Jaskier As Taylor Swift Yes It Makes Total Sense And I Love It But Also Consider

Witcher fanfic

“Butch” and “butcher” sound a lot alike and Getalt has always been one to take things the wrong way

Batfamily *trying to free mer Danny and failing* : we can never let Aquaman know about this

Penguin was getting a new shipment today. It was supposedly going to be something to revolutionize entertainment at the Iceberg Lounge. Of all the things he anticipated this "new entertainment" being, he never would have thought it'd a boy chained up in a tank.

Okay okay okay kindred theater kids yes but hear me out!

If they jumped into a different dimension imagine those musicals don’t even exist in DC?!!! So they just don’t explain, commit to the bit!!! And hey Danny doesn’t want to a hero anyway! This is a great cover story so that maybe he’d be left alone for once! (Cue Constantine panic lol.)

Also like hey! What Sam does with her life is her business!!!

Maybe they let Jason in on it after finding out he’s liminal and Jason is ecstatic! A whole other universe filled with unseen musicals!

Or maybe the musicals only exist in amity- feels like a place that would have Beetlejuice as a popular story lol!

Danny tucker and sam are board in their new Gotham apartment so with nothing to do they deside the most logical course of action

They reenacted the song say my name from beetlejuice the musical now they didn't really mean any harm just casual theatre teen fun

Too bad the bats only see a girl about to jump and 3 spectres offering help (one possibly a demon trying to get the girl to invoke his name 3 times)

Battinson the only Batman too 100% take to Tims coddling!

I mean he can’t really stop the kid.

Tim says he has to sleep? Well okay.

Tim says he beat that guy up too much? Well okay.

Tim says he needs to eat more? …. Okay but Tim need to eat with him.

Tim goes back to his own place… well Tim’s not actually his kid…. He’s gonna text him anyway.

Wait where are his parents??? Shit. Tims his now, tim chose him!

Tim try’s to be unhealthy independent and battison just cries. He’s not sure how but this is obviously his fault!!

say what you will about Battinson, he would never hurt a child.

he would frantically try to bubble wrap each and every one of them. he probably carries snacks for kids he meets on patrol.

Diana was shocked, hurt and elated all at once! “Your grandmother is Pandora?! I did not know that she even had a child! I am ecstatic to meet you Konstelacio. Oh my I call you cousin?” This was it! as far apart as the separation between Pandora and Themyscia may be Diana would take any family she could. The loneliness of childhood gnawed at her.

“Oh no! I’m not Pandoras Grandchild!” The girl crossed and uncrossed her arms into an X to show her dismissal, “She is a good mentor! And a wonderful family confidant! If anything she’s like my Nanny.”

Constantine began to sweat buckets.

Diana shouted, “Wait…is Pandora…” lips thinned.

“A ghost ? Yes”

- Tim stared at Konstelacio, she had begun to breathe deeply, averting her eyes from Wonder Woman, feet shuffling together. She was exhibiting shame. And Tim understood the feeling well, that you were too unworthy to even be held in comparison to someone else. Someone whose shoes you could never even dream of filling. “Do Demons have grandmas?” Uhhh speedsters.

“Yes”

“That’s so cool! Who’s yours?”

“I don’t know.”

Oh oh those golden eyes looked tired. As tired as Jason’s eyes had been after his first gala, Dick thought. They may have both been adopted but Jason was treated to so much contempt being from the streets, so much fake pity. /Oh poor kid doesn’t even know who his mom is./Dick knew Jason hated it all.

“I’m sorry!”

“It’s okay. It doesn’t matter.”

/It doesn’t matter Dick! Just drop it!/ the eldest robin frowned.

Damian tsked, “What about your parents? I would suppose even monsters need those? Also landing community service instead of some harsher punishment must mean you have some connection to authority in your ‘realm’ no?”

The little girl grinned, “Yes something like that.”

She has nearly everyone in the room duped, Constantine side eyed the Bats nearly. He knew that smile; a tad too wide eyes, a fraction to tight smile, the inexplicable about of understanding and kindness up until this point… this was the grin of a con artist.

- “I know quite a lot of important people! Why Pandora herself is my nanny! And my supervisor is my uncle.”

“Tsh- is that not a conflict of interest?”

“Doesn’t matter,” John wished he was allowed to smoke in space, “No more wasting time, now that we know you can help us what’s your price?”

“Hhhuuu what? Oh the price for the antidote will have to come later, after all you technically aren’t getting it from me. I’ll have to ask nanna and whoever else decides to help what the want. It’s only fair.”

“We see,” Batman’s low tone sounded. “And the dragon-“

Her hand stuck out shyly, “Tips are always welcomed tho…after all I am still providing a service.”

“We don’t …”

“It takes me a lot of energy and time to help you mortals so much. I’m so tired already.”

Batman’s mouth stilled, “We-“

A blur of red, “Oh are you hungry? Do you need anything? Let me get you a chair, snacks..”

“No no chair! Nothing is going threw that circle !” Constantine yelled, “Do you have any idea what could happen!”

“She’s a child!”

“She’s a demon!”

“Constantine is right.”

“Bats you can’t be serious, just look at her?”

“Flash we know your intentions are in the right place but we just can’t risk it! We also can’t risk not clearly defining what she considers a tip.” Zatanna signed how long have they been here, the girl looked harmless enough but something about her made her skin crawl.

“A favor would be nice! Especially from the red one!”

“See who knows what she could end up asking for.”

“Oh I see I’m sorry,” she looked down dejected, “ I do suppose no one carries favors for ladies around anymore hhhmmm and none of you have handkerchiefs? Awww”

“Why would you want something like that ?!?” Diana was horrified, her to be cousin was a child! No men, man, demon should be giving her favors to begin a courtship! “Flash!”

“Oh no no I wasn’t defending you to-“

“I know I know I just wanted one from you cuz you were nice to me.”

“That’s still doesn’t explain why you would ask for a favor as a tip?” Diana looked as the girl flushed in embarrassment. “I -I -I just want one to show my friends that’s all just to prove that I could get one that’s all! Uummmm cousin???” She hesitated regretful as soon as the word had come out.

“Oh I see are your friends giving you a hard time? Well I say the only one that would be appropriate to give you such a thing would be Robin… the youngest that is.”

The bats looked back at Damian oh dear lord sweat god don’t -

“Tch- here.”

Oh

Damian tossed a handkerchief towards the circle. “You just carry a handkerchief with you?” “Of course I do I’m not a heathen unlike you Drake.”

The toss was barely thrown in her direction when it disappeared entirely. “Where…”

“No worries I just put it in my inventory. Now then I’ll be on my way.”

“Wait!”

“Huh?” Big doe eyes blinked up at them all in confusion.

“The dragon! What about that thi- guy.” Hal scruffed out.

The girl brightened up, “Oh you don’t have to pay me anything for that! After all Aragon the one that broke his patrol. So I’m sure as soon as I send my report someone will come deal with it eventually.”

“Eventually?!” Hal’s hand hit the table, who was this kid?

“Well yes, tons of reports go in everyday! It is the INFINITE realms after all! Who knows when they’ll get to yours.” She shrugged as if it was all just a matter of convenience as if that very dragon haven’t terrorized and destroyed lives throwing its tantrum.

Superman chewed his lip, as this meeting contributed to drag on he had no doubt Aragon would continue to destroy everything in its path. “Wait what about your connection, surely you know someone that can help ? What about your supervisor uncle ?” Clark needed this to stop, he couldn’t even land a punch on this guy. Nothing worked and he was already weak to magic. This has to stop.

“Well I suppose I can but it’ll cost you.”

“Wait just a minute!”

“Do we even have anything you want?” Clark raked his mind over ideas in his head, for a tip all she had wanted was a handkerchief an old school way of showing off to her friends like any normal girl. “We don’t have much but I’m sure we could think of something???”

“It’s okay Mr. Superman.” Konstelacio lite up “I’ll just take something you mortals don’t really think about hhhmmm something small.”

Hal sighed as he leaned back, “You sure we can’t just give her a dog?”

“Ugh fuck this mate I need a light,” forget not being allowed to smoke up here all these idiot we’re getting on John’s last nerve, “Ugh drat! I could have sworn I had my lighter in my pocket.”

“Oh you mortals losing things in your own pocket. Oh that’s what I want in return!”

“A lighter? Smoking is -“

“I want your pockets.”

“What do you mean?”

The devil grinned, “Your pockets, empty them.”

#@starkcravingmad

Me and my brother debating whether or not Barney is Baby Boop and BJs Dad???

Writing Prompt: #1

As far as the other races are concerned “pinky promises” are super serious.

Tilda was crying, clinging to Thranduil’s robes.

Tilda: No! Your not allowed to leave!

Thranduil: Tilda please don’t cry I -

Tilda: But what if you die! What if you leave and never comeback!

Thranduil: Tilda sweetheart I promise to do all in my power to return as quickly as I can.

She extended her little finger out to him: Pinky promise

Thranduil: A what?

Tilda grabbed his hand gently wrapping her finger around his then shaking it: Now promise and it has to come true!

———

And Thranduil returned within the month.

Writing Prompt

Imagine elves have no concept of food poisoning? - Except for like literal poison!

Bard retching, sweaty, face red and making the most pitiful of noises.

Thranduil running out of the room: Get a healer!

Singrid popping her head in and taking one look at her dad: Oh no need he’s fine!

Thranduil: Even so we should still...

Singrid: He’s fine he just has food poisoning again.

Thranduil: Poisoning! .... AGAIN!!!!!

I love Frostbite but Vlad and his cloning is right there XD especially cuz he owes Danny big time

Vlad: I’m not going to make your new brother a spleen

Danny: oh wow that’s disappointing almost as disappointing as (insert awful thing vlad did)

Vlad: …. Fine

He could overlook a lot of things, but this was getting ridiculous. You’d think seasoned vigilantes would have better excuses prepared, but Danny had caught that flash of panic that crossed Tim’s face as Danny came face to face with Tim dragging an unconscious Steph to her designated room in the manor.

“Uh.”

“Danny! Uh, Stephanie brained herself- uh, sliding down the bannisters and- pleasedon’ttellBruce.”

Danny blinks, staring at Tim and then very pointedly, very slowly, turned his head back towards the direction he came from: the main hall… where the bannisters were. He wonders what vigilante hijinks they were trying to hide from B this time.

Tim coughs, trying to inch Stephanie away. “Uh. She was doing… cartwheels?”

Danny let his eyes slowly take in the bruises that were clearly not from “cartwheeling in the mansion” on the both of them. There’s a huge bandaged cut on Steph’s forearm and a giant bruise on the edge of Tim’s jaw. Tim’s face twitches nervously, not that anyone else would have noticed- except Danny has enhanced ghost senses and could feel the panic coming off of his adopted brother.

“You know…” Shit, what does he do? Not knowing would be so much easier if these idiots gave him good excuses! “I don’t think I want to know what you two have been up to… but should I be worried for your, uh, physical health?”

“Nope!”

“… Okay.” He says. Tim opens his mouth to make further excuses but Danny adds quickly, “But don’t tell me, because if Bruce asks, I want plausible deniability.”

Cartwheels, Danny’s ghostly ass. Luckily, this show of doubt reaffirms Tim’s belief that Danny believes them all of the other times. Danny grins inwardly, planning capitalizing on the guilt that flashed over Tim’s face.

“Deal.”

“Want help?” The halfa points at Steph, who’s still being dragged over the carpet by a noodle armed Tim. Danny knows Tim’s strong, he’s a vigilante, but it’s funny watching him pretend to struggle.

“Please. I’m so tired right now.” He looks it too. Danny’s brows furrow with genuine concern when he takes in Tim’s drowned raccoon look. He picks up Steph, firmly removing her from Tim’s suddenly weak grip. Being careful to avoid her injuries, Danny nods at the door to her room. Tim cracks it open and does a little showy gesture towards the inside.

“C’mon, we’ll tuck her in and then I’ll tuck you in.”

“What, you don’t have to do that.”

“If you don’t let me tuck you in and make sure you sleep, I’ll tell Alfred who really accidentally poured boiling hot coffee on his azaleas last week. And I’ll sic Dick on you and tell him you haven’t been sleeping enough.”

“You drive a hard bargain,” Tim grumbles. “But fine. It’s really not my fault I’m this tired. A missing spleen is hard to handle, you know.”

“Yeah, missing an organ sucks,” Danny says, shit eating grin hidden long enough to catch the contemplative bloodhound look that passes over Tim’s face.

“Which- uh, which one of your organs is missing?”

“Liver.” Danny says, remembering the flashes of pain. He tilts his head away to hide the grin at Tim’s panicked face.

When he tucks Tim in, he pretends to believe Tim’s sleeping act and left his room while mumbling about the Wayne’s clumsiness and bruises and stocking up on bruise cream. He couldn’t even enjoy Tim’s floundering, this time, worried as he is.

——

“Brother.” Danny half turns his head, just to beam a sunny smile at Cass. He signs an exuberant hello. The halfa hangs up his coat as he addresses his adopted sister.

“Cass! What’s up?”

“Dinner.” She smiles back, signing that Alfred wanted them to the dinning room post haste. The main dining room, because rich people were fruit loops and Batman is totally included. Cassandra looks down and gasps.

What…?

Oh. Fuck. Danny glances down. He genuinely forgot about that.

“Huh.”

“Okay?” Suddenly, Cass is right next to him, hand reached out and hovering over the actual knife Danny forgot was sticking out of him. At least it’s where his liver should be, so he won’t have to pretend.

“Oh. Yeah, I’m good. Don’t have a liver.” Danny decides on the spot that he’s not gonna mess with Cass. She smiled the same as him. “Got mugged on the way back but I think they said I could keep the knife, right?”

“Danny.” She’s frowning at him. He feels like he just kicked tiny Cujo. But he doesn’t feel bad enough to blurt everything out.

“Here. You can have it if you want?” Danny casually pulls out the knife and holds the wound together with his bare hands. Cass looks more alarmed. She bodily picks up Danny and starts running.

“Woah!”

Cass throws him at Alfred, gently.

“Miss Cassandra! Why, I never-!” Alfred pauses in surprise.

“Uh. Wow, Cass. You’re really strong.” Danny pipes up, hand still over his gushing wound.

She ignores him, pointing at Danny and telling Alfred, “Hurt. Got mugged. Dumb.”

“Hey! It’s not my fault Gothamites are ready to jump people at any moment. Besides, it’s daytime. It’s not like the vigilante furries are out to save my butt. I think I did really well coming back safe, you know?”

“Hurt. Forgot the knife. Was in him.”

“Master Danny!”

Danny pouts. He also knows there’s a discreet camera in the corners of the sitting room, so he’s definitely hoping he could phase into the cave when Barbara eventually tells the group that he called them “vigilante furries.”

Alfred clucks his tongue and set to work patching him up. Danny tries not to bask in the careful way Alfred tended to his wounds. It reminds him too much of Jazz, if Jazz was British and a man with greying hair.

But because they were watching him and he was watching them in return, Danny noticed the moment Alfred’s hands stalled and Cass’ gaze got intense. What now…?

Oh, fuck, his vivisection scar. Oops. Danny smiled, channeling Dani (his lovely clone sister) at her most innocent.

Cass smiled back, just as sunnily, fists tightening at her side in repressed fury.

——

“Cass? Why’d you call us?”

“Yeah, baby bat. I got a couple o’ smugglers to talk to.”

Cass paces.

“What is it, Cassandra?” Damian tuts impatiently.

“Danny. Has… scars. Autopsy. But was struggling. When cut.”

“What.”

“A vivisection, Master Jason.” Alfred’s voice was crisp and eerily cold. His hands are folded, rage only held back by his sheer will and a well practiced sense of propriety.

“We find. Who hurt him,” Cass snarls. “We. End.”

Jason’s eyes glint green, hands going to his guns. “Fine. By. Me.”

“It does tie in with the dead comment. I wonder what happened to him.” Tim clacks away at the bat computer, furiously looking into the matter already. Bruce has taken to prowling, stressed out at the prospect of one more of his children- not a vigilante at that- getting hurt the way Jason had. Worse, even. A vivisection. He was alive, dissected. Aware enough to struggle. Dick looked like he was torn about hunting down and lunging at whoever hurt Danny to rip their throats out with his bare teeth versus the urge to go back up to the manor and wrap Danny in bubble wrap.

In the corner, Danny was having a quiet breakdown because he came here to watch them react to vigilante furries, not offering to murder the people who vivisection him. What the fuck?? He ran his hands through his hair, invisible.

——

“Oh, by the way, we should consider more daytime shifts.”

“Why?” Spoiler asks Barbara.

“Danny got mugged. And called us the nightly furries.”

“The fuckin’ what-?” Jason chokes out, laughing. Bruce stops his pacing, body language becoming slightly offended.

Danny muffles a laugh only Alfred would have heard.

Gandalf folds clothes for Frodo

Frodo undoes it and shoved it in a bag

DM: he just folded it all nice for you!!!