I Could Never Be A Pirate Because I Don’t Like Seafood

this will be real in 24 hours

ok crew, i want to talk about myth and meaning making

(and originally petrified oranges but since i've already spent 2 hours of my life going red strings and thumbtacks about how that may actually be a possibility lets change course from steering to port and head starboard instead)

first, when i say myth i'm talking the foundation stories of social groups. religions have foundation myths, but so do governments, nations, companies etc.

"this is who we are, and why we do things the way we do."

and history is a myth too, albeit one reinforced by governments and scholars. and it usually focuses on people with the resources, power and affluence to order it to be recorded. which gets echoed in how Lucius was ordered to record everything,, except for, you know, mutiny and normal mundane things that have no bearing on Stede and his exploits (there really should have been some inventory done to check the orange supply at some point, like inventory and ship's logs are actually pretty well recorded if the cargo breakdowns in Black Flags Blue Waters 2018 are anything to go by).

but between massive english illiteracy until very very recently, and the bias of what gets preserved and copied down or thrown out, it's easy to see how the great man of history model was so easy to perpetuate. we don't really have examples from anyone BUT the "great men" of history, at least not easily accessible or widely distributed. (museums are trying with the massive document uploads, but this is also what makes Anne Lister's diary such a treasure for queer history).

if you've never heard of Jane Elliott's blue eyes/brown eyes experience i highly recommend looking it up. in essence, school children's ability to do timed math flash cards is directly linked to whether their teacher and classmates are telling them they are superior or inferior humans based only on the color of their eyes. (their self esteem also took a massive hit but the flashcards were actually trackable). basically, authority figure and peers say ur bad at ____ enough, u can't perform at ____, even if you're actually pretty good at it.

and this applies to friend groups too!

are you a mom friend because you are naturally that category? or because someone has labeled you that and you fill that role for them?

now! party time!

the amount of self-policing and pageantry and snobbery rolling off these rich people. who decided dining required a week of personal tutoring so you don't get laughed out of the room? brutal. i'm with Ed here, these social customs make no sense and are designed to mark out who is wealthy, idle, and in-the-know from everyone else. as if to say 'you will never be one of us you can't even eat properly'.

it further underscores the flashback to Ed's mom giving the 'people like us don't get nice things' speech. she's parroting what's been drilled into her until she believes it. now it's her reality and her child's too. but something in Ed wants to wonder...

hold that thought a moment.

there's some awesome meta floating around about how Ed is a genre chameleon, or how his personality changes to fit the people around him. and if you listen, everyone wants to tell him who he is. what it means to be blackbeard. how blackbeard behaves. especially Izzy and CJ. they seem to think they have the difinitive take on who he really is.

and none of these versions have room for nice things as anything beyond something to horde or trade. a prize, but not one u can enjoy. they are constructing overlapping cages of identity for him, when humans are more of a constellation of traits influenced by emotions and circumstances. a galaxy among galaxies, all feedback loops and multidirectional gravities. to stop changing is death.

then there's Stede. "you wear fine things well," said so gently and without scorn or sarcasm. is there another option? when you have told yourself that you're a monster, been told you're brilliant when you're feeling at your worst,,, no wonder it takes his breath away. maybe. just maybe. to be worthy of something fine.

stay with Stede a moment. because he says something late in the series that bears unpacking. "it's a stupid idea. I only have stupid ideas"

who told him that?

was it his dad? badminton? did he decide it himself after the 300th time someone gave him a weird look when they couldn't follow his logic? when did he lock himself away into "i only have stupid ideas"?

because Ed never thought so.

just like Stede never thought Ed should be deprived of fine things.

and Stede has never really had friends to tell him who he is to them. he's had parents, wife, responsibilities. expectations. He has run away from those expectations to try to be the version of himself he wants to be. Stede never figured out how to ask what other people actually want or if their interests can be made to align. Ed may be the first person to visibly and consistently enjoy his company. no wonder he's willing to overlook a little half-attempted murder.

maybe. just maybe. to be worthy of warmth without the weight of impossible expectations.

to find a little understanding. to just pass the time well.

i think ofmd might be a queer myth we've been needing. because it asks what happens when we let the myth blind us to the people in front of us. but even more so what happens when we let their myths blind us to ourselves, our possibilities.

it says:

if you cannot bear the weight of roles assigned by outsiders, there is a place for you. if you cannot live up to ridiculous customs, there is a place for you. if you long for a little comfort, a little adventure, a small section of deck to lay your head when the sea turns rough, there is a place for you. come take a turn at the wheel, at the rigging. there is work to do and all talents are needed. and later i will tell you how a little wooden puppet became a real boy, how a boy became a pirate, how a pirate became a myth, and how a myth was only human after all.

Standing here, it's all so clear

I'm where I'm meant to be

…

All at once, everything is different

Now that I see you

Before season 2 came out, I didn’t see anyone having any problem using they/them for Muriel, but now I’m only seeing she/her 🤨

One time my mom’s friend asked if putting her son in the French horn section would be okay or if that was a “girl’s instrument.” Well, ma’am, it’s pretty evenly split but your son will probably turn out queer

Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking About Them Thinking—

You know you’re in Texas when the restrooms of the banquet hall connect to the rodeo next door

I’m trying to save rewatching UA until I inevitability get quarantined but wtf am I supposed to watch until then /:

Aziraphale is just Winnie the Pooh

Me watching myself add another Hozier song to my aziraphale/crowley playlist