Mace: Some Padawans Might Have Gotten Into A Bar Brawl.

god. hades saying, "ask me for sanctuary" after percy talks about kronos hits like a truck when you remember that he tried to do the same for maria, bianca, and nico.

Bart, rushing in and scooping Tim up: GENEVA CHECKLIST GENEVA CHECKLIST!

Tim, smirking at Kon as Bart runs away: Ciao

Kon, horrified cause HE’S having to play reasonable cause Cassie is on vacation:

Someone was mean to Kon, you decide the extent

Tim: Hear me out, we kill him.

Kon: Isn't that against your code of ethics?!

Tim: It doesn't have to be

Bruce: you are grounded.

Tim, feral grin in place as he stands calmly from his seat: you owe me for my time as Robin~

Bruce:… fair. Have fun.

Bruce, looking up from his paperwork: Tim, no. Tim:, setting down his coffee, grin growing, looking towards someone who's pissing him off: Tim, yes.

Lol Tim somehow doesn’t notice for years until Damian is older AND bigger.

Bart: I was bored and reading about deities of the world,

Tim: as you do

Bart: yeah, and you know how Cassie is part Greek God?

Cassie: do I want to know where this is going?

Bart: do you think if we started giving her offerings and worshipping her she'd turn into a full Goddess?

Kon: don't know till we try! OH GODDESS! Accept my offering *throws gummies at Cassie*

Cassie: *smiling with a pack of gummies* you joke but I'm keeping these.

Tim: *not looking up from his phone* oh Goddess Cassie, please let us have a peaceful day.

Cissie: *walking into the room* ?

Kon: we're worshiping Cassie to see if we can make her a Goddess.

Cissie: oh ok, merciful and beautiful Goddess-

Cassie: *laughing*

Cissie: -please grant me knowledge on my next exam because SOMEONE *glares at all of them* keeps pulling me into Young Justice mission's and I haven't studied *drops down in a chair and tosses her a bracelet* my offering.

Cassie: *still laughing* knowledge granted.

You could always have the Watchers be like, supernspecfic with the pain they cause. Cause, like, gender and shit doesn't matter to floating eyes and if the players are too focused on if they presennt how they want, when will muder happen??

I love transgender headcanons as much as the next lad, but I have no idea how to make it work in my Lab AU without offending people. It's not like the Watchers will give them T (in fact they would probably take it away just to upset them. Because this whole gig is just a glorified angst farm)

I want a Tim who chips his team, admits it to their faces, and then says that if they ever die he’ll drag them back kicking and screaming from hell.

Tim Drake is usually called the smart Robin which I like don't get me wrong but all of the bats are smart and I do love my Tim but my Tim is just a bit different.

I want Tim drake half out of his mind fucking with Lex Luthor while he chugs 6 monsters. I want baby stalker who was heavy breathing putting together a red string murder board at 3:00 am with very sketchy stalker pictures of the Wayne's.

I want titans tower where Tim knew it was Jason and is about to home alone that shit. While also internally fanboying and giving Jason tips on how to murder the joker.

Tim Drake who doesn't get disturbed by Ra on Tuesday cause he knows Tim has plans with young Justice and Tim will destroy all of his bases again if he is bothered.

Tim who thought Damian was adorable and everytime he makes an attempt on his life gets a new paint set because that is the Drake way and no little brother of his isn't gonna understand premeditated murder.

TIM Drake who owns up to the clones and the boy who Kon knows is a little murdery gremlin and loves that about his boyfriend.

My Tim drake need to be balls to the wall fucking insane or I don't want that shit.

I might use this. Oh my god. I’m going to use this for my Damian and Tim time travel thing.

Red Hood comes back and everything's the same except Bruce doesn't realise that while Jason's still pissed at him, it's more of a familial feud than it is a genuine casting himself away from the family forever. Jason's under the impression that what's going on between him and B is just normal teenage rebellion- after all, Dick basically did the same shit when they were younger, he remembers sitting on top of the stairs and listening to the arguments, hell he remembers eating popcorn while stood in the middle of a couple of them. they're a family of fucked up vigilantes, it makes sense to him that their father-son brawls are just as dramatic as the rest of their lives.

after the rooftop showdown where Bruce saves the Joker he gets into the batmobile, slightly depressed that he has to go back home and tell Alfred that he failed oh so spectacularly at convincing Jason to come home and probably actually made things a 100% worse and oh god when he finds out about the batarang-

Red Hood opens the passenger door and gets into the car

Jason: jesus christ B are you THAT fucking stubborn? YOU ALMOST DECAPITATED ME WITH THAT THING

Bruce:

Jason: whatever. actually, don't fucking talk to me. I'm not continuing this until next patrol where trust me I WILL be shooting you in the neck.

Bruce: ...w-

Jason: CAN YOU HURRY UP AND FUCKING DRIVE ALREADY? Jesus it's fucking freezing out and the heater isn't even on!

Bruce has absolutely no fucking clue what's going on. He continues to stare in the very rare Batman Bafflement that only his kids have ever managed to get out of him.

Is Jason... coming home with him?

He's so shocked at the sudden turn of events, so scared of flinching slightly in the wrong direction and ruining whatever the fuck convinced his son to actually get in the car with him, that he decides in a moment of pure panic to not question it. He turns the car on, silently turns on the heater, and proceeds to white knuckle the steering wheel and stiffly drive back to the manor, terrified that even breathing too loud will disrupt the way the Red Hood is spitefully messing with the radio station until it's playing Bruce's least favourite station at a way-too-loud volume.

when they get home Jason flips Bruce off and goes straight to the kitchen, dishing himself up some food from the dinner table with a couple of casual greeting grunts as if everyone isn't staring at him in shock and awe. Bruce comes in behind him and shrugs helplessly. Dick's face has gone white, and he's clutching his glass so hard it's started to splinter in his hands. Tim's the only person who manages to get past it all, blinking up at Jason's massive hulking frame.

Tim: I thought you hated us now

Jason: *eating, gives a questioning hum*

Tim: you keep fighting with Batman

Jason: yeah, fuck batman. I'm so pissed at him right now

Bruce: h-

Jason: Shut the fuck up I'm still mad at you.

Jason, to Tim: it's family tradition to hate Bruce and strike out on your own. Doesn't mean I shouldn't be allowed Alfie's impeccable cooking.

Tim:

Tim: ...you also tried to kill me

Jason: you replaced me as Robin. an attempt on your life is also family tradition. Dick tried to kill me a month after I took up the mantle

Tim:

Dick, so exasperated it breaks him out of his shock: oh come on, it was not a murder attempt-

Jason, slamming his fist on the table: I HAVE A PEANUT ALLERGY AND YOU TRIED TO FEED ME A SNICKERS BAR!

Dick: FOR THE LAST TIME I DIDN'T KNOW-

Bruce, desperate: boys-

Jason, whirling around: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT TALKING TO ME?

Bruce:

Jason: oh that reminds me. hey Alfred? guess what B did like twenty minutes ago.

Alfred: ..?

Bruce: Jaylad please-

Jason: he threw a batarang at my neck.

Alfred:

Bruce:

Alfred: master Bruce-

Bruce quite honestly would have preferred it if Jason was a villain instead of a rebellious teen.

the batkids will deliberately get jason into their favorite pieces of media so he’ll write fanfiction for it.

dick discovered this strategy when he forced jason to watch one of his favorite shows with him. he’d totally forgotten that the show ended on a cliffhanger before it was cancelled, but rewatching it brought back that feeling of dissatisfaction he had the first time around. so dick opens up the ao3 tag for the show and to his surprise, there’s a brand new fic addressing every single loose end, complete with beautiful prose and amazing characterization. dick practically weeps. it’s only when he realizes some of the things in the fic match up with the rants jason had during their watch of the show that he has barbara confirm his suspicions about who the author is.

somehow everybody but jason gets wind of this and they’re taking unashamed advantage of it. the next time they see a movie together, stephanie leans over to jason to whisper about the romantic potential between two characters. she gets like three fics for her ship out of that. when jason goes outside, barbara switches electronic billboards and redirects taxis with ads for her favorite show. and of course, every targeted ad on his phone and computer are for the same show. when he finally gives in and watches it, barbara ends up with plenty of content to get her through the between seasons break.

everybody in jason’s family is subscribed to the ao3 account that he doesn’t know they know he has. one day, they’re all chilling in the library, and at the same time jason publishes his latest fic (for a movie bruce of all people was very insistent he watch), everybody’s email notifications go off. he narrows his eyes suspiciously. “just some wayne enterprises stuff.” “got a package delivered.” “what’s an email?”

it’s fine. he’ll let them get away with it. besides, he does the same thing to damian to get fanart out of him.

I’d read this. Any fics? Feed me! Feed me please! I haven’t had a new fixation in months and I’m starting to panic

Fuckign uhhhh,,,,au where Quentin gets a little too chummy with the Legion and the Entity ends up vibe checking him and changing his role to that of a killer. So he has Feral Frenzy.

Frank is thrilled. Quentin is horrified.

Fox: Quin annoyed me today so I told him I can't wait to see what he has planned for our special day tomorrow.

Cody: But there's nothing special about tomorrow and you hate pompous displays of affection

Fox: No, but there is something special about watching the color leave his face as panic sets in

Cody: Kriff