Neurotypical people often hold people with ASD to the same social standards when that is not a fair gauge for judgements. A few tips to be more accommodating for people with ASD:
Adapt your processes
Provide questions in advance
Don't use social skills as standard for competence
Provide clear communication
Provide accommodations
Give grace, this one is for everyone.
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When we see that the anxiety of keeping up and comparing ourselves to others are survival skills, it can help us treat those thoughts with compassion instead of shame. But in most present-day situations, keeping up isn’t a safety threat. Instead, we can recognize where these thoughts come from and shift toward a more helpful perspective.
Now that we know where these feelings come from, let’s talk about what to do about them.
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