Dalrymple… As In……. Thundergun Of Witchfinder-Colonel Ye-Shall-Not-Eat-Any-Living-Thing-With-The-Blood-Neither-Shall-Ye-Use-Enchantment-Nor-Observe-Times

Pretty much nailed it

OFMD Characters Based on What I’ve Seen From Gifs Because I Haven’t Watched The Show Yet:

- Blackbeard: looks scary but has a marshmallow center maybe? Insecure, should be protected even though he’s a big scary pirate. Shaves his beard later and I’m already sad about it.

- Fancy Man: big silly goober. Blackbeard is in love with him and he returns the feelings but it takes him longer to figure it out because he’s a big silly goober. Mega nerd.

- Pathetic Mean Little Bitch: one sided feelings for Blackbeard maybe? Embarrassing little man. I suspect he’s just pathetic enough for me to like.

- ‘Move I’m Gay’: has a lot of good one liners? Doesn’t think he’s cute but has decided to act cute anyway. Good character.

- Fancy Man’s Wife: deserves better.

- and like a million other characters I don’t remember

- I think there’s a seagull?

Omnivore is just bisexuality for things that eat

okay but the thing is we don’t talk about the moonlight scene ENOUGH. like yes, it’s obviously one of the most romantic scenes of the show but the L A Y E R S

first you have the red silk. stede’s never seen it before so he has no idea how much meaning it holds to ed, but he treats it so fucking gently and with such reverence that ed is quite visibly stunned. like that is ed’s heart!!! and he just hands it over!! and stede, without fucking KNOWING, takes it from ed’s hands, smooths it out, and tells him it’s LOVELY

and ed’s FACE when stede hands it back. he’s in AWE of him, this gentleman who treats him like a person and not some disembodied evil or mythological monster. idk how the fuck taika is able to put so much emotion in his eyes, but jesus cHRIST

AND THEN ED STEPS FORWARD AND LEANS IN TOWARDS STEDE. HE WANTS TO KISS HIM RIGHT THERE BUT DOESN’T. HE SETTLES FOR A PAT ON THE SHOULDER BECAUSE HE JUST WANTS TO FUCKING TOUCH HIM

and then they part ways but both look back, and ed carefully traces his fingers over the red silk, now carefully folded and tucked into his breast pocket on full display, not crumpled and hidden deep on his person

there’s so much in this scene and it’s only a minute and a half long. THAT is how you set up a romance. istfg this show is a literary masterpiece. if this shit doesn’t make you fucking feral than get the fuck out of my sight

#our fuh mn duh #possibly our fuh mn death #just depends on the day

This makes a lot of sense to me. I’ve haven’t had the chance to fall in love yet, that’s just not been a part of my life, but I think the reason I love this show so much is because even though they’re pirates it still feels like a realistic love story. It’s something that I can see in my future, unlike other romance shows/movies. And it’s queer!

I've been trying to tease apart why I've gone so terminally feral for this show in particular, and I think a big part of it is because it captures the feeling of falling in love so accurately that I feel like I'M falling in love. Butterflies in my stomach, nauseous when I think about it, can't STOP thinking about it love.

As much as we all love a classic rom-com/love story flick, they have wreaked havoc on our expectations of romance. The purpose of those films or shows are to play out our most grandiose fantasies of love and relationships, a level of drama we could never actually attain, as a form of escapism. There are no manic pixie dream girls whose sole personality is a brand of quirky that fits your interests and saves you from your disillusionment in life. In reality, pursuing someone so intensely without ever giving up or taking no for an answer until they finally win their love interest over has become a trope so pervasive that its bled into the insidious romantic imagination of Nice GuysTM world wide. In the real world, you probably will never have that spinny camera kiss in the pouring rain after you've beaten the odds and live happily ever after, and you might feel like nothing you can experience will ever live up to that feeling. Not to mention they're all heteronormative as fuck.

In OFMD the friends to lovers journey is tentative and slow. There's no moment where one of them takes their glasses off and they suddenly see the other in a whole new light. There's no one sided whining and pining, where there's no real interest in friendship and they only stick around hoping to someday get in the other's pants. They deeply care and fret about not ruining their friendship, about not making the other uncomfortable or pressured. Most of my personal long term relationships started out as friendships, and it was a delicate drawn out testing of the waters before it naturally evolved. And this is particularly common in queer relationships where the lines between platonic and romantic love are often blurred because there are no models of courtship to look to for guidance.

I've seen people talk about how their kiss was too awkward, but that's how real first kisses are. Confessing your feelings is mortifying and nerve wracking, and hearing it makes you blush and stammer. You miss their lips and knock your heads, you don't know where to put your hands. You're nervous. It's not perfect but it's sweet.

And hats off to Taika for absolutely nailing true heartbreak. It feels like your world is ending and your life has come crashing down like they show in the movies but it also makes you feel small and soft and scared. It's the squeak in your voice when someone asks you how you are and you can feel yourself trying not to cry but you can't stop it. It's feeling so emotionally exhausted that you can't even bring your self to be angry, you'd just rather curl up into a ball and die. It's thinking you're moving on until something small reminds you of them and you ugly cry until snot is running down your face and you can't catch your breath. It's hiding under your covers and writing shit poetry in your notes app.

OFMD isn't "I wish I could experience this love story." OFMD is "I have experienced this love story." Falling in love can be the most huge, overwhelming, transcendental part of the human experience. It doesn't need exaggeration. It's the little things, it's like Mary says. It's them understanding your idiosyncrasies and finding them charming. It's exposing each other to new things and new ideas. It's laughing a lot. It's passing the time well.

It's mundane and it's amazing. It's easy, it's like breathing. This show has made me fall in love with the idea of falling in love all over again.

I think there’s both a stereotype and an expectation in the queer community that relationships must move fast. You met each other yesterday and now you’re moving in together. You’re having sex on the first date. You’re getting married after one week of dating. People are allowed to do whatever they want, but this feels like too much pressure for me. It’s also making it a lot harder to figure out if I’m demi or just… scared

Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking—

the krusty krab literally needs spongebob

I needed this drag. Let’s change guys and not look back