A Captain’s Love

normal AU except its just a series of reddit posts that all of sam and dean’s creeped out SOs inevitably end up writing once they realize that their boyfriend wants to die in his brother’s arms Notebook-style

NHL x text posts

Wara! 2023 - oil on canvas — Krzysztof Powałka (Polish, b.1985)

https://www.instagram.com/k.powalka_oilpaintings

the real reason I dislike cramps is not because they hurt, but because it feels as if something crawled under my skin and is manually moving my muscles. I don't want some weird cramp goblin rearranging my muscle strings.

look at these chemical romance doodles boy

Cart Mathieu. Blood. Photography

i actually really enjoy when people leave random objects in art galleries and people start treating them as if they're art. I think it puts people into a headspace where they start looking at normal objects differently and its an opportunity for them to realize that they can do this too outside of a gallery setting. You're not dumb or tricked for seeing something on the floor of a gallery and trying to figure it out or appreciating it as an art object. The world is full of beautiful and interesting objects even some random garbage on the street is worthy of that same level of examination. Theres art everywhere if you're primed to see it.

so i was reading a bunch of star wars fanfic (i have not actually watched star wars yet. shh.) and ruminating about how clearly the Jedi teachings have a serious disconnect between what they ostensibly mean (as a perfectly stable space philosophy based on a perfectly stable nonspace philosphy) and how they are presented, definitely irl (i.e. a number of people being like NO ATTACHMENTS?! NO EMOTIONS?! HOW CAN YOU NOT CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU GOVERN?! HAVE YOU NO COMPASSION?! when i am given to know that is in fact strictly incorrect) and presumably also in-universe because i have a very limited view of what exactly happened in Anakin’s head during Everything but popular consensus seems to be that There Was A Disconnect. and also possibly he needed therapy he maybe didn’t get, and also possibly that since the Jedi didn’t usually take in older initiates, they were legitimately unprepared to raise someone with different fundamental foundational ideas, even notwithstanding his specific circumstances.

*anyway*

then i jumped to reading a youjo senki fanfiction where Tanya was doing the ‘i believe strongly in the intensely rational and try not to let myself be ruled by emotions because that’s foolish and inefficient, what do you mean i am not always self aware about that’ thing. (i have personal interpretations of Tanya but they’re neither here nor there for the purposes of this thought.)

and then i made the connection of hey, what if post-life-as-Tanya she got yeeted into star wars? i mean you could also do some neat things with Salaryman getting yeeted directly there without being in youjo senki proper first, idk, but the main point is just… what sort of Jedi would Tanya be? because like her thing about ah yes we must not let emotions rule us, rational behaviour is the only way forward, *is* in direct opposition of any YOU MUST USE EMOTIONS TO FUEL THE DARK SIDE or whatever is going on there, like, that shit is something Tanya would be explicitly philosophically opposed to. (especially if she doesn’t have to go full magical doping into combat.)

on the other hand Tanya is… her decisions do not make her seem like an ideal Jedi, to the untrained eye. also while i personally interpet her even as Salaryman to have been neuroatypical as heck and therefore (mood) having a somewhat nonaverage experience with how emotions work, i feel also like there are some that she probably does just… not unpack properly? like, in a way that impedes inner peace and self-understanding or something, idk. which i feel like would be a quiet albatross around any potential Jedi teachings she may or may not absorb?

like i said idk, but mostly it would be interesting to explore the idea of how Tanya would react to getting isekai’d again, now into Star Wars, maybe as a baby Jedi. even notwithstanding how you could use her to fuck up the entire plot of Star Wars in basically any way you see fit, her relationship with the philosophical structure would be interesting to explore. also there are many ways you could append Being X to that superstructure, or, like, unappend him, and I think that would be neat.

I'm ready to let myself look for love