I Like How Most Of Them Sound Incredulous Ichimatsu's The One Who's Gay

i like how most of them sound incredulous ichimatsu's the one who's gay

like they're fine with it, ichimatsu just did not tick the gaydar hard enough

pov ichimatsu comes out to his brothers

Matsuno Osomatsu as a Vent Regressor

CW: heavy angst, vent regression/regression through trauma, PTSD, referenced child abuse (y'all remember Tougou, right?), breakdowns, dissociation, masking, alcohol, swearing

This is very much not typical comforting age regressor content. Find some lighter headcanons in my comfort post!

Osomatsu's regression is involuntary and ugly, and he doesn't even realize he does it.

It's rooted in a twisted mix of complicated emotions and trauma, built on the abuse he experienced as a child from the Tougou incident and painted with the crushing expectations of being the eldest Matsuno brother. His brothers all rely on him in their own way, but after all is said and done, who's left for him to rely on?

Even though he has no idea what regression is, Osomatsu recognizes the vulnerability that comes with the headspace. He doesn't want his brothers to know their Onii-chan is struggling so much and keeps it to himself. He's gotten really good at covering up his slips and strategically excusing himself before he breaks down.

Osomatsu regresses squarely to 10 years old—the age he was when the Tougou incident occurred—and he usually plummets into the headspace when he's triggered by past trauma or buckling under the pressure of being a responsible big brother.

This culminates in vivid nightmares and ugly sob sessions, usually hidden away from his brothers where they can't see his weakness. He'll hide in the bedroom closet while his brothers are goofing around downstairs, or the bathroom while his brothers sleep, curl up on the floor, and bawl to the empty room that he doesn't want to be the eldest anymore. He feels so small and vulnerable and helpless, and he doesn't know how to handle it. He wants to be babied and protected for a change.

But he can't. He has to be strong, because he's a big boy and he has to be brave to keep his little brothers safe.

Or Tougou will find out.

And Tougou will be mad.

And Tougou will hurt him.

Or Tougou will hurt them.

When he finally cries himself out, he stays a while longer to collect himself. He dries his tears and mutters half-baked reassurances to himself, trying to be his own Nii-chan.

It doesn't help much. He hopes it doesn't fall this flat when he reassures his brothers.

Not all of his slips into regression are so violent and messy, but even the quiet ones aren't much better. They come with heavy dissociation, brain fog, and anxiety he can't quite explain as he struggles to think and do simple tasks.

He's usually pretty good at playing it off as his usual goofy nature—or maybe it’s just the booze—pretending he's fine like he did back when he was little.

But if his brothers paid enough attention, they might notice how passive he gets, or the ways he seems to blank out, staring at nothing for a moment too long before being brought back by their shenanigans or a call of his name.

Nobody seems to notice. It's easy to slip under the radar when you're just one of six unruly NEETs, and Osomatsu would prefer to keep it that way. He's the eldest, after all. He can handle it. He's an adult for fuck's sake.

They shouldn't have to worry about him.