I'm Okay Eating With My Family, Even If I Prefer To Be By Myself. But I Fucking Hate Eating Around Others,

THIS exactly omg

why is my entire dash just edblr, wlw nsfw txt posts, occasional sh pics and every now n then something NORMAL 😭😭🙏

Just tried that light green/paradise monster and it reminds of me those apple gummy bears I used to eat as a kid? Idk it's just kinda sweet and not my favourite but I think it's definitely drinkable

I mean it for sure makes me kinda nostalgic - I mean these gummy bears made me (among sooo many other things) a fatty little kid and then I got bullied and then there were Mom and Grandma's comments and you know how the story goes lol.

Yeah... the good ol' days

(The more I'm sipping in that monster rn though the more I like it so I guess 7/10???) lol no one asked for a monster review yet here I am

(Can you tell I'm fucking bored?)

Sooo I did successfully get around eating my Dad's birthday cake, because my entire family kind if overslept and I said I'd take a piece to school with me since I'm in such a rush

Yeah, I'm obviously not gonna eat it, but I'm so happy I got around it 😅

I really love math and physics actually

active 4n4 blogs in february 2025 reblog this , trying to find active moots

Powerwalking around the schoolyard because my friends want to play Volleyball

(I look like a fucking weird loner but at least I'm getting in my steps)

I thought I WANTED a proper balanced meal filling me up, getting rid of the headache and dizziness and giving me energy.

Turns out all I NEEDED was some coffee and a sf Monster

a friend told me I'm one of the skinniest people she knows

I don't know if she meant it though, so I'm feeling really conflicted about it, because for one, I want to feel incredibly happy about it, but then I know what my scale says, and what my thighs look like... But maybe she was just talking about my waist.

i know we’re all mentally ill here and everyone is going to scroll past this but i feel like i have an obligation to make a post like this every few weeks.

i am not romanticizing what i go through at all. i am miserable. this disorder is miserable. please, if there is any hope you can recover, try it. i will be your biggest cheerleader. not because i want to see you gain weight, but because I want to see you live, truly live.

you will probably never make it to your ugw. if you do you will not be happy there, or you will die of complications when you’re finally happy.

Soooo these busy days I mentioned are over and I have in fact reached my lowest weight since summer! It's probably not that impressive but I am incredibly happy still. (And yes, I am in fact absolutely drained but I did have fun, I'm just so tired now 🥲)

Now I have this Sunday to get through, then a week of school when restricting will be easy of course, but then I'll have two weeks off due to Eastern....

I guess I'll really have to bury myself in work and exercise then and not give myself the chance to eat anything besides the meals I'll have to eat with my family.

Breakfast I should always be able to skip, dinner too I could say I take to my room to eat there because of school work or something, and then lunch I'll just have to always help preparing so I know exactly what we'll eat and so I can make at least my serving lower in calories.

Maybe I'll also have to resort to the sad Pinterest ana meals with half a cucumber and egg whites, because my parents don't seem to know an awful lot about nutrition, and as long as I eat anything they tend to not raise an eyebrow.

(No hate on these kind of meals, they're really a game changer, but since I tend to do OMAD and a small snack, I just really like to make my meals more colorful and more interesting)

I'll also have more time to exercise, then I know of two days on which I can fast, because we'll be travelling to my Grandma, and for a couple of days only my Dad and I will be home, and I have a feeling that will make not eating/eating low-cal meals even easier.

(Partly because the chance someone is going to be in the kitchen when I want to measure out my food will be lower lol)