Me In The Corner B4 The New Writer Took Over For NW: Why Is This Happening? Who Cares? Ew? Is That Bea??

Was I supposed to find out for myself that dazai and chuuya were just like that (tm)

friend: so i heard you like batman

me:

me: are you sure you’re ready for this conversation

Dick Grayson ships in order of how toxic you should write them as adults in an established relationship imo (no batcest and we can discuss the harem at a later time)

Least

Dick X Wally: this is the quintessential friends to lovers story it’s adorable. Naturally a lil bit of toxicity bc nightwing is not a healthy person but still the ratio is 99% cute and 1% angst as adults. Feel free to angst away with the Robin/KF thing

Worlds where this is cute: young justice, earth prime pre Wally meeting Linda.

Dick X Kori: listen to me, if you ignore all the shitty writing (yes the babs wedding thing) they r perfect <3. The only person who I believe can be the lights light ya know. The broke up because they both took hits they couldn’t recover from but they still love each other and they’re my favorite canon pairing they should get back together and have a kid and be a cute lil family.

Worlds where this is cute: TT, Earth prime, DCAU, injustice, titans tomorrow, Lego Batman (every single earth actually)

Dick X Zatanna: cute, childhood crush turned sweethearts turned friends nothing to say here I just don’t think it would be toxic

Worlds where this is cute: young justice

Worlds where this should never happen: all the rest (she dated his dad)

Dick X Joey: I love them so I’m biased their relationship is on par with Dick and Wally taking field trips in the 80s. Also this is joeys most popular ship and that makes me laugh. BUT ANYWAY they’re just very homoerotic and I feel like they respect each other enough the toxicity would be on the lower side.

Worlds where this is cute: literally anytime before he possesses his dad’s body.

Times this is concerning: post possessing nightwings body (anyone remember that happening I just ignore it now, cuz I hate the whole evil Joey thing but if you wanna take this ship from 30% toxic to 140% write it post possession with the dude who had autonomy issues)

Dick x Kara: I just feel like the hero worship would get in the way a little bit

Worlds where this is cute: worlds finest

Worlds where this isn’t: the rest

Dick x Roy: I love them sm ur honor (despite how low I’m putting this, it’s one one my top ships) listen Dick and Roy adore each other and would die for each other, but the baggage?? The years of expectations?? The fights??? The fact that Dick gets more and more closed off when he’s mad usually but him and Roy in the same room and fists fly?? But the only people who can talk to Dick when he’s spiraling are Roy and Donna. Like ROY HARPER is one of Dick people!! You don’t understand how much I love how they can hurt each other while loving each other so so so much. They cause me pain. I don’t believe they’d ever mellow out Dick and Wally tho bc they’re whole relationship is heated they have never had a chill emotion about each other in their history of being characters that exist in the same space.

Worlds where this is cute: literally any world where the titans exist/have existed with speedy and Robin as core members

Worlds where no?: new 52 (I hate new 52 and ignore it tho so no universe sucks bc new 52 isn’t real and can’t hurt me)

Dick X Harley Quinn: see I hated this ship and I hate it in canon but I once read a fic that was good enough I now ship it on the dl and think it would be good for Harley to be with someone who can be a safety net. But like this is AU rare pair type shit and it’s low bc I literally cannot picture a canon universe where this isn’t the most toxic thing ever.

Worlds where yes: DCAU (AU) not even the canon one like the AU of the AU that is the DCAU (take a shot Everytime I say AU)

Dick X Shawn Tsang: I’m sorry yall Shawn was such a boring character I forgot she existed but I remember that she broke up with him after he lost his memory cuz she thought he was ghosting her and like not only does it feel like she just existed to give dick a love interest. Also this comic featured the character death wing and so it’s so low not bc the ship sucks except it does bc why dick?? Are you dating someone who hates heroes?? Why r u like this??? Stopppp but also bc imo the ship has a white bread type of content that is toxic to me personally and that’s more important.

Dick x Bea Bennet: I loved them sm in the beginning, best part of the Ric Grayson arc and then they added the spyral ties and made her a pirate and tbh that ruined it for me. Dick and Bea only work as a cute relationship if Bea is a way out or a window into the outside world like something to ground the man who is always trying to get his feet off the ground. It would be interesting. But now she’s just another another relationship where he didn’t know who he was dating and tbh I don’t think he’d be down for that post literally everything that’s ever happened to him romantically after the age of 16

Dick Babs: yes it’s this low, no I will not change it. It should be lower but I used to ship this so it’s only my fond memories keeping it this high. Babs slept with his father after dating him in at least 2 universes. Dick left Gotham for freedom and she quite literally drags him back Everytime they’re together it feels like about 30 years of Dicks character development is erased. And let’s not talk about Barbara used to be a congress woman Gordon. They deaged her to make her a decent love interest for someone who was a kid when she was running for congress. And because of the fact their characters don’t naturally balance out the way some of his other canon ships do (Bea, Shawn, KORI(the best canon ship imo), hell even Helena) it leads to the characters becoming flanderizations of themselves. Dick is a loveable himbo whose only defining characteristic is his ass and I hate to say it Barbara Gordon literally just turns into female Bruce and I hate it so much but genuinely read though some of their older stuff it’s like..ugh. Anyway I hate this ship I think it’s bad for both of them and while I’m not babs biggest fan I still like her and she and Dick should be best friends who get drunk on weekends and shit talk the bats and their respective teams (titans, birds of pray)

Dick X Helena bertinelli: yall wtf is this ship, if this is your main ship? Why? Tell me? Like what?? Helena??? Esp prime earth Helena?? He has more chemistry with midnighter than her (but we are not discussing the harem so I will remain silent)

Now the most toxic ship that isn’t incestuous is so obvious bc no one has ever pictured this ship with a modicum of health in it except its creator (derogatory) I’m 99% sure every single fic tagged this also has the domestic violence tag

Dick X Catalina Flores. Yeah no a billion times no this shit is so toxic the jack Napier fell into it and became the joker. This shit so toxic it only serves as a trauma boat for another person to swoop in and get him out I hate this so much.

Now dick is an old character so he has about a billion other relationships. But these are either the recent ones (Shawn, Bea) or the ones that have a lot of ao3 clout (birdflash) or something that makes my heart soft (dick and Joey) plus his most iconic 2 pairing I will not be getting into characters like Daphne, Clancy or Betty or anything else or the creepy ones like the fact he’s had shit with both catwoman and taila.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk

Dick is always 1 second away from a breakdown

And everyone around him falls into 2 groups

Group 1: you precious stupid man please let me help you I could help you so well. I’ll fight everything for you and get you so so much therapy please let me help you please

Group 2: bro that’s nightwing he’s fine literally perfect knows exactly what to do and when to do it. He doesn’t need our help we need his help

I love how in fanon Dick is all uwu jaybird has done nothing wrong I will do anything to bring him home and Jason is all fuck off you don’t love me, whereas in the comics it’s Jason who keeps trying to get DIck to join him and Dick keeps being like no, fuck off? You’re a murderous criminal why would I do that?

readcomiconline.li dont show me singles in my area i dont care about sex i only care about batman

YALL DONT UNDERSTAND

My favorite part of Bruce and Dicks relationship isn’t the unending loyalty and devotion and the self assured destruction of loving a man who hates himself on Dicks part and using an eternally flying man as a your stable ground on Bruce’s part

It’s not the adoration that feels like shackles or the unending trust that feels like raking hot coals over your back

It’s the fact that Dick Grayson will always love Bruce Wayne

And also

Always want to kick the absolute shit out of him

Violently

Like Dick has pent up rage and we see him lash out at people but almost never has he ever attacked any loved ones physically with the exception of Roy Harper after the women who they both loved more than life itself passed.

But with Bruce?

Yeah no

Dick not only hits to hurt

He hits with the aim of getting Bruce down and keeping him there.

It feels like vindication to him

He borderline revels in it

I mean look at the hits he landed during the Gotham War run or Forever Evil/Spyral

And then there’s Bruce

Who knows

Because he is not an idiot

And he knows he fucked up with Dick more than the rest as Robin (nothing can really compare to how he treats Jason as the red hood)

But do you think Batman feels guilt over the fact that Dick HAS this much rage and bitterness over the things Bruce has done

Like Dick in unendingly Kind and forgiving but he’s also and pardon my French, a dick (lowercase) so he absolutely holds resentment over the stuff Bruce did to him even if it’s water under the bridge in his day to day

But he’s still mad

He’s still mad over the loss of Robin

The gauntlet

The death of Jason Todd

The court of the owls

The reveal of Damian Wayne

The fact that Dick had to be Batman

The fact that Bruce died

The fact that Bruce told Dick he never should’ve been Batman

The fact that dick had to continue the cycle of orphans raising orphans

(no he doesn’t count Talia as a parent cuz then he’d have to view her as human and human life has value and in his opinion she has no value and should go find a nice comfy corner to die in like an old cat)

The fact that he was basically pushed into a pseudo father role with all the kids past Jason

Letting him kill the Joker

Bringing the joker back to life

Damian’s death

Steph’s fake death

Spyral

Losing his memories and leaving Dick alone at spyral

Showing Dick a video of him getting shot in the head when he’s mentally a 12 year old and also an amnesiac

And about 6 million other heart wrenching things

So yeah Dick hits to hurt and those times where Bruce has lost control (mind control, clone, fight etc) and Dick has Carte Blanche to cause harm to Bruce

He

Does

I love when I’m reading fanfiction about dick going thru it and everyone hating him and what not.

And then the author is like

Yeah yeah everyone hates him except Donna Donna would never hate him, but she’s busy and he doesn’t wanna fuck up her relationships despite the fact he knows she wouldn’t mind

Bc yes even in a premise as stupid as “everyone wakes up and hates dick Grayson” is we ALL collectively agree that there is no universe where Dick and Donna arent completely out of their minds with adoration for the other

Thank you to everyone who remembers that DONNA TROY WOULD NEVER

Okay listen I adore batsibling content in fanon but each group gets a different type

Gossipy more like friends 80% of the time. will shit talk each other but if anyone says shit they’re getting decked. It’s fluffy but in the “you know I love you right?” Is said really awkwardly after the other sibling is surprised you’re on their side way Jay and Dick

Sweet and fluffy I don’t like angst in this at all give me a very healthy very wholesome soft relationship that’s just good all the way through Tim and Dick

So sweet it hurts tooth rotting fluff needs the same taste as cotton candy with the weight of a brick Dick and Damian

Bratty younger sibling and anger issues older sibling get into fist fight and are hugging 30 secs later. Will punch each other in the face and then defend the other one against their parents without blinking. Damian and Steph

Very very awkward affection like I love you and would die for you but we’ve had like 3 whole conversations. Damian and Jason (on Jason’s end Damian’s a lil shit)

You know when your little sibling is finally no longer insufferable and you can finally chill together at family events and you’re like. Fuck wait you’re growing up stop that’s illegal. Damian and Tim

“I broke your laptop”

“Yeah well I put nair in your shampoo”

“I should’ve killed you at the tower”

“Don’t be a lil bitch bc you couldn’t handle the gig”

Jason and Tim

Supportive big brother who brags about his sisters achievements while being a lil worried she’ll beat him and no one will ever need him again and baby sister who tries so hard and does so well and hopes she’s living up to their expectations (dick and cass)

I’m friends with your ex now and so sometimes I’ll bring it up to fuck with you bc I think it’s funny energy like Steph tells Cass about what Tim has done during their relationship and Cass who loves Tim but also women has to affectionately beat him up now (Tim and Cass)

Cass and Damian? I don’t think I’ve ever seen these too interact in a fic where Cass can speak actually…. Fuck we need more baby Assassins squared content in this fandom

Let us commiserate on the absolute cringe of everyone else here without acknowledging we are just as bad (dick and Steph)

Cass doesn’t like Jason and so I will leave them out

Remember these aren’t their canon relationships these are just what I like to read in fanon (inspired by their canon relationships in most cases but also fully canon with dick and Tim we ignore any authors who say otherwise my babies)

No listen there are exactly 4 flavors of dc fan

Fan 1; most canon content consumed in Wayne family adventures, lives in fanon stereotypes and tumblr reblogs, usually only reads fanfiction to get their content fix

Fan 2; has never looked at fanon content in their lives, has somehow managed to literally every comic book you’ve never heard of. Is violently pissed at the fladerization of their fave. (For some reason hates Jason Todd)

Fan 3; likes fanon and canon but they cannot touch. On. The. Plate. Good and separate like me when I have anything with mashed potatoes or sauce. Sure Dick can be a little naive in Fanon but if he needs help working a computer in canon they will riot or if people T h I n k their fanon is canon. (Low key also will ignore fanon they disagree with)

Fan 4; can’t tell the difference and/or substitutes the cooler one. Canon is a subway sandwich and Fanon are the excess toppings. They honest to god would not be able to tell you which idea they got from the comics vs Reddit vs a tumblr shit post. Sometimes fanon bleeds over and someone might read nothing butt nightwing and think it’s good who knows? (High key will ignore the canon they disagree with)

Anyway tag yourself

My love of fandom and its ability to recreate works completely .vs. my absolute hatred for most fandom Nightwing interpretations. FIGHT