Some Nice Things To Do

Quotes

♥ words of wisdom from Janet ♥

Fearless Social Confidence: Strategies to Live Without Fear, Speak Without Insecurity, Beat Social Anxiety, and Stop Caring What Others Think - Patrick King book notes

Socially confident people:

expect to be accepted. When they meet strangers, they expect to make a good impression. They never approach situations thinking, “What if they don’t like me?” Instead they think, “I hope I like them.”

evaluate themselves positively. Socially confident people are encouraging, positive, and accepting of themselves. They give themselves leeway not to be perfect and don’t beat themselves up too harshly when they are not.

feel comfortable around superiors. Socially confident people feel comfortable because they don’t feel threatened, or that their flaws and vulnerabilities will be highlighted by the other person’s qualities.

With a lack of social confidence, you are usually choosing the thought that is cruelest to yourself.

when navy SEALs recognize that they are feeling overwhelmed, they regain control by focusing on their breath—breathing in for four seconds, holding for four seconds, and then out for four seconds, and repeating until you can feel your heart rate slow down and normalize.

Core beliefs: 

Steps in a thought diary entry can be arranged in the easy-to-remember A-C-B format—

Activating Event. Note down the event/ situation. This is simply the origin point of your emotional change. It’s whatever caused your emotional status to change from calm to agitation (a memory, a song, etc).

Consequences. In this step you identify the specific emotions and sensations that arose. These could be simple feeling words— “anxious,” “unhappy,” “sickened,” “panicky,” “melancholy,” “confused,” and so forth.

Beliefs. This is where the action begins. How do you link the activating event with the consequences? What unconscious narrative or story about yourself was told to achieve the consequence? (“What was I thinking?”  “What was going through my head when this happened?”  “What’s wrong with that?”“What does this all mean?”  “What does it reveal about me?”)

Now you’ve gotten to the bottom of your situation and figured out what your core beliefs are.

The first step is writing down one of the core beliefs you’ve just uncovered. Ask yourself what experiences you’ve had that prove your core belief wasn’t always true. Generate as many experiences as you can and be very specific about what happened.

Write down the core belief you’re examining.  Think of ways that you can put that belief to the test. These are actual tasks that you can perform.  Then, write down what you expect or predict will happen after conducting these tasks if your core belief was true.  Perform the tasks.  Write down what really happened after you completed your task.  Compare and contrast your predictions with what actually happened. Finally, document what you learned from the task and come up with a new, more reasonable core belief that goes in line with your discoveries.

Bushman’s results imply that sometimes the best course of action after being provoked to anger is to just sit quietly and let it pass.

There’s a direct link between social anxiety and negativity. A 2016 Australian research study showed that “elevated social anxiety vulnerability is characterized only by facilitated attentional engagement with socially negative information.” Obsessing over negative details—including by constantly talking about one’s problems—only reinforces one’s social fears and does nothing to inspire real confidence in a social setting.

Personalization is the mother of guilt. In the cognitive distortion of personalizing, you feel responsible for events that cannot conceivably be your fault. While it is admirable to take responsibility for your actions, there are things completely out of your control: the subway schedule, other people’s actions, and a million day-to-day factors.

Common cues of overgeneralization are “always” and “never.” When starting a sentence or a thought with “always” or “never,” consider whether you have the experience or evidence to back up the statement.

Other people aren't only what they are showing to the world. Most people put on a good show. But do you really know what might be going on in their private life? Take comfort from the fact that while there will be many people who are better at certain things than you are, there are also most certainly things that you will be better at.

If you are self-conscious and worried that people will judge you if you say something stupid or “off,” there's an easy workaround to that. The best approach is simple preparation. Create answers to predictable questions and conversations. Run that mental videotape in your mind about your past 10, 20, or 30 social conversations. I guarantee they are not all that different from each other.

Figure out the general questions that people will ask and the topics that will come up in normal conversation and be prepared with story-answers. For example, How was your weekend? What are you doing this weekend? How was your day? What do you do for work?

How can we ease ourselves into social confidence little by little? 

List the social situations you avoid. Ask yourself what kinds of gatherings or circumstances you steer clear of and write them all down in a list. Your list should include both physical situations—parties, family gatherings, work presentations, and so forth—and personal experiences that you don’t want to face.

Give each situation a SUDS level from 0 to 100.

Plan your goals.

Build your goal stepladder. You’ve planned a goal and have decided to start work. Remember, situational exposure is a bit-by-bit process.

You are yet to live your dreams and in greatness😇

I love you ma’am 😍❤️

It’s sad to say we seem to be the another traumatized generation

Cognitive Techniques To Change Your Thoughts ✨✨

Cognitive techniques are strategies used in cognitive therapy to help you identify and change negative thoughts and beliefs. These techniques should be practiced regularly so that they become habits.

Cognitive Restructuring: This involves identifying and challenging negative or irrational thoughts and replacing them with more positive or rational beliefs.

Thought Stopping: When you notice a negative thought entering your mind, you can mentally shout "Stop!" This interrupts the thought process and gives you a chance to replace the negative thought with a positive one.

Mindfulness and Meditation: These practices help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings in the present moment. When you observe your thoughts without judgment, you gain insight into negative patterns and choose to let them go.

Journaling: Writing down your thoughts can help you process and analyze them. With time you can identify patterns and work on changing negative thought cycles.

Positive Affirmations: Repeating positive statements can help counteract negative self talk and reinforce positive beliefs about yourself.

Evidence Collection: When faced with a negative belief, ask yourself, "What evidence do I have that supports or refutes this thought?" This can help you see things in a more balanced way.

Decatastrophizing: If you tend to imagine the worst scenario, ask yourself how likely it is to happen and what other possible outcomes there might be. This can help you view situations more realistically.

Labeling: Instead of saying "I am a failure," label the thought as "a negative thought about my abilities."

Distraction: Engaging in an activity or hobby can divert your attention from negative thoughts and give your mind a break.

Scheduling Worry Time: Instead of ruminating on worries throughout the day, set aside a specific time to process them. This can prevent constant worry and allow you to focus on other tasks.

Challenging Cognitive Distortions: Recognize and challenge cognitive distortions like black-and-white thinking, overgeneralization, and personalization.

Visual Imagery: Visualize a place or situation where you feel calm and happy. This can help shift your focus from negative thoughts.

These are very simple descriptions and examples of cognitive techniques. I listed the ones we can put into practice on our own. There are more in depth methods and practices used by doctors on different fields of study and practice. I can list, as well as add upon the information listed here.