Can’t Do That Or I’ll Need To Find A New Place To Live ._.

people always talk about how germans have hundreds of words for apple core or cum but no one ever mentions our countless synonyms for awkward

tag yourself i’m dabbsch

gale???

I recently (two days ago lol) started to FINALLY play BG3 and omg. I get the Gale thing now.

Before, when I spoilered myself endlessly online, I didn’t really understand why people like this magic blabbering nerd that much but I get it now.

Started understanding it from the moment I pulled him out of the portal I think..

That makes everything more complicated now bc I don‘t know who to romance lmao

why are dudes in fanfic always getting hit with freight train orgasms. why not an orient express orgasm, classy and romantic. where are the shinkansen train orgasms? his orgasm hit him like the TGV atlantique breaking the passenger rail speed record. like the shanghai maglev, his orgasm was a feat of engineering but something of a commercial disappointment.

i ❤️ pathetic men.

bg3 romance woes

just got the scene with talking to Gale under the night sky in act 2 (beautiful scenery btw) and GOD. HOW in the HELLS am I supposed to romance anyone BUT him now??!

On the other hand, I want to romance Astarion and as much as I CAN NOT for the life of me find it easy to reject Gale, hurting Astarion in any way, shape or form would immediately reduce me to a pathetic puddle of tears.

WHY can I not romance both of them UGGHHH this is torture.

not to mention the fact that I have the hots for like EVERY romancable AND unromancable npc in this GODDAMN game.

like Lae’zel (she’s so endearing for some reason what the hell??), KARLACH oh my GOD (Shadowheart knows what’s up, I NEED her to carry me and OMG she calls herself Mama K I CAN’T), Wyll ugggghh (he’s underrated and I WON’T stand for it) Shadowheart (fuck, god’s favorite emo princess I love her so muchhhh). That motherfucker HALSIN (what a HUNK of an elf they had NO RIGHT making him so glorious) even Minthara who I finally got in Act 2 now.

and when it comes to the UNROMANCABLE people. Don't even get me STARTED. Raphael you god damn majestic asshole. Haarlep (I’d feed him, that’s all I’ll say about the matter), Alfira (the REAL reason why I’ll never do a Durge playthrough, I CAN NOT ever lay a finger on her). Larkrissa (I love her and Alfira plus them TOGETHER so fucking much), ROLAN (stupid prickly wizard), Dammon (he’s just SO everything, don’t make me explain, I’ll go on and on for hours)

this game is a bisexual NIGHTMARE and on one hand I LIVE for it, on the other, I’d like to sue

reblog if you’re transgender, genderqueer, or if you think you could survive being hit with a 14” shell fired from a Pennsylvania-class battleship

I swear he didn’t do it!!

or maybe he did, but look at himmm

he just needs a blankie and some hot cocoa :3

but your honor his big wet princess puppy dog eyes cancels out all the horrors he’s committed

n paar Gedanken zur neuen Spatort Folge

Dieser hetero Jumpscare am Anfang war auch echt unwaranted man.. ich mein ich find‘s super wenn wir mehr Freundschaft zwischen verschiedenen Geschlechtern sehen aber die Szenen sahen schon verdächtig nach Romance aus…

Ich saß echt die ganze Zeit nur da und dachte mir so ‘bitte nicht, bitte nicht’

Ich meine wirklich, ihr könnt doch nicht das allseits geliebte ship einfach mit Heterosexualität zerbomben so wie ihr das dann später mit Leo gemacht habt 😔

Bin echt froh, dass es dann doch so bei Freundschaft geblieben ist.

Aber mal ehrlich, ich dachte am Ende erstmal, dass die Bombe einfach nicht gezündet hat oder so.. hab dann erst an den Reaktionen erkannt, dass die immer noch in Gefahr sind

Oh und kleine Side Note: die böse Mom war hot, Punkt.

saying ‘bad morning’ as a greeting each day bc I haven’t been able to do this yet :(