Still Thinking About Marius And Taylor …. The Innate Hopelessness Of A Relationship That Was Always

au where shadowsight finds scourge's ghost and together they rebuild bloodclan because fuck the clans

reading all of this umbrella academy s4 hate and criticism is so surreal … what happened to this show.. s1 stays one of my fav seasons of a show of all time but it got this bad ??? really?? i watched most of s2 and did NOT vibe so stopped watching long ago. now i just want to know wtf happened

How was class? They applauded. It was inappropriate.

Hannibal 1.02 Amuse-Bouche

my favorite thing in the world to do is assign music to characters. and by assign i mean figure out their fav bands. fav songs, fav albums, fav musicians … their listening habits, their opinions in music. are they a music snob? do they not really care? do they listen more during the day, while working, or while they’re chilling at night? what are their unpopular music opinions? genres/decades they fancy? there’s so much you can do here and so much character depth you can add and uncover.

sometimes i just. lob artists/bands at characters to figure out what they’d think. grow their music taste and opinions yk. i think about the holts from adf quite often, it’s just fun to see the differences between three brothers and even their parents and how music is passed down vs how some go against the grain. dale might love the smashing pumpkins and tyler might hate them. complain about billy corgan’s voice, cross his arms and think about how much he hates this and how much he’d rather hear something like what’s the story morning glory (oasis). but not wonderwall! no, that’s beneath him, he may tolerate it but he doesn’t love it and resents the idea of it being assigned his favorite song just because he likes oasis. he doesn’t understand dale’s interest in weird shit like supertramp but can silently appreciate the rolling stones even if he finds it appalling that their album cover is a guy’s bulge. tyler can appreciate 70s but he just doesn’t…love it. too many long intros, not enough singing - i think tyler does enjoy hearing someone’s voice, so all that rock n roll guitar solo shit doesnt really fly with him. i know he’d just die if he ever heard dale play shine on you crazy diamond, he’d be like wtf is this? no turn it off i want to hear some real music. and dale’s like bro, this IS real music. this is literally pink floyd. and tyler’s all, i don’t give a shit change it. and dale’s like fine whatever. then tyler is like no, i don’t wanna listen to david bowie, just put it on some 90s or even some good 70s stuff, i just don’t wanna hear those weird solos. so funny to me.

and dale! i don’t see dale being into a whole lot of pink floyd - maybe just the popular stuff, esp the wish you were here album. if he dove into it more i think he’d enjoy it (especially the wall) but just hasn’t really given pf a big ole chance yet. just into weird shit, just music made for that certain demographic that people like tyler can’t and maybe never will understand. dale’s experimental and nods off to reggae, bob marley and (by extension) bunny wailer, and alton ellis. watches old docs on woodstock and the doors and jimi hendrix. probs got into stevie ray vaughan through his cover of hendrix’s “little wing,” he can just really appreciate a good fuckin’ guitarist. i think he’s a little all over the place, kinda the guy that listens to everything w other people’s influence, picking up on new songs along the way, kind of a magnet for new music. he loves his mom’s taste in music and they listen to some similar stuff. not sure yet if dale got sharon into reggae or if it’s the other way around. either way i feel like reggae is important to dale, he enjoys uplifting music and doesn’t really fuck with depressing shit, maybe more mellow stuff here and there but nothing like what jay would ever listen to. some of it is just too dark for him. so i do think he has a bit of a line despite picking up so much from others. doesn’t mean he dislikes grunge, he just doesn’t really enjoy songs like black or polly or even jeremy. tyler’s similar, not that he hates grunge or anything but if he even got a glimpse of nirvana’s “rape me” he’d be super turned off.

surprisingly i can see all three listening to pearl jam, kinda something that keeps the whole fam together. jay obviously enjoys the ten album, jeremy and black and once… thinks that whole album is a masterpiece. tyler likes yellow ledbetter and some other stuff off of vs, elderly woman and daughter… and dale i think also likes vs, def yield and maybe even some vitalogy ? better man and faithful, given to fly? yeahhhh. jay’s a full grunge fan, likes that crusty 90s, sonic youth and pixies and nirvana.. maybe a little old country thrown in from his dad. could definitely see jay being a deadhead if he’d ever been able to keep up with a band like that and wasn’t stuck to the confines of two rock. just enjoys jamming to music, electric guitar vibes all around. when it comes to blur vs oasis jay is probably gonna choose blur, much to his brother’s chagrin. not that he’d admit that, he’d probs say something like “i like em both..” just nodding along when tyler’s music snobbery comes up. unlike dale he doesn’t really mind that tyler doesn’t open his mind to different music. meanwhile i bet it annoys dale that tyler won’t even give songs a chance just because of the title. also have mentioned this in the past but jay does like a lot of girl singers, mazzy star and hole and sonic youth,, maybe even the cranberries ? can see “linger” being a guilty pleasure song of his. also he’d def enjoy the smashing pumpkins (which i am listening to rn hence why i’m bringing it up lol) so he and dale have that in common i imagine. shockingly enough i think jay might also weirdly be into like, 60s to mid-70s bob dylan? none of that christian shit he got into later in life but definitely simple twist of fate and like a rolling stone… that whole highway 61 album. maybe is possibly obsessed with that black and white bob dylan aesthetic, firing back at reporters and smoking cigarettes in every vid and being up on stage all by himself, just a guitar and harmonica. black shades and everything… and no i’m NOT just saying this because i’m also obsessed with bob dylan but jay seems the type what can i say.

so, the gist? dale is weird experimental mostly 70s/some 60s shit, tyler is 90s alt rock and jay is moreso 90s grunge and rock and shoegaze. can’t see any of them being much into 80s, maybe jay could get into the cure with some time but as of now i can’t see him being into it yet. bet dale could appreciate those synth solos that were so popular. maybe sharon listens to a bit of 80s… not too sure yet i’d have to see. i mean thats probs the era jay grew up in so? who knows. but yeah, dale is into bob marley and tyler oasis and jay nirvana, their tastes can obviously overlap and it’d be hilarious to see what they’d do with a joint playlist between all three of them and how they’d react to each others songs, may write that someday if the time is right.

why did i write this? because i needed to expel all of these jumbled music thoughts in my head and these three are the easiest to do that with. this may not be canon to anyone else in the adf fandom (btw this is not even my fandom but i’m here hi) but it makes sense in my head and i’m sticking with it. i may go deeper someday if anyone is interested or if inspiration strikes again so, we shall see. but yeah here hands you this essay

THE X-FILES | 1.05

low key the mentalist still makes me lose my mind. patrick jane how i love you

back on the bjm train?? what can i say, I never really left it. anyway, i’m here to list my (current) top 10 brian jonestown massacre songs bc i feel like it. if you feel like listening along, just click the link on the title of each song to check it out! also, these are in no particular order if anyone was wondering.

hide and seek — uh yeah this is my favorite bjm song to ever exist maybe ever. like, i am in love with this song. if this song turned into a person, i would marry them, because i simply will never get over it. every single day i listen to it because, somehow, it fits every emotion i’ve ever had in my entire life. also, it’s shoegaze, so even better. really, though, any version of this song is wonderful and deserves to be listened to on full volume. the chorus makes me want to kick something and start flying and maybe go to another universe because it’s so unreal how good it is. i wish i could describe it in words, but it’s something that cannot be seen and can only be heard. “we play hide and seek…we play peekaboo.” truly the best lines. i cannot stress how much ecstasy i feel from hearing these words spoken in the background of the chorus. amazing. just amazing.

e to g — otherwise known as “rotary eight,” but was originally titled e to g. a literal shoegaze CLASSIC, one of bjm’s best 90s songs. this song simultaneously makes me want to start weeping and screaming at the same time because i love it so much. it makes me emotional, yet also happy. i simply cannot explain it. anton’s voice is so angelic, it makes me tear up just a little thinking abt it. i will never get over this song. it’s the epitome of my soul. it is everything. it simply must be experienced and felt to even begin to understand it.

chameleons — another classic from pol-pot’s pleasure penthouse (my second favorite album). the first time i heard this song i literally cried. i think the post from that night is somewhere on my old tumblr. anyway, this song feels like a warm hug from your best friend, like someone you really care about is comforting the hell out of you. i genuinely can’t describe it, as is becoming the norm for this list, but seriously. it’s difficult to put into words how much this song means to me. i just know this is one of the best tracks on its album. it wouldn’t be a certified shoegaze classic if wasn’t unreleased!

that quiet song — if you couldn’t already tell, i’m on a bit of a shoegaze binge, but what can i say? that’s my favorite genre of bjm music (and what i believe to be their best music). anyway, this song makes me feel…many different things. it’s so nostalgic to me, like i’ve heard it before, but at the same time i don’t know where i ever would’ve listened to it in my childhood. no one else in my family knows bjm. but it’s so familiar! i think that’s why i’m so drawn to the song. also, it makes me really emotional and gives me a feeling of closeness to the band, like i’m at one of their concerts in the early 90s, when they still weren’t super well known. it’s a look into the past that makes me appreciate bjm so much for what they’ve accomplished. it’s just a beautiful song. nothing more needs to be said.

super-sonic — taking a bit of a turn from the shoegaze comes this certified dandy warhol-turned-bjm banger. the intro is so good i’m kicking my feet just listening to it. the drums, the beat, the visualization of this being played in concert. so amazing. i have no words for how much i fucking love this song. it makes me want to get up and dance and scream the lyrics without a care in the world. if you ever see me grooving along to a song with my earphones on, just assume it’s this one.

cabin fever — FUCK, i think this song made me love matt hollywood and everything he’s ever produced in bjm. but like, seriously, this song is so good and the fact that it does sound somewhat uplifting but also has this slightly sad part to the music, giving hint to the fact that the lyrics are about depression and wanting to die!!! sign me up for real. the guitar riff is just SO good throughout this entire song, and the vocals are so amazing and i rlly just like everything here.

got my eye on you — this is a newfound favorite of mine. i heard it from a youtube vid of one of their live shows and literally fell in love! the beat is so jammable and i absolutely LOVE joel’s part during the middle, him just randomly singing/talking is so great. every time i hear this song i wish i was at one of their concerts bc this one must be THE SONG to hear live. so here’s to hoping i hear it next time!

spanish bee — oh my god this song makes me go feral. first off, the beginning being completely done with sounds from anton is so cool! the mic being tilted, crowd cheering, the person talking etc. but then you get to the actual song and oh my goodododifhdbeh it’s SO GOOD. i really enjoy music like this in general, and anton’s voice in this song is probably the best i’ve ever heard it. his singing is so good, just really raw and raspy and genuinely beautiful and yeah idk man it’s so enjoyable. i kind of wish there were more songs where anton could show off his natural voice and singing ability because, clearly he does have that shit. maybe not in the typical music setting, but i really do just love his voice here. also, the guitar makes me want to start like dancing idek it feels like some shit that would play at a family party or something. i just adore it sm. give it a listen!! especially if you like folk music.

not if you were the last dandy on earth — ever since i witnessed that wonderful scene in dig!, i’ve absolutely adored this song. anton clumsily rollerskating up to a dandy warhols show with signed copies of this song is just unbelievably hilarious. iconic, honestly. plus, this song fucking rocks. blasting this driving around is absolutely the vibe, maybe the biggest vibe there’s ever been. i have nothing more to say except that this is one of their songs i listen to every day and there’s a huge reason for that!

food for clouds — this song will always be one of my favorites. i’ve never met a person i couldn’t win over with this song, simply because it’s so jammable. the mixture of the cowbell, tambourine, drums, guitar riff, and trumpet just does something to people. i’ve witnessed it myself. for real though, this song is a complete banger; it’s different from their more rock sounding songs and has more of an alternative kinda feel. but listen to it yourself and judge! and if this doesn’t begin to indoctrinate you into bjm idk what to say </3

and, lastly, an honorable mention:

anemone — of course, i can’t make this list without at least giving an honorable mention to anemone. while not my favorite bjm song of all time, i can acknowledge that it is, objectively, one of their best songs. hearing this at the concert was an amazing experience, seriously! i really do love it though, like, it’s such a classic and i appreciate it so much. actually, it’s the first bjm song i ever heard, and looking back is so surreal. i can’t imagine where i’d be if spotify hadn’t randomly played this song after one of my playlists ended. i still remember exactly where i was when i heard it, around what time of day it was…crazy. i just gotta thank the spotify algorithm for playing this song, because without it, i think my life would be a whole lot more miserable right now.

screaming crying & throwing up again cause i saw some post a while back about how when scully makes teasing jokes w mulder he always stops and processes before reacting cause he’s never had a friendship like that before….. and like let’s be honest aside from the lone gunmen he doesn’t rly have friends. scully on the other hand, at the beginning of the show, is seen to have friends and socializes but mulder is v much a loner . so scully is probably one of the first friends he’s made in a long while, treats him with a mix of kindness and mirth that he is unused to . and then thinking about the amount of times throughout the show where they refer to each other as their “friend” rather than partner or anything else… like even when they’ve gotten far beyond the point where both their romantic feelings towards each other are obvious, they still sometimes choose the word friend over everything else. even in the iconic touchstone constant scene: “you were my friend and you told me the truth” ……….. like i am going to start crying she is his FRIEND!!!!! he has been so alone for so long and then she comes around and she is a partner and a teammate and sometimes something else but above all that, most importantly, she’s his friend . :’)

thrice-moonborn sunny :)