Bouta Make A Triangle Diagram For The Dwarves And See Who’ll Go Where By Dwarven Standards.

so I'm rereading the lotr trilogy right now (after having just read it for the first time earlier this year) and I find it so interesting that tolkien is SO HEAVILY against allegory, specifically from an author-imposed perspective; instead, he says that the reader is the one with agency in any deeper meaning of the text:

"Other arrangements could be devised according to the tastes or views of those who like allegory or topical reference. But I cordially dislike allegory in all its manifestations, and always have done so since I grew old and wary enough to detect its presence. I much prefer history, true or feigned, with its varied applicability to the thought and experience of readers. I think many confuse 'applicability' with 'allegory'; but the one resides freedom of the reader, and the other in the purposed domination of the author." - The Fellowship of the Ring, Foreward to the Second Edition, p. xxvi.

I'm no English major but I exist in the sphere of literary and information studies (I'm a grad student in archival studies) and this is my favourite literary theory I've heard about in passing from my peers. anyway this is all a justification of my impending rants and interpretive posts upcoming as I go through the books and (lightly) annotate them this time around so uh buckle up for some unhinged analysis and general feral fan behaviour

More family shenanigans...

I get people asking me how I recovered from everything my parents put me through.

And there are a lot of answers but there’s one I haven’t told anyone yet.

It’s the fact that I genuinely gaslit my way through.

Internally I became the most egotistical mother fucker, I would flex in the mirror for ten minutes after spending all day killing myself in the gym, I’d compliment myself all the time, I was like “those guys don’t like me? Who gives a shit? Not me, I’m awesome”

And it worked, still does.

I just stopped caring about the things that upset me, and now I’m a bit better.

lotr but nobody knows anything about the other races

Pippin thinks Legolas is a woman

Boromir is convinced that the hobbits are all 15 max

Everyone thinks that Merry and Pippin are twins, except for Legolas, who is convinced the hobbits are quadruplets

Sam thinks that Aragorn, Boromir and Legolas don't have to eat to survive

Legolas doesn't mention things he sees or hears because he thinks the others have noticed them too and just assumes they have a plan

Pippin complains that he is hungry and Legolas just gives him a handful of grass. Pippin is so confused that he just takes it, and now Legolas tries to figure out what hobbits can eat by just giving them random shit, like

Things the hobbits have accepted and likely eaten later (a list by legolas)

-Grass - Leaves

-Stones - a hair tie

-A feather - one of Gimli's shoes

The hobbits and Gimli just assume that this is what elves eat

YES EXACTLY 😂😂

But I also find the idea funny of the romance perceived in the movies is just Thranduil’s view, he deadass thinks his sons in love with Tauriel then he pops up with Gimli years later lmao

As much as I like the Hobbit movies in their own right, I love the books a lot more.

So when I’m writing Legolas and Tauriel by choice into my fics, I have fun with it.

Cause screw ‘high and mighty awesome Legolas’ that’s not who he is, he’s a childish little twink who falls head over heels in love with a Dwarf.

I also like fixing his and Tauriel relationship. In my stories Legolas follows her around like a little duckling, he follows her lead when they’re outside the palace.

She’s fixing her bow in front of the fire while his heads in her lap, whining about how weird and overbearing his dad is. He’s glancing up at her whenever he’s talking to someone new, waiting for her nod of approval.

They are Exasperated Big Sister and Autistic Homeschooled Little Brother fr and I fw it.

never forget when saruman literally told gandalf "you've been smoking too much weed bro"

Freak yeah. When I get my fanfics out there… 😁😬

reblog if you’re okay with people writing fanfics of your fanfics and/or fanfics inspired by your fanfics

Omg I crack myself up. Please tell me someone else enjoys this as much as I did making it.

When people start following me I panic because I’m just here reposting stuff that I find funky or that I can use for story inspo and I want to get my own creations out too 😫

I am going to make a semi official announcement on my in no way shape or form official Tumblr account.

Only because I need help.

My current fic has been going by the names ‘I Have Your Back’ or ‘I’ll Carry You’ for the five years it’s been in progress, but I’ve never been as happy with the name as my other fic (which I’ll discuss at a later date).

So I’ve come here to ask for advice or suggestions! As well as any ideas for the fic in general that you’d like to see played out.

And I know that context will be needed for the naming ideas, so here is a little sneak peak:

Chapter One: An Unexpected Party

————

‘Damned Dwarves and damned Wizards’ was all that Bilbo could think as his mind reeled from the throwing of his mothers West-Farthing pottery, and the song that he seemed very rude indeed.

And now, with the three hard knocks on his beautiful, freshly painted door, Gandalf the Grey expects him to welcome more?

He followed complacently regardless, mostly to ensure no more damage was going to be done. Though he doubted these bastards would listen if he tried to stop them.

And goodness he’d tried.

As Dwarves crowded behind in each of the doorways, peeking out enthusiastically, Bilbo mentally prepared himself and prayed for the night to soon be over.

He watched Gandalf bend over and open his door with a wide smile… too happy for his liking.

And outside.

Stood three bloody Dwarves.

They stood in a lineup, looking bloody majestic, looking bloody handsome, looking… ARG! What was he thinking!

He was looking at three Dwarves, wearing the same thick cloaks that made them look massive, same fur lining underneath, even same oil black wavy hair and similar beards.

From eyes to stature, from face to clothing.

They were identical.

Each turned their heads and eyes to the old man greeting them, and they all smiled charmingly.

The one on Bilbo’s right lit up and grinned wider then his companions.

The left one smile fondly with tired eyes and head tilted up high.

Then the forefront and centre, turned his lowered head and smirked. Bowing his head slightly in some form of greeting.

“Gandalf,” his voice broke through the silence, before he took a step into the light, his comrades right behind him.

There was no way they weren’t related.

Now that they were in the light, Bilbo could see certain things clearer.

The head of the trio was certainly older, a couple of grey strands shone in the candle light from his mane of hair, accompanied by two thin braids on either side of his perfectly carved face, which bore more then his fair share of stress lines.

Lefty bore a single beard braid at the chin, alongside hair parted into two large braids. Mostly resembling the centre Dwarf in stature, expression and… well, everything except the greying hairs.

Righty was certainly the easiest to tell apart, he remained grinning as he stepped into the light , hair tied up in, what Bilbo could recall to be two bubble braids on either shoulder, there was the faintest of a scar that he could only see for moments turned in the right light that ran across his face and over his nose, accompanied by moustache braids similar to… what’s his name? Kili or Fili? Regardless, there were less signs of stress and age, his youth thoroughly shown in his bright, puppy-like expression.

“You’ll never believe why we were late,” the cheerful one had a chuckle in his voice.

The single beard braided one joined in grinning as the eldest scoffed and rolled his eyes. “We let Thorin lead the way.”

“We got lost only twice, this time.” Thorin swung off his cloak in a fluid motion.

“Good thing Dis has an eye for detail,” bubble braid snorted. “Surely that mark was yours.” He questioned Gandalf.

Mark? That can’t be right.

Before he could speak up at all, he stepped forward only to bump into Dis, then Gandalf, then the still unnamed one and finally into Thorin before two hands on either shoulder clasped him steady. The Wizard and the Bubbly one.

“Bilbo Baggins,” he stood up tall as they both let go of him. He swept his long sleeved arm from him to the trio, all cloakless and lined up once more.

“Allow me to introduce the leader of our Company, Thorin Oakenshield.”

The eldest turned, and dark eyes looked Bilbo up and down… Inspecting him.

“His brother, Crown Prince Frerin”

The cheery one smiled politely. A sparkle in his eyes as he raised his hand in a tiny wave.

“And his sister, Lady Dis of Ered Luin”

“A pleasure,” she replied with a respectful nod.

Gosh he’d heard that Dwarven Ladies bore beards, which is more than most Hobbits could accomplish, but this was quite humorous and astonishing.

Thorin, slowly took two steps forward, making Bilbo’s tongue feel heavy in his mouth as he towered over him. Arms crossed, scoffing as he looked down on him.

“This is the Hobbit?”

And before the Hobbit could retaliate, feeling his blood boil at the ugly ego that somehow outshone his attractiveness.

The leader of this Dwarven mess, was whacked cleanly across the back of his head.

His sister glared at him and Frerin wheezed.

Maybe… there were some Dwarves that Bilbo Baggins could tolerate.

————

Here we go! This scene alone has been rewritten to death but now I am somewhat happy with the result.

Enjoy my friends and I hope to hear your opinions, advice and suggestions! Or just a simple hello 😊