silently thanking yourself for taking a day off before a week of back-to-back classes and work--he's already texted you, and it's obvious that you failed somewhere in life.
maybe when you accidentally invited a demon into your house and allowed him to stay.
from suguru :p :
hey satoru is supposed to be in class right now and he won't answer me
can you please kick him awake?
but maybe it wasn't a mistake. because at least you have a good excuse to give gojo a bruise.
so you creep down the hall, reluctantly knocking on his door even though it ruins the element of surprise (you're not a monster) and listening as there's no response.
gojo must be asleep. or dead. honestly, you might've killed him in your sleep--wouldn't be the first time.
so you peek the door open, realizing now that you haven't been in his room since he moved in, and watch as a figure slithers under the covers almost before you notice. gojo is completely covered except for the foot he's left hanging off of the side of the bed.
"get up," you tell him, looking around at the sparse decorations he's put up. there are books, candy wrappers, and socks all over the floor, but it's not the messiest room you've ever seen. which is slightly surprising, considering all that you know about gojo.
he whines from under the cover, turning so you get a view of exposed skin on his back. "sleeping," he says as if you might believe him.
so you creep over trash and textbooks and pull the blanket right off of him.
gojo is already looking at you, pouting. his hair is in his eyes and his mouth is puffy--probably from kissing his pillow in his sleep. "what if i was naked under here?" he asks you, very seriously. "i don't let just anyone see that, you know?"
"you're wearing the same silk pajamas you wear every night."
he tries to pull the blanket away from you, his fingers peeling yours away. he huffs. "it's the principle. you don't just wake a man up from slumber."
you snort. "did you travel a century in your sleep?"
"yes, now go away." and then he falls back into the blankets, his words muffled.
"you have class, your highness. i've been sent to fetch you."
one eye appears from under the blanket. "how do you know my schedule?"
"telepathy. now get up."
"i can't," gojo fake coughs. "i'm sick."
"suguru said you'd say that."
he groans, turning over and muffling a few explicit words that sound like a curse upon his best friend.
you poke his back. "did you sleep through your alarm?"
he doesn't answer. his body has gone limp like you might not notice that he's there if he stays still for long enough. so you pull his hair, turning his head towards you. "you're not usually this whiny in the morning," you tell him.
"why are you so mean to me?"
you hum, pretending to consider it. "i think it's the hair. i find it pretentious."
"i could sue you. discrimination is very serious. i've got a good lawyer, too."
"i'll sue back for mental damages."
he laughs, and wiggles from your grasp.
you sigh and finally sit down at the edge of his bed, observing the lollipops he's left lying on his bedside table. gojo's bones seem to crack as he sits up with you, moaning the whole way.
you're silently observing him--with his slightly red eyes and heinous mouth. you're not used to seeing him like this in the morning; usually, he's chipper and annoying. when he walks into the kitchen in the morning you half expect him to start singing.
but this gojo is tired. he rubs at his eyes. "did suguru text you?"
"yup."
"he's a terrible friend."
you nudge him, almost like an agreement. "why aren't you in class?"
"what's even the point of going? it's not like i get a reward."
"i think the reward is graduating, but you might have to fact-check that one."
he nudges you back and then takes your hand. his fingertips are soft as they trace the tendons and veins he can see on your skin. his hands are softer than you'd have expected. his eyes are wary as they look towards the floor, his mouth twisting in displeasure. but he doesn't stop touching you, he does so idly that you almost don't notice. "i have an a in the class," he tells you, "and i already know most of the material so why would i go to every lecture?"
maybe it's the way he says it; so sure and nonchalant, in his typical over-dramatic fashion. maybe it's just that he's never mentioned any of his classes to you, or the fact that he's taking any. maybe he's just crazy--that's the most likely option--but you're suddenly curious.
"what class is it?"
"theoretical physics."
you whistle, shaking your head. "and you already know most of it?"
gojo drops your hand and looks at you. his eyes are wide. maybe he's just realized that he's been talking to you this whole time. "when i was a kid my, uh, my dad had a bunch of textbooks in his office that i used to read through every time i got in trouble," he grins, "which was a lot."
"i can imagine."
"well, it turns out you can only read something so many times before it becomes ingrained in your brain."
you pull at his bedsheet. "do you have a test today, or something?"
"no, suguru just thinks i'm lazy."
you laugh, because he is. gojo rolls his eyes at you so you don't say it. you're a little bit surprised, actually. you knew that gojo wasn't stupid (or at least, you might've known) but there's something about the proof of it. like you can't just read right through him. like maybe there's still more to learn about your roommate and maybe there always has been.
or maybe you're just tired, and he's always had the strange ability to draw irrationality out of you. and also he's an idiot.
"i just..." he starts and his smile fades, but only a little bit. he keeps a layer on while he peels a layer off. "i mean, i like the class. math is cool. but i just don't feel like it today, you know?"
and there's something about his voice as he says it. steady and true, as always, but softer. but compeltely honest.
and you've heard him complain about a million things, like every time you and suguru talk about something he doesn't understand or when the door isn't unlocked when he gets home, or when you won't add his one shirt to your laundry. you've heard every whine and every groan come from his lips.
but he's not complaining about this. just confiding.
and there's such a drastic difference that it takes you a moment to respond.
but you do eventually. "yeah, i know," you tell him and rest a hand on his thigh to squeeze.
and the way that gojo looks at you after--like you might just be saying it to make him feel better--is perplexing. his eyes are blue and maybe you've just noticed this--just started to realize that you're actually sitting with him like a normal person. and that he actually looks grateful.
you shake your head, willing yourself to look away, because maybe there is something sort of magnetic about your roommate. and it feels impossible to only have noticed this now. to realize how warm he is next to you, and how your muscles tense up when he shifts. gojo is looking at you, and it might be the first time.
so you stand up, flicking his chin. "i'll tell suguru that you're puking your guts up."
"really?"
"yup. but next time you sleep through a class i'm going to wake you up by pouring ice water on your face."
he grins. "cruel."
"and i'll record it."
you step over candy wrappers and dirty socks as you leave his room, and as soon as the door is closed you sigh in relief. you're probably better off never opening that door again.
*
it's a ridiculously cold night when he shows up.
you're sitting at the front desk in the library, pretending to study for a mid-term, and trying to smile at the fifth lost library card you've heard about tonight. you got this job at the beginning of the year, and it pays horribly. but at least you can sit around and study, most weekends it's quiet enough to take a nap, and no one tends to bother you when you're drooling all over the reception desk.
most weekends, that is, because as soon as he walks in through the door--letting in air so brisk that it has the potential to kill you--it gets significantly louder.
because satoru gojo is not affected by trivial things such as snow, or blizzards, or the fact that the library is supposed to close in less than ten minutes...
still, you don't really notice him--a rare circumstance that you will question later that night--until he's right next to you, breathing in your ear.
"slacking on the clock?" he asks, and just for a moment, you almost disembowel him with the pen you're holding in your hand.
but then you grunt, used to this sort of intrusion from your roommate, and push his head away. "how did you find me?" you ask him, because, honestly, this job is just an escape from his neverending antics at your house (no, it doesn't matter that you got the job before you knew that such an annoying person could possibly exist).
"i microchipped you in your sleep," gojo says, smoothly, sitting in the chair right next to yours, swiveling around. "i thought i told you about that?"
you blatantly look at the clock and ignore him. "you know that the library closes in seven minutes?"
"...and?"
"so go torment someone else," you answer, standing up with a stack of fileable papers, "i'm busy until eight."
"i'll help," gojo says, eager as always, and takes half of your stack. "where to?"
it is from two months of experience that you know he will not leave you alone. even if you chew off his fingernails and keep them to make into necklaces, gojo will follow you around as long as you make it clear you don't want him to.
so you walk towards the copying room, smiling at all of the sleep-deprived students you pass by and rolling your eyes when gojo does the same.
"how did you even find the library?"
gojo walks like he has absolutely no equilibrium; knocking into you every couple of steps, and then falling in the other direction. it must be a consequence of all of his strenuous leaning.
so he bumps into you as he replies, "tracker," like it's obvious.
you snort. "no, seriously. i didn't think you knew that libraries existed. aren't you allergic to reading?"
"hey!" he tries to trip you. "i'll have you know that i am very studious. top of my class."
"that's why you pay suguru to write your papers for you, right?"
gojo makes a small noise in the back of his throat. "he doesn't write them," he grumbles. "well, not all of them."
you snort and open a door for him to follow through.
"my study group meets here on wednesdays," gojo answers, finally.
"you're a part of a study group?"
"where do you think i go all of the time?"
you briefly consider this, setting the papers down. "cemeteries to mourn all of the people you've annoyed to death, probably. or your girlfriend's house." you shrug.
gojo sets his stack on top of yours, diligently lining them up. "i don't do that every night," he drawls, rolling his eyes. and then he winks at you. "and i don't have a girlfriend. thanks for asking."
you mess up his stack and turn away from him. "sorry, i meant girlfriends as in plural. girlfriends."
"nope, again."
gojo follows closely behind you as you begin to lock up all of the spare rooms, turning off lights and looking for any lost items. "commitment issues?" you ask, fake sympathy clouding your voice.
"sweetheart, if you want me, then just say that. you don't need to pretend to worry about anyone else." his cockiness is infuriating, but you don't even bother to scold him for it. you turn towards him with sharp eyes.
"do i seem worried to you?"
"no, but you're a bad actor," gojo hums, fingertips grazing along your skin as he inspects your face. "denial is serious. you might want to see a doctor."
"you would know," you answer, glaring and pulling away from him. the two of you walk as people begin to trek out of the library, no longer held captive by the idea of studying.
gojo is much too close, as usual, his sweater brushing against yours.
"how'd you even know i was here?" you ask him, after a minute of silence.
"please," he answers, grinning down at you. "i got a PI as soon as you gave me my key."
you squint. "did you actually?"
he laughs. "no. you told shoko, and shoko told me..."
you nod, clearing the desk of your things, tossing your bag at gojo for him to carry. "so why are you here?"
he clears his throat, unplugging the cord to your computer and wrapping it around his hand. "i was walking by, and i thought i'd see if you wanted to come with me for drinks after your shift."
"drinks?" you repeat, taking the cord from his hands.
"flip night."
you groan. "i am never participating in that again after what happened last time."
"it wasn't that bad."
"i had to drag you home and you almost threw up in my hair."
gojo smiles. "consider yourself lucky."
you push him out of the way and put your coat on. then you turn off the lights and push in all of the chairs, gojo not helping at all. "i didn't even get my drink," you remind him.
"okay, so let me make it up to you."
and his voice is a bit different. still arrogant, naturally, still smiling and easy--but maybe he means it? maybe beneath his, frankly, soft exterior, he feels bad for getting drunk before you could? maybe he's not actually a complete monster?
you laugh that thought away as soon as it comes.
you sigh. "are your friends going to be there?"
"yes, our friends are. they suggested i invite you."
you sigh--again, because the air is quite thin when gojo is around--and consider it. for just four seconds. but eventually, you shake your head. "i can't," you tell him, looping your arm around his so you can drag him out of the building.
"why not?"
"i'm tired, and i still need to study for a test on monday..."
"do it in the morning."
you give him a blank look. "i won't want to study if i'm hungover."
"then don't study."
you let go of his arm, shivering from the cold. gojo, of course, is not wearing a jacket, or even a little bit bothered by the air. "you're a terrible influence."
he grins. "i get it from you."
you shake your head, keeping the smile off of your face. "maybe some other time? when it's not freezing, and i don't have a big test?"
gojo looks like he wants to argue with you some more--which he usually does--but eventually, his grin ebbs into something simple and he nods. "okay, but you have to come next time i ask."
"no. what if i'm sick, or something?" you definitely would not put it past him to ask you as a method of torture.
"that's what alcohol is for." he sticks out his hand, too big and too sly.
but you relent, shaking with him, and rolling your eyes.
"okay, gojo. have fun. do not wake me up when you get home."
and you turn to walk away, but his hand catches your wrist. "what are you doing?" he asks, brow furrowed.
"...going home?"
he lets go of you and flicks your forehead. "you're not walking back by yourself," he says, like it's a crime. "c'mon."
and he falls into pace with you, even with his longer legs and fervent energy.
"this is stupid--" you start to complain, but gojo reaches for the strap of your bag, sliding it off of your shoulder. he then slings it on his own, and pulls you in a bit closer by the hem of your jacket.
he doesn't say anything, just shoves your hand in his pocket, and whistles as he walks you home.
*
its a couple of weeks later when you're standing at the door again, trying not to open it more than necessary.
but, really, how wide is too wide? will a half-opened door signal any longing? will he think that you want him back if you open it more than three inches to pass him his box of stuff that he'd left behind and take your key back?
how do you navigate the trade-off of a frog statue that will probably haunt your dreams till the end of time?
"key," you say, without any pleasantries, not bothering to even really look at him.
even though he looks just the same, your ex. still the lying cheater you'd almost fallen in love with.
is it wrong to miss his netflix password more than him?
"thanks," he says, and you've probably been standing there with him for thirty seconds when a head appears on your shoulder.
white hair gets in your eyes, and you try to push gojo away, but he's already intruded on this exchange and you know he's not going to leave.
"go away," you tell him, not very softly.
"hello," gojo holds his hand out over your shoulder, because, again, he is ridiculously tall. "i'm--"
"key," you say again, swatting his hand away.
your ex looks at your new roommate--with all of his charm and irritating sunglasses and perfectly shaped teeth--with obvious disdain. you want to push both of them out the door and live here by yourself forever, but unfortunately, living prices disagree.
so you grab the key from his hand, give him a bland smile, and slam the door with gojo's fingers still in between.
he pulls them back just in time, still almost on top of you, and smiles when you turn around with a scowl. "a friend of yours?" he asks, slyly. he's about as subtle as a third-grader.
"no."
he messes with your hair idly, pretending to fix it. "i noticed an obvious absence where our dancing frog used to be."
"i told you, that's not mine."
"so you gave it away?"
you cross your arms. he is far too close to you. "you told me it was hideous."
"it was," he nods, vehemently, and you know his eyes are grinning at you behind those dark shades. "but now there's an empty spot on that shelf."
"we can put your tongue there when i cut it out," you give him an innocent smile and walk past him to sit on the couch. your pocket burns with the key you put there, metal like an obvious stain on your skin.
it's not that you care about him anymore, really. you don't, not even when you lay alone at night and think about him. it's more that... he doesn't think about you. he didn't, and he wouldn't have, even if you were still together.
is it wrong to be wanted by someone whose opinion is worth about as much to you as a penny you could or could not pick up on the street? should you crave being cared about by someone as awful as him?
you want to throw his key in bleach. maybe take a dip yourself.
gojo follows you, throwing himself down on the couch, and brushing you as he does so. he is very used to this kind of proximity, and the annoyed look you give him. "so that was your ex?"
"yes."
there's a brief pause, and a nice person might leave it like that. might try to console you, tell you better off. but satoru gojo is not nice, and he probably never has been. "really?" he asks. then clicks his tongue.
you interrupt whatever obnoxious statement is supposed to follow: "if you're about to say that there are a lot of more eligible bachelors, including yourself, then i'm going to say that you should probably make a zillow account."
gojo pinches your thigh. "i would never say something like that."
you look at him, just barely able to make out the shape of his eyes when he's this close. "you told me that last week when i was complaining about dating apps."
"well, it was true then."
you roll your eyes.
"i wasn't going to say that anyway."
you hum, relaxing into the hold his legs begin to have on yours. despite his abrupt and terrible personality, gojo is very warm. and he's already intruded into so much of your space--your home, your head--that it almost feels normal.
with his thighs pushing against yours and his fingertips trailing up the back of your neck.
you should slap him away, but you don't.
the last person you cuddled with was the same man who gave you the greasy key in your pocket.
you look at gojo with inquisitive eyes. "really? no bad pickup line? you were going to say something meaningful?"
"would've blown your mind, but you interrupted..." he teases, and pulls on a strand of baby hair.
"whatever will i do now?"
his hand falls from your neck, and if you weren't as comfortable as you are currently, you might think about what he's doing.
like the fact that you haven't even questioned this, or his following you around, or the fact that he knew you needed someone to pull you away from that door.
you don't think about that, but maybe you should.
still, his hand wraps around your shoulder, and you slump against him without question.
"i was..." his voice is softer, calmer than you've maybe ever heard it. it should jolt you away from him. it should do anything but keep you planted on the couch right next to him. "i was just going to say that i'm glad he's an idiot."
"getting turned on by my pain?"
he laughs. "no, but, i mean, your pain my gain."
you don't even notice it when he slips off his glasses, his fingers curling around your forearm.
"where else would i find a roommate that threatens me with bodily harm?" he asks, right in your ear.
it's true enough, you guess. and at least for a moment, you don't want to rip off his arms.
and gojo mutters something that sounds like "stupid," but you aren't listening.
*
gojo has called in your agreement; that is the only reason you're sitting at the bar, watching him dance around with shoko--purposefully stepping on her toes--and sipping on some drink he ordered for you.
it's terribly sweet and reminds you of lotion but you drink it anyway. it's not like you bought it, and you're sure that gojo wont buy you anything else until finish it. plus it's giving you a light buzz, just enough to feel comfortable sitting there, and not like you want to run away.
it's not as busy as it was last time, the music slightly quieter, the air in the room less stiff. gojo seems less energized tonight--considering that he hasn't abandoned any of you to talk to the houseplant in the corner--even with the dancing.
which he is terrible at. it's like watching an eight-month-old learn how to stand. or a man trying to impress absolutely no one. his limbs move like they aren't even attached to his body.
"is he drunk?" you're asking suguru and nanami--who have been sitting there longer than you have. "i didn't see him order anything."
nanami laughs and suguru ruffles your hair. "that's satoru completely sober."
"...are you sure?"
"yeah, he doesn't usually drink. even that," he nods to your drink which you're sipping with a wince, "is too bitter for him."
you raise a brow, watching shoko frown at him, and then nudge him away. "he drank last time i came, though?"
suguru nods, looking away like he knows something you don't and nanami snorts.
"what?"
"he was nervous last time," nanami answers. he's got less than a smile on, but it's better than the frowns you've observed sitting next to him in class.
your brow furrows. "about what?"
suguru is about to answer, nudging nanami not very subtly, when the very topic of conversation pops up, bumping into you as he squeezes himself in between you and suguru. his presence is an interruption in itself, but he's smiling like he always does, acting like he's been there the whole time.
you might've pushed him away a week or two ago. now you just sigh and move a little so he can fit.
"did you miss me, sweetheart?" he asks you, leaning against suguru. "don't worry, i'll dance with you next."
"no, and i don't dance."
gojo rolls his eyes. "everyone dances."
you look pointedly between him and the group of people dancing in the middle of the room. an image of him almost tripping over shoko makes you smile. "well some people shouldn't."
suguru laughs and gojo grins even wider at you--his hair is slightly sweaty and his eyes are peering at you over the glasses sitting on the edge of his nose. "let's test that theory," he says, taking a step back. his tone is nothing less than suggestive. and his fingers wiggle towards you, beckoning for you to follow.
there's a twinge in your stomach and you adjust in your seat, frowning at him. "i told you that i don't dance."
"well, i do. and you owe me for last time."
you balk. "owe you for what? making sure you didn't get murdered on the street?"
gojo pouts, his face so unserious and completely genuine at the same time. "you made me dance all alone. you didn't even come watch."
"you left me--"
"just one dance?" he asks, leaning in towards you. his eyes are sparkling. "i'll get you another drink."
"you'll get me that anyway."
"i'll let you pick it this time."
"that's usually expected, you know?"
he ignores that, "c'mon," he pleads, "you know that you want to."
"i don't know that, actually."
and then someone coughs behind gojo and you realize that your friends have been listening to this entire interaction and that you'd completely forgotten they were there. how long has he been standing like that? just two inches away from your face?
"just go, y/n," shoko says, "put the rest of us out of our misery. i've been listening to him whine all night."
"hey--" gojo turns, his voice defensive.
but you take another sip of your drink, sighing as you stand up. "fine," you tell him, rolling your eyes when he turns to you with a smile. "one dance, and you can't ask me for anything else tonight."
his teeth are like rows of knives. sharp and inviting. "okay."
he holds his hand out for you again, and you take it, feeling that strange pull in the pit of your stomach.
it's probably just the alcohol, though.
*
you don't know how long you've been dancing with gojo.
it started with one dance where he didn't do anything except twirl you around and sway with you, like he'd accepted the fact that you weren't exactly light on your feet, singing along to the music in your ear, making snide remarks about where you'd placed your hands. moving them like pieces on a chess board.
his breath was hot on your ear. condensation on a glass.
and then you'd gradually moved to letting him lead you, after who knows how many songs, following his steps and not apologizing when your foot slammed against his, or when you bumped shoulders with him, probably creating marks on your skin.
and then his hands were on your hips, his chin resting against your shoulder, and it felt almost nice to be dancing with him. almost relaxing to forget momentarily about where you were and who you were with. it shouldn't surprise you that you're comfortable with him, but it does. there's no worry about the way you're looking at him or if anyone is watching the two of you--but then again, you might be slightly drunk.
gojo hasn't commented on how long the two of you have been dancing, and evidently, you've let the alcohol sway you into staying for more than just another song.
so now, with his lips on your ear, you're almost smiling into him. your heart is fast, and the adrenaline rush you're experiencing is a pleasant thing; if someone ripped out your heart right you wouldn't even notice.
"see?" gojo says, his voice just a murmur with all of the music swimming in your ears. "you're not so bad."
it sounds like something else to you.
"you won't be saying that in the morning," you tell him, stepping on his toes, but he doesn't pull back or move too quickly. if you thought rationally about his movements you might notice that everything he's doing is slow; like you're an animal he's trying not to scare.
"i'm used to it," he pulls back a little bit. "shoko does that too."
"'cause you deserve it."
he laughs and leans in, so you follow him.
are you just swaying now? or is he leading you in something more complex? a dance you've never heard of, or a simple in and out?
you don't know, and you really don't care.
after a moment, you sigh. "i've never danced with anyone before," you whisper to him, almost like not saying the words at all. it might be a lie, you're not quite sure.
your words are just thoughts now with no sort of intervention between your brain and your mouth. intoxication fills your lungs.
"really?"
"mhm," you hum, "no one's ever asked me."
"i don't believe you," his voice might be teasing, or serious, or he might be barking at you.
you laugh anyway. gojo's hands are firm against your skin. he feels kind of hazy, like a dream. so you laugh again.
"you okay?"
"i think i might be a little drunk."
he snorts, his breath short. "really? i didn't think you'd be a lightweight."
"you're a lightweight."
"yeah, but you already knew that. i only drink when we come here, anyway. nanami doesn't like having to drag me home."
"you're heavy," you agree, looking up at him. you can see his eyelashes from under his glasses. you can see his tongue as he moves it, and the tip of his nose. you can almost feel it when he swallows.
"sorry," he teases. his face looks different under these lights. it looks different when you're looking at him this close.
"you're kinda pretty," the words fall from your mouth as you think them, and you grin. "huh."
it shouldn't be an odd realization, but it is. his skin is almost translucent, and his mouth is sinful. his eyes are wide and bright and satoru gojo could be a sculpture if he wasn't a man.
gojo looks down at you, his brows raised. "you just noticed?"
"i don't look at you a lot."
"oh, please," he shakes his head. "i've caught you staring."
"i only stare when i'm worried that you're a robot planted by aliens or something. you say weird things."
he laughs, and his hands squeeze your waist. he could stab you in the back right now and it wouldn't even matter. you're not even worried about it. he could flirt with you all night and you don't think you'd quite mind.
you giggle at the thought, heart beating fast with every breath that comes from him.
"what?"
"you're not a bad roommate, you know?" you ask him, but maybe you're asking yourself.
"i'm not?"
"no. you're actually... kinda considerate. my old roommate--my ex--he never wanted to go anywhere with me. he wouldn't have asked me to dance."
"why not?"
"i think he thought i was stuck up. or embarassing. or not worth it," you breathe, almost airly, the words are true but they don't matter to you. not like this, pressed up against him. "i don't know."
gojo's brow furrows. "how?"
your brows furrow. "how what?"
"how could he think you're not worth it?" he repeats, and you laugh back. because it's a joke.
"you'd have to ask him."
"i don't think i'll ever be talking to him," he answers, voice rough. "it wouldn't be good for either of us. and i don't trust people with such terrible taste."
you giggle at the thought of the frog sculpture, the disgusted look on gojo's face. you can almost see through him.
"you shouldn't," you answer, not even thinking.
there's a moment where the room is quiet, everyone inhaling at the same time, and then exhaling. you feel like you fit here, somehow. like everything is moving at just the right place. this silence is a comforting feeling, the bubbles bursting in your stomach reiterating it.
"hey," gojo says, interrupting that feeling.
"what?"
"you're a good roommate, too. you're not stuck up. or embarassing."
"i'm not?"
he smiles at you. "well, you're a little mean."
you smile back. "only to you, satoru."
his face drops, but you don't notice. you lean against his chest again, your eyes fluttering shut. if you were focused enough, you could feel his heartbeat. but you don't. and you don't watch as he swallows. as his voice falters, for only a single second.
but you do look at him when he says, "my friends like you."
"they do?"
he laughs, pushing his sunglasses back up on his face. "wasn't it obvious?"
you shake your head. you're not sure how long you've been standing with him, or if it even matters. you're not even sure if you're still in the bar, or your bed, being covered with your blanket, tucked in by gentle hands.
how long has it been now?
"i like you too," gojo whispers, "just so you know."
and you could be at home, with your roommate. you could be right next to him. it doesn't matter, because you only whisper, "good," and then it's all gone.
*
when you wake up the next morning, gojo is already laughing at you.
your headache is a curse. your mind is in shambles. and your body aches with the manipulation of only one person.
you hate your roommate and his terrible taste in drinks and that he doesn't even say anything when you slump against the counter, not even bothering to make fun of you or complain about how terrible you are when you're drunk.
he just smiles easily, ruffling your hair.
and when he starts to cook some bacon in the pan, you don't say anything, but you go and stand next to him, letting him hold you up.
there are no words. only the popping of oil in a pan.
and that feeling, of course. because it wasn't the alcohol.
*
so maybe satoru gojo is your friend. you will not admit this to anyone aloud, but you concede a little bit in your head, because it's a fragile place there, and you're a terrible liar.
and so maybe you hang out with him sometimes.
it's not just the game nights or study sessions anymore. you sit on the couch and play with your phone and he sits down next to you. he'll rub your feet, or massage your legs and you let him.
only because he's kinda good at it, of course.
and sometimes you'll turn on a movie and he'll appear out of nowhere, complaining about whatever you picked, but laying down nonetheless. and after several minutes he'll move closer to you, resting his head on your thigh. and you might play with his hair, but only because it's unreasonably soft.
and some mornings when you wake up and make yourself breakfast, not even trying to be quiet, you'll make a little extra. but it's not for him, it's just a coincidence.
and he stops by the library on his way home from suguru's, or some girl's house, and the two of you will walk home together, talking about class, or the weather, or whatever gojo wants. you let him do this, because it's usually dark outside, and you don't like walking home alone.
and if he barges into your room sometimes--obviously not knocking--you only complain a little bit. and then you let him lay in your bed and mess with your things.
but only because it's the easier option, of course.
and you've missed the feeling of having someone near. and satoru gojo is easy to be around.
*
"gojo," you gasp, as soon as the door opens in your face. and then you scowl. "don't you knock?"
he pushes you so he can move past, raising a brow at you. "i live here." his hands are empty, and he's not wearing a coat again. just a weird button-up probably more expensive than your share of the rent. how he's survived over two decades, you're not sure.
your brows furrow at him. "well, you could give some warning if you're going to kick open the door. what if you broke my nose?"
"well, why were you standing right in front of the door when i kicked it?" gojo mimics, flicking you away, then looking down to your hands where your wallet and keys are piled up. "you going somewhere?"
"to the store."
"it's eleven."
"why thank you for that update, gojo. i really appreciate it," and then you move beside him to open the door.
but gojo grabs your hand, making sure to roll his eyes at you where you can see it, and pulls you away so he can step in front of the door. "what could you need from the store right now?"
"i need stuff."
he crosses his arms, uncharacteristically stern. "like what?"
"stuff. girl stuff. you wouldn't get it."
he gasps, mouth dropping. "oh no, did i steal too many of your tampons again?"
"first of all, that's against the apartment rules, so you better hope not. second of all, please move," you glare at him. "i need to hurry."
"you can't leave right now."
"i believe there's such a thing as free will..." you try and push him away, but he doesn't budge. "and you're not the boss of me."
"it's too late for you to walk to the store. go tomorrow."
you cross your arms. "when have i ever listened to you?" you ask him, feeling that familiar irritation crawl up your skin.
but then gojo is pulling your arms apart and resting them at your sides and saying "stop that," as a gentle chide. and that irritation molds. you push his hands away.
you want to push his hands off of the edge of the earth just so that he'll never touch you again.
"seriously, gojo, i need to go. they close at midnight."
"you can't walk to the store by yourself in the dark."
"i can do whatever i want."
"then i'm locking you in your room until tomorrow. you're grounded."
you poke his shoulder. you can't decide if he's serious or not. his voice is always teasing, and you can't see enough of his eyes. and you can't trust a single thing he says. "when did you become so overbearing?" you ask him, trying not to grind your teeth.
"when i realized how weak you are."
"weak?" you balk at him. "i'm not weak. please retract that sentence before i accidentally punch you."
"you can't even push me away from the door. i'll take my chances with your fists."
"that's because you're irritating me," you tell him, as you try to do it again. "anger distracts me."
he laughs at you, leaning even further against the door.
"gojo," you whine, trying to pinch him away instead. "stop being an ass. just get out of the way."
he holds a hand to his chest, offended. "i am showing concern about your safety," he claims, shaking his head at you.
"you are ruining my mood."
"oh, good."
you scowl. "move. right now."
"that was very intimidating," he grins at you, "but maybe try again."
you groan and try to stab him with your key, which he pushes away, still smiling, still completely the worst.
"i--" you sigh, "i don't like you very much."
he snorts.
then you pout at him, fluttering your eyelashes. "please, gojo. i'll be back in fifteen minutes."
"what is that?"
you frown. "what?"
"what's wrong with your face?"
you throw your arms up, shaking your head. then you mutter another thing about hating him under your breath and finally turn away. you set your keys and your wallet on the counter, pouting as you sit down on the couch.
gojo is there a moment later, laughing at you. "was that supposed to be convincing?"
"don't talk to me. ever again."
you shake your head, fed up with him and everything about this living situation. how are you locked in your apartment right now?
gojo tilts his head back, and then pauses for a moment.
"then how am i supposed to ask if you want to come with me to the store?" he asks, nonchalantly. "i need some stuff."
and you should be angry at him--you should probably break one of his fingers or cut his hair off in his sleep. you should tell him that you hate his company and that if he ever tells you what to do again--
but instead, you jump up from the couch, smiling at him. "let's go," you say, quickly, before you change your mind.
and you don't get to see it when gojo smiles back at you, softly.
*
"hey," he whispers, "you shouldn't sleep here."
gojo is shaking your shoulder gently, his breath on your face, his voice soft--even in the haze of disrupted sleep. there's a warm feeling in your belly as he speaks to you, an unknowing smile on your face.
"hmm?" you answer, trying to remember who you are and why you're here. who he is.
"it's almost midnight. what are you doing on the couch?" gojo is helping you sit up. his hands are ridiculously warm, and you don't think about how nice they feel on the bare skin of your back.
"gojo?"
he laughs. "the one and only. c'mon, i'll tuck you in."
"did you just get home?" you must still be sleeping, because his hands are so soft right now. and his voice is so quiet--like the creaking of an old house.
"yeah. are you going to get up?" he's kneeling in front of you, and his face is bare. you almost want to laugh at how bright his hair is even in the dark.
"where were you?"
he shakes his head, smiling up at you, and moves from the floor. "c'mon, sit up," he beckons, trying to get you to move your head from its place. you wince. eventually, he gives up and your heart almost disappears when he picks you up, tapping your legs so that you'll wrap them around his waist.
you do it, but only because you don't want to fall.
"why are you so tall?" you complain as he carries you to your room, feeling much more awake when you're this high in the air.
gojo snorts. "i'll take that as a thank you," he whispers in your ear and sets you on your bed. then he sits on the edge and takes your socks off, pulling the covers out from under you. his movements are slow as he covers every inch of skin he can see, his breath the only sound between the two of you.
it's colder when his hands move, and he looks at you for a moment as if trying to make sure he's satisfied with his job.
"are you going to make fun of me for this in the morning?"
gojo grins, squeezing your leg as he stands up. "probably. but only a little."
"okay," you yawn, blinking as he backs up towards the door.
"night, sweetheart," he whispers to you, and then a flash of hair is all you see before your door is closed and you drift back to sleep.
and in the morning you wake up and can't remember how you got in bed. gojo doesn't say a thing.
*
satoru gojo can say so much without saying a single thing.
when he burst into your room--surprising you because you hadn't realized he was home--throwing himself on your bed and mumbling something about hating his life, you didn't say a word.
and he'd sat there for ten minutes while you typed out a paper on your laptop, glancing over to him every couple of minutes, slightly worried because he hadn't moved an inch.
you've seen a lot of his moods recently. you've seen him excited about some movie you didn't understand, exhausted after a long day of classes, angry when suguru and you leave him out of a joke. but most of that, you assume, is just him being himself. every feeling he has is probably seven times larger than the average person's.
but now that he's groaning into your bed, you can tell, just from the way his body deflates, that there's something wrong. you could see it when he walked in the room, and felt it because he'd told you he was getting dinner with his parents tonight.
but if you know one thing about him, it's that he won't talk about it if you ask.
because after a couple of weeks of spending more and more time with him, you'd quickly realized that you didn't actually know much about his life. he doesn't tell any stories about his childhood, or high school years--minus the ones that he tried to suffocate suguru for letting slip. he doesn't mention his parents much, and when he does, it's nothing but the bare minimum. he mentions classes so offhandedly that you hadn't even known how extensive his studies were until suguru was teasing him about an award he'd gotten a couple of years ago.
he could talk to you for hours on end, but he wouldn't say anything.
so after realizing this, you'd resorted to asking suguru about it.
that night, gojo was asleep on the floor between your feet. his hand was under his head, and he was snoring loud enough for you to notice. you'd sat down to watch a movie with him after he'd claimed that you and suguru were losers for being tired at this hour and that he was the youngest of you all.
suguru only smiled a little bit at your question.
"satoru keeps an infinite amount of space between him and everyone else," he'd said softly, into the warm air of your apartment. "even with me, and i've known him since we were kids. his family..." he trailed off, shaking his head.
you'd frowned. "what?"
"he's always been too much for them, in a way. i mean, you know, he is too much most of the time. but he does all of it purposefully; the arrogance, the bravado. i don't know... i think he just wants to control whatever image everyone has of him. to the extent that his personality is based on pushing people away, just so he can figure out who's actually going to stick around."
you'd watched him then, with his fluttering eyelashes--his sunglasses lying on the ground next to him--and his bright hair. the gentle movement of his lips as he dreamt. he was softer like this, less forceful, less of a burden, and more of a boy.
and beautiful, of course, but that's an offhanded thought you wouldn't acknowledge.
"so, he doesn't talk to you about--" the words felt wrong, and you almost felt guilty for talking about him like this, with his best friend. but still. "--important stuff?"
"he talks to me about a lot of things. but, no, not really. i get a long-winded rant sometimes, but not often."
"then how are you supposed to know anything about him?"
suguru smiled at you, looking between you and gojo like there was a secret he didn't want to tell. he sighed. "satoru doesn't really tell me any of the important stuff because we've known each other for so long. i understand how his family is because i've watched him deal with them. i can guess how he's feeling based on his expression. but for people he hasn't known as long, like you, getting to know him is like i-spy."
suguru didn’t need to elaborate. you got it.
like trying to find little hints of him hidden between all of the mess. you'd snorted and agreed.
and it feels even more true now, with him cowering in your blankets. but still, you say nothing.
you get it, to a certain degree. vulnerability was one of the feelings you liked to push away; secrets were only supposed to be coveted by you. getting close to people was a dangerous thing, risky in its own way.
but, thinking that gojo doesn't trust you--couldn't trust you... it's more irritating than it should be. and maybe that's just because you're arrogant, and think yourself to be trustworthy. or maybe it's because you trust him, in your own unique way, even with all of his too much and extremeness.
you don't say that to him though, just like he doesn't say anything to you.
"hey," you push him with a foot. "are you drooling on my comforter?"
there's a moment of silence, then gojo rolls over. "not a lot."
you roll your eyes at him and type another sentence--a collection of words that have nothing to do with the actual essay you're writing, naturally--waiting for him to say something else.
and, predictably, he does. "why aren't you paying attention to me?"
"i'm busy, gojo."
"no, you're not."
"i am doing homework."
he looks up at you. his sunglasses are somewhere on your floor. "well, then you're definitely not busy," he grins.
you swat away a hand that tries to steal your computer.
"aren't you supposed to be at dinner?" you ask him, trying to seem like you don't care about the answer.
he sighs again. "canceled."
"why?"
"my dad had a meeting or something."
"oh."
you let the silence wade for a minute or two, trying to be discreet when you watch his face for any signs of discontent. but gojo just has his eyes closed. his hands above his head.
eventually, you nudge him again. "did you eat anything?"
he shakes his head.
"do you want me to make you something?"
an eye opens. he turns over and rests his head on his hands, squinting at you. "are you being nice to me?"
"not intentionally."
he snorts, poking you, almost in awe. "you are."
"i'm just trying to make sure you don't die, okay? who knows what you've eaten today."
he crawls up your bed, sitting right next to you so he can rest his head on your shoulder. and you should push him off, but you don't. "it's okay. i'm not very hungry."
"that's not what i asked."
gojo laughs against you, his hair brushing against your neck.
you shouldn't say anything more. you shouldn't even entertain him and his antics, and you shouldn't even care (but you do. for some, stupid, infuriating reason).
so you look at him, and your voice is soft when you ask, "you okay?" to him, hoping that it doesn't seem too intrusive. wishing that you didn't actually care if he was or not.
gojo's eyes meet yours, and for a brief moment, you get that feeling again.
that feeling in your stomach that makes you want to jump away from him. that makes your hands want to shake, and your voice fade. that feeling that you know--too well, too much--but can't get rid of.
like an itch you're not really supposed to scratch.
gojo swallows. "yeah," he answers, with no grin, no conceit. "i'm okay."
and it shouldn't feel like a relief to hear, but it does. you nod, look away, and go back to your computer. back to your actual life, which shouldn't have any satoru gojo in it.
but a minute later he adds: "i'd be better if you made me dinner, though."
and you pull on his hair a little. you try to pretend like his smile doesn't fill you with butterflies.
*
this shouldn't be happening.
it's the only reasonable thought running through your brain at the moment. the only echo you can discern, the only words you can make out in the jumble of anxiety and horror running through your mind.
he should not be this close.
gojo had only picked you up from work once again, his easy smile meeting yours as soon as he walked through the door--you'd been waiting, wondering when he was going to show up.
at seven-thirty he was there, letting in the cold air and sitting in the seat next to yours, complaining about the fact that you had a job that diverted your attention away from him while you rolled your eyes.
he sat there for the half an hour remaining in your shift, distracting you.
two months ago you would've kicked him out. would've called some make-believe security.
but you just listened while he talked to you about space theories that didn't make any sense.
and then he'd grabbed your bag for you, turning off the lights before you could, pushing in chairs while you organized the reception desk.
and his hand grabbed yours before you thought to notice--swinging along while the two of you began the walk home.
and halfway there, gojo stopped, looking up at something. "hey," he'd poked you. "look at the stars."
you'd done it, begrudgingly, squinting. "i can count, like, three."
"there's at least five."
"why did you stop me to do this? it's cold."
"because they look nice," he argues, looking down at you. "you have no eye for beauty."
and, really, you might've agreed with him. you might've pushed him away from you and told him to hurry up and you might've not cared at all.
but you could see his eyes, just a little bit, behind his sunglasses. and his smile was alabaster, and that feeling--that gasping for breath, trying to hold on to anything feeling--was there again.
and it was poking you. like a push in some direction. like a laugh telling you that you were too afraid to do anything.
you were looking at him. right at his face and the only thing you wanted to say was that he was wrong.
he was wrong because at least you knew that he looked beautiful.
but those words wouldn't leave your lips--that thought couldn't leave your head--so you were only staring at him. wishing that you'd never let him into your apartment and that he hadn't started becoming a person to you.
it wasn't fair like this.
"what?" he whispered, his smile dropping, like he could tell there was something wrong with you. like he knew you that well.
if he'd kept on smiling, you wouldn't have done it. you wouldn't have pushed up on your toes and leaned into him, and you wouldn't have kissed him like you did.
like you're doing.
and it would've been fine because you never would've started this knowing that it would eventually have to stop.
and even though it takes him less than a second to kiss you back--his lips molding to yours like an automatic reaction--you know that you shouldn't be doing this.
that you can't be doing this. not with him. not like this.
so when gojo's hands move to your waist, his breath even in your mouth, you push at his chest. and you want to run away.
"i'm--" you swallow, trying not to taste him, the bubblegum flavor of him, and almost flinch away. "i'm sorry."
gojo's mouth is frozen from where he stands two feet away. his hands are in the air like he doesn't know what to do with them. "you..."
and you've never heard him speechless before. just the idea of it makes you blurt out whatever comes to mind. "i shouldn't have done that," you tell him, and, "i didn't mean to--i don't--" you shake your head. "sorry. i'm sorry. can we forget about this? can we get home because i'm really cold?"
"you kissed me," gojo says, so simply.
the words are another blow to your heart. you were hoping that he wouldn't have noticed.
and wince and watch him, his face as it shifts, moving with each thought in his head.
"gojo, i'm really--"
"no," he interrupts, taking a step towards you.
"what?"
"that's not my name."
you frown. "yes it is?"
he shakes his head. "no, it's satoru. you've said it before, you know. you should keep saying it."
"when have i said it?" you ask, momentarily blinded by how he demands this. who is he to demand anything?
"when you were drunk."
you scoff. "i'm not just going to call you by your first name cause you want me to," you tell him, "who do you think i am?"
and then satoru laughs, shaking his head at you, his grin full-force on his face. "are you serious? you kissed me and now you don't want to call me by my first name?"
you freeze. "i said i was sorry about that," you say, weakly.
you feel like who you've always felt around him. not as easy, not as cool, never as smooth. you feel like a child caught doing something they're not supposed to. you want to run away from him, but he knows where you live.
"you're sorry?"
"i didn't mean to."
he quirks a brow. "you didn't mean to?"
"it was an accident?"
he takes another step closer. "it was an accident?"
"are you just going to keep repeating everything i say?" you ask, voice hard. this must be a dream.
satoru shakes his head at you. "no, but i have a question."
"...okay."
"if i try to kiss you right now, are you going to try and murder me? i know that we're away from the apartment right now, but it would really ruin the mood."
you stare at him.
it must be answer enough because he steps forward and he kisses you again. but this time, it feels less mechanical. his lips are soft and smooth as they push against yours--and he pushes like he's demanding something from you. like he knows more about what you can give than you do.
and he grins against you like he's doing everything exactly right.
but when satoru pulls back, your eyes stay shut. you try and banish the feeling in your stomach from your body, but it doesn't respond to idle threats.
"we shouldn't do this," you whisper to him. you don't open your eyes. you don't want to see his face and fall victim to another one of his schemes.
"why not?"
"the last time i kissed one of my roommates..." you imply, hoping that you don't have to tell him that you're scared.
"oh, right," he brushes some hair from your face. he has not moved an inch away from you. "i forgot that you're experienced."
"wasn't it obvious?"
he laughs, and then nudges your cheek with a finger. "look at me."
you shake your head.
"c'mon, just a little."
his voice is so soft. satoru is whispering like it's just for you. and you've never heard him like this and you don't think you want to see him.
"please, sweetheart?" he asks, one last time, and you have to. if only to put yourself out of your own misery. "good. now listen--"
"don't tell me what to do."
he rolls his eyes. "listen," he repeats. "i know you don't like me very much. and i know that you only keep me around for my rent money and my pretty face--"
you kinda want to hit him.
"--but i've wanted to kiss you for weeks. and i'm not good at the..." he swallows, blinking just briefly. "all of the telling stuff, but i want to be. with you. for you."
you're not sure if that's the end, or if it's the beginning. your eyes are stuck on his smile, and you're not listening to anything he said.
he's very close right now. so accessible. and it's just another reason to want to push him away.
satoru clears his throat, nudging your head with his nose. "and i'm tired of shoko and suguru calling me a coward, so it'd be great if you'd mention that you kissed me first."
your brows furrow. "you told shoko and suguru?"
"i didn't say anything," he almost swears. "they tricked me into admitting it."
"when?"
"...the day after i introduced you to them."
you pull away to observe his face. "really?"
he groans. "stop looking at me like that," he says, "it's mean."
you almost smile at him again. then close your eyes. "okay."
"havent you listened to anything i've said to you?" he asks, rhetorically. "i flirt with you every day."
"you flirt with everything."
"mmm, true," he leans his chin against your head, breathing you in. "now that i've poured my heart out for you, can we go home? it's cold out here, and i'd rather make out on our couch than that bench over there."
"who said anything about making out?"
"please," he wraps an arm around your shoulder, and smiles down at you--with all of the typical swagger--and maybe this time you let him.
*
GATHER ROUND KITTENS… 🐺 it’s POLL TIME 😈
i have a few ideas brewin lmk what yall want first😋