Enough To Go By (Chapter 8) - A Shigaraki X F!Reader Fic

Love Like Ghosts (Chapter 12) -- a Shigaraki x f!Reader fic

You knew the empty house in a quiet neighborhood was too good to be true, but you were so desperate to get out of your tiny apartment that you didn't care, and now you find yourself sharing space with something inhuman and immensely powerful. As you struggle to coexist with a ghost whose intentions you're unsure of, you find yourself drawn unwillingly into the upside world of spirits and conjurers, and becoming part of a neighborhood whose existence depends on your house staying exactly as it is, forever. But ghosts can change, just like people can. And as your feelings and your ghost's become more complex and intertwined, everything else begins to crumble. (cross-posted to Ao3)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Any workday when you don’t go to work and aren’t sick feels strange, but you only got three words into explaining why you wanted the day off before Mr. Yagi excused you. Now you’re running around to every nursery and garden shop in the city, asking which of their plants are invasive, and buying all of them, leaving a trail of environmentalists who hate you in your wake. You’re going to have to go out of town if you ever want to buy plants again, but you’ve got plenty of plants. Enough plants to power up Dabi, Nemuri, and Tomura to a truly ridiculous degree.

“I don’t know if this is a good idea,” Keigo says when he sees you coming with the fifth oversized butterfly bush of the day. “He can’t control his consumption rate the way he used to.”

“Who cares? It’s not like I need to materialize.” Dabi is eyeing the new plant in a way that creeps you out. Four pots with charred-to-death trees are already sitting in Keigo’s front yard. “When my conjurer gets here, I’m going to burn him from the inside out.”

“Not a chance,” Nemuri says from across the street. She’s hanging out on your front porch, barely materialized. “He’s tortured two of my friends. I get to suffocate him.”

“Fuck you both. This is my neighborhood.” Tomura’s not materialized at all, but his voice echoes up and down the street. “He’s mine to kill.”

This has been going on all day. “You’re all pretty,” Keigo says, exasperated, which cracks you up. Your laughter sounds ever so slightly hysterical. “Whoever gets him first can do the honors.”

Keigo hasn’t heard the same legend Spinner has, then – that, or the idea of Dabi getting sucked back into the world between doesn’t bother him very much. As far as potential conjurer assassins go, you think Nemuri’s most likely to do the deed. She’s stronger than Dabi is, and unlike Tomura, she’s free to move around the neighborhood. Likely as not, she’ll deal with the conjurer, and the rest of you won’t have anything to do at all.

At least, that’s what you’re hoping. You believe everyone when they talk about how strong Tomura is. You doubt there are many ghosts who could go up against him and win. But you remember what Mr. Yagi said about conjurers drawing power from the world between through multiple conduits, and you remember what Aizawa said about who usually wins in clashes between ghosts and conjurers of equal or greater power. Tomura could face one ghost. Maybe even ten. But twenty, or fifty, or a hundred? You don’t see how it could work, and you don’t know how many ghosts Garaki has left to draw from.

As terrible as it feels to admit, you’re okay with sacrificing Nemuri. When it comes down to it, you’d sacrifice Dabi, too, although you wouldn’t like upsetting Keigo. It’s Tomura you don’t want to lose. He’s got a lot of strength, but he’s never used it. With that in mind, you find yourself going to Hizashi for help for the second time in the last twenty-four hours.

You find him ransacking your garden shed for makeshift weapons. He doesn’t notice you, and you take the opportunity to scare him for once, something you regret doing the instant you hear the earsplitting shriek he lets out. Inside the house, Phantom howls. “What do you want, human?” Hizashi snaps, red in the face. “Don’t you have more plants to buy?”

“Not right now,” you say. Nemuri told you to stop bringing them. She and Dabi are maxed out, and if you power Tomura up anymore he might blow up the house. “I know you’ve killed a conjurer before. Have you killed a ghost?”

Hizashi raises an eyebrow. “That’s a personal question.”

“Get over it,” you say, ignoring the affronted sound he makes. “Have you killed a ghost?”

Hizashi glances left, then right, like he’s checking for eavesdroppers. Then he nods. “Good,” you say. “I need you to teach Tomura how.”

“I know how,” Tomura says, indignant. You should have known he’d be listening. “They die the same way anything else does.”

“No, they don’t,” Hizashi says, pointedly avoiding your eyes. “If you try draining another ghost, it won’t work. You’ll just keep sucking up power from the world between, and once you exceed your capacity, you’ll blow apart. It’s a stupid way to die, which would be in-character for you.”

For once, Tomura doesn’t rise to the bait. “So I’ll send power to them. That way they’ll blow up instead of me.”

Hizashi looks surprised, but he shouldn’t be. Tomura catches on fast when he wants to. “Right, but it’s a weird feeling. It’s the opposite of what comes naturally to us. It’s not something you want to try for the first time in the middle of a fight.”

“Then I need somebody to practice on,” Tomura decides. He raises his voice. “Hey, idiot –”

“No,” Hizashi says as Dabi shouts back from across the street, calling Tomura something unrepeatable. “Dabi and Nem are both maxed out. You can’t use them.”

“What about Shirakumo?” you suggest. “If we could get rid of the ghost –”

“That ghost is my friend, and separating them like that could kill them both,” Hizashi snaps. He turns away from you and begins to pace back and forth in front of the shed. “If you really want to practice, you gloomy brat – not that you’ll need it, Nem will handle most of this before Garaki clears the top of the street – there’s only one way to do it. And you’re not going to like it.”

Tomura’s influence deepens, so dark and threatening that even you can feel it. “That’s not an option.”

“That’s your only option. You can’t practice on a live ghost, and there’s only one person on the planet you care enough about hurting to make this even slightly safe,” Hizashi says, and it clicks into place for you. “Ghostly energy doesn’t affect them the same as it affects us, and you need to get used to the sensation of discharging power.”

“I’ve done it before. When I fucked up the fence.”

“By accident. You need to do it on purpose.” Hizashi lowers his voice, and you can tell he’s trying to sound reassuring. “You don’t need to use a lot, and even if you overdo it by accident, it won’t hurt her. She’ll glow in the dark until it burns off, but that’s it.”

“No.”

“Yes,” you say. You’re not sure how much you trust Hizashi, but you’re damn sure that Tomura needs to know how to fight properly. “It’s fine. Let’s do it.”

“No!” Tomura’s voice is sharp and angry. “Don’t be stupid. I’ll use his human.”

“You don’t give a shit about my human,” Hizashi snaps. “I don’t trust you with him. To be honest, I don’t trust you with her. I don’t even trust you with that dog. But you need to learn, and if she’s okay with it –”

He breaks off midsentence. For a second you wonder if Tomura’s silenced him somehow, but then you see the way Hizashi’s making eye contact with empty space and realize that he and Tomura are talking. It takes you a second to grasp the implications, and once you do, unease uncoils in the pit of your stomach. Tomura changed the mode of communication. Whatever he and Hizashi are talking about, it’s not something he wants you to hear.

The silent part of the conversation ends when Hizashi shakes his head. “Tough shit,” he says out loud. “If you want to win against whatever’s coming here tonight, this is how it has to be.”

Tomura materializes slower than you’ve ever seen him do it. “Good,” Hizashi says. He looks to you. “Hold your hand out.”

You extend your hand and Tomura takes it. His hand is cold, like always, but it’s shaky in a way that makes you worried. “It’s okay,” you say.

Tomura won’t look at you. “Shut up.”

“It’s time,” Hizashi says. “Take the smallest amount of power you can and deliberately push it out. It’s going to feel unnatural to you, but remember, it’s not going to hurt her.”

Tomura’s eyes are closed, concentrating. You see Hizashi waving his hand in your peripheral vision, and you glance at him in time to see him mouth two words, then raise a finger to his lips. He’s sorry. He’s saying he’s sorry, and shushing you – and then a rush of cold sweeps over you, obliterating every thought and feeling in its path except one. Pain.

Hizashi lied. You know why he lied. You’ve got no idea how he successfully lied to Tomura, or if he lied at all and Tomura decided that learning to fight was worth hurting you. You decided it was, didn’t you? That’s why you volunteered. That’s why you feel like razor-sharp shards of ice are piercing through every last nerve in your body.

But that’s not the only thing you feel. Your own feelings might be gone, but in their place there’s something else – a vast, yawning emptiness, unfathomably deep and dark. Other emotions waver at its edge, confusion and hurt and fear, and slowly but surely they’re being dragged down into the black hole at the center of it all. Loneliness, or hopelessness. In Tomura’s world, they’re one and the same. That’s what this is, what these are. This is Tomura’s power. This is how he feels.

The cold dissipates suddenly, and you hear Hizashi’s voice addressing Tomura. “I’m guessing that’s all the control you’re capable of exerting. How did that feel?”

Tomura’s voice sounds strange. “You’re sure it doesn’t hurt her?”

“Definitely,” Hizashi says. You blink hard, trying to clear your vision. “Ask her. Go ahead.”

Hizashi’s at least a little bit of a sadist. “I’m fine,” you say before Tomura can ask. “Just a little cold.”

“Let’s go again,” Hizashi says, and you revise your assessment from “a little bit of a sadist” to “fully sadistic”. “One time’s a fluke. Let’s see if you can replicate it.”

It’s worse this time, because you know what’s coming. The pain is bad enough, but you’re afraid of seeing what you saw before – that glimpse into Tomura’s feelings rattled your mind more than you want to admit. You keep your eyes open this time, and instead of feeling, you see. You’re not seeing your world through Tomura’s eyes. You’re seeing through Tomura’s eyes, back into the world he came from. The world between.

You can’t grasp it, not all the way. Trying feels like it’s twisting your mind apart. There’s no light, no direction, no up or down or left or right; no landmarks to work from, no wind to push in one direction or the other – but you can feel at the same time that there are features, structures, humming cities that you can perceive but not see. The world between is empty and boiling with life at once, a different kind of life than you can grasp, a different kind than you can understand. If you wanted to understand it. You don’t. All you want is for it to stop.

“Ease off,” you hear Hizashi say, and the world between disappears from your sight. Tomura’s all that’s in your field of vision now. “Was it easier this time?”

Tomura nods, but he’s looking at you. “We can stop now. I know how to do it.”

“One more time,” Hizashi says. He’s getting off on this. He has to be. “Prove to me that you’ve got it.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” Tomura’s grip on your hand tightens, and it happens again.

You shut your eyes this time. As much as you don’t want to see into Tomura’s head, you’d rather look at anything but the world between. This time, when you’re pulled to the edge of the void, you see that it’s not quite as empty as you first thought. There’s a light flickering somewhere down in the darkness. No, two lights. Two tiny lights, small enough to mean almost nothing. But when the other feelings fall into the void, it’s the lights that swallow them. And the lights grow brighter with every scrap of confusion or fear they consume.

You focus on the lights with all your strength, clenching your jaw against the agonized howl that wants to escape. It’s not much protection from the cold and pain, but it’s enough. Enough that when it fades and you open your eyes again, you can tell Tomura that it doesn’t hurt and make him believe you.

Hizashi, pleased with Tomura’s success, heads across the street to teach Dabi the same lesson. He brings you with him. Ostensibly your job is to convince Keigo to let Dabi practice on him, just like Tomura practiced on you, but you’re pretty sure Hizashi has an ulterior motive, and once you’re over Keigo’s property line, he proves you right. “Personally. I don’t give a damn whether Dabi learns this or not. You can’t go back over there until I’m sure you won’t give the game away.”

“So he didn’t know,” you say. “You lied to him.”

“So did you,” Hizashi points out. “I’m glad someone around here can see the big picture.”

You see the big picture, all right. Hizashi pretends his big picture is protecting the neighborhood, but in reality, he’s just like Tomura – except there are three people he really cares about instead of just one. He’ll do what he has to do to keep them safe, and keep himself safe in the bargain. Keigo may not have heard the story about what happens if a ghost kills their own conjurer, but Aizawa and Hizashi have, and Hizashi wants to make sure the duty of killing Garaki falls to anybody but him. If convincing Tomura to torture you and convincing you to keep quiet about it is what it takes for that to happen, Hizashi will do it.

You don’t realize you’re glaring until Hizashi comments on it. “Don’t look at me like that. You could have said no.”

“And then what? Let you push him into a fight he doesn’t know how to win?” You shake your head. A flash of the world between spins through your vision and you almost throw up. “If I tell him what you did, you’re dead. You know that, right?”

Hizashi doesn’t respond to your threat. “How about I tell you what he and I talked about, hmm? We’ll call it even there.”

You really want to know. Besides, there’s no reason you can’t break your promise to Hizashi later. “Tell me.”

“He’s more aware than you give him credit for,” Hizashi says instead. “Not that much more aware, granted, but enough. Enough to tell that the way you feel about him is a lot different than the way he feels about you.”

Your stomach clenches. “That’s not what I asked.”

“He wanted to know if discharging power into you would let you know what we’ve all known for months,” Hizashi says. “I told him of course not. Human minds can’t comprehend us, we’re too complex, all that jazz. I told him not to worry, because there’s absolutely no way that the human girl could possibly find out how much he feels about her.”

Hizashi scoffs. “He knew I was lying, of course. I asked him why he was so spooked – clearly you’re not opposed to it, or you wouldn’t spend so much time having obnoxiously horny ghost sex with him – and he gets quiet all of a sudden. He’s not very bright, your ghost, but that doesn’t mean he’s stupid. You see him as a – what do humans call it? A friend with benefits. He sees you as the only thing in his entire existence that’s ever made him happy. And he thinks that if you find that out, you’ll leave.”

For a moment, your hatred for Hizashi feels strong enough to wipe him off the map. You swallow it with an effort. “So naturally, the first thing you do is tell me the exact thing he didn’t want me to find out.”

“If he embodies himself permanently, we’re fucked,” Hizashi says flatly. “That won’t happen if you leave.”

“You’re fucked? Your conjurer’s dead after tonight. That just leaves his. We don’t even know if his is coming back.”

“You’re not that naïve. You’ve read the same research as I have,” Hizashi says. “His conjurer’s coming back one of these days. He might be planning to punish Tomura, but he’ll take the rest of us down, too. If we don’t have a ghost to stop him.”

“You think Tomura will keep protecting the neighborhood if I’m gone?”

“We don’t need him to actively protect the neighborhood. He does it just by being here and being a ghost,” Hizashi says. “How he feels about it is irrelevant.”

You fight to keep your temper in check, trying to match Hizashi’s cold calculations with your own. You replay all your interactions with Hizashi, all the times he’s scared you on purpose, all the times he’s deliberately made you uncomfortable, all the times he’s tried to provoke Tomura into acting like the kind of ghost he’s supposed to be. “You’ve wanted me gone since I moved in,” you say. “This is why, isn’t it?”

Hizashi does you the minor courtesy of not lying to you. “When you lasted longer than three weeks in that house, I saw the writing on the wall. Shou said I was being ridiculous, but I know ghosts like yours. I was a ghost like yours. All the power in the world doesn’t matter if there’s nothing you want enough to use it. And once you do, it’s over.”

He looks at you without a hint of remorse in his face. “My family is on the line here, and I’ll do anything to keep them safe. You wouldn’t understand what that means.”

Your stomach lurches. “Shut up.”

“I did some research of my own. Your backstory’s not tragic, it’s just pathetic. Mommy and Daddy didn’t love you enough, and nobody else liked you all that much, so you move in here and act like you belong.” Hizashi laughs, cold and cruel, and you feel your eyes well up. “If you think anyone here will miss you, you’re wrong. We were all happier when that house was empty.”

Some part of you knows Hizashi is lying. Most of you knows it, because if you were in his spot, you’d probably do the same thing – pinpoint the problem and do whatever you had to in order to get rid of it. Most of you knows that somewhere underneath this cruelty, Hizashi’s scared shitless. His conjurer’s gunning for him, he’s lost most of his powers, and his family’s in the line of fire. Knowing all that doesn’t change how it feels to hear him target every last one of your deepest insecurities, every agonizing thought you’ve ever tried to push aside. You’re one wrong move away from bursting into tears on Keigo’s front lawn.

You hold it together. It takes everything you have, but you do. “Did it feel good to get that off your chest?”

“It’s not personal,” Hizashi says, which puts the final nail in the question of whether ghosts are capable of lying. “I’d say good luck out there, but you survived here long enough. You won’t need it.”

Someone calls out to you from across the street, and you look over to find Aizawa on your porch. “We need some plants kept in reserve, in case the ghosts burn through more power than expected. Are there any nurseries you haven’t checked?”

“A few,” you say. Aizawa’s eyesight isn’t great. There’s no way he’ll be able to see the look on your face. “I’ll go right now.”

“We’ll Venmo you,” Hizashi says, patting your shoulder. If you thought you could get away with it, you’d break his hand. “I’ve been doing lots of gardening these days. I know plants aren’t cheap.”

“Thanks.” You force the words out around a smile, hop Keigo’s property line, and head for your car at high speed.

You make it out of the neighborhood. Quite a ways out of the neighborhood. You make it at least halfway to the next nursery on your list before you start crying too hard to drive. You pull over, put your hazard lights on, and double over with your head against the steering wheel. Your head hurts and you’re freezing cold and your stomach turns every time you think about what you saw in Tomura’s head – and worse every time Hizashi’s words sink into your chest. You’ve never felt this sick in your life. You want to die.

Your phone is ringing. You don’t care who it is, but whoever it is keeps calling, and when you pick it up to silence it, you see that it’s Aizawa. You text him, trying not to sound like you’re a) crying yourself to death and b) plotting the murder of his husband. I’m busy.

Tomura wants to talk to you. The phone rings again. This time you pick up. “Hi.”

“What did he do?” Tomura’s voice is full of cold rage, and your heart sinks. “I saw your face and I felt what he’s feeling, so I want to know what he did. That way he’ll know why I’m killing his human when I do it.”

“No,” you say. Your voice sounds awful – not calm and collected like you want to be, but sick and miserable and lonely. Like you got your feelings hurt exactly as much as Tomura thinks you did, which isn’t great when you’re trying to convince Tomura that it’s fine. “Tomura, don’t. Please. It’s not worth it.”

“He wants you to leave me. He made you leave.” Tomura sounds like he’s pacing. You try to pinpoint where he is in the house, but can’t. “I can take away his human, too.”

“Please don’t,” you say again. You just wanted to cry yourself out in peace. Why couldn’t you just do that? You grit your teeth and make a threat you never wanted to make again. “If you hurt Aizawa or the children to punish Hizashi, I am never coming back to that house.”

“He made you leave –”

“He can’t make me do anything.” Your voice wavers when you think about what Hizashi said, but you repeat yourself anyway. “If you hurt Aizawa or the children, I’m never coming home.”

It’s quiet for a moment. “Why do you care so much about them?” Tomura asks. It occurs to you that Tomura’s got Aizawa’s phone, that Aizawa’s probably sitting there listening to you try to talk Tomura out of killing him. “Why don’t you want to pay him back?”

“Because it’s not their fault,” you say. You’re pretty sure Aizawa wasn’t in on Hizashi’s little torture session, and you know for sure the kids weren’t. “They’re good people, Tomura. They’ve been kind to me, and even if they weren’t, they don’t deserve to die because Hizashi mouthed off.”

“He made you cry,” Tomura says. It’s quiet for a second. “I didn’t know you did that.”

You always cry in the shower when you cry at home. You’ve been doing that since you were little, and the memory of Hizashi’s taunt – Mommy and Daddy didn’t love you enough – blasts apart what little composure you’ve gained. You press your hand against your mouth, trying to stifle your tears. Tomura snarls, and you force yourself to speak. “Please don’t do what you’re thinking of doing. It won’t fix anything. It will make me feel worse if you do.”

“Fine.” Tomura’s voice is still icy. You wish you could drive home, drag him into the passenger seat, and drive around until he’s calmed down. You’re scared of what will happen when you hang up, and worse when you hear his voice, speaking to Aizawa. “You’re only alive because that’s what my human wants.”

“Understood.” Aizawa’s voice is steady, and when he speaks again, it’s clear that the phone’s back in his possession. “Go get the plants and come back. Everything here is fine.”

“Um –” You cough into your elbow, make some kind of godawful snuffling sound into your sleeve. “I’m sorry. About Tomura. That’s not okay. He shouldn’t –”

“You have as much control over Tomura’s behavior as I do over Hizashi’s.” Aizawa’s voice takes on a dangerous note, and for a split second you actually feel bad for Hizashi. “Get the plants and come back, quickly. The children’s bus is here, and it’ll be dark soon.”

You cough a few more times. “Right. I’ll hurry,” you say. Something occurs to you. “If he starts acting scary, get out of there. I’ll deal with it when I get back.”

“I’m past the property line. My husband and I need to have a conversation.”

Whatever conversation the two of them are about to have, you don’t want to be anywhere near it. You hang up the phone, blink a few times to clear your vision, and switch your hazard lights off before pulling back onto the road.

You do your best to calm down before you get to the nursery, but you know you look like you’ve been crying your eyes out anyway. There’s nothing you can do about that right now. You browse through the nursery, searching for plants you know are invasive, choosing the largest and healthiest ones, trying to focus on the task at hand. But Hizashi’s words hit home, as much as you didn’t want them to. Even thinking about hitting him with a shovel doesn’t make you feel much better, and the longer you dwell on it, the worse it gets, until you’re sniffling and wiping your eyes again in the middle of the tropical plants aisle.

“Are you all right?”

It’s a man’s voice. You’ve always been a little wary of men who approach crying women in public. “I’m fine,” you say blindly. “Um. Everything’s fine. I just –”

“Here.” The man, whoever he is, pushes a handkerchief into your field of vision, and you seize it, just to avoid wiping your eyes and nose on your sleeve. “You can keep that. I have plenty.”

“Thank you,” you say, and mean it. And then you feel like you’ve got to explain yourself. “I really am fine. I just didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”

“That makes everything more difficult,” the man agrees. You peer up at him and discover that he’s around the same age as Mr. Yagi. The same height, too. “I doubt that’s all it is, though. Whoever made you so upset ought to feel ashamed of himself.”

You have a few problems with that statement, mainly with the assumption that you’re upset over a man, even if it’s true. But this man is being kind to you. You’re not immune to kindness. “That’s quite a lot of plants you’ve got there,” the man continues. “Are you a gardener?”

“I’ve got a garden. I don’t know if I can call myself a gardener,” you say. “What about you?”

“Oh, it’s been many years since I was settled enough to have a garden,” the man says, and laughs. “But I’ve planted many trees. It’s always interesting to check back and see what they’ve grown into. Some of them are magnificent. Others need a little – assistance.”

“I’ll remember that if I ever get into planting trees.” You wipe your eyes again, then glance down at the mess you’ve made of the handkerchief. “I really am sorry about this.”

“It’s no trouble. And it’s yours. If we should ever cross paths again, you can return it to me then.” The man inclines his head, then starts off down the aisle, heading for the saplings at the far end. You add one more plant to your wagon and make your way to the cash register.

You feel better after meeting the man. If a stranger thinks you’re worth being kind to, then it’s easier to believe in the kindness of your neighbors, who actually know you. By the time you reach the neighborhood again, the puffiness around your eyes has mostly gone down, and you feel ready to confront Hizashi. You’re not sure what you want to say when you confront him. “Fuck off” feels appropriate, but some part of you also wants to remind him that Tomura’s more than able and more than willing to return whatever insult Hizashi levels at you towards his own family.  But that’s shitty. You know it’s shitty. You’ll be better off telling Hizashi the truth: This is your neighborhood, too. And you’re not leaving.

When you get back, though, you realize there’s no need to confront Hizashi at all. Aizawa’s already doing it, or something similar. They’re both on Keigo’s lawn, standing a few feet apart, voices too quiet to hear from your side of the street. Hizashi looks mulish, defensive, sulky – just like Tomura looks sometimes, when he’s accepted that you get to be mad about something but still thinks it’s stupid. If Aizawa looked at you with the same expression he’s aiming at Hizashi, you’d run for your life.

“Hey,” someone hisses as you get out of your car. You look up and find Shinsou staring at you from the other side. He looks alarmed. “What the hell happened? My dads are fighting. I’ve never seen them fight. Dabi’s been texting me updates and he says they’re fighting about you!”

Dabi’s an asshole, and also a liar. You have a feeling that Aizawa’s upset less because of what Hizashi said and more because of Tomura’s reaction to it. But Aizawa’s clearly not worried enough about Tomura’s reaction to keep his kids away from the shelter provided by the house. Shinsou came down to talk to you from the porch. Eri’s still up there, on the swing, and she’s playing a game with somebody. At first you think it’s Nemuri. Then you see Nemuri up the street, talking to Magne, and you realize that Eri’s playing a game with Tomura.

You need to check on that. You need to check on that immediately. You skid around Shinsou and book it up the steps, only to find Eri sitting in the swing and Tomura sitting on the ground, a collection of facedown cards spread out between them. You recognize the cards. In fact, you’re pretty sure this game came from inside your house. It was one of the few things you managed to rescue when your parents downsized while you were in college. “Uh, is that the Rainbow Fish matching game?”

“It’s so pretty,” Eri says, smiling up at you. “Toshi won’t play with me but Tomura said he would.”

Tomura looks sort of like he’s regretting it. “How come it’s still your turn?”

“If you make a match, you get to try again. And you keep trying until you don’t get one.” You study Eri’s pileup of cards. She’s really good at this. “So it’ll be your turn when Eri misses one.”

In talking to you, Eri lost focus. She misses her next match, and Tomura promptly racks up eight matches in a row. You cringe, wishing he’d let Eri win like adults are supposed to do with kids, but Eri’s more pleased with the result than he is. “I knew you’d be good at this,” she crows. “You got the shells and the rainbow fish –”

“That’s not hard. There are ten of them.” Tomura looks sort of pleased with himself, and you wonder at how quickly he’s calmed down. Maybe it wasn’t actually that quick – you were gone for about an hour – but his control over his temper is shaky at best. You’d have expected to find the entire house vibrating with fury, not to find him sitting quietly and playing a kid’s game with the youngest ghost in the neighborhood, who also happens to be the daughter of the ghost who pissed him off in the first place.

He looks up at you. “Are you going to watch?”

“I have to move the plants.”

“I’ll move the plants. Me and Keigo,” Shinsou says hastily. Keigo pops up next to him, looking like he’s been through a war. You don’t even want to know what it’s like inside Keigo’s house right now. “You stay here.”

Shinsou clearly doesn’t trust Tomura’s unusual calmness any more than you do. You nod in thanks and settle down next to Tomura on the porch, only to hop up again to retrieve Phantom when she whines from inside the house. You hold her in your lap so she won’t run through the cards and scatter them, scratching her ears and watching the game. Eri and Tomura are playing with equal amounts of seriousness, which looks unbelievably funny. The two of them look enough alike with their grey-tinted hair and red eyes that they could almost be siblings. Eri’s pleased whenever Tomura gets a match, and after a few rounds of being congratulated every time he finds two of the same card, Tomura congratulates her on a match in response. It’s not much of a congratulations, but Eri beams at him like he’s just handed her a gold star.

Eri wins by one match, and although you’re worried he won’t, Tomura offers her a grudging congratulations. “Nice game.”

“Do you want to play again?” Eri asks eagerly. “I bet you’ll beat me this time.”

“I’ll play with you, Eri,” Himiko calls from outside the fence. “If Tomura lets me in.”

You think Tomura will say no, but it turns out that Tomura’s so desperate to get away from the Rainbow Fish matching game that he’ll say yes to just about anything. “That game is stupid,” he mutters once you’re both inside and out of earshot. “You actually liked that?”

“When I was a kid.” You were good at memory games, and you liked how pretty the cards were. But you’ve got a bigger problem than what Tomura thinks of a card game you played as a kid. “Why are you so calm? On the phone –”

“I don’t mess with other people’s humans. I’m not like him.” Tomura’s voice takes on that icy note again. He’s glaring out the front window. You wonder if he can hear what they’re arguing about. “You said it would make you feel worse if I hurt them. And last night you said you were scared the first time because you didn’t know what I’d do when I got angry. Me getting angry makes you feel worse. So I stopped.”

“Just like that?”

“It wasn’t easy,” Tomura says, insulted. “The kid said she knows how it feels to want to hurt people who make her human sad, so I asked her what she does to not kill everyone who makes her human sad. She said she has to do something else. So we played that stupid game.”

You’ve been searching for the right word to describe the scene you just watched unfold. “It was cute.”

“I thought I was pretty.”

“You are,” you say. “But that – you playing a game with her – was cute.”

Tomura’s nose wrinkles. “What does that mean?”

“It means –” Now that you think about it, cute is hard to define. “It makes you feel nice to look at. Warm. Happy. People react to babies that way a lot. Or dogs.”

“So that’s what it was,” Tomura says. You look questioningly at him. “The thing that happened when I saw you and Phantom. Cute.”

He’s talking about the day you moved in. You didn’t even know you had something in your house, much less what it was, and you thought Tomura was just as indifferent as you were. But what he just said – that means he wasn’t. And that means this all started a lot earlier than you thought it did. Hizashi’s words drift through your head, not his insults but something worse: He sees you as the only thing in his entire existence that’s ever made him happy.

Fine. If that’s how it’s going to be, you’ll take it. This is the only place in your entire life that’s ever felt like home.

“Hey,” you say, and Tomura looks at you. “Do you have enough energy stored up to stay materialized?”

“Yeah. Why?”

He probably thinks you’re angling for a hookup, but that’s not what you want. You step forward, closing the space between the two of you, and wrap your arms around him. The two of you are close in height. Your forehead is level with his chin, so you turn your head to the side, resting it against his shoulder. The same place he rested his head all of last night, until the sun came up and you set off on your mission to buy every invasive plant within twenty miles of here.

You’re expecting Tomura to complain, and you’re ready to fire back that it’s your turn, but he keeps quiet. His arms wrap around you in return, and the two of you stand there, each of you holding tight to something that could vanish easily from your grip, as the sun sinks and the neighborhood drowns in dusk, then sunset, and finally full dark.

Yay !

Chapter two of the shiggy x reader series will be delayed a bit but it is in progress!!

boyfriend gamer shigiraki!

imagining dating gamer shigiraki who actually is very popular.

he streams various online games, sometimes with friends but mostly by himself. with his competitive nature and wide game knowledge, he’s actually insanely good at any game he tries out.

to be honest, the one way to describe him is a loser stuck in a hot body. when he concentrates on his game he subconsciously pouts. he got popular from his reactions to scary games, no matter how hard he tries he can’t help but get scared whenever he hears the littlest noise, a complete scaredy cat.

who’s viewers thought he was a complete loner until one steam a couple months ago when someone took his attention off the screen, a smile immediately spreading across his face, as he thanked the person off camera for the food they gave him.

ignoring the comments curious of who was making the stone face streamer smile, “who got you smiling like that?” he read off, “none of your business.” the biggest mistake of his life. after that, every moment his attention was snatched from the stream, questions of if the loner had a special someone would flood his chat.

gamer shigiraki! who, for his 750k follower special, decided to stop being so introverted and answer some of his fans questions. “yes, I shower, next question.”, “i’ve been streaming for about 4 years.” he’s been avoiding all the girlfriend questions, not because he was embarrassed or ashamed, simply because he didn’t know if you would be comfortable with it, after all 90% of his viewers are men.

while in the middle of answering questions there was a knock on his door, you peeking through. he had been streaming for some hours now and hadn't eaten once, so you took it upon yourself to make him something. setting the plate down, he reached out to rub the small of your back, thanking you.

“can i say hi?” you whispered to him. you had been watching his stream and was genuinely alarmed by the amount of people who suspected him of having a girlfriend, not that they were wrong, it was just insane. You doubt that the comments would stop anytime soon so hey, why not give them what they want?

shigiraki was honestly surprised by the question, you have not once voiced any want to be on his stream, but he couldn’t hide the slight tint in his face of the thought of you showing interest in what he does. “of course.”

pulling you in by your waist to be in view of the camera, “hi!… what else do i say. I’m shigiraki’s girlfriend!” you smiled giving a small wave. the comments flooded with different variations of ‘no ways’ and ‘i knew its’. “how long have we been together?” he put a finger in his chin, “for about -no i’m not keeping her hostage- for about 5 years.”

nothing could hide the excitement on his face knowing that the person he loved so much was sitting next to him, interacting with his fans. after some time you stood up and stretched. “alright i’m gonna go now,” you smiled, giving him a kiss on his cheek and one last wave to his viewers “love you! don’t stream for too long today!” at the sound of the door closing, he turned his attention back to his viewers.

“no, i didn’t meet her in vr? what the fuck?”

lowk wanna make a pt 2

I didn’t put this WIP on the list for the WIP game, but I’m hyped about it, so here is an excerpt from a fic inspired partially by a conversation with @sophsiaaa and written for a summer fic event hosted by @threadbaresweater! Shigaraki x reader, coffee shop au + ‘a day at the beach’:

Past noon, things slow down a bit. You decide to speed-clean the espresso machine, and you’re so focused on your work that you don’t notice the customer. It’s possibly also the customer’s fault, since he’s peering at you from over the drink pickup counter instead of standing by the cash register, and when he barks the question at you, it startles you badly. “What’s the password?”

“On the WiFi?” You tuck your burned hand behind your back. “No password. Find a place to sit down and have at it.”

The customer looks disconcerted. Or at least you think he does — the lower half of his face is covered with a surgical mask, and given that he doesn’t have eyebrows, it’s hard to read his expression. “Why?”

“Why isn’t there a password?” You haven’t gotten that question yet. “I want people to be able to use it if they need it.”

“They’re gonna watch porn.”

“Me putting a password on the WiFi wouldn’t stop that,” you say. “And I’m not the Internet police. If somebody starts acting up, I’ll deal with it. If not — just use headphones.”

The customer’s expression twists. “I didn’t mean me.”

“Sure.” You’re not a moron. “It’s not my business what you do. Unless your business starts messing with my business. Seriously. Knock yourself out.”

The customer turns away, and you spend a second being extremely grateful that you went for single-occupancy bathrooms instead of multiple-stall bathrooms before you go back to cleaning the espresso machine. Your hand hurts, but it’s nothing running it under cold water won’t fix later. When you straighten up, there’s someone at the counter.

It’s porn guy, who you really shouldn’t call porn guy. Innocent until proven guilty and all that. You dry your hands and hurry over. “What can I get for you today?”

“Black coffee.”

“Sure. Anything else?”

The customer glances at the pastry case, then shakes his head. Then his stomach growls audibly. He knows you heard it. What little of his face is visible above the mask turns red. “No.”

“Tell you what,” you say. “I’ve got these new pastries the bakery wants me to try out, but next to nobody’s tried one yet. If you agree to tell me how it was, you can have it half off.”

“I have money.” The customer shoves a credit card across the counter to you, and you see that he’s wearing fingerless gloves. Or sort of fingerless gloves. They’re missing the first three fingers and that’s it. “I don’t need help.”

“No, but you’re helping me out,” you say. You add the pastry to his order and discount it by half, then fish it out of the case with a pair of tongs. “For here or to go?”

“Here.” The customer watches as you set it on a plate. “What is that?”

“It’s babka.”

“I can read. What is it?”

“I don’t really know,” you admit. Maybe that’s why people aren’t buying them. “The filling is chocolate and cinnamon, though. It’s hard to go wrong with that. It’ll be just a second with the coffee.”

You fill a mug, then point out the cream and sugar. Then you realize you still haven’t tapped the customer’s card. You finish ringing it up and glance at the cardholder’s name. Shimura Tenko. He hasn’t been in before today. You’re not the best with faces, but you never forget a name.

Accidental Boyfriend (Tomura Shigaraki x F!Reader)

Words: 5.5k // mdni (part 1)

Tw: reader's drink gets spiked, college au, heroes and villains are reversed(?), izuku stalks reader, fluff?, accidental dating, tomura's scatching described as a tick and will later be talked about as self harm, autistic!Tomura implied, idiots in love, gamer bf x artist gf, buckle up, (dialog heavy I wasn't feeling like writing well sorry)

Teaser: “I'm your boyfriend duh? I googled how to be a good boyfriend all night and one of the main things is safety and protection.”

It's a short circuit decision. Well, it's no decision at all since you're forced to do something– anything. He looks like he's no trouble… judging by the fact that he is sitting all alone on the couch during a house party just staring at the wall ahead. It is kinda weird. He looks like he might be nice enough though. Blue hair, dressed in a cozy black hoodie and you spot the septum piercing last. You hope. You have to take your chances. You sit down next to him.

“Hey, I know this is so weird and random but can you be my boyfriend? My stalker is right there and won't leave me alone,” you tell him. “I am so sorry to inconvenience you but… I need help for a sec to get rid of him.”

The blue haired guy looks at you and there is no reaction on his face whatsoever. Nothing. Death would be impressed. He just stares up at you with his crimson eyes like you're an abstract painting he doesn't get.

Is he deaf?! Or does he not speak your language?! You turn around to spot Izuku coming closer and your stomach twists. You can run… but if he catches you alone outside what then? No. The guy slings his arm around you, his hand comes to rest on your hip. So he did hear you? You lean into his side. Your heart is pounding so hard but you settle.

“Oh, (Y/N), there you–” He sees the hand on your hip and looks at the figure next to you. His face hardens instantly.

“Hi, Midoriya! Have you met my boyfriend?” You say.

“Y-You are dating Tomura Shigaraki?”

Tomura Shigaraki? Should that name ring any bells? He says it so… so… almost fearfully?

“Piss off,” the boy next to you, Tomura, mumbles through his teeth and you feel your stomach sink watching Izuku shrink. It was so inaudible, barely translating over the party commotion and yet it has Izuku tensed up.

“I am sorry to bother!” He leaves without another word, fists tensing by his side.

Now… Izuku is a big, muscle packed guy and the dude next to you is anything but that. He is lean and about your height? What just happened?

“It's not nice to tell people to piss off like that,” you say and bring some distance between him and you again. He retracts his hand.

“Thought he stalks you? Why be nice?” His voice is like sandpaper. It never raises or changes and stays monotonous just like his expression. You are unable to be read his face. He just is there… existing.

“Fair point--Tomura, was it?”

His eyes stare at you and you can hardly hold his gaze. He looks tired… and should chug about 4 litres of water to rehydrate. “I am (Y/N).”

He doesn't reply.

“Usually you'd say nice to meet you or something,” you mumble after a moment of dead cold silence passes.

“It was not nice?” He mumbles, looking at you… his eyes are cold but also attentive.

Your face reddens. Right. “I am sorry. Thank you! This night is a disaster.” You get up and bow to him. “Thank you again! I am a total bother. I apologize!” You walk a few steps but suddenly feel weird. You rub your forehead and tumble a bit holding onto the couch's backrest. “Why… why do I feel dizzy? I didn't even… drink alcohol… just some soda.” You brush it off and put a smile on your face. “Thanks, Tomura!”

》》》》

“Go low.”

You stir. Your whole body hurts and you feel like someone ran you over. Who is talking?

“Nah… your aim was off. I got you.”

This isn't your bed… it's too messy and smells like the sheets haven't been washed in forever… What happened? You groan as a sharp pain hits your head. Holy shit. You can't be hungover. You remember Shigaraki and them… nothing.

“I'm not turning my camera on. Stop bothering. You have– huh. I'm going AFK.”

You sit up. Gosh is this room messy. Your gaze is naturally attracted to the light spilling in through the gaps in the drawn curtains and that's when you see him. Tomura. He is sitting at his desk, turning in his gaming chair slowly toward you. Your world stops.

“You're finally awake,” he rasps. That same monotonous voice… maybe a bit softer.

Your body floods with panic. You look down on yourself. This isn't your shirt. No. No way. No way in hell.

“I didn't know if I should take you to the cops… the drugs they used should still be traceable if you go now. I googled.”

“W-what?” You stare at him.

Tomura sighs. “That Izuku guy and some of his friends must have spiked your drink or something? When you left the party you could hardly walk straight and they were waiting by the door… so I took you here since I don't know where you live.” He explains it so cooly like it's not a horrible thing to say. But he does know… He just can't show.

You draw short breaths and your lip quivers, tears sprout in your eyes and slowly travel down your tender cheeks. You try to wipe them but they don't stop coming. You are shaking all over. You never thought it would go this far. “Why did you do that?”

“I'm your boyfriend duh? I googled how to be a good boyfriend all night and one of the main things is safety and protection.”

You sniff and chuckle. So he's got jokes after all. “Tomura… thank you for looking out for me,” you sniff.

He shrugs, slouching there in his chair. “You threw up on your clothes… I put them in a trash bag in the bathroom. Just so you know.”

“I am so sorry.”

He shrugs again and itches his neck for a second then sits down on his hands. You definitely noticed the retraining he just practised on himself. “There's some Ramen and water… I have to get back to the game. Is that okay?”

You nod.

Tomura turns toward the desk again and puts the headset on. “I'm back. You guys suck without me.”

You wipe your tears. There is so much to think about. Do you wanna go to the police? Not really. There is no way to prove it was them spiking the drink. You know how this will go. Your head hurts.

You get up and walk to his bathroom. “Oh boy.” You have been to guy's dorm rooms before and they are never clean but Tomura has a problem. You wash your face and then use his electric cattle.

Can you say something?

“I am carrying you again,” he tells whoever he is talking to, clicking on the keyboard. “Stop bothering about the camera. Holy shit. Concentrate on the map.”

He sounds different. The color of his voice… it is more lively. You like it. You walk to the small kitchen area and grimace. Has he done dishes at all since uni started? You don't think so.

You open some drawers and find trash bags and dish soap and, thank the heavens, rubber gloves as well. You look for your phone and find it on the nightstand; plugged in.

He was even mindful enough to plug your phone in? That's sweet. You open Crunchyroll and lean the phone against the top shelf, then you start by sorting through the dishes. Sometimes you let it get this bad too. You don't judge him for it. It is what it is. You are in the zone super quickly, not realizing he approaches.

“You don't have to do that?”

Your body flashes with a current as his aura washes over you. He stands too close. You can feel the soft warmth of his body radiating.

You look up at him. “I know. I want to. Do you mind?”

“Do girlfriends do that?”

What a weird question? You shrug it off. “Well… if their boyfriend struggles then I think girlfriends help and support but a girlfriend is not a mother, of course.”

“I see,” he nods.

“I'm doing it as a thank you. Is that cool?”

“I guess. What are you watching?” He squints at your phone.

“Sugar apply fairytale… it's shojo.”

He nods. His gaze is so intense. You don't know what he wants. You can't read him one bit. Come of it… He reminds you a lot of Shall Fen Shall. “Do you want me to go?”

His eyebrows pinch and he itches at his neck again. “N-no? I don't… mind you being here.”

“Then let me clean to compensate you for all the inconvenience and we call it even and I'll be out of here?” You smile.

Tomura nods. “Do you want headphones? You can barely hear?” He says and mentions to the phone. He opens his backpack and gives you his overhead headphones then returns to his desk.

“Thank you,” you whisper.

You finish the kitchen and remember that you wanted to make tea. Now you have clean cups for that. You get the cattle going again and add a tea bag. You turn to Tomura.

“Shoot, you dingus!” He raises his voice a little. It's followed by a little laugh. You smile.

You push one of the ear cuffs back and step up to him. “Do you want tea?” You smile.

Tomura looks up at you, his eyes are kind of wide and his lips slightly parted. “Y-yes.”

The cattle clicks and you pour the water into the cups.

“Shut up. My girlfriend’s with me.”

Funny. Real comedian.

“Shut up. No… you don't know her. No! I am not making it up! I won't turn my camera on.”

“Hi, Tomura's friend,” you say as you put the cup on the desk. You wink at him and move on to the bathroom.

“I won't tell you. Shut up now. Let's game.”

But somehow Tomura can't really concentrate anymore. He watches the tea steam and takes a sip. “Of course she's cute. She's beautiful. Don't ask me that stuff. Shut up, Spin! I'm logging off.”

“Tomura?” You peek your head out from the bathroom.

“Just shut up!” He presses a button harshly and takes off his headset. “Yes?”

“Do you know that you have to clean your shower?” You ask. It's not accusatory or judgemental. It's a question. “Did anyone show you how to clean? Like your family?”

He blinks. But why… there is water running down the shower… why clean it? He doesn’t understand.

You have your answer. “Give me your tiktok? I will send you some good cleantok videos that explain how it works. That's how I learned it too.”

“Okay. T-thank you.”

He watches how you start to scrub the shower floor. “What are you playing?”

“Mostly fps games,” he shrugs.

Frames per second? What? No… that cannot be it. “Ah. Are you good at it?”

He nods– shrugs. “You could say that.”

You tug your hair back and use his headphones to keep it out of your face. It's really cute. He likes it.

“Are you hungry?” Tomura asks and grabs his phone.

“I mean… yeah.”

“Sushi? I pay.”

“Isn't that too expensive?” You frown.

“No?” He doesn't understand the question.

“Okay?” Is he secretly rich?

You finish up and sit back on his bed with your now lukewarm tea, watching his screen. FPS must stand for first person shooter. You giggle.

“What?” Tomura looks at you. He immediately thinks he did something awkward.

“You said FPS and I study Animation, right, so to me that means frames per second,” you explain.

“Oh,” his lips curl a little. “That is funny.”

“Yeah. What do you study?”

“Business.”

“Oh?” Your face twists in utter surprise. “I didn't expect that. Do you like it?”

“Enough,” he shrugs. “My dad makes me do it.”

“Ah… I understand,” you nod and bring the cup up to your lips. “I hate my dad, too.”

Tomura chokes on his tea and looks at you.

You shrug. “What?” You laugh. “Am I wrong?”

“No,” he chuckles. “I hate him.”

“Boyfriend–girlfriend bonding,” you go along with the joke.

“Yes,” he smiles a little.

The food is delivered and you watch how he turns one of his screens toward the bed then opens Crunchyroll. He searches for Sugar Apple Fairytale.

“What episode are you on?”

“5.” You watch him closely. He is cute for letting you watch your thing. The boys you dated always whined when you said you love romance anime. You think it's cute. He is cute. In a harmless way. He isn't really your type but Tomura is cute. Are you blushing?!

Tomura starts the episode and sits down next to you. “What is it about?”

“Fairies! It is Grumpy x Sunshine which is one of my favourite tropes!”

You spend a few more hours together, mostly decluttering and then it is time for you to go back to your own dorm. You almost don't want to leave. Something about Tomura's presence is making you feel safe and at ease.

“Thank you again,” you bow to him as you stand in the hallway. “It could have… ended badly.”

“Just give me a call if you need me. You have my number now,” he nods and tries to smile a bit.

“Thank you,” you nod and want to turn away but he leans in and presses a kiss to the top of your head. You freeze.

“Goodbye, gf. Thank you for… the cleaning, you know. I'll do my best to not let it get that bad again.”

“It was the least I could do… bye.”

Oh, the joke may have gone a bit too far now.

》》》》

You are sitting with Ochako scribbling a storyboard for one of your classes. You are telling her all about that night. What Izuku and co probably have done and that Tomura Shigaraki saved you.

“Shigaraki?!” She looks at you, deadpanning. “Holy shit, stay away from him!”

“Huh,” you look up and blink at her. “I just told you that he–”

“He killed his family? You don't know that? And he's kinda famous and has like crazy fangirls I hear. He's also super weird and creepy.”

“Izuku stalks and drugs me and you focus on some rumors and Tomura being– well, nerdy and emo? He is nice.” It fills you with rage. You don't know why. You don't have to be protective of him… he's a stranger. He is not your boyfriend. You really know nothing about him at all… why if he's–. “Let's not talk about it.” What's this about him killing his family? This is ridiculous? You sigh and turn back to the page but the sun gets blocked suddenly.

You look up. “Tomura!” He has the hood of his sweater pulled up over his pale blue hair and he looks even more exhausted than before. His lips are more cracked as well. You honestly just want to give him a lip balm.

“(Y/N), hello,” he nods. “How have you been?”

“Good? What about you?” You smile.

“Yeah.” You notice he avoids the question and instead opens his backpack and gets out a bookstore bag. “Here.”

You frown but take it. Did you forget something at his place? “What is it?” You look inside to find 3 volumes of a manga you have been meaning to pick up for a while.

“The women said it is grumpy x sunshine… so I got it for you,” Tomura rasps. “I read them already so we can talk about it. I have to go to class now.” He awkwardly leans down and presses a kiss to your temple.

Your eyes are the size of the moon in utter shock and your stomach churns. What is going on? What in the world is happening? You stuff your things into your bag and run after him, abandoning Ochako.

“Tomura, hold up!”

“Hm?” He turns.

“What is this about?” You can hardly hear yourself over how loud your heart beats. No you have an idea but… that is so ridiculous.

He blinks and sighs. “I-is it wrong? Did I act wrong? I googled and it said to make your girlfriend gifts and show interest in the things she likes. Do I need to do it differently? Tell me! I'll do better!”

Your stomach sinks as it dawns on you. His jokes… It never was a joke. He does not make jokes. Oh god. He really thinks… he took you seriously? No way. And now he looks at you like a wounded puppy. He is really worked up about it? He is putting in so much effort. How could you possibly crush him?! No. No. You can't do it. Holy shit. How did you get in this situation?!

“No! You are fine! Just–”

“Shiggy, we'll be– Oh, is that your girlfriend? No way… you didn't lie,” a pink haired guy walks up next to him, putting an arm around his shoulders. “Hi, I'm Spinner.”

“(Y/N), hi,” you say.

Tomura blinks at you. Did you want to say something or not? Did he already fuck up? He hates being this way. It is so weird how he got a girlfriend… he didn't think it would happen that way. He does not want to lose you already.

“Let's meet later?” You ask.

“Okay,” Tomura nods.

Oh god. You have to tell him somehow. How do you let him down gently though? You have no idea. You don't know anything about each other. How can he believe that you are dating… this is so strange. But you are so very aware he isn't doing it with any bad intentions… he truly doesn't know better and that makes it so hard to let him know this was never real.

You can hardly concentrate the rest of the day. You come up with every possible conversation starter for telling Tomura that you're not a couple but nothing seems sufficient.

And when you see him waiting for you outside your building, your heart just breaks. Your thinking shifts suddenly. What if you accidentally got a boyfriend? Would that be so bad? He's a cool guy… you'd just have to get to know– no… that just wouldn't be fair at all. It would be a lie… it would be out of pity.

“Hi, Tomura,” you try to smile and sit down next to him. People rush home around you as you sit on the stairs leading to the building.

“Hi.”

“We have to talk,” you say and watch how his eyes darken with sadness. Already? No no no.

“Oh… I read that's what girlfriends say when they break up. No… it's fine. I know I'm…. A degenerate.” It's like you can physically see him become smaller, shrinking. It is sad. You don't have the heart. Holy shit you want to scream. He looks so exhausted – exhausted that it is so hard to connect with people and that no one understands him.

You can't do it.

“Did you spent the last few days researching how relationships work?” You crook an eyebrow at him. He gives a nod. “You're cute.”

“Huh?” His mouth gapes ever so slightly and his eyes widen at you.

“Let's spend some time together tonight?” You ask. “Grab some dinner and do some class work?”

“O-okay?” You are weird but he doesn’t care. He knows he's desperate but he has been thinking about you nonstop. The way you just helped him get his apartment back on track and then also send him resources so he can learn how to clean for himself. Just because you wanted to help him… he can't let it go. It makes him feel so… heard. You didn't scold or judge him. You just helped.

You get up. “Let's just go to the cafeteria?” You are broke as fuck this month and couldn't afford anything else.

“Okay?” If that's what you want.

“Spinner seems nice,” you say. “Is he your best friend?”

“Yeah.”

You puff out some air. He's hard to have conversations with.

“The girl you were with, is she your best friend?”

Oh, a question. “Ochako is my roomie. We are pretty close,” you smile. “My best friend is back home though.”

“I don't have any friends back home,” he chuckles. You look at him worried. Tomura waves his hands and smiles. “Oh, no. I meant that in a… you know… funny way.”

“I see,” you smile. “So, I have heard some things about you.”

Tomura feels his chest tighten. You are still talking to him though so… maybe you haven't heard too much.

“Are you a famous gamer or something?”

“Oh… yeah. I stream and post on YouTube,” he says quietly.

“That's so cool. My bestie does that too. It's crazy how involved people get. So… you have like a fan base and all?”

Tomura nods. “Some of the hardcore fangirls won't like I have a girlfriend now… but I don't have to tell anyone about you yet… right?” He looks at you for confirmation.

You nod instantly, eyes a bit wide. “Wait… just how famous are you? Is that why you didn't want me to see your tiktok?” You frown and move your head closer. He only gave you his number so you had to send him links… you didn't understand why but brushed it off.

Tomura can smell your perfume for a second and nearly trips over his own shoes. You catch him, grabbing his arm. “Watch out,” you smile softly.

Oh, your smile. Tomura feels lightheaded every time. “S-sorry.” Your smile is what really gets to him… you smile so freely. He loves it so much.

“What for? How old are you by the way?”

“22. You?”

“Me too.’

He nods. “So… you're not from here?”

“Nope. I am a whole country gal.”

Tomura smiles subtly. “I see.” You're weird but so cool. He wants to spend every free second with you. Oh damn… does that make him a… simp?! “Do you play any games?”

“Not really but I'm up for trying! Will You teach me?”

“Yes! Sure! Of course! I think I know a game you could like.”

You look up at him and smile. He looks so excited and your stomach churns. Maybe this isn't too bad? You will just see where this goes? Maybe you end up falling for him? Some fake dating plot turning real? Why not… he seems to be fine with the situation as it is right now?

“Oh–”

Tomura grabs your arm and pulls you into his side. You were so focused on his joy that you must have missed someone coming the other way.

“Are you okay, (Y/N)?” Tomura asks.

“Yes… thank you,” you tell him then swiftly turn. “I am so sor– Izuku.”

“(Y/N)! Didn't see you there!” He beams. He always beams and it is such a creepy smile. Izuku makes the hair on the back of your neck stand with fear. It is the first time you see him since the party and your body freezes completely. “Sor–”

“Shut the fuck up!” Tomura barks and steps in front of you. “You did it on purpose, do you think I'm fucking stupid?” He shoves at Izuku.

“Tomura…” You look at him in utter confusion. Not at what he says… he might as well be right. Izuku seems to always be the one you physically bump into… weirdly enough. You are confused about the volume that Tomura's voice can climb to. You didn't expect it. There is so much rage inside of him.

“Wow… call your guard dog back,” Izuku laughs. “I am glad you're fine.” Izuku reaches out to touch your arm but Tomura intercepts the touch.

“Fuck off,” he tells the taller Izuku and Izuku leaves with a last look at you. What a fucking creep?! Tomura saw it. He saw it. How dare he?!

“Tomura?”

Tomura turns to look at you and his stomach sinks. He fucked up now. Oh, he really did fuck it. He shouldn't have done that. Why is he so incapable? Why does he ruin everything?

You watch how his hands fly up to his neck and start scratching violently. You reach your hand out but he backs away.

“I have to go,” he chokes out and hurries into the opposite direction. Running away is better than facing you. He does not want to see you look at him with fear… just like his–

Your body doesn't move for a moment. What are you doing? You are not really dating this guy? Why do you care? Your heart races in your ribcage begging your body to move.

“Tomura!” You run and catch up with him. “Are you okay? What's– oh god– stop!” You grab his wrists. “You're bleeding.”

And then somehow he ends up in your dorm room, sitting on your bed as you gather some band aids. Tomura has no recollection of how he got here. Its a blur. He thinks your hand was holding his. Now he is looking at your manga collection in the soft warmth of fairy lights, smelling clean laundry and your parfum.

“You have a lot of pillows,” he says.

“Yeah,” you shrug.

“I once read that lonely people sleep with more pillows.”

You blink at him. “Okay? You have a lot of pillows too.” You frown and kneel down on the bed beside him. You use a damp cloth first and clean up the dried blood. “What was that about?”

“I don't know… got nervous.”

“Don't lie.”

He looks at you. Everyone else would have run away at how weird he acted. “Aren't you… mad?”

“I am worried? Why would I be mad?” He truly is a mystery. “Are you okay?”

He doesn't answer. You put bandaids on his scratches and sit back. He looks like a wet dog now. Slouching, making himself small and wanting to be anywhere but here. What changed all of a sudden? You are so confused. You want the Tomura back that was starting to get comfortable.

You lean close and place a kiss on one of the bandaids. Tomura jolts back and looks at you bewildered. “Makes it heal quicker,” you say.

“That's not… medically proven, is it?” He rasps.

“It's real,” you smile. “Will you tell me why you got so upset?”

He doesn't get it. Why aren't you upset? You should be upset?! Tomura sighs and drops onto your pillows.

You look at him with a tight frown. He's not your boyfriend… so why… because he needs it? Is that? Your helper syndrome always kicks in at the worst times.

You lay down too, making him the little spoon. Your hands are reluctant, careful, as you sling one arm around him. You feel him stiffen up instantly.

“Is that okay?” You ask.

He nods. “Just… unfamiliar.” He pauses. “But I like it.”

You nuzzle your face into his back. Maybe he's right. Maybe you're terribly lonely… Maybe this is okay. You like it too.

“Izuku did do it on purpose. He always does.” You murmur.

“I… still shouldn't have–”

“I remember what you said at the party. Why be nice to my stalker? Like… duh… why didn't I think of that.”

Tomura snorts. “What? Someone puts a gun to your head and you smile?” Maybe it is because you're from the country side. Maybe you are too nice? Is that possible? Tomura wishes more people would be too nice then.

“Probably.”

He chuckles but gets quiet. “My dad… he doesn't want me to act… like that.”

Like that? Aggressive? Protective? “You protected me… I think that was fair. You said yourself that is what boyfriends are supposed to do.”

Tomura stays quiet. His hand slowly moves to yours and your fingers lock together. He feels so torn. This feels so good. You are so warm and soft and it makes him feel warm and soft for a change… but at the same time it is terrifying. Tomura knows he's not worthy of things like this. Yet…

You squeeze him a little. “Your dad sounds like a dick.”

Tomura laughs. It is a real laugh. He does not know where it comes from and you don't know why it makes your chest feel tight. You pull away and plop yourself on your elbow, looking at him.

“Your laugh is pretty,” you smile.

He blushes and looks away.

“So… the itching is a tick? Do you do something to cope instead of hurting yourself?” You ask.

“Why do you ask that so casually?” He sigh.

You don't understand the question. What else are you supposed to do? It is obvious and it is okay. “It is nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I have fidget toys on my keychain.”

“Why didn't you use them?”

“Huh? Because you would have thought I was weird!?” He raises his head to look at you.

“You're already weird,” you say. “That's nothing bad, though? I draw furry porn when I need money… that's weird too. If it keeps you from hurting yourself… Please use them. I won't judge.”

Quiet.

“Can I see?” He frowns.

You chuckle and get your phone out showing him the folder. His jaw drops.

“What the… fuck?” Tomura looks at you.

“Furries pay so well,” you say.

Tomura laughs again. “What else do you draw? Anime porn?”

“Am I so easy to read?” You grin. “My Sukuna porn is very popular.”

“Sukuna?!”

“With the 4 arms.”

“No.”

“Yep.”

“Show.”

“You need to unlock that part of lore first.”

He smiles. “I see.”

Your eyes lock and there is so much softness in the gaze you share. No… he's full of softness. And he wants to let it out, he begs to share it. Your chest feels tight again.

The door clicks open and you both sit up quickly.

“Oh?” Ochako says.

“Hi!” You say and jump off the bed. “Tomura, Ochako. It was an emergency,” you say and grab the first aid kid, putting it back.

Tomura waves at Ochako. “Hi.”

Ochako just grimaces. You frown.

“I should go,” Tomura gets up and takes his bag. “Thank you, (Y/N),” he says and bows to you.

“Yeah? No problem? Will you be okay?” You hurry after him as he walks to the door a bit too quickly.

“Sure. Bye.”

The door closes, leaving you confused again.

“Please, don't bring him here, okay?” Ochako says. “He's not a good guy.”

“What do you mean?” You look at her with squinted eyes. “Like… what? He's–” You sigh. You don't want to fight.

“Is he not leaving you alone after what happened at the party?” Ochako unpacks her bag. “That's scary.”

Huh?! She has never said that about Izuku once and Izuku has been forcing his way into your room before. “No… we wanted to hang out.”

“But you're not for real dating, right?” Ochako looks at you like you're crazy.

Your tongue doesn't work for a second then your phone rings. “That's my bestie. I gotta–” You take your phone and walk outside sitting down in the empty hallway. How will you tell him about this? He will burn you alive. “Yes?”

“Sup, girlie?”

“Too much. I accidentally got a boyfriend.”

“– what?! How do you accidentally get a boyfriend?! Explain that shit to me.”

You tell him the story leaving out some things. You don't tell Touya about the spiked drink. You know he'd raise hell and Izuku would walk out of it with broken bones. “And now… now I kinda think I wanna see where this goes. He's cute… maybe something–”

“Bitch, it's all a lie, tho? Is that fair to him?”

“I get what you're saying but I think I would… I think telling him that I never meant to actually date him and it was just to scare off Izuku… He'd be crushed and discouraged.”

“How the hell did you get in this situation? And why the fuck would you not clear it up? Are you taking drugs or something?”

“I have no idea,” you whine. “You should have come by and dealt with Izuku, I guess.”

“Didn't you say you don't like violence?” His breathy laughs rings.

“I changed my mind. Why be nice to Izuku… right?”

“Oh… ya boyfriend has a good influence on you?”

“Shut up?” You smile. “He's cool. He plays games too. FPS or whatever.”

“Immediate red flag.”

“Oh, cmon. He's nice.”

“I'm your bestie. I have to hate your boyfriend… even if he's just an accidental one. You will have to tell him eventually.”

“I know… I will. I just… I think he needs the safety, you know? Don't worry.”

“Tsk. You have a stalker and an accidental boyfriend… sure I worry.”

“Touya.”

“Gotta log in to my gaming sesh, will you be okay?”

“Yes. Have fun! Oh! Will you like… make a list with gamer abbreviations. Like what is afk?”

Touya laughs and the line goes dead.

You get up and walk back inside and Ochako stands right at the door. You frown, a suspicious feeling washes over you but you brush it off unknowingly of what's to come.

Your phone lights up again. You shouldn't feel so happy seeing his name. But then again… Why not? It's so weird. You didn't think this is how you'd get a boyfriend.

[Tomura Shigaraki, party bf:] good night <3

Goofy Xmas stuff that took WAYYY longer than it had any right to. Anyway don’t look too long at this or you’ll reveal how fucked it still is

Shigaraki.

A man so beautiful, so sexy, so perfect the world can't handle him. Therefore he couldn't be real, and the sky weaps for him.

its kinda sad but you'r my reason to live 🫤

Shigaraki Being Comforting Headcannon

———————————————————————————

Shigaraki//non gender specific reader. Detailed description of depression, implied suicidal ideations, mentions of alcohol, PLF arc.

You sat next to Shigaraki at the PLF’s upscale bar. He was alone, playing on his switch, just trying to pass the time while waiting for his injuries to heal and enjoy some peace and quiet.

You felt lonely too, and have looked up to your boss since you joined the league in the very beginning. Proud of how far he’s made it.. how far we’ve all made it.. but you can’t ignore the quiet depression lingering in the background of your mind. Even in moments of celebration, it’s there. It’s always there, following you like an unwanted entity, feeling as though it is forever attached to you.

Today was one of those days where the depression got louder. You could no longer bury it or push it away, it was demanding for you to feel its presence, to acknowledge it and face it. You felt heavy, empty, and alone, even though you were surrounded by people all the time, the feeling of worthlessness embodied your soul.

You were more quiet than usual, normally you talk a lot or at least smile at him and ask about his games, but not today. You just sat there staring at your drink as if you were looking through it. He couldn’t help but notice. “Either drink it or don’t, it’s creepy that you’re just sitting here like this”

Without looking away or moving, a tear falls down your face, changing his tone as one of his comrades is feeling pain. “Hey. Don’t just sit there and cry, tell me what’s wrong?”

You respond in a quiet and shaky voice, continuing to not move an inch, frozen in your tragic state, “it’s kinda sad but.. you’re my reason to live”

He doesn’t say anything.

Shigaraki just stares at you for a moment, his mouth slightly ajar as he is trying to choose his words carefully.

“Why does it have to be sad? I’d say that’s a great reason to exist” he grins.

You don’t react to his shitty joke. He then takes a sip of his drink and his voice becomes more serious.

“Look. That’s the reason I’m trying to change this rotten world. To destroy it. Will there by anything left after? Who knows really… but it’s better than living in a world full of pseudo-hero’s and all the dumbass people who worship the ground they walk on. The rejection felt from those around us will only grow stronger and more powerful each day until we do something about it. That’s why you’re here with the league right? Because you want to make a change too? So don’t do anything stupid to jeopardize that. You’re an important player in this game, you’ve survived this long with the issues you’ve had to face and deal with, what’s a little longer? Get angry, and fight back. I need you.”

Note from author:

It’s my first ever headcannon/short fic so I’m sorry if it’s bad or boring >.< I just wanted to spice up the ask responses a little bit if I can.

Perspective, chapter 1 of 2.

tenko x cis female and poc friendly reader

safe for work // 4.8k words // AO3.

warnings: ...jealousy? some actions may be seen as creepy.

summary: tenko goes to art school and gets a crush on a musical theater major.

Horizon Line -- an actual or imaginary line in a work of art representing the point at which water or land seems to end and the sky begins.

×X×

Tenko had fallen asleep before the performance had even started.

He had long lost track of how long he'd been awake for. It was the end of his first semester in university and the prestigious art program he had gotten into busied him with project after project. He was running out of steam. Honestly, he had been running on fumes for weeks now.

He'd rather be in his dorm finishing his assignments instead of sitting in one of the theaters in the performing arts building. If it wasn't a requirement for Fine Arts majors to attend other Fine Arts events, he would have never have set foot in this place. The noise of the attendees filling the room and the orchestra tuning their instruments was grating his sleep deprived nerves.

He grumbled and crossed his arms as someone took the seat beside him. His leg bouncing as he grabbed the program the usher had handed to him when he first entered. Tenko's bloodshot eyes were barely able to process anything more than The Phantom of the Opera on the front of the flimsy pamphlet, before shutting it and glaring at the scarlet curtains on the stage.

A few minuets later, the lights began to dim and he sighed in relief as the room quieted. He could finally catch some much needed sleep.

He tried stretching his stiff legs in an attempt to loosen himself up and closed his eyes.

Only to open them at the sound of your voice singing to him on the stage.

"Think of me, think of me fondly when we've said goodbye. Remember me, once in a while, please, promise me you'll try."

Tenko was mesmerized. Watching you on stage woke him up more than the energy drinks he'd been living off of all semester. He was absolutely immersed with your performance. He soaked in your every word and movement and before he knew it, two hours had gone by and the cast was being applauded as they bowed.

He sat in awe for a moment as the auditorium lights flicked on and he stood, shuffling through the crowd. He found a nice corner of the lobby behind a pillar as he and some other audience members waited. He skimmed through the program and found you. He whispered your name like a secret only he could ever know.

The cast slowly came out one by one and thanked the guests for coming. Tenko's eyes darted around impatiently. Finally, out came you in the white gown you wore in your final scene, looking like an angel that had come down to offer his sorry existence some respite.

You greeted and thanked the attendees as they praised you and handed you flowers. It was the final night of your musical and you were beaming. Tenko's fingers fidgeted at his sides as he yearned to get closer to you and experience your radiance himself.

A guest bowed and left, leaving an opening for him to approach. He took a step out from behind the pillar, but you turned at the sound of your voice coming from behind you. Tenko recognized the person as the man who played the Phantom and sighed when he saw you turn and leave the room.

When Tenko returned to his dorm, he searched your name online and found your social media. His night was spent watching your videos. He didn't realize how much time had passed until his alarm went off and he saw the sunlight peaking out from behind onyx curtains. It was time for him to get ready for class.

The semester had finished with him acing art and barely passing his core courses. It was winter break and with most students away, the campus was deserted. The thought of having no one to go home to didn't even cross his mind as he spent the break filling his sketchbooks with you.

His second semester started off much better than the first one. His art had rapidly improved from how much he'd been practicing recently.

He found a spot he liked. It was a small outdoor table nestled between some trees on the southern campus dormitory area. The weather on this side of the country wasn't as cold as other prefectures would be in January, but there was still the occasional breeze that made his dry skin prickle up with goosebumps. The rain was more likely to get him sick, although, since he was under the wide umbrella of the table, he found that unlikely and continued his sketch of you.

A week and a half later, he gulped down the last of his cold medication and slammed the container down in frustration. He leered at the harrowed reflection on the bathroom mirror. His eyes were heavy with deep bags, his skin a sickly colour, and his hair hadn't been brushed for 2 or 3 days. He let out a sigh.

×X×

He found another spot he liked, safe from the chilling late January rain. It was in the performing arts building, in a seating area by the entrance. The art program may have been the school's top program, but it's grand yet modern appearance showed that there was no skimping of funds. The grand architecture and romantic interior design was a contrast to the art building's modern and sleek appearance.  On the outside, the building designs complimented each other, with this building being a few stories shorter than the building next door that Tenko was used to. Noisier too.

Tenko had his earbuds in as he slouched on the upholstered chair, sketching, when he noticed a familiar form in the corner of his eye.

It was someone he recognized as your frequent scene partner that you seemed to be joined at the hip with, if your social media was anything to go by. Tenko felt a spark of excitement bubbling inside of him and he looked around hoping to see you, but your face was not among the crowd of students. His hope deflated to disappointment and he scratched the side of his neck. You were likely already in class.

It was ten minutes into the hour when Tenko decided to leave. He gathered his things and carried his sketchbook in his arms as he stood and walked away from the seating area.

He tripped over his feet and bumped into someone, his sketchbook flying out of his grasp.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!!"

It was you.

Your sweet voice was full of apology as you bent down to grab his sketchbook for him. He watched in awe at how swiftly you moved. He was at a loss for words. Your fingers froze over the edge and Tenko realized what page it had landed open on.

"Is that... me?"

Your voice sounded so pretty, even when you were confused. He felt his face burning as you grabbed the sketchbook and stood. Your eyes stared down at the sketch of you he had just done while in the seating area, when he was itching to catch a glimpse of the top of your head through the crowd.

You were so close now and it was going to kill him.

"This is from my Jekyll and Hyde audition last spring, right? Back when I was trying to get the role of Lisa Carew..."

You were so close now and he knew you'd think he was a creep for watching your old videos and bumping into you. You probably thought he had it all planned out, like some sort of stalker.

"Is it okay if I flip through..?"

His brain was screaming at him to say 'no, give it back' but his head nodded, unable to deny you of anything you wanted from him. Yes, there were sketches of you without any clothes on and he was well aware of how that would look, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. He would rip out his heart for you to use as a hand warmer, if you asked.

He watched with a gut wrenching mix of horror and delight as you flipped through and took your time to study every page. Drawing had always come easily for him, with hands being his favourite body part to draw. Expressions were a bit more difficult for him to feel satisfied by so he preferred to leave faces blank or smudged out. With you, he actually put in the effort to capture your expressions.

He could see your eyes carefully observe every stroke he made and take in the details. The furrow in your brow as you focused had him contemplating whether or not he wanted to reach his hand over to your face and smooth it out or leave it perfect the way it was.

You hand him the sketchbook and he snaps out of his thoughts.

"Huh?" He had been too in his head to hear what you had said.

"Thank you, I've never had someone draw me before. It feels really nice." You say with a soft laugh. The sound made his skin itch and the tips of his fingers tingle with electricity. He clutched his sketchbook tight enough to pale his knuckles. His nails dug into the material as he barely remembers to stop staring and nod.

You offer him praise and he feels dizzy. You were so nice. Why were you so nice? To him? He wanted to speak but he couldn't decide on what to say.

"I'm super late to practice and my partner's going to be on my ass about it." You sighed. "I gotta go now. You wave goodbye and disappear down the hallway.

He was also a little late to class, his professor shot him a judgmental look as he entered the class a few minutes later. Tenko couldn't bring himself to care. You knew he existed.

×X×

The weather was nice and Tenko was sketching at the outdoor table, when someone sat across from him. He looked up and saw you with an ice cream cone.

"I knew you looked familiar! You're the person that's always out here working on something."

He felt his face heating up as you took a lick of your ice cream. You were so forward. He didn't expect you to approach him again. He had chalked the positive end of your last conversation up to politeness.

"I guess you've been drawing this whole time, huh? Mystery solved. Also explains why you're so good at drawing."

"Thanks to your performances," Tenko says without thinking. He immediately panics at how creepy he sounded.

"Oh, is that why you draw me? I thought it was the outfits since the costume department goes all out for lead roles. Huh, interesting." You continue licking your ice cream while watching him and he has to look away, he felt so shy in your presence. He didn't feel worthy of your attention. You were so soft, so pretty, so talented and he was just a creep with a crush that couldn't stop himself from sketching you constantly.

He looks down at his hands as he stumbles through his nerves when he explains how watching you had helped him with movement, making his art more fluid and dynamic. When he finishes, he looks up and sees you smiling at him. The sight made his breathing hitch and he rasped out a small, "what..?"

Were you making fun of him? Is that what this was? Were you actually just here to-

"You should let me do some reference work with you? I could do more stuff for you."

His eyes widened and he could feel his face heating, the corners of his lips tugging. He didn't know how to speak without making a fool of himself and he was thankful you kept talking. He was happy to sit quietly and watch you.

"We could schedule private sessions, that way it can be just the two of us without anyone interrupting."

"What?" Questioned a third, deeper voice.

The two of you look up and see your partner staring down at you while holding an ice cream cone of his own. "What kinda weird shit you getting into now?"

Your brows furrowed. "Hm? What do you mean?"

"Your wording sucks."

You took a moment to think about it and became flustered. "I didn't mean anything strange," you assured Tenko.

"Sure, pervert."

"Anyways, this is my new friend, uh..." you look over at him sheepishly, "Sorry, what's your name?"

"Shimura Tenko..." His fingers fiddle with the corner of his paper.

"Can I call you Tenko? Or is that too familiar?"

Tenko's face heated up, "Th-That's fine..."

You nod enthusiastically before looking back up at your partner. "This is my new friend Tenko. He's the artist I was telling you about!"

"Oh, so you're the guy who draws her naked?"

"I-It's art..!" You defended.

"S'weird, but whatever." The man seemed bored as he licked his ice cream and took a seat in the chair beside her. "Todoroki Touya. She's like a leech so you're stuck with her now. My condolences."

You nod as you take a lick of your ice cream, "We are now bonded for life."

Tenko awkwardly looks between the two of them, unsure of what to say. The two performers end up in a conversation and he can tell you were trying to include him so that he didn't feel left out. After some bickering, Touya takes a bite out of your ice cream.

"How can you just bite it like that!? Doesn't it hurt your teeth!?"

He shrugs, "The cold never bothered me."

You hum a song from a children's movie as you pull out your phone and hand it to Tenko, asking him to insert his Line I.D. because you want to friend him. He looks between you and Touya, crimson eyes glancing at the arm the other man was lazily resting on the back of your chair.

"Is that okay..?"

You tilt your head in confusion, reminding him of a puppy. "Why wouldn't it be?"

Tenko looks from your kind eyes over to Touya's turquoise ones that seemed to be blazing with fire. As soon as Tenko blinks, the heat was gone and replaced with an impassive expression. Perhaps the dark look directed towards him was simply his mind playing tricks on him.

He typed in his username and you send him a friend request as soon as the phone is returned to you. You angle the phone above your head to take a selfie. Touya shoves his head into the frame, sticking his pierced tongue out as he photobombed.

You notice the time and sit up in a hurry, stating you have a paper due that you still haven't worked on. You run off into the student housing across from the outdoor table.

Tenko watched as you disappeared into the building before looking over at Touya who still sat at the table, only to find that the man was already staring at him. Tension thickened the air like smoke from a fire that made him feel like he was suffocating. He opened his mouth to speak, but Touya scoffs and finishes his ice cream in a single bite before getting up to leave. Tenko watched as Touya swiped his student I.D., shooting him a cocky grin as he entered the same dorm as you.

Tenko felt his phone vibrate and unlocked it to see you had sent him your class schedule so that you two could plan a time to meet up. He eagerly studied the photo and you sent him another photo. It was the selfie you took before you left.

"It was nice seeing you again, Tenko! Let's set up a day to hang out!!"

He could feel the heat rising from his neck to his ears.

You were too cute.

×X×

Over the next 3 weeks, you and Tenko have lost track of the amount of times the two of you had hung out. Sometimes for drawing references, sometimes to eat at the dining hall, sometimes just for the hell of it. Your schedule was busier than his so he was appreciative of the fact that you went out of your way to be with him. Especially on today, of all days.

You and Tenko sat on the floor, your backs against the mirror of the small practice room as he clutched the bag of chocolate cookies you had given him. They were homemade, you said. You had baked them on your dorm floor's shared kitchen. They were in the shape of hearts, flowers, and a bunny for Tenko. He didn't think he would ever forget the ache in his chest when you told him he reminded you of a bunny. The cookies had pink and red icing made with natural ingredients, which was why the palms of your hands were stained with beet juice. He licked his dry lips at the thought of you working hard. Just for him, too, because apparently Touya was a picky eater so you simply bought blue food colouring to use on his cookies. He swallowed anxiously as you continued speaking.

"I was hoping that maybe I'd get chocolates today."

"Isn't Valentine's Day when the girl gives the guy the chocolate..?"

You nod, "Yeah, the norm is girls give chocolates to guys on Valentine's Day then on White Day the guy can give the girl chocolates in response, but you never know! Girls can give girls chocolates, too. It happened to my friend in high school, though it was the guy version of that. Anyways, the whole gender thing Japan does isn't really my cup of tea. Who cares what your gender is, just give people chocolates."

You sighed before continuing, "I've never gotten chocolates before. I know, it's kinda silly to whine about this, but I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic so can you blame me?" You laugh softly to yourself. "If Touya was here, he'd say yes and that it's my fault. He's always teasing me about these kinds of things." Tenko watches as you purse your lips deep in thought.

Tenko chewed his lip before quietly asking, "And Touya? Won't he give you any on White Day?"

"Maybe, but it'll be different." You pull up your knees and hug them. Your thighs were distracting and he struggled to keep his eyes off of them. "The cookies I gave to Touya were obligatory chocolates, not the 'real feeling' kind you would give to someone you like. Last year, I gave Touya obligatory chocolates and he started complaining because he had already received too many sweets. I was so jealous, but at least I managed to convince him to give me his chocolate."

Though he enjoyed snacks, Tenko didn't really care for the holiday. He never really had a reason to... until now.

"Tenko, have you ever gotten chocolates? I mean, other than the ones I just gave you?"

"No."

"So I'm your first?"

He nodded, moving his head to stare down at the sketch in his lap. His fingers fiddled with the corner of the page, crumpling it more and more until it became limp from wrinkling. He'd always found destroying things to be quite soothing for him.

"I..." Tenko was hesitant but decided if you were going to reject him, it was better if you did it sooner rather than later. "I used to live in an orphanage..."

In the corner of his eye, he can see you moving your head quickly to look at him. He tried to swallow his nerves as he continued speaking.

"My family died in an accident when I was five. I was sent to live with a distant relative since there was no one else and the situation was not... ideal. The kids at my new school picked up on my gloominess and shunned me. Even when my great uncle died, my presence would be deemed too unsettling to anyone who tried getting to know me."

He was too afraid to turn his head to look at you so he continued fiddling with the page, ruining more and more of it. You place your hand over his, calming the destruction.

"I used to live in an orphanage, too."

Tenko's eyes widened and he looked at you. "Are you... lying?" He whispered.

"My parents died in an accident when I was little. Wrong place, wrong time. I had no other family in Japan, so I got placed in a children's home. I wouldn't lie to you, Tenko."

His eyes scanned your face, looking for any sign of this being a trick but he could tell from the warm sincerity in your eyes that you were telling him the truth. "I don't know what to say..."

You smile softly at him, "You don't have to say anything."

The feeling of your thumb rubbing circles against his thumb made Tenko's heart tremble. He wanted to swim in this feeling, to drown in it.

He watched your eyes glance down from his and at his lips, his breathing hitching in anticipation as you leaned in slowly to-

The practice room door opened, making the two of you flinch. Tenko missed the feeling of your hand as you leaned back and glared at the intruder.

"I thought I told you to knock before opening doors. You scared me." You folded your arms against your chest.

"Well in that case, I won't give you my chocolates," Touya taunted as he walked over to you. He dropped his bag at the side of you Tenko wasn't on, making a loud 'thump' as it hit the wood floor.

"Chocolate!!" Touya smirked as you opened it and pulled out a heart shaped cookie with the kanji for love written in icing.

"Whatever, eat later. We've got rehearsal."

You look up at Touya while stuffing your face before looking over at Tenko, then back at your partner. "Already? It's not for another ten minutes."

Touya rolled his eyes and grabbed the bag before you could reach in for more sweets. "On time is late."

"Hey! Don't use my words against me, they sound weird coming from you." You wipe your hands against a handkerchief before moving to stand up. "By that logic, you're always late!"

Touya moved towards the door, beckoning you closer with the bag, "Here, doggy."

"Doggy..!?"

"If you spin around and bark I'll give you a treat." The two of you could hear him laughing as he walked out of the room with the bag.

You pout, "That Touya... doesn't he know dogs can't eat chocolates?" You shake your head and Tenko stands, pulling his backpack on. "I guess I'll... see you later then?"

It felt kind of awkward now, but Tenko didn't mind. He only wished that your time together wasn't cut short.

"Yeah."

"Can't wait." You grin and walk out of the dance practice room together. You wave as you go down the opposite side of the hall to catch up with Touya. In the distance Tenko can hear you woof.

As Tenko exited the performing arts building, he felt his phone vibrate. He opened it and saw a selfie of you with chocolate smeared on the side of your face, while trying to shove Touya's face out of the frame and seemingly getting the chocolate on his face in the process.

He grinned. He also couldn't wait to see you again.

×X×

"Chocolate? For me?" You gaped at the small bag of chocolates.

Tenko nodded, his eyes shyly peering up at you as you grabbed the bag and opened it. "There's only four. I made more but they… got ruined…"

"They're handmade?" Your face softened at him, making his heart flutter and his fingers flex at his sides in excitement. You took a bite of one and grinned wide, covering your mouth with your hand as you spoke. "This is really good, Tenko. I didn't know you could cook."

Tenko couldn't but he wasn't going to ruin the moment by speaking. He watched as you ate. The two of you were sitting side by side at his favourite outdoor table near your dorm. Last month, on Valentine's Day, the end of your conversation was a little awkward but thankfully it was gone the next time you guys saw each other. Once again, the two of you had hung out together a bunch of times. The biggest difference though was proximity. Tenko had noticed you getting closer and closer to him at every encounter.

"I finally received chocolates from someone. I'm really happy that it was you, Tenko."

He felt like he died and went to heaven. It would explain your presence. You just needed a halo.

"They're…"

Your eyes looking up from the bag made him nervous and he shook his head, deciding it was better if he didn't finish the sentence.

"They're what?" You ask, sensing his hesitation. "It's just me," you reassure.

"Just you..?" Just you? Just you?

You smile at him before looking down at the bag of chocolates with a pensive expression for a few moments. You look back up at him.

 "Tenko."

"…Yes?" His voice nearly broke. Did he go to far? Did he?

"Even if your hair is always in your face, you're pretty cute." You reach out and brush his hair to the side, tucking it behind his ear. The warmth of your finger tips were no match for the heat flaring across his entire body at your sweet gesture.

You giggle and slowly lean in to his face. He doesn't move. He is frozen. You place a kiss on his cheek and he panics, moving further away in his chair with his hand coming up to hover over the site of your affection.

"Y-You kissed me…"

"I--I'm-- I'm sorry! I didn’t think you would be offended by it. Are you okay?"

"What about Touya!?"

You look at him with a puzzled expression. "What about Touya?"

"He's your boyfriend, isn't he!?"

"Huh!?" You sat up straight in your seat. "I don't have a boyfriend??"

"What?"

"You mean, this whole time you thought Touya was my--" A laugh escaped your lips for a brief second until you collected yourself, looking at him seriously. "Touya's my best friend. I mean… I did like him at one point but it was unreciprocated. Not that it matters, that's old news. I like you, Tenko."

The air left his lungs and he was pretty sure it wasn't going to come back anytime soon.

You liked him?

You?

Liked him?

Shimura Tenko?

Was he dreaming? Hallucinating this entire conversation? It was the only way any of this made sense.

"Here, eat some of these chocolates with me. They're really yummy. The perfect mix of sweet and salty." You pluck one from the baggy and lift it towards his lips. He stares into your eyes then down at the chocolate.

"I'd rather you eat them…"

You pout, "Okay, I won't force you."

You nibble on the chocolate and Tenko licks his lips at the sight.

"What?" You half-laugh. His eyes snap back up to yours.

"I like you, too."

"You do?" You look at him shyly. "I guess now would be a good time to tell you those chocolate cookies I gave you were the 'real feeling' kind?"

You've liked him for that long?

Without warning, Tenko leans in and takes your lips into a kiss. It's clumsy and awkward like him, but you don't shove him away. He can taste the salty sweet on your tongue as you kiss him back and though he wants to keep going, his lungs protested. He pulls back and the two of you stare at each other as he gathers his bearings.

"Was that your first kiss?" You ask.

He offers a small nod, "Was it that bad?"

"It's okay, we'll have plenty of time to practice."

Surprise filled him. "You want to d-do it again?"

You giggle, "Of course I do. So, as long as you're alright with it…"

"Right now? We can do it again right now?" He knew he sounded eager but he couldn't bring himself to care. He needed to feel the softness of your lips against his own.

"I like your enthusiasm." You laugh. "Let's do it when it's just us, okay? We're in public. I'm sure we can schedule in some more uninterrupted private sessions, right, Tenko?"

Tenko gulped, nodding since he didn't trust his voice at the moment.

You weren't disgusted by him, you wanted to kiss him. You wanted to be alone with him. You accepted him and all his faults.

You liked him.

Tenko, impatient as he was, could wait as long as you needed him to.

He loved you.