Me When Two Characters Are So Obviously Gay But Are Somehow Not Canon

DO NOT SUPPORT SALVATION ARMY 

messy sketch on the phone because it was the only thing I could draw on😞 I haven't drawn on my phone for a long time, so you can see a lot of mistakes here BUT I DON'T CARE guys I enjoyed the process.

This is why you don't sleep with the Tyrant King - The consequence is children

Constantine avoids involvement with the Infinite Realms for two reasons.

Who wants to deal with all those Ancients in the first place?

He’s avoiding yet another unhinged ex of his.

Of course, hooking up with Pariah Dark wasn’t really an actual relationship, more like a one night stand via dream walking (Nocturn owed Pariah, but seeing as it would be insane to release the Tyrant King from his endless sleep, he’d give him a dream partner every couple centuries) - regardless, Constantine doesn’t want to deal with that.

So yeah - the fact that the Justice League is attempting to summon the High King into the Watchtower has him wanting to drink more than usual.

Of course he gave warnings, but they’re dead set on doing so. A green folder had appeared in the secure “cursed artifacts” vault with no trace of whoever left it there. How else were they gonna find out how it got there?

So Constantine’s stuck there to set up wards, and is trying to find his way out of this one.

When the summoning circle worked, no one expected the teenager to pop out of it. 

Instead of Pariah Dark, or even the sarcophagus showing up, there was a white haired ghost boy with glowing green eyes the same color as the flames of the Crown of Fire. Except he didn’t look exactly like the others ghosts. He had a human skin tone, his proportions were exactly like a human teenager’s, and he was wearing a black and white hoodie with black sweatpants, for God’s sake. 

… Were ghosts able to reproduce with humans?

Before any of the Justice League can get into questioning, Constantine speaks up:

“You’re not the Ghost King.”

Green eyes settle on him, lighting up with recognition - Danny knows exactly who this is, with the amount of complaints on his desk about the blonde. Clockwork also informed him (he didn’t want to know but now he does) of the man’s stint with Pariah. 

Daniel “Commit to the bit” Fenton chooses to do just that.

“Of course not,” The confusion crosses the face of the heroes present- “That’s just because I haven’t had my coronation yet! I’m the Crown Prince, it’s practically the same thing!”

Oh, and the dread and realization crossing Constantine’s face is almost enough to make his core purr in amusement. 

“Now I will gladly answer all your questions, but first!” His eyes swept over the heroes before raising his hand and pointing accusingly at the British warlock.

“John Constantine,” his voice boomed, the temperature of the meeting room dropping as his face stretched with a smile too big and too pointy, “You owe me fifteen years of child support.”

Tim: So Duke, you officially been at the manor a year, how are you liking it?

Duke: I’m finally settling in. I’m no longer worried Bruce is going to send me away.

Jason: I get that. I thought I was just some charity case. I was terrified that I would mess up and end up back on the streets. I stole a bunch of expensive looking things and kept them in a go bag. I was prepared.

Damien: I too feared being sent away. My grandfather would have been disappointed. I was prepared to fight to the death to prove my place in the family.

Dick: I was sleeping with a knife in my sock in case he sent me back juvie.

Cass: (signing) I feared disappointing him. I felt like I needed to earn my place here.

Steph: He couldn’t get rid of me if he tried. I am like glitter.

Tim: Same. I think he tried to kick me out like 6 times. I just laughed and walked past him.

Duke: Are we just going to ignore Dick’s knife comment?

fun fact: Gotham is, in fact, canonically cursed. Between the literal portal to hell in Arkham's basement, the magical resurrection swamp on the outskirts, the evil warlock sleeping underground for 40,000 years and cursing the land, and the demonic Bat God locked in the city center, it never stood a chance. City's so cursed it even had its own magical X-Files unit for a few years.

after Jason reveals his identity as the Red Hood i like to think about the kids begging for Jason to hang out with them and rejoin the family and that but Jason’s being a little bitch about it so when Dick asks for his phone number he just throws an ouija board at him and says ‘i’ll sense it’

issue is that while slightly drunk and sad that his brother hates him, Dick decided to try it out, and Damian watching him through a crack in the door thought it would be funny to text Jason (because he actually does have his league bro’s number) about it so that Jason could maybe mention it the next time they see each other on patrol to freak Dick out, except Jason was working not too far from the manor at the time and he thought it would be even funnier to swing by, slam up against the window and scream through the glass ‘STOP FUCKING DRUNK TEXTING ME’ and absolutely scares the shit out of Dick. so now Dick thinks that ouija boards actually work on Jason because he’s still part ghost and Jason and Damian are scrambling to try and keep up the ruse because of how funny it is.

I want a Batfam au where everything is the same except Dick is the same person as Robin from the Teen Titans series (2003) but not because of the apprentice arc like many of you might be thinking, (though it wouldn't hurt to throw it in) no I want Dick to have the same "Skills" Read: Superhuman abilities as Robin.

Robin in the Teen Titans was throwing a giant made of cement, shattering his pole with one hit, taking on the rest of the Titans at the same time, when they were holding back and not.

Clark: Are you sure he isn't a meta or alien or something?

Bruce: I check every few weeks.

Oliver: Wait, he's human?

Tim: B! We need backup.

Bruce: No

Steph: Nows not the time for your no outsiders in Gotham rule!

Bruce: Fine I'll contact Nightwing.

Tim: Another non-meta won't cut it!

Bruce: Nightwing is more than enough.

Everyone: ?????

Dick obliterates a massive wall of Ice left by Mr. Freeze

Duke: I thought I was the only one.

Tim: You are.

Jason: You don't sound confident in your answer.

Tim: I'm not

Raven: Why'd I get paired with Nightwing? I don't stand a chance.

Damian: You are the daughter of Trigon.

Raven: And?

Dick, done interrogating someone: Thanks for the Info.

Beast Boy: Back in the day you would have totally sent them to the hospital man!

Jon, unintentionally listening in with his super hearing: huh?????