All You Knead Is Loaf

I'm sorry, I had to...

(First time participating in this, btw)

true BONERS will reblog 👊👊👊

Hey so completely unplanned but if u send a trick or treat, maybe a costume? And request a character, I'll write out a Lil bitty bit of them giving u a treat! Going for the rest of the night until I pass out 9r forget lol

I saw the design of this shirt on Twitter and decided to draw Sans on it!! 💙

Here's the original photo of the shirt:

my bf calls me weird for liking a skeleman (lovingly of course), how can I convince him that Sans is indeed very attractive the way he is? LMAO

I want to let you know, I have been wondering myself why I liked this boney boy for 5 MONTHS. Because I literally just- could NOT get it. He is the only character I find attractive, a literal anomaly.

It is more strange that i feel like, he was NEVER intended to be sexy, or manufactured to be a thirst bait, so.. why??

What made Sans so attractive to me?

Yes. His character is genuinely awesomely written ended is big part of the reason. But there is a lot more characters that are also awesomely written, and they're not my crush.

I GUESS to ME, a big part of his charm is that he's what >>society deemed<< as ugly.

it paradoxically made him MORE attractive. Short, 'chubby', acts like hes gross and hes bald.

I have a gut feeling sans DOES think he is ugly (and he is masking it with jokes..), from how Toby writes his fanfic, Sans said 'you have to be ugly for tumblr to like you' which is like.. so not true, tumblr sexymans are filled with tall skinny tuxedo wearing guys. If they are not, THEY WILL BE HUMANISED AND BE PUT IN A SUIT, but Sans? Everyone likes sans as a skeleton. Okay maybe people put him in a suit and make him tall due to the nature of the pixelated abstraction, but he's still a skeleton-

BUT the deal is:

Sans is aware he is ugly, yet, he 'seems' so confident with his appearance.

He doesn't complain about his stature, he just 'seem' to be that kind of guy who is chill and content with himself.

He can't even be bothered to look cool in his boss fight, its just him wearing his jacket and a sweatpants.. which is even more attractive than any armour he would wear ngl jehejdhebe, hes just casually destroying you, like hes was only ever TRYING. After he offered to spare you. As the game mocks you that Sans is supposed to be the easiest boss in the game.

It's almost inspiring?? Like he does not give a shit on whatever people think, he doesn't let other people control his own opinion of himself, instead he MAKES HIMSELF INTO A JOKE. "yep, that's right, i am me, watch'a gonna do bout it?"

He combs his bald head, he scratches his ass IN PUBLIC, He drinks ketchup to MAKE FUN that he has no 'insides'. HIS ROOM IS A LITERAL TRASH TORNADO (I did not get this joke for 7 years.. probably bc english is not my first language.) Then I saw the joke again, and I fucking lost my mind.

He makes me laugh.

Most importantly SANS IS FUN.

SOMETIMES the joke is that he is so confident in himself, he is willing to break the fourth wall and zoom into his fucking face.

He breaks the fourth wall about gaming conventions the most (I'm saying this because Papyrus, Mettaton and Mad Dummy also breaks the fourth wall)

Fun fact: there was 2 sanses in a room, but it looks like he could teleport from your POV. Which okay theres probably only 1 sans in Undertales Universe, but it is hilarious.

The """"shortcut"""" of teleporting in the wrong direction, is a joke on video game cutscenes.

he makes poop and fart jokes and does it the first time meeting you, totally embarassing both you (player) and him, to release the dark tension of the snowdin forest. He makes absolute TERRIBLE puns.

He pranks with one the dogs (that can only see through movements) by "appearing" and "dissapearing" in front of him.

He LIVES for absolute. Pure. Goofiness. And LIVES by the absurdity of his digital life in his game.

He loves to mess with you, and trick you. (We do a little trolling)

It made it feel like, he's very comfortable to be around (in theory). I wouldn't care if I do normal human functions, such as a fart in front of him, because he would go

"heh, good thing i can't breathe" his socket winks at you. Then he fakes himself choking and dying.

He kinda acts like a nice supportive dad, uncle or whoever you want him to be as.

Okay so..

(Speaking of fourth wall breaks.)

He reads back.

One of the special thing about sans is that he is one of those characters who "almost gets it" he almost gets that he is in a video game, Flowey came close too.

Most importantly, He is somewhat aware of the existence of YOU.

He pranks YOU. The time traveler. The anomaly. He is absolutely suspicious of Frisk's behaviours. Because well, you are controlling this child.

He 'implies' whoever killed the underground in Genocide is not Frisk, its someone outside that is causing it. The anomaly. (Though it is not confirmed if he sees frisk and the anomaly as the same in that route.)

He reveals that he had been aware of the anomaly, and he assumed.. that "the anomaly isn't happy." 🥺🥺🥺

Not only that this post where they explain that Sans is the most aware of the underground, even if he never got the sense of deja vu, just on the way he studied your face and how you acted. IS BAD ASS. It's what I have been saying!!

Trustworthy.

He hates making promises, because he will take it seriously.

Sure he is a shit head, and a prankster but he knows when to stop joking around. (He can literally study your damn face..)

Again this goes back to him being 'safe' to be around, you know? He's like a cuddly teddy bear by your side.. ⁄⁠(⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠-⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠)⁠⁄

It feels like it would be really hard to keep secrets away from him, because he could easily observe whatever you did, he could sense your guilt, sadness, joy, by just subtle movements of the muscles you've made. He is a silent and intelligent observer, masked as a comedic side gag.

And if I ever made a white lie, he would also probably shrug it off because it was not important/he doesn't care.

Also, It just feels.. If I ever done the "morally bad thing" he can 'judge' me, I want him to, I want him to steer me to the right direction. Because.. sometimes, doing the 'right thing' is hard, you know?

Don't get me wrong he is not purely good. he probably is lax on his judgement, I mean he still let you pass the judgement hall if you miss a single kill in genocide (all bc he knows you wont fuck up the entire universe), he probably won't care if you steal cookies from Papyrus, because he wants to see the chaos that would ensue.

But that just means, if he's mad at you for doing a bad, oh boy, you know you fucked up real bad... And oughh, just thinking of that makes me want to bow down and beg for forgiveness..

He makes me scared.

Okay. Hear me out.

Classic sans is more scarrier than like a LOT of horror monsters I have consumed in media (silent hill, monika, junji ito manga) , he is way scarrier than horrortale sans.

a part of it is how friendly he is to you, to the point, there is always associate sense of comfort with him, a SAFETY net, then when he says "You'd be dead where you stand." Shivers down my spine (no pun intended).

I felt a loss of power and control of the game.

I was so fucking mad at him for making me feel that way. That he could flip the script like that.

He is your friendly lazy man, that became an authoritive figure.

The more I think about his actions in game, the creepier he gets. Like my man has been watching our hero like a damn stalker, like Alphys. (To be fair he doesn't watch the whole thing, and he uses Frisk's face to see whatever is going on)

And man don't get me started with genocide.

Just the fact that it is implied he had power to 'kill you' or letting you 'be killed' but never did until last minute, and the fact that he would be able to survive our attack, "didja think i would-"

without someone else (assuming Frisk swung the second attack automatically) dealing a second blow to Sans. I still wonder how that would go..

It's why 'controlling' him in a story is so damn addicting to me. He is an 'imaginary toy' I could play with for eternity, and he cannot do anything but to subject to it.

As much as I despise and fear him being the one in control.. paradoxically, I wish he messed with me again, you know? I don't think there hasn't been any sans x readers where he messes with YOU. Too bad, so sad.

There is something nice about losing control too.

Accidental homoertocism on genocide (on my part ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ)

He is intelligent.

Okay but I think his intelligence and him being in control most of the time is my favourite part of him. I love that he uses his brain, I love he can read our face, I love that he absolutely is knowledgable in (in the in games universe) quantum mechanics, to the point it is implied that's how he was able to figure out teleportation.

He's just smart okay?! I love me smart boi.

The irony is strong with this one. See, I probably would not have a crush on him if his genocide fight existed in the first place. And if I didn't have a crush,

I wouldn't have attempted genocide, not because..I want to consume a timeline, no. I want to consume all the contents of him.

The tragedy that you can only see his 'other' self in a battle of death.

Not sure if that's even more morally corrupt than "just because you can, you HAVE to." Uhm.. Atleast I have an agenda..? 😂

This genocide fight alone made me have really complex feelings, these thoughts I cannot explain, and I still cannot explain to this day??

"you can't understand how this feels. knowing that one day, its all going to reset"

You can't understand how this feels, Sans. Knowing that one day, it's all going to end.

This unironically made me feel like, a messed up shitty version of lego joker from the lego batman movie. I am so down bad for Sans, I was willing to be his enemy. I KEEP DYING CUZ I KEEP STARING AT HIS STUPID UGLY AND TOTALLY NOT HANDSOME SWEATY FACE THIS IS SO UNFAIR.

I know it's weird. I have a crush on sans yet I want to hurt him, but I guess it's just the very nature of the concept of immortality (cough, Flowey).

The lack of empathy I have when there is no major consequences to my actions. (planning to reset after I kill sans) Knowing that this is all not real, that nothing would ever be enough.

Sans became a challenge to beat. Instead of a cry for you to stop.

I am just a pathetic wet cat playing the most heart breaking route finding any meaning in this game, as I am fighting another pathetic wet cat who is fighting for some semblance of control, trying hold me back.

Wow. That is relatable.

Morally grey views, nihilistic, and existentialist outlook. ARRGGHH, it hit me so hard while I was 12/13?! Like the post I linked here. It made me feel so heard. He made me feel heard, but at the cost of another version of 'ME', or just plain out just ME hurting him.

I was so hopeless at the time. So him just saying on what I feel. "is that just a poor excuse of being lazy? hell if i know" I dunno.. I guess.. I am glad a version of Sans finally vented out to me his feelings. Maybe there is a way to tell them what you knew about Sans. I wish I know a way to comfort him..

His chill attitude, and kindness.

Okay, now I have talked sans at his morally dark parts, and say he is a shit head but... He cares, and a teasing softie, he just does not show it often, and prefer to pull pranks.

- he gives free scraps of food for the dogs under the table.

- he reads car magazines implying he wanted to buy his brother a car, (HE HAS A TINY BIT OF HOPE TO SEE THE SURFACE!! GAR)

- He helps out santa(?) He gives out sexy robot figures to papyrus!

- and ofcourse a promise to an old lady he has never met because he didn't want to see her sad. DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HER NAME.

- keeping that promise and him believing in you, "SOMEONE really cares about YOU" (interpertation but still), him rooting for YOU.

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME?? ;-;

He is so chill that he would be on ride to almost anything you have.. except murdering the whole entire underground :troll_emoji:

And ofcourse.. the addicting nature of his "m y s t e r y"

though, I admit. Papyrus is more mysterious than Sans ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ But Sans got a few mysteries up his non existent arse. Its fun to think about it!!

I can just fill in the blanks for most of his character, his rooms door, has the same smoke is in deltarune teleportation room.

Ofcourse: How the fuck is he the most powerful boss in game? How the fuck did he become your judge of all ppl, why the fuck can he disable invincibility frames?

Where did he come from?

His expression is a pure blank face.

He can be anything.

I think the fact that theres so many AU's of him contributed to this but.. think about it.

My explanation is almost contradicting, he's trustworthy but he doesn't trust you, he's kind but he's scary, he's lazy but powerful(?), he hates you but he cares about you.

he's so morally grey you can literally do a LOT of shit with him, and it doesn't feel 'too out of character', and I can some-what justify some decissions he have made, if I simply gave an explanation of his thought process or how it got to that point.

He can be a childhood sweetheart, a 'bad boy', a y_ndere, a shy little guy, a lazy mofo, depressed little shit, or somewhat who is into absurdism that pranks you across space and time. Anything.

So. That is my explanation on why I find sans sexy, thankyou for coming to my ted talk. Lemme know if this speaks out to you.

If nothing satisfies you, you make a different AU LOL.

Je sus, this took so long to write.

that movie night sans game from @htsan's stream.

Sans... But he's a professor...

He may be seeing more than stars.

Outtertail for @ghostangel2000 birthday!

She had been wanting for outertale Sans x reader art/fics for a while. So why not do outertale x her?

A message from Sans✨

I always wanted to do this kind of thing... I hope it works properly (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)