I’m Sick And I’m Stuck In My House For A Few Days So Ask Me What Tf2 Freaks You Like Because I Wanna

was listening to Pretty Little Birds by Sza and omfg this song & lyrics are SO melvika codes like 😫😫

I need a slow burn meet cute fix of them immediately

Since I see a lot of CBS headcanons, I decided '"Yk what? I'm gonna make myself some piss cakehole/cakehole piss headcanons because they need some love (I mean love I mean the 4 people that like these characters sitting in the back row) THIS IS SUPER LONG BTW BECAUSE THESE 2 BRAIN ROT ME EVERYDAY!!!!

Piss cakehole

•Despite being a absolutely menace to society murder, he’s very anti social. Like very anti going out with other freak friends (if he has any) or parties. Occasionally he’ll go to a friends place but that’s it. Kill. Sleep.Live.

•he actually Shockingly has a job, it’s Dairy Queen. He works night shifts because no one there wants be to around him but he doesn’t as long as someone doesn’t make him upset.

•He has curly hair you can’t fight me on it and he puts it in a curly man bun. (Bonus for salt and pepper hair)

•him and Cakehole are so identical, sometimes when their in good moods switch their outfits and pretend to be each other to pull pranks.

•Him and cakehole are actually the second oldest sniper freaks since being twins (around late 30’s. He’s mad at cakehole because he doesn’t age as much as him)

•He actually does care for cakehole and thinks as him as him as “his little brother” (their twins Ik but cakehole acts younger) but he finds annoying him around and often irritates him too the point he just wants to yank him. Cakehole is very aware and is on house arrest for that.

•he’s a stoner gay. Like hippie Artist gay. I’m talking 70’s belle bottoms and arched back. A feminine posing man. I’m talking cross dressing will wood. “I wanna be the f*cked up girl” From Ride the cyclone type gender. He/they type magic happening. He is gender.

•Hes also got LITTLE FRECKLES and a buck teeth? (Tooth?) like me because he’s my bgg

Source: I said so.

Cakehole piss

•Unlike his counter part, he’s very social and actually really funny around other freaks. He just needs to warm up or not being a murdering mood (he’s also kind of a loud person and has a higher pitched voice)

•He’s 89% percent high most of the time and smells like the strongest weed ever. Other percent is him being clueless.

•He’s on the spectrum. I say that as In like “he’s so me fr” kind of spectrum. He info dumps to demo samedi ALL The time but he doesn’t care. He likes blue things and things that sparkle. Or legos. Legos make him stim like me fr

Source on the spectrum: Me and all the other autistic freak fortress fans. He’s one of us now.

•He sees the undead stoner scouts as his older brothers and Demo Samedi as his father figure. (Idk because he’s a creation to him) and sometimes calls him “Master Samedi” instead of Demo Samedi in a sense of being being his creator.

•(this is actually canon) He doesn’t like water AT ALL. Refuses to go unless he needs to shower. Otherwise it would take him a whole team just to throw him in.

•He has dyed short curly hair and like multiple piercings like his ear and mouth. He also tends to wear baggy clothing and pajamas actually despite his normal uniform.

•Him and Piss are both Latinos/natives 🫶 (mixed parents fight me all you want). Piss‘s parents don’t call him by his “name” and call him instead “pequeña mariposa” (little butterfly in Spanish sorry If it’s not accurate, I can only speak little Lakota and more English ) they very much welcomed Cakehole into the family and treat him like a son

That’s all I have and also I’m making a short story on these 2 about most of these headcanons. If you don’t like these just remember that these are headcanons so don’t be rude about it. Ok stay groovy you guys 🫶💗

starting off strong with some piss cakehole!

my pch is transfem btw, everyone shut up /lh

OH MY GOD?!

I had a dream where I was sitting in a living with Christian brutal sniper and toy story was playing and all he said was “This sucks” and just left the room. Like there was no context as what, why, how, where we got here in that moment.

(Un) popular opinion, I think Christian brutal sniper is overrated is dying and we should swap him with piss cakehole.

we are so fucking back

meet the bayverse

Alien/demon yuri let’s go baby’s

[there flirting dw]

Hey so other update: A storm hit my town and the power and internet is all weird so a halt on the story is gonna take place, I’m working on chapter 2ish right now so I’ll let you guys know when it’s working again!