Lrb

🐝  *  ―  𝑳𝑰𝑵𝑲𝑰𝑵 𝑷𝑨𝑹𝑲 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.  (  all of these are taken from the album ‘meteora’ released in 2003.  feel free to adjust to better fit your muses.  )

❛  sometimes i need you to stay away from me.  ❜ ❛  just give me myself back and don't stay.  ❜ ❛  sometimes i feel like i trusted you too well.  ❜ ❛  somehow i need to be alone.  ❜ ❛  i don't need you anymore.  ❜ ❛  i wanna heal.  ❜ ❛  i wanna let go of the pain i've felt so long.  ❜ ❛  i wanna find something i've wanted all along, somewhere i belong.  ❜ ❛  i've got nothing to say.  ❜ ❛  so what am i?  ❜ ❛  i will never know myself until i do this on my own.  ❜ ❛  i wanna feel like i'm somewhere i belong.  ❜ ❛  but i can't pretend this is the way it'll stay.  ❜ ❛  i can't pretend i'm who you want me to be.  ❜ ❛  no, no turning back now.  ❜ ❛  the very worst part of you is me.  ❜ ❛  this isn't what i wanted to be.  ❜ ❛  you think having the upper hand means you gotta keep putting me down.  ❜ ❛  so many people like me put so much trust in all your lies.  ❜ ❛  i'll never trust a single thing you say.  ❜ ❛  i would retrace every wrong move that i made.  ❜ ❛  if i could stand up and take the blame, i would.  ❜ ❛  sometimes i remember the darkness of my past.  ❜ ❛  pretending i don't feel misplaced is so much simpler than change.  ❜ ❛  it's like no matter what i do, i can't convince you.  ❜ ❛  but i'll be here 'cause you're all that i got.  ❜ ❛  don't turn your back on me.  ❜ ❛  you're gonna listen to me, like it or not.  ❜ ❛  sometimes i wonder why this is happening.  ❜ ❛  you've become a part of me.  ❜ ❛  i don't know what's worth fighting for.  ❜ ❛  i don't know how i got this way, i know it's not alright.  ❜ ❛  i don't know who to trust.  ❜ ❛  i won't trust myself with you.  ❜ ❛  so i suppose that it gets to a point where feelings gotta get hurt.  ❜ ❛  but you don't want to hear me.  ❜ ❛  i'm tired of being what you want me to be.  ❜ ❛  all i want to do is be more like me and be less like you.  ❜ ❛  can't you see that you're smothering me?  ❜ ❛  you were just like me with someone disappointed in you.  ❜

"You look like you've got something to say," Koito glares at Ogata defensive in advance.

a brat will always be a brat.

maybe it’s the irony of fate, should ogata believe in fate at all, or maybe another force was secretly at play, and they’d always be bound to meet halfway, in the same position as all those years back. ogata huffs out a mirthless laugh, ghost-pains where his eye should’ve been - had been not longer than a few days before - anchor him to the present. second lietunant koito, sprawled on the ground, helpless, a wounded puppy for all the barking he did around tsurumi’s feet on the daily. it’s annoying, it makes him want to break him badly.

he doesn’t, only keeps the urge at bay, for now. his gun remains still against the back of koito’s head, feeling his muscles tense below the barrel. he won’t hold out for much longer, the aching wounds becoming more persistent by the second, but he finds enough strength in himself to roll koito over and on his back, heel digging in the crook of his adam’s apple and sharp collarbone. ogata knows what it feels like, to feel cartilage giving into the pressure of a heavy step. it would be so easy…

“heh, i sure do. didn’t realize you were so concerned about me that you’d come visit. i’m moved.” ogata watches him with a dark gleam in his eye, mockery undisturbed, only heightened by the morphine traversing through his veins finally kicking in in-between words. “it’s not the first time you’ve been cornered like this. how many times is that going to happen until it sticks, that you’re not cut out for this?”

his foot presses lower, above koito’s ribcage, and the gun hovers on the space between his eyes. the gun's been unlocked from the start; it's unfinished business. at last his foot was in the throbbing expanse of his chest, which had only grown broader, a man's frame, even larger than ogata's had been when he was koito's age. heartbeats rumbled against bare skin. sweat pools like jewels on his temple, framing those features, as though painted from the finest inks. as if everything about him is a mirror of his lineage.

“spoiled brat.” the vowels come sharper than japanese, rusty from misuse. he searches for that feeling again, sour on his tongue, invokes the anger that had made him try and riddle his pretty skull with bullets back then.

instead he watches, quietly, as koito squirms. fights to regain control. the kick comes faster than he assumed his body could take, but he strikes koito’s face with the unceremonious grace that you’d haul corpses on the battlefield. he throws a last glance over his shoulder, for memory’s sake, perhaps. or because he just wanted to see him cry a little, as he’d done at tsurumi’s lap many times before.

@muddsludge

help…..

Now we’re even.

while we're at it who wants a gojo in their inbox? Like this post and I'll send him your way

while re-reading Tokyo ghoul manga to wipe dust off my yomo muse I remembered how much I loved this series 😭😭 honestly miss writing Tsukiyama too... That was forever ago, so I'm not sure if his muse is still alive but we'll see.

darker vibes

❛ i would let you rip me apart if it meant loving you. ❜

❛ this fear you feel? it won’t last. ❜

❛ you are my salvation. ❜

❛ i revolt you, don’t i? ❜

❛ get the hell away from me. ❜

❛ i want to sink my teeth into every inch of you. ❜

❛ i’ll be your dirty little secret, if that’s what you’re into. ❜

❛ worship me. until i tell you to stop. ❜

❛ don’t you know how sick with love i am for you? ❜

❛ fucking hit me already. ❜

❛ i would burn the world for you. ❜

❛ i don’t want to be good, no matter how hard you wish it. ❜

❛ i don’t know how you’ve bewitched me, but it needs to stop. ❜

❛ fix me. ❜

❛ they die for love, you kill for it. ❜

❛ you are mine, whether you agree or not. ❜

❛ do you like it when i bleed for you? ❜

❛ i will keep hurting. i will keep killing. anything to protect you. ❜

❛ i’m starved for you, morning and night. ❜

❛ now i get to ravish you. ❜

❛ i am your god and your executioner. ❜

❛ you are doing so well, my pet. ❜

❛ you’re my sweetest poison. ❜

❛ let’s do something about that mouth of yours. ❜

❛ your fascination with me will be your death. ❜

❛ you’re the monster that’s enticed me into your bed. ❜

❛ all you can say are pretty lies. ❜

❛ the fucked up thing is that it isn’t enough to just love you. ❜

❛ you’ve broken me. all i can think about is you. ❜

❛ you’ll beg for more. ❜

❛ an eternity with you would never satisfy me. ❜

❛ i would gladly let you drag me to hell. ❜

❛ everything i’ve done.. every horrible atrocity, it’s been for you. ❜

❛ you’re a fucking nightmare. kiss me. ❜

❛ feel grateful that i allow you to touch me. ❜

❛ every time your lips touch my skin, you burn me from the inside out. ❜

❛ there’s no black or white, only gray. ❜

❛ no one touches what’s mine. ❜

❛ make me indifferent, make me horrible. ❜

❛ i could never be the one to love you. i can only be the one that kills you. ❜

❛ your lips are poison, your laugh a curse. ❜

sugar daddy au

❛ ah, so you aren’t heartless after all. ❜ to my cousin, gojo :)

‘ what's that supposed to mean? ’

three years of memories aren’t so easily forgotten, after all. though the words press a wound that he’d thought dormant, he makes no bigger show of it. maybe the way his words get stuck in his throat briefly signals that his mind is doing a leap back in time, to those days of blue skies, listless smiles, the chill of spring-time; besides the pause, hardly anything shows on his perfectly shrouded face. he scratches at the back of his head, suddenly not liking the sour taste left in his mouth, so he swallowed thickly and through a dry throat.

‘ just because we're related doesn't mean you can go around poking at me — what, did you think i'd let you off easily? now you owe me four strawberry milkshakes, so get moving. ’

🐝  *  ―  𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑷𝑯𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑶𝑴 𝑶𝑭 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑶𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑨 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺. ( all of these are taken from the song lyrics from the musical of the same name. feel free to change pronouns and adjust to your needs! )

❛  remember me once in a while — please promise me you'll try.  ❜ ❛  where in the world have you been hiding?  ❜ ❛  stories like this can't come true.  ❜ ❛  close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams.  ❜ ❛  and you'll live as you've never lived before.  ❜ ❛  let your darker side give in.  ❜ ❛  who was that shape in the shadows?  ❜ ❛  is this what you wanted to see?  ❜ ❛  now you cannot ever be free!  ❜ ❛  fear can turn to love, you'll learn to see.  ❜ ❛  i shall give you one last chance.  ❜ ❛  it's useless trying to appease me.  ❜ ❛  you're only saying this to please me.  ❜ ❛  if he knew the truth, he'd never, ever go.  ❜ ❛  it was an accident ... simply an accident.  ❜ ❛  why have you brought me here?  ❜ ❛  what you heard was a dream and nothing more.  ❜ ❛  i'm here, nothing can harm you.  ❜ ❛  i'm here with you, beside you, to guard you and to guide you.  ❜ ❛  promise me that all you say is true, that's all i ask of you.  ❜ ❛  you're safe, no one will find you.  ❜ ❛  all i want is freedom, a world with no more night, and you, always beside me, to hold me and to hide me.  ❜ ❛  all our fears are in the past.  ❜ ❛  why is it secret? what have we to hide?  ❜ ❛  [name], what are you afraid of?  ❜ ❛  you were once my companion, you were all that mattered.  ❜ ❛  why can't the past just die?  ❜ ❛  don't make me do this. it scares me.  ❜ ❛  we'll be parted forever, he won't let me go.  ❜ ❛  am i to risk my life to win the chance to live?  ❜ ❛  do i have any choice?  ❜ ❛  i know i can't refuse, and yet i wish i could.  ❜ ❛  don't think that i don't care, but every hope and every prayer rests on you now.  ❜ ❛  you! why did you let this happen?  ❜ ❛  but can i trust you?  ❜ ❛  i love her! does that mean nothing?  ❜ ❛  the world showed no compassion to me!  ❜ ❛  did you think that i would harm her?  ❜ ❛  why should i make her pay for the sins which are yours?  ❜ ❛  this is the choice — this is the point of no return.  ❜