So Much Of My Writing Recently Has Been In Messages And It's So Funny To Me. Like There Can Be A Whole

Hey Wolfy,

guess what I found at work today.

I'd like to know who thought this cookie cutter to be good idea, like, what was the thought process behind it?

God forbid I want to eat a cookie in the shape of Jesus on the cross

Could u please explain what's happening in France rn I'm nosy but I don't speak french at all

it's a shit show.

basically, i don't know if you're from europe or not, but we had the european election. in france for those elections not many people go to vote because they think that it's useless. that europe is too far from the day to day life, that it doesn't affect us. so the abstention rate is pretty high (around 60%). yet this year the ones that got the most votes are the RN (rassemblement national) the far right party. they are racist peaces of shit created after the second world war by former SS and collaborators. they want foreign people out of the country (even the ones with two nationalities), they are sexists and homophobic. yet in the last few years they've been on the rise. they managed to appear less extreme and more palatable to the mass. you have to remember that a lot of people are fed up and feel abandoned and are poor and somewhat they've been made to believe that it's foreign's people fault (thank you cnews, sort of french fox news that spews hatred and fake news and became the first news channel in term of audience). also they put a young man at the forefront to appeal to young people and it works. because a few years ago saying that you voted RN was taboo. you were shunned and mocked and treated as a racist. but now people are starting to be proud of that and that's what scary.

so after the RN got the best score at the election our president macron (worst president fucking ever) decided to announce the dissolution of parliament. which means that at the end of the month we'll have another election (which is so shot to even campaign for it). and of course after the european election the RN is a favorite. but if they do get the majority for this election they'll be able elect one of their own as the prime minister who in turn will elect all the other ministers. so i'm fucking scared shitless of that. it would mean that we'll become a far right country. i think macron thinks that he can show us how useless they are at governing a country (but that's also exactly how hitler got in power you know so). absolutely insane to gamble with our lives. anyway the left as decided to unite against them (praise them for once they did it quickly) so i think they are gonna be the main opponent of the far right. the problem is that a lot of people (and in the media and the bourgeoisie) prefer literal fascists to socialism. so now they're doing everything in their power to discredit the new leftist alliance. also the normal right are scrambling because their leader formed an alliance with the far right and many don't want that so they fired him and then he decided to barricade himself in their headquarters and it's been the funniest thing ever.

so we're trying to convince people to go fucking vote and to vote for the left alliance (le nouveau front populaire) by doing thirsty tiktok edits of the leftist deputies and it's fucking working apparently like are we living in a simulation???

sorry for the long rant but our country is on the verge of collapsing and it's pretty fucking insane that they're doing all that just before the olympics. like if the far right takes the government the people will riot (me included) and it's gonna get bad. so yeah there's that.

Guys, I miss my little brother actually. It sucks not being in school anymore cause it means I don't get to see my friends every day, and it's worse when it's the kid you baaaaasically adopted as your kid brother because like... I used to be there all the time as a support and stuff and now I just hst to sit here and check in from afar and hope that things are going OK in the in between times. Anyway, I miss that kid, I miss my friends.

I don't care how many dicks I have to suck or who they're attached to, I will get rid of the electoral college.

in like 5-8 years when gen alpha starts really making fun of gen z no one is allowed to complain because like 99% of people do nothing but treat those kids like shit

Rating band names based on their accuracy:

(I keep updating this list so check back later)

The Beatles: 3/10. None of these people are beetles, they’re just a bunch of fruity guys from Liverpool with matching haircuts

(Edit: changed from 0/10 to 3/10 because John Lennon beat his wife)

Pink Floyd: 4/10. There is not a single person named Floyd in the band, but some of the members do arguably look kinda pink

Nirvana: 10/10. Getting high and listening to Nirvana is roughly what I imagine actual nirvana to be like

Foo Fighters: either 0/10 or 10/10. I have never seen foo in real life so either they’re pretending to fight a problem that doesn’t exist or they’re doing an absolutely fantastic job of fighting it

The Eagles: 0/10. Same as the Beatles, there is not a single eagle in this band. The name is misleading and we have all been lied to

Queen: 6/10. Partial points for Freddie Mercury

Led Zeppelin: 0/10. I don’t think any of these guys have ever even seen a zeppelin, let alone one made of lead. A lead balloon would crash faster than my hopes and dreams

The Rolling Stones: 3/10. There is not a single stone in this band. Some points added because I’m pretty sure they rolled quite a few

U2: 0/10. Despite what the name says, I am not a member of this band

Metallica: 9/10. Naming a metal band “Metallica” is like naming your dog “doggy”

Red Hot Chili Peppers: 2/10. These guys are not chili peppers. They’re not even that hot, let alone red hot

Guns N’ Roses: 0/10. How the fuck could a gun or a flower play music

Backstreet Boys: ?/10. Depends entirely on their current given location

Simon and Garfunkel: 10/10. No notes

The Doors: 1/10. Jim Morrison is kinda shaped like a door tho

Chicago: 4/10. The number of people in this band does not come even remotely close to the population of Chicago. Points added because it originated in Chicago

Earth, wind, and fire: 2/10. This is even more innacurate than Chicago. Points added because wind instruments were often used

Def Leppard: 3/10. There is not a single leopard in this band. Some of the members are probably kinda deaf by now tho

The Beach Boys: ?/10. Accuracy depends entirely on location

The Black Eyed Peas: 6/10. Not sure what the hell an ‘eyed pea’ is but the black part is pretty accurate

Imagine Dragons: ?/10. Depends entirely on whether or not they’re thinking about dragons.

Cage the Elephant: 1/10. Why would you do that. Let the elephant go

Green Day: 0/10. They’re not even green

The Police: 0/10. There is not a single cop in this band

KISS: 5/10. I’m sure they probably kissed sometimes

The Monkees: 0/10. Are you fucking kidding me

We Butter the Bread with Butter: 8/10. I can’t verify this but I have no reason to suspect that they’d lie. Butter seems like the most logical thing to butter bread with

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard: 0/10. I got really excited about the concept of a lizard wizard only to be let down. My disappointment is immeasurable

They Might Be Giants: 5/10. I googled everyone in this band’s height, the tallest guy’s only 6’1 so I wouldn’t exactly consider him a giant. Then again, I can’t really argue because the claim was only that they MIGHT be giants

The Presidents of the United States of America: 2/10. None of these people are Joe Biden nor are any of them former presidents. This is incredibly misleading. I’m pretty sure “Lump” was written about my first girlfriend tho so I’ll give them a point or two

Gorillaz: 2/10 Not quite but we’re kinda close genetically so I’ll give them partial credit

The Killers: ?/10. I have no way of verifying if they’ve actually killed before but the fact that they’re not in prison tells me probably not

The Offspring: 10/10. These guys are definitely somebody’s offspring

Arctic Monkeys: 1/10. They are neither monkeys nor are they from the arctic

Thirty Seconds to Mars: 1/10. It takes WAY longer to get to mars than that

Beastie Boys: 8/10. They’re pretty beast on the guitar

Jimmy Eat World: 1/10. Slow the fuck down Jimmy, you’re biting off way more than you can chew

Hole: 9/10. One point deducted because I’m pretty sure they had more than one hole

Rage Against the Machine: 10/10. They did exactly that

Alice In Chains: 0/10. This is illegal. Let Alice go

The Band: 10/10. This could not possibly be more accurate

Nine Inch Nails: 1/10. I can’t find any good pictures of their feet but from what I can tell their fingernails definitely aren’t nine inches long

Bush: ?/10. Not quite sure about this one, felt uncomfortable asking

The Who: 2/10. I’m not dealing with this “Who’s On First” bullshit

Radiohead: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a radio for a head

Queens of the Stone Age: 0/10. This band should be called “five random dudes from the modern era” but FRDFTMA is a bit of a mouthful

Soundgarden: 2/10. Sound does not grow in the garden

Sonic Youth: 5/10. They’re not exactly youth anymore but the sonic part checks out

Talking heads: 8/10. There’s more to the band than just a bunch of disembodied heads but the heads do tend to talk

The Cranberries: 0/10. Decent music but I only added them so that the Beatles and Freddie Mercury weren’t the only fruits on this list

The Wiggles: 8/10. They do tend to wiggle a lot

Blue Man Group: 10/10. Yep!

Weezer: 5/10. They all look like they definitely have asthma

Limp Bizkit: 3/10. While the visual image of baked goods playing the guitar is hilarious, Fred durst is not a biscuit. Points added because he probably has erectile dysfunction

Stone Temple Pilots: 0/10. None of these people are accredited as being licensed to pilot anything, much less an entire stone temple. Stone temples don’t need pilots anyways

Wasted Youth: 8/10. I guess it really kinda depends on how you frame it but yeah, they probably wasted a lot of it

Them Crooked Vultures: 3/10. These are people and not birds but Dave Grohl’s posture is kinda bad and John Paul Jones is so old that his neck kinda looks like a vulture’s so I added some points

Audioslave: 0/10. Slavery is illegal

Traveling Wilburys: 4/10. Sure, they traveled a lot but not a single one of those lying bastards was named Wilbury

D12: 6/12. There were only 6 people in this band

NWA: 10/10. I’m a little too white to safely comment on this one but I’d say they nailed it

Jet: 1/10. A real jet would be way too loud

Goldfinger: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a finger made out of gold

No Doubt: ?/10. I can’t really be too sure how Gwen Stefani felt but I think it’s probably a safe assumption that she had some doubts

The White Stripes: 3/10. I bet if you stripped them down naked and made them stand shoulder to shoulder and squinted really hard they’d probably look more like white stripes

Screaming trees: 3/10. They scream occasionally

Garbage: 2/10. I think they’re being a little harsh on themselves, their music isn’t THAT bad

Butthole Surfers: 5/10. Not even gonna touch this one

Megadeth: 3/10. To be fair, some of the former members are dead but only a little amount of death, not mega death

Dead Kennedys: 2/10. Last I checked Kennedy was still dead but neither he nor his clones are members of this band

Cake: 0/10. The cake is a lie

Cracker: 8/10. Most of them are

Tool: 7/10. I don’t know much about their music but they sure look like tools

Counting Crows: ?/10. Is this what emo kids do instead of counting sheep? Accuracy depends on whatever bird they happen to be counting at the moment

Dave Matthews Band: 10/10. It certainly is

Oasis: 1/10. Their music is the opposite of an oasis

Blur: 2/10. They are not that fast

Barenaked Ladies: 0/10. If I wanted to be this disappointed I’d reestablish a connection with my biological father instead

Meat Puppets: 10/10. Technically, aren’t we all?

Live: 8/10. Apparently they still do live shows but I deducted some points because I’ve only ever heard their music on Spotify

ABBA: 9/10. I’m still not giving any points to Guns N’ Roses but that’s mostly out of spite

5 Finger Death Punch: 8/10 I guess it probably depends on how hard you hit them but this seems to be the usual amount of fingers to punch somebody with

All American Rejects: 9/10. They’re all rejects from America so I don’t really see any issue with this

T. Rex: 0/10. Even if any of these people WAS a T. Rex I don’t think their arms would be long enough to play their instruments

Free: 0/10. Unless you steal their music, in which case it becomes a 10/10

The Strokes: 3/10. To my knowledge, none of them have had a stroke but I still added a few points because the name was probably accurate for other reasons

The Smashing Pumpkins ?/10. Another thing I have no way of verifying but this seems like a waste of perfectly good pumpkins

Therapy?: ?/10. The hell are they asking me for? I don’t know their medical history

Twenty One Pilots. 0/10. There’s only two of them and neither is a licensed pilot

Finger Eleven: 0/10. Leave the poor Stranger Things girl out of this

Fall Out Boy: 9/10. I conferred with an expert on this one who confirmed that they are in fact boys who had a falling out

Cream: 8/10. Considering this was the OG supergroup I’m sure a lot of people did in fact cream when their music came out

Age regressor Damian Wayne my beloved <33

(You can pry this idea from my cold dead hands. And even then I'll pull a jason and come back to life just so I can snatch it back)

i love fur, i love leather, i love wool, i love long lasting materials without plastic in them that will decompose and go back into the ecosystem after serving me well for several decades.

Arab, Jewish, Friend to farm animals, died and resurrected. Cursed by the narrative because of who his father is.

Damian Wayne is sure one hell of a character

There's scenes in books and fics that I just adore for this reason. Actually, in film too. Any of y'all watched sense8? Yeah, that shit slaps. Possibly the best way I've seen sex and intimacy used to explore and develop characters. Not just their own perceptions, but how do the characters connect with each other? How does this baseline of humanity intersect with their sexuality? The fact that they use sex in a way that doesn't always feel overtly sexual, but just as a metaphor for pleasure, freedom, and connection, if that makes any sense. Man.

yeah bro it's a character study. the 2 thousand words of blowjob is vital to the study of the character