Hi So I Have A Friend And We Call Each Other Wife A Lot And Talk About People We Think Are Pretty Including

In this world, nobody has your back. As i have discovered today, they shall not tell you things, despite having known each other your whole life.

(Nobody told me I was saying "narrating" wrong)

(I've been saying narra-rating and nobody corrected me)

Why is he holding eyes and are they, perchance, blue?

He who holds the orb holds it

I hasth purchased cookie dough approximately three nights ago, but, alas, I forgot to keep it refrigerated for I was suffering from an ailment (a cold) and it ended up on my desk for the three days. Unfortunately, it appears there's approximately half of a tube left, and I hate to waste such delicious food. That being said, is this alright to consume?

I shan't be taking constructive criticism unfortunately, my darling friend has already advised me against it, but, it is rather presumptions to assume someone such as I, whomst eats far more peculiar things, shall heed her warnings. With this in mind, I shall eventually conclude whether this was smart decision making, or, in fact, an error on my part.

Father hasth gambled than I shall read a mere eleventeen pages of my lovely light novel. With the knowledge I have severe reading block and have not dared touch this literature for many moons, I have utter confidence that I will read another 51.

The urge to talk with, like, a really victorian sounding vocabulary, and the desire to talk exclusively with um modern?? terms are both within me and they're fighting with swords right now. Most of the time this results in me sounding like a vampire who's been alive since the 1800's and eventually stopped trying to sort out the current slang and now says stuff like "you engaged in amorous congress, my dear bro? That's utterly awesome sauce!" Via text and I think I have to accept that

Wife is crying because I told her I just want her to be happy with life regardless of whether that's married to me in the future, or if she marries a man and I must remain her friend for eternity as long as she's content. WHAT DO I DO???? I DONR WANT HER CRYING??? HELP???

Wife's not working yk what that means

:( dinosaur time

I got hot water directly from the tap in my eye it burs so much

and now I'm sat in my bathroom crying via candle light oh my

Arguing with bro and panicking because I'm losing (I effectively stopped all further confrontation by asking if they're anemic mid fight)

If/when I finally get around to buying cosplay I NEED to aquire a chuuya one not just because he's an awesome character (which, admittedly, is one of the reasons) but my farmer ahh has sheep and I fear it'd be quite the nice little thing to cosplay him and take a picture with my orphan lamb