As Much As I Love The Endless Mockery Of Ben Shapiro’s Bad Takes On Glass Onion, I Am Compelled To

As much as I love the endless mockery of Ben Shapiro’s bad takes on Glass Onion, I am compelled to point out his actual reasons for going off on this movie in particular because, appropriately, his motivation has layers.

Despite all evidence to the contrary, Ben Shapiro is not an idiot unaware that whodunits misdirect people. The reason he is sloppily complaining about a well-executed movie is because it has politics he doesn’t like and - more importantly - it’s proven to be a pretty popular and successful piece of media.

As the preeminent smart boi of the conservative grift-o-sphere, Ben has to respond to Glass Onion. It doesn’t matter that his criticism of its plot or writing makes him look stupid. He just needs to temporarily pretend for the length of a Twitter Thread that misdirects and tropes are “lazy writing.” As a far-right reactionary, Glass Onion demands…well. A Reaction.

Sure, people are mocking him - a failed writer of two extremely bad political thrillers - for his bad takes. Ben Shapiro is okay with looking foolish, because we and the rest of the people ribbing on him aren’t his intended audience. He’s the master of Youtube sound-bites and talking fast at college kids who have less media training than him. His bona-fides as a smart opinion haver has been well established as far as his millions of followers are concerned.

No, Ben’s role in the conservative ecosystem is to say stupid phrases like “Musk is one of the most successful entrepreneurs in human history” in his movie criticism so the people who believe that bullroar can emphatically agree and be reassured that ‘popular thing is bad.’

Meanwhile, the pundits like Ben who don’t really believe the crap they’re saying have to loudly pretend to believe it because it’s their job. It’s why Ben vocally denounced Trump as a dangerous candidate…until he became the frontrunner and it became disadvantageous to be a Trump critic. It’s why he defended Kanye West’s clear anti-Semitism…until the Hitler-stanning incident made it impossible to spin.

Because no matter what, Ben’s gotta maintain his position in the conservative ecosystem so he can hold on to those old, flabby, golden, oil-fracking billionaire titties.