*top Secret Council In The Second Age* Gil-Galad: Why Are You Here? Erestor, Unfathomably Ancient Cryptid

Grandma: oh sasha, why do you dress like that? You look like a dyke!

Me, a dyke: . .

yeah same here

Coruscant guard as bizarre t shirts

again, fanart welcome

501st as bizarre t shirts

tag yourself im little miss fully developed frontal lobe

now this is my kind of politics

seems like the fairest way

Ah yes, the Seven Genocidal Sons of Feanor -

Helen of Troy, Beyoncé, Bear Grylls, Scrooge McDuck, Nikola Tesla and the Grady twins

Whoever mentioned a post about going to war and meeting Maglor is like going to war and meeting Beyoncé, I love you lmao- Now consider, going to war and meeting Maedhros, which is basically like going to war and meeting the world's top super-model✨

Literally nobody asked but i feel the need to explain.

There are 6 named Avari peoples, much like the Noldor, Vanyar and Sindar. The one that lives the furthest north are the Hwenti. Before it's destruction at the end of the first age, the Hwenti have a duty to guard Middle Earth against the things that crawl out of ruined Utumno.

Erestor was not born into the Hwenti people but is absolutely considered one of them once he takes up this duty. He's part of the branch that defends the Western Arctic of First Age Middle Earth... right near the Helcaraxë.

One fine... well the sun hasn't risen yet so it's not a day... anyway, he leaves the camp to keep watch for wargs and catch some fish.

He returns completely baffled with 2,000 starving doomed Noldor and absolutely no idea who they are or what they're doing here, except that they maybe escaped the Far God's Land?? But don't seem to know how to make functional coats or navigate the ice floes??

His unflappable CO, bless her heart and patience, goes "well, they aren't fish, that's for damn sure" and it catches on!

Fingolfin's Noldor are hitherto jokingly referred to as the Fish People - a gag which grows in infamy as the Noldor proceed to set fire to Beleriand - and with the joke goes the story of the poor Hwenti fuck who went out to get fish and came back with the Tyrants of the West. Poor guy. Poor, stupid guy. What a legend.

It becomes a general catch-all phrase for stupid shenanigans and stupid people: like kitchen maid no. 1 goes "hey, did you hear that the Empress' second son is secretly engaged to the rebel leader trying to depose her??? It's scandalous!!" and kitchen maid no. 2 goes "wow! and do you also believe that the Noldor are fish?? because that's absolute bullshit!" - and general 1. says to general 2. "we could attempt that defensive manoeuvre, if we felt like catching Noldor instead of fish and causing a massacre instead of covering our retreat" - tailor unimpressed by assistant acquiring 100 bolts of pomegranate satin when he specifically requested carmine silk; assistant defends herself by saying "well at least it's not 100 Noldor - we can still make this work!" - Silvan soldier at the Last Alliance, with a grand gesture towards the Noldorin Armies, lisps "look at all those fishes!"

Anyways, Legolas meets Erestor and sure it's cool and all that he's Lord Elrond's Chief Councellor but uh. The Silvan are a cultural fusion of Sindar and Penni (another Avari group) so of course he's heard the Noldor are Fish Gag, and of course he knows all about the Hwenti guy who went out for fish and came back with the Doomed Hosts of the Noldor. It's like if you met the 'What The Fuck Richard' guy and he's somehow the Vice President of Switzerland sending you on a top secret mission to destroy Russia's nuke codes?? Like ok sure this is important but consider: I Know What You Are

Elrond: And this is my Chief Councellor, Erestor. He is 8000 years old, and very wise and venerable. I trust him with my life. Legolas, Silvan, knows all the shit that his guy did: Oh, the Fish Guy! Hey! ヾ(＾ ∇ ＾) Erestor, the Fish Guy: ... hello

Can i share something that happened to me last year

I'm minding my own business and this guy who I kind of know but wouldn't really consider myself friends with (trauma bonded on a school trip last year and haven't spoken since) comes up to me like hey, what are you doing? And I say: world-building the ancient history of Lord of the Rings. And then I proceed to tell him all about the various genocides of the first age, with a side note on Maedhros' Quenya name, which literally means 'the hot redhead who's third in line for the throne', with his mother name meaning 'hot damn', his father name meaning 'third of the king's name' and his nickname meaning 'redhead'. Then I explain that loads of elves get nicknames, like Gil-Galad and other people who I can't remember.

And he goes cool, can I have an elvish nickname? And I say sure, what do you want it to mean?

And he goes: big daddy

and I don't know what's more embarrassing: a) he thought that, b) he asked that, or c) I could translate that off the top of my head.

Obi-Wan Kenobi's net worth at the height of the clone wars - 52,365,000 credits. yeah... that's a lot.

general. my good sir. obi wan. why do you smoulder so hard these are mug shots

can you control yourself for like 20 seconds this is serious you are a war criminal

With the braziers long gone cold, the night lies close and heavy, darkness impenetrable. It’s imôr - the deep night. Men call this time the bewitching hour and as Adar gazes on the apparition lying beside him, he can’t help feeling that they might have a point.

The Elvenking’s Herald looks unearthly in Adar’s bed, more like a mirage of grey starlight and hazy shadow than a creature of flesh. It seems there must be some trick of the light at play, one that makes an Uruk out of canvas tent walls and a Maia out of tangled sheets. But despite the guiles of dappled starlight, Elrond’s breath is warm and steady and undeniably real against Adar’s hand as he raises a finger to those sweet lips -

Lips parted and eyes closed in true sleep. Is it his mortal blood that makes him sleep so deeply? Or, like an Elf, has he collapsed into oblivion as his strength runs dry?

What is he - Elf or Man of Maia, all at once or something else entirely? Elrond Peredhel, half Elf, half other, descendent of Lúthien whose shadowy hair and radiant face have ever drawn the eyes of monsters. Kinslayers, Úmaiar… and Adar. Wonderous thing, he thinks. Wonderous, beautiful, hunted thing.

- from the fic I’m writing about Elrond from Adar’s perspective. I promised 5k of fangirling and I intend to deliver. Hang in there!