BREAKDANCE GENTLY TO IT

what keith did for one year alone in his shack

used to crunch on dry spaghetti for every meal

washed his clothes in sprite

‘if there are any ghosts here tonight, can you make me sneeze?’ forces himself to sneeze ‘hOLY-’

when there was a desert storm he would run straight at the lightning, screaming the whole time

labelled his water tank ‘sweat’ and his gasoline tank ‘water’

had never sworn out loud before because of authority figures. the first time he finally did, it was in a whisper and he giggled so hard he blacked out

had a pet rock named ‘not-shiro’

he would talk to it and ask it questions

'not-shiro, can i gargle with soap if i run out of toothpaste? you’re right, that’s stupid. i’ll use laundry detergent instead’

the only song he had on his iPod was the barney theme song and he would breakdance gently to it

found a cave full of strange lion carvings and his first instinct was to lick the walls

'don’t mess with me i have a knife!!!!’

the desert lizard he’s threatening just blinks back at him

missed seeing cute boys. saw himself in a mirror and got so startled he punched it

found himself subconsciously spelling 'lance’ in his alphabet soup and got so mad he dunked the whole bowl on his head

he would write in the sand 'aliens hit me up i am single and willing’

took pictures of strange desert cryptids for his conspiracy board but they were just selfies

used his radio to listen for any news of shiro and make chewbacca noises on public channels

'i don’t like sand. it’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere’

when he sat on his hoverbike he would pretend he was in an old spice commercial

every time a shooting star passed overhead he would gasp and whisper 'shiro’

snuck back to the garrison so he could carve 'kieth’ into all of iverson’s belongings to torment him. only realised he spelt his own name wrong after the 546th carving

'snapshot this google earth!’ before he would raise his middle finger up at the sky

Lance & Hunk Broship

•Lance will just rant to Hunk for hours about how much he hates Keith -“…and his dumb face and his stupid mullet- I mean it’s not the 80s any more, why doesn’t he just cut it off-” -and Hunk just sits there like ‘Mmhmm, yeah, that’s right, you hate him so much. you aren’t hopelessly in love with that boy at all you totally don’t want to kiss him till you’re both gasping for breath you don’t want to make sweet love to him on a bed draped in silk sheets and rose petals. not one bit.’

•Sometimes they’ll look at each other and nod like they just had a mental conversation -Keith is completely mystified by this •Lance once tried to help Hunk in the kitchen to disastrous effect

•They’re always completely honest with each other; they’ll talk about pretty much anything. (This obviously means that Lance brings up some freaking weird stuff.) -Hunk talks about how much he misses Earth, misses the heat and scents and laughter of his family kitchen, packed with far more people then it could comfortably hold. -Lance tells him about how useless he feels among the paladins, how confused he is about his purpose, his life.

•Whenever Lance feels shitty he goes to Hunk for chamomile tea and pillow forts. Hunk lets him scream and rant and sob into his shoulder and is basically the Best Bro Ever.

These two are just amazing. I love my lil idiots. If you have any ideas/request, please ask me! I’m fresh out.

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ghoulpussy

6 years ago

princess mononoke au anyone?

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ghoulpussy

5 years ago

justin mcelroy: fantastic friend-shaped ageless deity who likely has the power to grant hilarious and extremely specific magical favors

travis mcelroy: nice and funny humanoid alien with a lumberjack aesthetic who has taken a liking to people and decided to stay long-term

griffin mcelroy: frightening but ultimately harmless trickster demon possessing the body of an IT helpdesk employee, genuinely just here for a laff

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ghoulpussy

7 years ago

Keith: is something burning?

Lance: only my desire for you

Keith: Lance, the toaster is on fire

Nerdy lil pidge headcanons

•Sleep? What is this sleep? Pidge knows not if it. -honestly tho she’ll be up till 1 AM on her computer and just nod off with the program still running -in the morning she’ll wake up with the keys imprinted into her face

•Whatever you do, NEVER INSULT HER HEIGHT she will huRT YOU -once Lance asked ‘how the weather was down there’ and she gave him the most painful uppercut in recorded history -his tongue was swollen for a week

•Tries to art -can’t art -goes to Hunk for comfort and food

•she’ll start humming at the most random times -and it fits right in with her music taste -by which I mean it’s just literally anything -Arctic Monkeys? Check. Britney Spears? Check. The Narwhal song 10 hours version? Check.

•She really misses her mom’s baking -one time Hunk made her peanut butter cookies and she nearly cried -but when he asked her if she was crying she smacked him with a cookie and told him to not ask stupid questions.

(where did he get the peanut buttter?! IDK maybe the space mall?)

•She’s so freaking gay I just?!?!! Marry me?! -*sees girl* -*quivers softly* holy shit

•Sarcasm Goddess™️ -“that girl was just aaaalll over me” -“what’s is it again, Lance? 38 rejections?”

I know some people prefer to think of Pidge as a guy or non binary, but I headcanon her as female (trans or not, it’s up to you) Please don’t hate! My ask box is open! Feel free to request headcanons for certain people, ships, AUs, etc.

Tags

voltron voltron pidge pidge gunderson pidge voltron headcanons pidge headcanon voltron hell nerdy lil pidge

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ghoulpussy

7 years ago