I've Used A Wheelchair For About A Week Now And I Was Soo Nervous About It. But It's Honestly Been Great,

listen I ended up regretting saying anything about this on my old blog because people will interpret literally any and every statement maliciously on this hellsite but I want to start like. a helpline for people who are like “hey I pretty much only read YA but I’m like 22 now and don’t relate to teenagers as much, it’s such a shame that there are no fun books written for adults :(” because boy HOWDY are there some fun books for adults 

if you live with chronic pain you are the baddest bitch on earth. literally badass as fuck. also you are cool and mysterious and everyone thinks ur sexy. every day u wake up in pain u wake up hotter and cooler than the day before. trust me thats how it works.

Do you think it's better to fail at something worthwhile, or to succeed at something meaningless?

“We all looked up” by Tommy Wallach

Hiii, I thought I'd make a post where I write some stuff about myself:) my handle used to be "trapped-in-a-burning-body"

So, intro facts:

▪︎ Danish

▪︎ 24 years old

▪︎ Nobinary lesbian

▪︎ My pronouns: they/them

▪︎ Disabled, lived with chronic pain for most of my life

▪︎ Studying medicine

I'm navigating going to uni while attempting to have a personal life and respect my body's boundaries. It's challenging on the best days, impossible on the worst. I've just learned how to bind books, and I've made a few too many already. I'm trying and failing to watch less netflix AND I've just started watching anime, which is very exciting. I love reading, mostly random medical books or fantasy, and I write poetry, mostly about being disabled.

I would love to connect with more people on here, so feel free to dm me:D

Went on a date and they were like "I'm sorry you're disabled". My first thought was to get frustrated or feel patronised, but, that doesn't get us anywhere. So i thought about it and tempered my reaction, and what I came to was this: they're sad, but I'm not!

I understand the impulse to feel bad about my life situation. I get it. It sucks. Like objectively. It bums me out too sometimes.

But im not sorry I'm disabled, I'm happy I'm alive! Im happy with disability, not in spite of it. It's a part of my life. I can no more be miserable about my disability than I can be about getting a bad haircut. It's a part of me and I can either live with it, or I can suffer. If those are my options i choose live with it. Its really that simple and drastic.

Disability means pain, yes, but pain does not mean suffering. I am in pain every day of my life, but I do not suffer. How does that work? I live my life. I live! Isn't that wonderful? I am alive and I have a good, privileged life! I have friends. I have community. I have family. I have passions. So long as i can find the good, I am not focused on my pain, and if i am not focused on my pain it cannot consume me, and if it cannot consume me then I cannot suffer.

My disability is just another thing that is part of me. I don't look at what I can't do. I look at what I want to do, and I find a way to get there.

My life looks different from an able bodied person's life. It just does, and it always will. It's going to be different. I can either embrace it, or I can be miserable. I can either live with it or i can suffer.

I choose to embrace it. I choose to live with it.

It wasn't easy to do so, don't get me wrong. I was miserable for such a long time. I wanted to die; I wanted to die so badly. I thought there was no worth in my life and that I'd never be worth anything. But that's not true.

My life is beautiful. It's not exactly what i wanted for myself, and yeah, if i could wave a magic wand and be in a perfect body... I wouldnt even hesitate to take that option. But that's not gonna happen. So i look at what I have, and I'm so grateful to have it in the first place.

I could be so much worse off. Im fortunate. Im lucky. Im an immigrant success story. I live in a better land. Im happy here. Im well integrated. This place is my home. My country looks after me. I dont want for food. I dont want for shelter. Thats amazing. So if I can look at the little things that im grateful for and build from there...

I dont have all the abilities i want. I will never have everything I want, no matter how simple it may seem. So instead, I will be grateful for what I do have.

Im not sorry i'm im a wheelchair! Im happy! How many people in the world dont have a wheelchair who need one? Im fortunate to have one. My wheelchair is freedom. My world opened up when i got my wheelchair the same way it did when i got my licence.

My life may be sad to you, but its not sad to me. And if its not sad to me, then its not sad! You dont have to feel sad for someones disability. I think its natural to want them to be able to do the same things you can, or to achieve the same things you can. I think you should foster that desire into finding ways to help bridge the gap between what someone can do and what they cant. Access is how you bridge that gap.

Feeling sad for someone with disability is a natural empathetic response. I think its wrong to shame people for it, but it is worth it to redirect their thinking. They are sad for me, but its because they can only see limits. But disability isnt about seeing limits, its about finding out how to move past them.

My life might look sad to you, but you dont know what i can do. You dont know how far ive come. You dont know what my life looks like beyond my disability because you've never been shown that. Its not a story thats told. And i dont mind showing you that theres more to my story than what i cant do.

So, i dont mind if someone tells me theyre sorry im in a wheelchair. Im not. Lets get past that impulse of empathy, and have a real conversation. Because you'll see that i'm not sad. I have a rich life and im happy. Once you can see all that joy, the wheelchair becomes secondary. Of course i'm happy, my life is good.

The wheelchair. The disability. Its set dressing. Its the stage my life takes place on. We cant ignore it. Its there. But it is not so big that it robs goodness from my world.

Am I happy about having my disability? No. But I'm not sad about it. Not anymore.

And that is going to be true about any other disabled person you meet. We dont need pity, because our lives dont warrant it. We dont need you to feel bad for us, because there is no need to feel bad. Its just life. Thats how it goes sometimes.

Once a disabled person's hit the acceptance stage, there's really no need to offer them your sympathies anymore. Be happy with them in their life, however that looks.

pain and suffering are not things you earn or deserve. they’re just things that happen, often with no rhyme or reason.

you do not deserve to be in pain.

you do not deserve to suffer.

I hope your pain subsides, and that you find good pain management strategies. and I hope you treat yourself with the kindness and compassion that you do deserve

hi, you there who are or are thinking about spending all day in bed, it’s okay, I’m not telling you to get up. I’d just like to do a quick check in to make sure you’ve got everything you need to be comfortable and safe.

Have you gotten up to take any meds you need?

Do you need to open or close your windows or curtains/blinds to make your environment nicer? (Fresh air, keep the cold out, sunlight/darkness)

Do you have a water bottle or a glass of water easily accessible? (Can also be juice, cordial, a meal replacement drink or anything else)

Do you have any over the counter or prescription as required meds you might need, like painkillers or anti nausea meds?

Is your phone or laptop charged?

Are you wearing comfortable clothing?

Do you have enough blankets/pillows to be warm and comfortable?

Do you have any snacks like fruit or chips or muesli bars in case you can’t get up to make a meal?

Are you able to change positions in bed (or sit up if you’re able)?

Do you have any regulation tools like fidgets, ear plugs, or journaling/art books or low energy hobbies you might want?

Are you being gentle and patient with yourself and your body today?

Thanks for doing this check in with me. I like to have some of these things prepared on my nightstand, or all together in the same space in my room so I don’t have to do as much work on low energy days. It can also help to have someone else prepare or get these things for you if you’re unable. Hope you have an uncomplicated day.

“I don’t want to be a burden” you’re more like a relief, a gift, a blessing actually

Visibly Disabled Nonexistence

[ Plain text: Visibly Disabled Nonexistence ]

Visibly disabled people don’t exist. We don’t get that privilege. 

We are our aids. Our deformities. Our movements that don’t match abled expectations. We are our weird noises and our inability to speak. We are medical and gross and nonhuman. We are disabled. We are not people.

We get asked about our private, personal medical information and we are to share the correct amount at all times. The correct amount is enough to satiate abled curiosity but not so much that it makes them uncomfortable. We are not to complain. We have nothing to complain about. Because we are not people.

We are fictional characters that make abled people remember how lucky they are. They would kill themselves if they were us. But they are not us. They will never be us. Because we are not people.

We cannot be happy, because we are disabled. And disability is tragic. We cannot be sad, because we’re not immediately dying. And when we’re immediately dying, that’s okay. Because we are not people.

We have to work or be in the hospital getting treatment at all times. If our lives aren’t for money, we shouldn’t exist. We don’t exist anyway. We are fictional characters. We are not people.

Our lives are simply stories made to tell children to behave. You don’t want to end up like that filthy cripple do you? You’re only a cripple when you misbehave. Because behaving makes you human. And we are not human.

We don’t exist. We are nonexistent, ungendered, unsexual disableds. We are stories. We are our disabilities first and ourselves never. Because we are not people.