This Is My Weight Gain Sigil I Created. Reblogs/likes Will Charge It. The More Reblogs This Gets, Hopefully

Okay so first of all

And second of all-

in response to the "why you know so much about everything" post, i would like to inquire about the aforementioned banana famine

Ah, yes, the great Banana Famine. Dark, dark days indeed. Gather round my children, I am going to tell you a story of great tragedy.

Eons back, in a strange far away land, in a world now long gone (circa 1950), the Gros Michel reigned supreme. It was the one Banana to rule All bananas. Gros Michel (literally Fat Michael in French, also known as “Big Mike”) was the main banana cultivar grown in Central America and sold around the globe. A noble specimen, it’s thick peel and dense bunches made it resilient, easy to ship, and yes also fat. Look. Look at it. This banana is thiiiiiiiicc

hard to find good photos. it would have also resembled the goldfinger banana. looooook et it, it so thicc

so thicc. 

Ahem.

And all was well and good and peaceful.

Everything changed when the Panama disease attacked.

Ah, the Panama disease. The great banana plague. The Banana Blight, if you will. Songs were written in elegy to the terrible destruction it wrought. Like, actually. Here’s the “Yes we have no bananas” song:

It was Chaos.

Vast tracts of plantation banana trees, noble warriors, slaughtered, cut down in their prime. Ah! the grief. Ah! the loss.

But, amid the havoc of what wikipedia and I refer to as the Gros Michel Devastation Era, an unlikely hero arose. You know it as simply a humble banana. But our hero has a name:

cavendish, it’s named cavendish. 

The Cavendish banana, a cultivar that had been mass produced since the turn of the century, but only just then got it’s Time to Shine. For whatever reason, Cavendish bananas grew just fine in the same Panama disease-ridden soil that destroyed Gros Michel trees. So yeah, we planted them, fought the blight, won the war, got bananas back. 

But every war has casualties. 

Never again were bananas so tasty. Never again, were bananas so thicc.

I warned you this was the story of a tragedy. A moment of silence for our fallen comrade, please. Raise your wands to our late, great hero, Gros Michel.

(You can still get em in some places tho. Or like hybrids? idk. ) 

And kiddies, that’s the story of the banana famine as i know it.

Other deets:

BANANAS HAD SEEDS HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THIS

LOOK AT IT

bananas were cultivated over time to be seedless. 

Bananas were deboned. dwell on that.

unnfff yeah

feels so wrong but so good

unnnfff

misc stuff 

cavendish bananas may or may not be dying. We may or may not see the dark days of plague descend again. idk, look it up.

There’s a story (not proven) that the reason artificial banana flavor tastes weird is b/c it was based on the flavor of the Gros Michel. If so, it might be cause Fat Mike had a stronger taste (due to higher levels of isoamyl acetate). idk.

the “Yes we have no bananas” song was written in 1922 during an earlier outbreak. src.  like any good plague, panama disease has a history of hovering over it’s fearful victims, sometimes for years, before striking the final blow.

sources are in the links above, also see the links on these wiki pages

i swear if i get hate mail on a banana post i don’t even know what i’ll do, probably stab a wall with a fork and eat it.

I want to share one more thing with you.

I saw this with my own two eyeballs. now you have too. we never speak of this again. we take this to our graves

shhit I’m tired. 

you guys owe me a reblog on this one. Honor system, don’t mooch.

-BGP signing off

Op where’s the flipping essay??!?!?!??! We need this!!!

high school musical 2 is a thinly veiled metaphor for white privilege. employment and education opportunities are handed to troy, a white boy, on a silver platter despite his own protests that “i don’t think i’m qualified”, solely because of a rich white girl’s interest in him. his friends, people of colour, are overlooked for similar opportunities despite having the same skill set as troy himself. when troy and gabriella break the country club staff rules, it is gabriella, a filipino girl, who is punished for the breaches while troy receives nothing but a verbal scolding every time. in this essay i will-

James Cathcart, the current VA for James and Meowth, along with several other characters for the dub, is retiring from voice acting due to being diagnosed with cancer. (The other most well-known VA was Maddie Blaustein for Meowth, a trans woman, and Eric Stuart was the previous VA of James. He's always been Gary tho.)

It's mentioned to be advanced, with surgery not currently being an option due to the size and location of the tumor. (It's mentioned to be treatable tho.)

Had a real moment when Squid Game spawned into existence with millions of prepackaged fans out of the aether because I thought people were talking about

AND THE FINAL. KNUCKLES PART 4

(Excluding the one next aftermath one that's coming)

I think knuckles would just kinda slip into calling them mom or dad rather than having to be told its okay, and maddie and Tom are alright with that :)! They were outside doing yoga at the start of this, Tom, sonic and tails were all playing in the actual garden :)

Thanks for reading and stay tuned!

It’s me. I’m the problem. I’m the one who never grew up and now I’m paying the price by feeling like the odd one out in my friend group who I’m starting to think doesn’t care but hey at least none of them are on tumblr to witness me and my low self esteem in all it’s glory so ahahahahaha insecurities pog.

I've come to make an announcement: @nickelodeon is a company that killed a great show and should revive Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with @netflix just like they did with Glitch Techs!  And since they killed an amazing show, so I’m gonna say this, and continue to support ROTMNT in anyway I can.