I Was Tagged By The Amazing @pen-for-sword. Thanks A Lot! 1. Who Has The Darker Backstory, Your Protagonist

Ruth Madievsky, All-Night Pharmacy // Suzanne Scanlon, Promising Young Women // Robin Roe, A List of Cages // Hayao Miyazaki, Kiki's Delivery Service // Susan Sontag, As Consciousness is Harnessed to Flesh: Journals and Notebooks, 1964-1980 // D. H. Lawrence, The Plumbed Serpent // Jennifer S. Cheng, "So We Must Meet Apart" // Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart // Alice Oseman, Radio Silence // Franz Kafka, Letters to Felice

Thanks to @ladyliliana for tagging me! (And sorry for not getting back to you, I want to and I will! I am just a mess). 

Writing tag game

1. If you could go to one of your OC’s bachelor/bachelorette party, which would you choose? (also: who would have the wildest one?)

I would probably want to go to Soufre’s. She’s happy and fun and would make sure everyone had a great time without getting too crazy.  The wildest one would definitely be Copper, simply because he does not know the word ‘moderation’, nor can he handle his drink half as well as he thinks he does. 

2. What’s your favourite time of day to write?

I usually write whenever, in between other tasks. But if I have time, I prefer early afternoon, when I am well-rested and have a long day in front of me. 

3. What’s your favourite relationship in your WIP? (platonic or romantic)

In Elementary, I’d say either Soufre and Zinc or Bismuth and Fer. Soufre and Zinc are the most lovely and healthy couple I’ve ever written and I make it a point to have them stay that way the entire course of the story (their relationship is not the main focus anyway, they just love and support each other in the background). Bismuth and Fer are best friends and the ultimate raincloud-and-sunshine relationship. The will sit by the fire endless hours in the evenings and just talk. All the other Elements have grown used to falling asleep with their voices in the background. 

In Waterwegen, I love Paco and Mikel, who are two rowdy eleven year old boys that will literally follow each other to the end of the world (and steal each other’s ice-cream cones). I also love Josepe and Alba, father and daughter, because there is a lot wrong and complicated between them, but they try their best and they are fascinating to write. 

4. How far are you into your WIP?

About 1/4 for Elementary, and at the start of Waterwegen. I am trying! 

5. If you were stuck in a broken elevator for twelve hours, which OC would you choose to be stuck in there with you? (note: you have to be in there for the twelve hours. no Houdini escape)

Mercury! Clever, funny, passionate, into philosophy and art and with no qualms to talk hours on end. 

6. What’s your favourite colour?

All shades of blue. 

7. Where would one of your OCs propose to the other? (if this question isn’t up your alley, replace “propose to” with “surprise attack hug”)

Since I’ve already talked about their relationship: if Zinc was to propose to Soufre, he would do it in a clearing in the woods that he knows. He has collected wildflowers there before, to give it to her. 

Also, Soufre might surprise him and propose instead! She would do it on a normal evening, by the fire, surrounded by all of their friends. She’d love to see his surprise turn into excitement, and she would want to make him blush. 

(Zinc will definitely cry in either scenario).  

8. Which OC is most like you?

Probably my main character, Tungsten, because he is always conflicted between his fear of new people and the big world, and his longing to explore. He is scared of opening up but he craves his own found family. He is timid, but he still wants to be on stage. He is always fighting himself.  

9. Do you prefer writing with ambient noise, music (if so, with or without lyrics), or in silence?

Depends on my mood. I usually write with either soundtracks in the background (preferably fantasy ones), classical music or one song on repeat. Because I tend to read my work out loud, I also often work in silence. 

10. If you suddenly got the power of teleportation, where in the world would you go first?

I’d love to explore Sumatra and Java, or visit my friend in New Zealand! 

For Tin: If you've ever had any 'paranormal' experiences, which ones stand out the most? (Sorry if this is kinda irrelevant to the world, I'm not too familiar with your WiP yet so I don't know how prevalent paranormal occurrences are 😅)

Tin: I’ve never met a ghost, if that’s what you are asking. But I don’t see why everyone insists on hanging out in empty buildings and graveyards all the time. I prefer to not take the risk of getting into a fight with something I can’t shoot.(There is magic in my world, but this is not experienced as ‘paranormal‘ by the inhabitants. Though the paranormal does not really exist in this world, it is reffered to as ‘the occult‘ and some people do believe in it).

Markus Zusak - Bridge of Clay 

could u maybe find some quotes or poems about sibling dynamics and relationships?

Zadie Smith, On Beauty

Jacqueline Woodson, Weight

Holly Warburton, Sisters / Swim

Jazmine Hughes, from a conversation with Thora Siemsen

Anne Carson, Antigonick

Fleabag, Season 2 Episode 6

Alan R. Shapiro, Covenant

Jean Anouilh, Antigone

The first story has been written! It is about a forest and a pair of black riding boots. On top of that, let me reveal one more character:  Elliot, the ‘awkward apprentice’, has a talent for luring memories from objects. He has the gentleness and the patience that is required for so delicate a task. But sometimes Gabri worries about him. So many of these treasured objects come with memories of grieve, of lost lovers or lost friends or lost parents. And experiencing all that sadness and anger, even if it is secondhand? She is just not sure if he will have the stomach for it. 

So…  I am thinking of creating a podcast. It would kind of be like the Magnus Archives, in the sense that every episode is its own small story (and maybe connected to a larger frame?).  Only instead of horror, it’s urban fantasy, loosely inspired by Scottish mythology.  And instead of an Archivist, it is told by Gabri, a women in her early thirties running a small antique store. She uses magic to pull the memories from objects; memories she assembles, smooths out and collects.  Prepare for a lot of faeries, magic lore, awkward apprentices, extravagant antique-sellers, apparitions, foggy autumn feelings and summonings.  Would this be something you people would listen to? 

Eleven traumatized magicians long to leave society, unknowingly start a squad war and end up trying to save said society.

Describe your WIP in one sentence

Short Lesbian and overly dramatic man-child peacocking over innocent bisexual red head

I once wrote a fairytale where a girl lived on the border between two realms, and everytime she fucked something up, two princes came running down to save her. After about sixteen times, the princes decided to teach her how to fend for herself. Long story short, the princes fell in love with eachother and the girl got a sword. I feel this was some quality writing from 15 yo me.

Write me a story where the two guys in the love triangle give up on the girl and date each other.

musings on Spring

— Rainer Maria Rilke, The Selected Poetry of Rainer Maria Rilke | Pablo Neruda (?) | Louise Glück, Vita Nova | Alberto Caeiro, The Collected Poems of Alberto Caeiro | Vladimir Nabokov, Mary | Etel Adnan, Jebu | Virginia Woolf, A Writer’s Diary | Bangtan Sonyeondan (방탄소년단), 봄날 (Spring Day) | Artwork by Claude Monet

But this is a paradox, is it not? Because what is braver than admitting you are not brave? If you can’t face the truth in the mirror, at least you can face the truth right here, in this piece of text. You have shown us. You have told us writers -  scared, trembling, bold writers - that you are afraid to speak out. And in doing so, you have confronted us and yourself with such a vulnerable, honest thing. 

Maybe you cannot stand up to anyone (yet). Maybe you cannot raise your voice (yet). Maybe you cannot confront (yet). But you can write about it. You are doing it right now. You are giving us the murky depth of your heart and you are defying the norm by admitting your doubts.

Why do I write? Why do so many writers write? Because we see the things that are wrong - with the world, with ourselves. And we cannot speak about them. So we put them on paper. Instead of yelling, arguing, confronting, we create a story, a poem.

They say the pen in mightier than the sword. You just told us that you are not a fighting, sword-wielding knight. But you have used your pen, and you are most certainly a writer.

I am not bold

There are a lot of things a lot of people say about how to be a writer. Write every day, get published, get readers to love you, win awards and whatever. But for me there is one thing that all writers, actually all creative people, seem to have in common.

They are bold.

They defy the norm, they defy the conventions, they defy the universe itself.

Writers write from the murky awful depths of their hearts. This goes for all writers not just some genres. There is unique courage in writing a story that tears your own self apart. But they do it anyway and then they stitch themselves back together by writing more! 

Here’s my problem. I am not bold.

I am a coward. I would be the first to say that. I hate confrontation. I don’t ever point out anything wrong. I cannot stand up to anyone without having a complete panic attack. I cannot even stand in front of a mirror and face the truth of myself without my knees shaking. I stay quiet when people around me raise their voices. I stay quiet when saying something would mean something. I stay quiet even if my heart is breaking, especially when my heart is breaking.

I don’t confront. I don’t question. I don’t refuse.

This might be conditioning from my upbringing. This might be the weight of expectations thrown on me. Or this might just be who I am.

At the end of the day, all this means is that I pull back when I should write honestly. I step aside when I should forge on. I delete the words that must have stayed.

At the end of the day, I am not bold enough to be a writer. And I probably never will be.

Here is an aesthetic for Noah, composer and murder suspect, by @thewriterandthestoryteller. I hope you like it!