These Streets, They Have A Scent Of Older Times, When Life Meant Something Different To What Now Seems

Clarice Lispector, The Passion According to G.H.

I’m always so afraid to leave behind what once was important to me, even if sometimes it’s necessary so I can grow.

I’m always so afraid to hurt those that made me who I am, even though I’ve done it countless times.

Fear reaches me in all I do. Fear of not being enough, of being left out, of making mistakes.

I live in fear, and there I remain, drowning, waiting for the day I won’t need to feel scared.

I won’t need to feel anything at all.

True story

a pressão é alta e crescente, proporcional e inversa à vontade de continuar esse jogo de farsas comigo mesma. Mas a aceitação é muito mais violenta quando o alvo é si própria, e parece excepcionalmente danoso errar nessas circunstâncias.

Running just to feel the night in our head for a while It’s foolish, I know.

Moonlight - Allman Brown

Those smooth, spit-cleaned cheeks gave no indication of the dreams crowding her skull. Should she make it to adulthood, the girl would arrive with two hundred and six bones. Two and a half million sweat glands. Ninety-six thousand kilometers of blood vessels. Forty-six chromosomes. Seven meters of small intestines. Six hundred and six discrete muscles. One hundred billion cerebral neurons. Two kidneys. A liver. A heart. A hundred trillion cells that died and were replaced, again and again. But no matter how many ways she dismembered and quantified the body lying beside her, she couldn’t say how many years the girl would wait before she married, if at all, or how many children she would have, if any; and between the creation of this body and its end lay the mystery the girl would spend her life solving.

-Anthony Marra

Can't stop thinking about if and when I'd die

For now I see that ‘if' and ‘when' are truly different cries

For ‘if' is purely panic, and ‘when' is solemn sorrow

And one invades today, while the other spies tomorrow.