Honesty, Some Of These Genuinely Changed My Life Once I Started To Really Listen And Incorporated Them

yes, doctors suck, but also "the medical ethics and patient interaction training doctors receive reinforces ableism" and "the hyper competitive medical school application process roots out the poor, the disabled, and those who would diversify the field" and "anti-establishment sentiment gets applications rejected and promotions requests denied, weeding out the doctors on our side" and "the gruesome nature of the job and the complete lack of mental health support for medical practitioners breeds apathy towards patients" and "insurance companies often define treatment solely on a cost-analysis basis" and "doctors take on such overwhelming student loan debt they have no choice but to pursue high paying jobs at the expense of their morals" are all also true

none of this absolves doctors of the truly horrendous things they say and do to patients, but it's important to acknowledge that rather than every doctor being coincidentally a bad person, there is something specific about this field and career path that gives rise to such high prevalence of ableist attitudes

and I WILL elaborate happily

Disabled trans guy escaping abuse

Hi friends! I'll try to keep this short (long version under the cut), but I need help. I may be getting into a housing program soon, made the mistake of telling my parents, and today they've been manipulating me trying to get me to stay. There's a long history of abuse, neglect, transphobia, and ableism - mainly on my dad's part.

I have $24 in my bank account. I can't drive, can't work, and am severely disabled. My mom wants me to make her and my father into healthcare proxies. When I was younger, my dad threatened me with institutionalization and conservatorship. I'm scared for my safety.

I just need some help. I'll apply for assistance when I qualify. I'm gonna need an emotional support animal. I don't know if I'll get the apt yet but see the cut for an explanation.

Venmo: julesfairy

I don't know what goal to set so I'll update this post when I can. Reblogs help a lot, if anything for knowing I'm not alone.

Long version: I'm 23, mentally ill/disabled, have no income, $24 in my bank account, live with my abusive father, and my parents refuse to call me my name/pronouns/etc. I also just left a cult-like group and found out I have a shit ton of nerve damage all over my body. So I'm having a time!

Anyway. I mistakenly told them that I've applied for a housing program and may be getting into a 1 bedroom apartment. They do not want me to leave, and today lovebombed, gaslit, and otherwise manipulated me into staying.

WHY I'M MAKING THIS POST NOW:

They know I'm meeting with the case worker tomorrow.

I don't know how they're going to react once they realize I'm going through with this. I'm worried about my father's reaction specifically - In the past, he's threatened to kick me out, kill himself, throw me in the psych ward, or put me under conservatorship. My mom just told me she wants me to make her and my father my healthcare proxy.

If I get this apartment, I'm going to apply for SNAP and Temporary Assistance as soon as I qualify, and rely on food banks. But if anyone can spare some cash, that'd help a lot too. I just need some help, I'm desperate. I don't know if I can take another failed escape.

'BUTCH MANIFESTO'

inspired by 'FEMME SHARK MANIFESTO' by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

(ID under cut)

Ko-Fi (Commissions Open!)

[ID: an original poem titled 'BUTCH MANIFESTO'. the stanzas are all on the left side of the page and lineated, except for the first line, and last stanza. Poem begins:

Listen up! Butches hold it down! We don’t spend hundreds of pounds on designer clothes and black and white tuxes – we shop off the charity shop rack, hand-me-downs from our bois, our men, our women. Butch is not a glamour word - Butch is not for the white collars in their 9-5 and their office parties, Butch is not for the woman in a police uniform with short cropped hair, Butch is not for the masc who looks down on our femmes, Butch is not for the dumbass white people who call themselves stud, like our people haven’t taken enough from black lesbians, Butch is not for the politician or the soldier, it’s for those of us who get shit done and don’t throw anyone under the bus; who stand between our loved ones and the white-knuckled fist; it’s for the people who take a breath of relief when they get home and get to lay their head on the shoulder of their baby and say, it’s hard, and I need you right now; it’s for those of us with hard-soled feet, worn by hours of standing, just so people can buy some useless shit on a Sunday. Butch is for the primary school teachers, the neighbour keeping your package safe, the hairstylist, the barber, the youth worker, the locked up, the sectioned, the evicted, the boy on the dole. Butches hold each other up, Butches stand up for communities, no matter how different we might be.

Butches stand up for Butches, because only we know the shit we face, we don’t argue over what butch looks like for someone - their struggle doesn’t counteract ours. We’re brothers, sisters, siblings, lovers, mentors, we don’t fight over femmes or fight each other. We help up our siblings who can’t hold themselves up and shouldn’t have to.

Butch is recognising our hurt, our pain, and making sure nobody has to go through that, in the very least not alone. Butch is not reproducing that hurt, butch isn’t the transfem exclusion, the toxicity, it’s driving our girls and boys to the abortion clinic, it’s holding your femme’s hair back over the toilet bowl, it’s telling your darlin’ to take a deep breath, before you poke the needle into her thigh, it’s holding back on punching the catcaller because you know it’ll put your lover in more danger, it’s fishing in your closet for an old, dusty dress for your questioning girl, it’s never calling the cops, it’s carrying the Narcan, it’s gathering the funds for bail, it’s tipping the waiter, it’s kissing the bruised chin of a fellow butch who’s built like a brick shithouse.

Butch is not all muscle, able-bodied, white Butch is not all skinny and androgynous Butch is care Butch is NURTURE. Butch is a cane and an unsteady step Butch is putting down the ramp Butch is wheeling up it Butch is addict Butch is straight-edge Butch is diaspora Butch is desi Butch is antiracist Butch is socialist Butch is punk Butch is black Butch is brown Butch is fat Butch is fat-loving Butch is mental illness Butch is antipsych Butch is autism Butch is trans Butch is anger Butch is tears Butch is grief Butch is the old bull Butch is the closeted kid in a dress Butch is the baby dyke wearing a rainbow flag cape Butch is smile lines Butch is crinkled eyes Butch is crying in your friend’s beat-up car Butch is foetal position Butch is pink Butch is motherhood Butch is fatherhood Butch is cat-dad Butch is fucking Butch is getting fucked Butch is stone Butch is bashful Butch is humble Butch is cocky Butch is proud Butch is single Butch is uneducated Butch is poet Butch is poetry Butch is council estate Butch is gentleness Butch is bones and spit and the soft curve of our lower backs the clenched jaw under a double chin the hard-eyes that any femme can see right through the estradiol the testosterone the carabiner clink the thick hands the cellulite the bloody pads the tampon string the mood swings the sagging tits the top surgery scars the swinging cock the hairy pussy the protruding t-dick the leather harness.

Butch is eternity Butch is sewn into the fabric of atoms Butch is love and solidarity Butch is never leaving anyone behind and never selling anyone out.

End poem. In the bottom right corner, the poet is signed as 'Ren H.' End ID].

why the signs are happy:

Aries: australia voted to make gay marriage legal Taurus: australia voted to make gay marriage legal Gemini: australia voted to make gay marriage legal cancer: australia voted to make gay marriage legal Leo: australia voted to make gay marriage legal Virgo: australia voted to make gay marriage legal libra: australia voted to make gay marriage legal Scorpio: australia voted to make gay marriage legal Sagittarius: australia voted to make gay marriage legal Capricorn: australia voted to make gay marriage legal Aquarius: australia voted to make gay marriage legal Pisces: australia voted to make gay marriage legal

Living with Chronic pain is so weird.

In every quiet moment there’s pain.

If some asks me how I am I usually say ‘fine’ or ‘good’ or ‘a bit tired’

because those are easier to say than ‘I’m in a lot of pain’ ‘I’m this close to passing out’ ‘if I move to quickly I will throw up’ 

and sometimes when people say ‘How are things going?’ 

I shrug and say ‘the usual’

and they assume that means everything’s fine because for them that is the usual

but for me the usual is pain.

you do not deserve your pain

you did nothing to deserve your pain

Greece by Dimitris Tamvakos

Okey, the Russian performance has the exact level of batshit insane I’m here for. 12 points

this... this is actually really helpful

notes for my impostor syndrome:

• no, it's not painful to walk for abled-bodied people

• no, healthy people don't usually use every chance they get to lean against walls or sit down

• no, ableds don't dream about shower stool

• no, ableds don't celebrate days when they're not in pain. because usually they're not in pain

• no, ableds don't want to stop walking mid-way, lay down on the ground, curl up and cry and whine from pain

• no, ableds aren't exhausted by their own bodies 24/7

Yeah, so where's my credit?🥺

Being chronically ill or having chronic pain is exhausting, but it's also normal for you after a while, so it's not really a bummer most of the time. It's just "oh yeah lol my hands usually feel like someone attacked them with small hammers" but you know, it's whatever.

That is, until one time you get up on the wrong side of the bed, or you're a bit hormonal, or too many other things go wrong, or you're just Sick Of It for a minute, and you completely break down and you can't stand the continuous discomfort, the tiredness, the pain, the having to remember medication, always keeping your guard up, dealing with risks day to day, watching your self care habits, not being able to work (and oftentimes having to anyway) etc etc. But then you're fine again and you go back to the small hammers and it's normal again.

It's tough living with that and never getting any credit for it, tbh