Imagine Bludhaven And Gotham Having A Custody Battle Over Nightwing

Dick:….

Jason:….

Tim:….

Dick: okay so was anyone gonna tell me Bruce is dating Joe Chills daughter or was I supposed to figure that out by myself.

Jason: HES WHAT

Tim:???????

Damian: I think I just threw up in my mouth

Cass: …is this that Freud guy you were telling me about?

Steph: somehow worse? I think?

Jason: Idk where does dating the daughter of your parents murderer fall on the Oedipus scale of morality?

Tim: more importantly where did you find out this information?

Damian: please tell me it’s a tabloid so I can bleach my brain of this conversation.

Dick: Babs tipped me off that something was up and I stalked em for a week

Tim: Ah classic

Jason: you really have one trick Grayson

Dick: Hey! No I do infiltrations, Tim and Cass are the stalker duo

Cass: *nods*

Jason: so… Bruce is actually dating the kid of the guy who offed mama and papa Wayne. That’s cold. I’m a little impressed actually.

Tim: Clark was RIGHT THERE

Dick: so was Selina

Steph: we could’ve had a Step wonder mom

Cass: you’re not adopted

Steph: is Wonder Woman was in this family I’d marry into it

Tim: *nods solemnly* Bernard would understand

Jason: Talia was there

Damian: that might be worse actually

Tim: nothing is worse than this

Dick: actually I might agree with Damian

Dick: anyway zatanna

Jason: didn’t you date her

Dick: that’s another timeline ignore it

Tim: Constantine

Damian: Dent

Dick: I’d take viki vale over this

Jason: same

Dick:…hey Duke can see into other realities right

Jason: depends on the writer..

Dick: when does he get back from his families

Tim: he stops by for 45 mins to steal some pastries and check his gear before patrol

Dick: … wanna see if we can get him to look into other realities and see the worst person Bruce has dated

Jason: yes

Tim: yes

Damian: no

Cass: yes

Steph: yes

Dick: you’re outvoted Damian I’ll see all of you tomorrow at the cave bright eyed and bushy tailed!

Someone draw nightwing with flat top angel fangs plz he’d be so pretty

He’s already like 80% vampire anyway plz

I love how severely Jason refuses to differentiate between Bruce and Batman while also refusing to acknowledge that Nightwing and Dick Grayson are the same dude

I refuse to become another goddamn mystery

Op I have 0.23 dollars would u like them? To make this show? Please? I have never needed anything more

I think Grayson would make an incredibly good 10 ep TV series but only if they leaned into making it extremely trippy. use Spyral's hypnos technology to mess with the viewer and create a 'who is who' mystery. it's only revealed that Agent 37 is Dick Grayson episode 3 and all of a sudden you're like "why is 37 talking to Bruce Wayne? is Batman in this universe?" 50/50 campy spy action and psychological thriller, culminating in a narrative arc about how Dick is using his funny persona to cope with extreme trauma. themes of perception and persona. aesthetically, it would draw on 70s/80s spy chic, flamboyant colors, music videos. lots of eye candy objectification of Grayson but then make it about his sexual trauma in the finale. strong first person narration where Grayson tells you he's everyone, he's no one, he's whoever you want him to be.

reblog to give your headache to elon musk instead

Plz my friends actually stopped finding me annoying since I can talk about something other than Dick Grayson

Let me get it out

bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements

Kind of ironic how one of Xie Lian's titles is "The god-pleasing crown prince" when the one thing he does consistently without fail is piss off the Heavenly Emperor.

they are eating all my brain cells

Me: I really like dc canon and frankly I think that fanon flanderizes the characters to the point where they are unrecognizable

Also me: Dick and Jason are drinking buddies,

Tim has put kon, Bernard and Steph in a gc called “the roster” and dipped.

Dick is not allowed to meet Barbara’s friends bc they all like him too much and then it’s rlly hard to bitch about him. (This is actually kinda canon thank u Dinah lance in birds of pray lmao)

The reverse of this is also true but for Dicks exes and Barbara like they get along TOO well.

Babs and Kori are friends.

Babs and Donna are sworn enemies. (Mutual)

Dick gets a different signature food with each of his siblings except Steph cuz they get smoothies. 

Dick keeps trying to get Steph and Donna to meet up but Everytime he tries Gotham gets blown up

Damian refuses to sneak pets in a trench coat bc it’s bad for them to be squished.

Duke is the only bat who knows about the mpreg joker story

Tim and Jason’s only texts to each other are “help” or “you lil shit what did you do!!?!”

Tim, Jason, Cass and Duke all like the discowing suit

Steph and Damian hate it

Damian says he’s spending the weekend not with his dad and everyone assumes Bruce and talia are trying split custody but he needs to bitch about Bruce so he goes to bludhaven

Donna and Dick get drunk together and get progressively more and more sappy about how they should move in together and how much they love each other, you’re amazing no you’re amazing.

Roy and Dick are besties who text like a divorced couple trying to coparent

Dicks exes are in a discord server called “raw. next question” and they have channels called “red heads only” “also dated his brother” “tried to kill him” etc

The redheads don’t have names in this discord “redhead 1” “red head 2” “redhead 3” and so on

They also don’t discuss dick in this server at all

Bruce calls dick for ideas about the Brucie Wayne persona and also when he just doesn’t get why people are mad at him.

Dick calls wally for help with menial tasks

Tim is a big big big fan of THC (same)

Dick goes to raves

Jason is actually the DARE Robin

An image of Dick at a rave went viral on Twitter and Bruce had a mental breakdown so did Jason

Stephanie will never ask Bruce for anything but she buys a 10$ coffee every morning on his card bc of that video of people saying young people can’t buy houses bc of Starbucks and avocado toast.

Jason has a video of 19 yr old Dick spitting at a police officer and he sent it on the family gc when he found out dick went undercover as a cop. It is one of 5 messages he has sent.

Everyone of the Bats is some shade of bisexual

Dicks house is the defacto Bruce is being a lil bitch for the bats and literally everyone who is affiliated with Bruce as long as you bring liquor you’re welcome

Garth and Dick watch sad movies together

Tim and Bruce watch all the bond films together

Damian and Dick watch bird documentaries together

Jason doesn’t watch tv bc he’s a secret hipster (he doesn’t have a tv they keep blowing up.)

Linda has absolutely asked Dick to swing with her and Wally and Dick told Wally about this and Wally’s only reaction was…”soooo is that a yesss or a no?”

The fab 5 titans all hate each others exes, refuse to acknowledge any guilt their friend had in the matter , and will absolutely pretend none of them have dated (they have all dated)

Bruce is in absolute denial that his children date. Like he knows dick has dated people but he assumes that it is kindergarten dating “ah dick spent the night at Barbara’s they must really like holding hands” “Bernard and Tim are moving so fast I mean I saw one of them kiss the other on the cheek??” Meanwhile he has traumatized all robins to ever Robin bc him and Selina Kyle can’t keep their hands right themselves

Also me: cognitive dissonance thank you for your service

Dick has like 25million ig followers, donna does his photos

Tim has a very popular shitpost account on Twitter from his pre Robin days that has statements like “if i was Batman I would simply barricade Arkham” and “stalking Nightwing rn we are up to 120 flips and 30 quips…. There is no else here”