Shout Out To All The People Still Following Me Even Though Im A Fucking Idiot

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

I love it when pre Original Trilogy era shows how much effort went into making the Death Star. It took decades, literal decades, and it took so much money and so many people and it was such a secretive thing and it’s staffed by millions because it’s the size of a small moon.

I cannot express how much all of the added information makes it so much funnier that Luke blew it up.

Luke destroys literally everything Palpatine built. He blows up the Death Star, which was referenced in universe as early as the second movie. He blew up the weapon of mass destruction twenty years in the making. And he blew it up pretty much directly after it’s first and only successful attack. It was operational for fifteen minutes, fifteen minutes that Palpatine had the thing he’d been building for longer than Luke has been alive, and Luke blows it up. First day retirement, but first hour retirement.

Luke convinces Darth Vader to turn back to the light side, a feat thought literally impossible by literally everybody. Sidious clearly doesn’t see Vader’s betrayal coming. Vader’s betrayal was not in his plans, nor was it something he was prepared for. Sidious is a powerful Force user with all four limbs while Vader is a man in the tin can Palpatine put him in. If Palpatine had seen Vader turning coming, he would not have allowed it to happen.

Luke literally should not even be alive. Palpatine almost definitely got Padme out of the way on purpose, and he almost certainly was trying for her unborn child as well (there was way too big of a risk that a cute liddol bebe would bring some humanity back to Anakin, and Palpatine did not want Anakin to have any humanity) Luke living is literally the first step in Palpatine’s ultimate downfall, especially once Vader finds out that Luke is his son. His very alive son. His son that is not dead, despite Palpatine claiming Anakin killed Padme. Implying that Anakin killed Padme and she posthumously gave birth. But, she didn’t give birth on Mustafar, which was the last place Anakin interacted with her. And once the mother dies, you have to get those fuckers out fast or they die too.

I imagine Darth Vader piecing all of this together is that meme with all the math floating around his head, because how could Padme have died by his hand and then given birth like two hours later?

Luke killing Palpatine is what ultimately leads to the dissolution of the Empire as an omnipotent entity. Luke killed the Empire. Luke spends a good amount of his adult life killing Empire remnants. We see that in the Mandalorian, since he’s so recognizable that Gideon immediately knows he’s fucked just by seeing an X-wing. We read it in Legends’ continuity, where Luke terrifies Imperials because he can walk into their changing room and stand in their for a minute and they don’t even notice.

Luke destroyed Palpatine’s life’s work. Everything Palpatine spent his whole life working towards, and Luke kills all of it. He blows up not one, but two Death Stars (he may not have pulled the trigger on the second Death Star, but without him, it never would have been destroyed). He convinces not one, but multiple Sith and Dark Jedi to return from the Dark Side. He is the only reason that Obi-Wan Kenobi, the biggest pain in Palpatine’s ass ever born, lives long enough to make it to the Death Star.

Palpatine went through so much effort. And just when he had finally won, when he finally had a weapon capable of destroying entire planets with a single blast, making it impossible for any planets or peoples to go against him, Luke shows up nineteen years late to the Jedi party with space Starbucks and a droid twice his age and almost singlehandedly destroys everything Palpatine ever had a hand in creating.

Luke manages to become even worse than Obi-Wan Kenobi, the ultimate thorn in the side of politicians, and Luke doesn’t even understand any politics. He wasn’t trained in diplomacy like Obi-Wan and Leia, no, he’s a farmboy who left home for the first time in his entire life, just this morning. And he is the one to destroy the Empire.

If they rewrote Star Wars and had it entirely from Palpatine’s perspective, Luke Skywalker would be his greatest foe. Luke Skywalker would be the final boss. Luke Skywalker is the antithesis of everything Palpatine believes in and he is the one character that Palpatine cannot predict. He isn’t as moldable as Anakin, he doesn’t respond to threats very well, he’s apparently impossible to kill via Force lightning (still the funniest scene of all times, the progression of Palpatine’s face falling and him looking like “what the fuck??? Is this kid rubber??? I’ve electrocuted him eight times???”), his unwavering faith in his father’s goodness makes Darth Vader want to be a better person, Luke Skywalker is the big bad of Palpatine’s story and—

There is nothing in this world that is funnier than someone’s biggest antagonist being Luke fucking Skywalker. Luke Skywalker, who saved the galaxy with the power of love and who shouldn’t exist, by Jedi rules and by Palpatine’s own attempts, and whose best friends are literally droids, which Palpatine canonically hates!

Everything about this is hilarious, this is the funniest thing in all of media, Palpatine loses absolutely everything to some backwater farmboy who fucking likes droids.

Do you think Dick ever, in his early days as Robin, scared a criminal that punched him, by using the fact that he still had baby teeth?

Just, imagine the situation:

Dick has a baby tooth that is about to fall, which is normal considering he is still a small child.

He's outside as Robin, in the middle of a fight.

So, a thief, thug, or any helper of a villain, is in a fight with him, the guy is still hesitant to hit a child, even if said child is just beating him up.

Then, out of pure luck, he lands a blow to the boy's jaw.

Dick immediately steps back, more than because of the punch, it is simply to get distance, but then, he feels his baby tooth come loose, and he immediately spits it out, with a little blood, of course.

For less than half a second, Dick considers just throwing it away and moving on, but notices just in time the horrified face of the guy he's fighting.

And Dick just knows he simply can't miss the opportunity.

What does he do? He starts crying.

And the poor guy who was fighting him knows he's extremely screwed when he doesn't even need to turn around to know he's got bat-dad behind him.

jokes on you, i'm all of the above!

"people who stay up at night are either insomniac or In love" people who stay up at night read gay fanfiction on AO3 what are you on about?

Alpha-17 and Obi-Wan being friends (derogatory) on 17's part and friends (threatening) on Obi-Wan's part is such an underrated dynamic

They could be so funny and terrifying, like Obi-Wan went through a soul shredding experience with Alpha-17 as his only company. They're friends because what else are you gonna be after you witness each other at absolute rock bottom from torture.

It's like 'dog put in cage of cheetah who's threatening to go crazy', except the dog is a grizzly bear and also threatening to go crazy.

Emotional support trooper except the trooper in question has never done any sort of supporting in his life and is actively an emotional distress trooper to a great number of the CC batch.

I want them texting everyday, I want Obi-Wan mailing handmade BFF bracelets to Alpha and Alpha sending pics back of him flipping off the camera but still wearing them, I want Alpha using Obi-Wan to keep track of and occasionally terrorize his cadets, I want 17 ending problems in the GAR (like Krell) before they begin because Obi-Wan has him shipped out on a personal transport at the first opportunity, decked out with slug-throwers Obi-Wan got him for his decant-day.

Natborn officers think this is all just an odd indulgence of General Kenobi, the Vode, however, correctly identify it as a goddamn threat and their danger assessment of Obi-Wan ticks up significantly.

When Alpha arrives on Kamino, Shaak Ti presses a shiny new comm into his hand. It has the Jedi Order symbol painted onto it alongside a smiley face sticker, and it pings immediately with a new message: Hello! I hope you're settling in well!

Alpha stares at the message, stares at the singular contact named 'OWK' and then stares Shaak Ti in the eye as he pitches the comm straight into the ocean. Shaak Ti's serene smile only grows larger as she calmly reaches into her robes and pulls out an identical comm, only this one has a frowny face sticker, and presses it into his hand. It lights up: I'm afraid we've bonded, Alpha :). Alpha shuts it off and pockets it with resignation.

Cody arrives on Alpha-17's personal recommendation.

A-17: He's the most difficult little bastard I have. You're perfect for each other. OWK: Thank you, he's very handsome :3 A-17: No. Stop.

The first thing he asks once he gets comfortable is who his general is texting so much that has him swinging his legs and twirling his hair. Cody assumes it's Anakin, given they seem joint at the hip anyway, but little does he know Obi-Wan's ability to consistently have the Weirdest Relationships Ever.

"Oh, it's Alpha-17, I understand you're familiar with each other?" Hmm. OK. Cody.exe is experiencing a processing error, please hold. He exits the room instead of answering. The next day he peeks over the General's shoulder when he's texting and sees walls of rambling messages from Obi-Wan. Alpha-17 replies every hour with a single text: Lose this number. Obi-Wan giggles. "He's so funny." he says.

When Obi-Wan meets the rest of the CC batch, Cody makes sure to stand perfectly angled so that he can record the reactions when his general cuts off their introductions with "Oh, no need, Alpha-17's told me all about you." It's always immediate FEAR.JPG followed by a slow spiral of What The Fuck.

What do you mean by that General. What does that mean Cody. What do you mean they text. No. Cody. What the fuck is happening, Cody. Alpha-17 doesn't have friends he has enemies and enemies he tolerates enough not to shoot on sight.

OWK: Wolffe reached for his vambrace? when I mentioned you A-17: That's where he keeps his spare knife. OWK: Hm that does explain the way he eyed me up, ambitious. A-17: Clearly not enough, he should have followed through. I taught them better.

I have like three essays and two personal statements to write for different college applications, and an AP Essay, and an online Precalc assessment. I should not be on tumblr right now, but \_(·_·)_/ It’s my life and no one else is going to make these mistakes for me.

I need to be writing. I need to be getting dressed. I need to get my sister ready for school. I need to eat breakfast. I need to clean my room. I need to fold my clothes.

I am scrolling through tumblr instead.

Random linguistic worldbuilding: A language with six sets of pronouns, which are set by one's current state of existence. There's a separate pronoun for people who are alive, people who are dead, and potential future people who are yet to be born, and the ambiguous ones of "may or may not be alive or aleady dead", "may or may not have even been born yet", and the ultimate general/ambiguous all-covering one that covers all ambiguous states.

The culture has a specific defined term for that tragic span of time when a widow keeps accidentally referring to their spouse with living pronouns. New parents-to-be dropping the happy surprise news of a pregnancy by referring to their future child with the "is yet to be born" pronoun instead of a more ambiguous one and waiting for the "wait what did you just say?" reactions.

Someone jokingly referring to themselves with the dead person pronouns just to highlight how horrible their current hangover is. A notorious aspiring ladies' man who keeps trying to pursue women in their 20s despite of approaching middle age fails to notice the insult when someone asks him when he's planning to get married, and uses the pronoun that implies that his ideal future bride may not even be born yet.

A mother whose young adult child just moved away from home for the first time, who continues to dramatically refer to their child with "may or may not be already dead" until the aforementioned child replies to her on facebook like "ma stop telling people I'm dead" and having her respond with "well how could I possibly know that when you don't even write to us? >:,C"

Dear LGBTQ+ Community

I would like to preface this by stating that I have absolutely no intention of offending any of you, if I do, it is completely unintentional, please let me know what I did so that I can fix it, but please also be patient with me, I am simply a lot curious, a little confused, and possessing an intense hatred for my own ignorance in almost anything. Also, disclaimer, y'all were essentially demonized to me from the moment I was born, I never had any irl exposure to your community, all of my knowledge comes from tumblr and ao3, so, if I say something wrong, please, please be gentle?

That said, I had some questions, if any of y'all'd be ok with answering?

A) I read an article that referred to someone was both bi and lesbian, but I thought bi people were the ones who were attracted to guys and girls, and lesbians were only attracted to guys? I don't understand, you can be both?

B) I know that aro and ace are different things, but does that mean there are two entirely different fields? like you could have someone who's biromantic, but heterosexual? or vice versa?

C) How do you pronounce xe? I honestly do not know. I'd've guessed you'd pronounce it like the 'x' in Xerxes, but I know some people go by ze, so it'd make more for it to be pronounced differently, but I can't think of how?

D) I've read fics where FtM trans people broke their ribs because they wore binders too tightly/for too long. Is... is this real? Please tell me it's not real, that sounds scary dangerous, and I really don't want y'all getting hurt, please say it's an exaggeration

E) I've gotten conflicting information, if you're asexual, do you dislike sex, are you neutral about it, is it something else?

F) I've also read a thing that had an asexual character who was sexually attracted to one person they were already romantically attracted to, but isn't that demisexual?

G) For poly groups, how do break-ups work? Is there a vote? This has been keeping me up for days, I just can't think of how it'd go?

H) I think that open relationships are are supposed to be romantic for those in it, and purely sexual for the others who get involved, whereas poly relationships are both romantic and sexual, and sleeping with someone outside the group would be cheating. Could someone please confirm or correct?

I) If you are only attracted to people you have a romantic attraction towards, that means you're demi, right?

J) If every romantic relationship I take part in ends up reinforcing the fact that there is a good chance I am simply incapable of forming lasting romantic relationships, probably due to my ignorance of how to interact with people matched with my belief that it won't last anyway and the fact that there is not a single person whom I trust enough to share every side of myself, am I demi? Aro? Is it just the trust and abandonment issues mixed with unrealistic expectations? I don't think I'm asexual, but I've only ever been attracted to a couple of people I know? I still want someone and I want a relationship like ones I've seen or read about, but I'm also very much a loner? Like, I was homeschooled without extracurriculars and now I'm in college, and I don't know how to be around people? I want people, but being around them too long makes me feel like having a panic attack? Am I only getting into romantic relationships due to being starved for praise and affection? How do I know?!?!?

Sorry, that kind of devolved at the end, but, um. Yeah. If any of y'all would be willing to please help, that'd be very much appreciated. Thank you. Sorry for bugging you.

-Elizabeth

"Fantasy"

There’s a world between the day and the night,

Where armies of darkness battle guardians of light,

Where weak and wounded, the smallest stand strong,

Alone and outnumbered, yet they still soldier on.

A world of ‘what-if’s and ‘what-might-have-been’s,

Where we rise and we fall, and get back up again.

It holds far-off futures, long-ago pasts,

And all of humanity in a looking-glass.

A world conceived in thought, and shaped with words,

Where our yearnings, where our dreams, catch fire and burn,

Where valor and honor hold their heads high,

And rallying, we turn the darkest of tides.

The dark that dwells here is loathsome and fierce,

But by the slightest of sparks is stricken and pierced,

One truth dealing death to thousands of lies,

Goodness will conquer, beauty will survive.

We hold this world close, deep within our hearts,

It’s too tender a dream to bear harsh remarks,

It’s our work of art, it’s our own story,

Our creation, our comfort, just a fantasy.

I've dabbled in poetry. I'm not very good, but I thought this was ok.

So I’m catching up on Batman lore and comics.

I NEED A FANFIC WHERE SOMEONE SITS DOWN AND TELLS JASON THAT BATMAN TRIED TO KILL THE JOKER, ALMOST STARTED A WAR, AND WAS STOPPED BY SUPERMAN.

It drives me insane that the only reason Joker is not in a lead box at the bottom of Gotham Harbor is he somehow magically became the Iranian ambassador (how?!) and the UN hired Superman to stop Batman from causing WW3.

AND NO ONE TELLS JASON!

Oh! I hear you cry, But he saved Joker’s life after Dick beat him to death! Jason deserves to be angry.

OH BULLSHIT!

Dick wasn’t trying to avenging Jason! He almost kills Joker by mistake in a moment of grief and Joker egging him on! Dick literally mourns after he realizes what he’s done, claiming by killing the Joker “Joker won.”

So why would Batman save the Joker? I’ll tell you why. Batman didn’t save the Joker for Joker! Batman saved the Joker to save Dick!

Dick is acting on revenge for the near death of Tim and despite it being Killer Croc who had captured and presumably killed Tim, Dick blames the Joker and goes on a poorly thought out vengeance quest that haunts him even when it doesn’t work. He’s spiraling the minute Tim points out Joker is dead. You really think Bruce couldn’t see the writing on the wall that actually killing someone would destroy Dick and try to minimize the guilt Dick would feel by not letting the Joker die.

His second son is dead. The third was just thought to be dead. Batman isn’t going to sit back and let his oldest kill himself!

(Now you could argue all that I’m saying is fandom rationalizations of weird character choices made by multiple writers over at DC (Disregard Canon). Batman does let Dick walk away in shame after reviving Joker. But if I chose to forget that Bruce PUNCHES Dick after Dick rightfully demands to know why Bruce didn’t try to tell him his brother died before the funeral, I can damn well recontextualize a stupid panel and scrape together a consistent character profile based on the versions of Batman that I like! Fuck you!)

So yes! SOMEONE PLEASE JUST TELL JASON WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED AFTER HE DIED SO HE CAN MAKE AN INFORMED DECISION FOR ONCE!